Most people, including myself, have been scolded by their parents in childhood and even adolescence.

Many people have been kept in the dark by their parents' beating and scolding, so when they grow up, they secretly swear not to treat their children in the form of beating and scolding. But in the face of naughty children, there will be times when you can't control your emotions. Even some parents have taken many physical and mental courses in order to "convince people with virtue".

With the progress and development of society, the education of beating, scolding and clubbing has been abandoned and criticized by the social trend, and the education mode of "no beating, no scolding" has begun to spread and has been actively praised. The general idea is that no matter what mistakes children make, they should not beat and scold, but should adopt a gentle attitude to educate them. But is this kind of education really scientific and advanced?

In life, many parents advocate not beating or scolding, so "being reasonable" has become a kind of education method that many parents like.

One parent said that her 7-year-old daughter was so rebellious that she didn't want to do anything. She often tries to reason with her children, but they don't listen, which often makes her angry.

Many parents stand in the position of educators and instill their experiences, cognition and expectations into their children from top to bottom under the banner of being good for their children.

In the face of parents' righteous words, children have no room to refute.

Even if parents win the education, they lose their children.

This kind of reasoning by parents can hardly work on children, because children's cognitive level is very different from that of adults.

We all know that everyone has a left brain and a right brain.

The left brain is responsible for language, logic, reasoning, abstraction, calculation, etc. This is reason and logic, while the right brain is in charge of intuition, emotion, graphics, perception, image memory and inspiration, which is perceptual and intuitive.

When the left brain and the right brain work together, people's life activities will be very harmonious, but our children's congenital development characteristics are that the right brain develops before and the left brain develops after.

Scientific research shows that the brain does not fully mature until after the age of 25. In other words, children's emotional problems are mostly due to the emotions stimulated by their right brain, while the left brain, which is in charge of rationality, is still developing.

As Siegel said in the book "Whole Brain Education": When emotions are out of control, the culprit is the problem of our right brain and lower brain, whether it is children or adults.

Therefore, it is useless for children if parents believe that they will not fight or scold and choose to be reasonable.

Dewey, an educator, said that education is never something to be told and told, but a positive and constructive process.

Educating children not to oppress others with big principles and forcing them to accept their parents' verbal reasoning is a manifestation of brute force, laziness and rough thinking, which will not only help solve the problem, but will make it more and more tight.

Having said that, back to the original question, is the education of children who don't beat and scold scientific and advanced?

In fact, education is not scientific and advanced at all, because there has never been a unified standard for educating children, and no standard can be applied to all children. Every child is different.

No matter what kind of education, we pay attention to teaching students in accordance with their aptitude.

You know, what suits children is the best.

Education should vary from person to person. Some children may need appropriate punishment for beating and cursing, otherwise they would have been bandits, and some will only cause serious psychological harm to them. Some children need their parents' encouragement even if they make mistakes, and some children can't correct their behavior without beating them up when they make mistakes.

Real family education is not a face-to-face life, nor a process of beating and scolding children, but a spring breeze. Parents need to educate their children in a targeted manner on the basis of clarifying their children's personality talents.