Parents need to go through a groping process. When a person is born, his DNA is arranged, which means that what he wants to do in this life must be planned. This is called innate life plan, so fate can be interpreted as a life plan brought by nature. If you follow this, you will be natural, happy and satisfied, but when we are born, we will forget all this, which is a very interesting thing for people.
If we were born knowing what to do in this life, ok? In fact, it is not good, so you will never try to take another road, and people will be very monotonous, so I often think that God is really good enough for people. He made you have a plan, but he made you forget everything. You have to start groping, that is, groping for what you want to do, not groping for what you like to do. When you think this is what you want to do in your life, your life will change from now on. If I didn't know you until I was 40 or 50 years old,
Look at a child who is several months old. He knows everything but can't say it. But as he grew up, he slowly learned the acquired things, and the innate things were forgotten. Only in this way can you know that the child's smile is not for no reason, but that you don't know him and he doesn't know himself. At this time, parents will begin to explore.
But now parents don't want their children to grope, so they must do it in their parents' way. This is too overbearing. Parents should do their duty and tell him to explore, not to do whatever they want, but to explore what they like within a reasonable range. That's right.
Find what it should be first, then draw the scope of what it should be, and then find what you like to do. This is brought by nature, so many people always don't understand what my mission is, where my mission is, and what I want to do in my life. My answer is simple, that is, when you do something, it's monotonous and boring. If you don't want to do it, it's not your destiny. Fate is that when you are doing it, you feel very excited and good, and you don't feel hard if you work hard. For example, some people want to play mahjong all their lives, and nothing will die. He is full of energy as soon as he sits on the mahjong table, which he found himself. You see, some people will die on the flat ground, and they will be full of energy on the mountain. His destiny is to conquer the mountain peaks.
Many people ask me, how can I find my destiny and know what I am doing in my life? I said you just don't look. If you have it, you will find it at once. So are children. Some children like everything except reading when they are young, and their grades are very poor. But in the end, they become excellent when they go to college, because people will change, not you. The key is to change.
Parents don't have to force him. Suddenly, he will change. He won't like anything, because he has played everything and has nothing to like. When he looks back, he'd better study. From now on, he will concentrate more than anyone else. This is what we call the prodigal son returning. The more you push him to the end, he always thinks it is more fun outside. He finally graduated and never studied again, so this man is finished. Not bad grades when I was young, but bad grades all my life. There is no such thing. So some children do this first, while others do that first. His parents don't care about him. The responsibility of parents is to provide their children with a groping process and be responsible for his safety. So why do parents give their children toys, that is, try to do all kinds of things for him? If he doesn't like it at first sight, parents don't have to immediately conclude that he just doesn't like it. Maybe after two years, he felt like it again. Regardless of his parents, he will go this way himself.
You see, better schools don't have certain textbooks. It doesn't mean that the whole class learns the same thing, but there are still many things left there, and then the children can choose for themselves. Whether male or female, sew if you want, and tidy up the shoe cabinet. The teacher has no opinion on what the child wants to do, and then the child finds out what he doesn't like by groping, changes if he doesn't like it, finds what he likes to do, and then does it slowly, from which he can learn a lot. Don't take fate as a superstitious thing, because each of us has individual differences. Our individual differences are destiny. You see, each of us does different things in the company. Each of us does different things in society. We have to do different things all our lives. This is called fate.
As parents, we shouldn't tell our children that I will support you today and you will support me later. Although there is nothing wrong with the sentence "raising children to prevent old age", it is wrong to hope that he will prevent old age, and it is also wrong to absolutely ask him to prevent old age. It sounds strange, but it's actually very simple. Whether a child will adopt his parents is a natural result, not a plan in advance. This is the difference. If parents start telling their children that I will raise you now and you will raise me later, then you should regard it as a business. This is the so-called investment loan. You don't treat them like children, but they become your suppliers or sales channels.
Why do some families prefer boys to girls? Because they have the idea of investing in money lending, they think that investing in their daughters is poor and investing in their sons is high, so they invest all their money in their sons. This is business, not family education. The correct education is that parents cultivate their children well and will naturally support you in the future if they have the ability. I am very opposed to people showing off themselves. For example, some people say that I don't want my children to control me. This is showing off. You know, you are lucky to be one of the few people who don't need children to support you, but most parents in the world need children to support them when they are old. What's your attitude? Listen carefully, it is filial piety to support parents when children are old. Parents can't stop him, can't ask him, and can't always dictate how much money you give me a month, otherwise it's unfilial, that's wrong, that's all.
Raising children for old age is a clear natural result, but the expected result is not good and the motivation is not good. Now we are not, which means we absolutely refuse, or we must refuse. This is an incorrect concept.
In fact, parents don't need to teach their children filial piety. If you are filial to your parents, he will naturally follow suit. Filial piety is not human nature. If filial piety is innate, then we don't have to write about it. Visible children, he may not be filial to his parents. I often joke that children have only one task, that is, to be angry with their mothers. They are more afraid of their father and dare not be angry with him. What is filial piety? He's angry with his mother because she worked so hard to give birth to the baby? Therefore, filial piety is an acquired habit.
Filial piety is not human nature. Don't think so beautifully. This is an acquired habit. Parents should help their children form this habit. On the one hand, it is good for him. This is called wealth. To give full play to a child's strengths, as long as you let his potential play out and let him find what he wants to do, he will be very excited and focused. He will naturally achieve that result and be filial to you in the future. This is a happy ending. After you push him, he will run away. Many parents have worked hard to sell their property and send their children to study in the United States, but how many people's children come back after going to the United States with that kind of expression and words, which is actually ugly, and the final result is unfilial.
It means that parents have high expectations. When you want to get the interest back, it is impossible to calculate. It is wrong for parents not to like the low rate of return. So as a parent, don't deliberately. You show it to your child when he is very young, and then you can safely provide him with what you have. An unfilial person, if you give him too much, you are hurting him. We often say that loyalty comes from the door of a dutiful son. A person who is unfaithful to you depends on his filial piety first. Loyalty and filial piety are consistent. People who are unfilial to their parents will not be loyal to their superiors and will not be true to their friends. This is very clear.
So why should people be filial? Because filial piety is the foundation of many virtues, and filial piety needs parents to show their children. Therefore, it is the best family structure to run in the family. Parents are very filial to their elders, and children will naturally be filial when they are young. As long as he is filial, you don't have to worry about it, because as long as he can do it, he will naturally support you, but if he can't, you don't have to scold him. So everyone is happy.
But now some people are determined to take that unpleasant road. Now we have made it very clear that it is up to you to decide whether you want to be happy or not. Some people often ask for trouble. Obviously, there is a very happy road, and they have to squeeze that trouble, and then they will pull a long face and swear all day. In fact, it is themselves who should be scolded.