The way mothers educate their children (1) cultivates children's love.
It is necessary for mothers to explain to their children that kindness and politeness are as important as outstanding performance in school and sports.
Those children who are emotionally cultivated will produce what psychologist Daniel calls emotional IQ, that is, the ability to coordinate their own needs with those of others. Such people have more opportunities to stay ahead in life than others. A series of investigations in Bell Laboratories show that engineers with rich achievements are not necessarily people with the highest IQ, but people who can communicate well with colleagues.
Mothers usually develop their children's friendship skills.
A colleague told me that he had difficulty making friends when he was a child. At that time, a teammate was injured, and my friend's mother insisted that he make a phone call and ask the boy how he felt. "Mom," my friend objected, "he doesn't even know who I am." "He will know." His mother replied. This phone call marks the beginning of close friendship. My mother made me understand that friendship comes from your concern for others, not asking others to express their concern for you. Colleagues recalled this incident and said.
(b) More praise and encouragement.
We all know that praise can make people work miracles. Too much criticism will lead children to blame themselves too much and let them take some risks for success.
There are right and wrong ways to praise. Most parents can count carefully when criticizing their children, but they are vague when praising their children-"You are a great child" will make the temporary glory disappear in an instant. So Yang should be more specific and say "you are brave" instead of "I am proud that you climbed into the car after falling." This clearly explains why this behavior is commendable.
Everyone has a "key area", once praised, it will receive unexpected results. As a mother, you probably know better than anyone what is important to your children-perhaps music, sports or a certain course. If you don't know, there is nothing wrong with asking.
Secondly, because children can only absorb so many compliments at a time, they will give some compliments in small quantities and frequently. A hundred encouragements a minute is better than a hundred praises.
(3) Talking about "taboo"
We live in a dangerous world. In this world, children are exposed to drugs, alcohol and sex. Some mothers worry that talking about such taboo behaviors is encouraging them to do so. But the opposite is true. The survey found that children who have talked frankly with their parents are less likely to take drugs and drink alcohol.
Mothers can especially talk about these sensitive topics skillfully with their children. Let yourself know about these phenomena first, and then ask the children what they know. Children aged six or seven may have heard such things on the playground or seen them on TV. Point out that you talk to them about this kind of thing to let them know the danger, not to distrust them, and to let them know that you are willing to answer any questions or talk to them about their troubles.
(4) appropriately relax the boundaries.
Children need unconditional love, so that the seeds of self-esteem and self-love can grow. This unconditional love doesn't mean that you don't set any boundaries. Setting boundaries is to let children know that he is important to you. When children cross the line, explain to them that you are disappointed in this behavior, not in them.
As children grow up, the boundaries will naturally be relaxed. Especially boys, they want to keep a certain distance from their mothers. Psychologist Ivanso Besso once wrote: When the boys first met the toy truck, the roar of the car began in their hearts, which was innate. They want to take risks and show the strength of men they have seen. As boys grow up, their boundaries should be appropriately relaxed. A mother should not feel abandoned or weak.
Mothers are a great source of encouragement for children. Psychologist Eton Chase surveyed 250 school-age children and found that nearly half of them wanted to be mothers, not fathers. Bezo speculates that one of the reasons is that children want to know more about their mother's work and visit their mother's workplace.
(5) Ask the designated party
Children need a moral compass. This means instilling the concept of right and wrong not only on major issues, but also on daily trivia.
A mother saw her five-year-old son riding his friend and neighbor's seven-year-old boy. "Tom doesn't need this car," said his son. "He is at school." He thinks there is nothing wrong with doing so, because his friends won't mind. But the mother insisted that her son take the car back: "It is wrong to use other people's property without permission."
When a mother pays enough attention to the cultivation of children's sense of responsibility, integrity and loyalty, they establish a value system for their children, which will become priceless to them. The best moral guidance is the mother's own behavior. If the mother shirks her responsibility, ignores the rights of others, or reneges, the child will lose the guidance of behavior.
You may not want to hear the words, "But, Mom, that's what you did."
(6) play with children.
In a very short period of time, mothers usually pay attention to the so-called important things-catching their children and helping them with their homework. However, in our fast-paced society, children want more than that. They want to spend good time with their mothers.
It doesn't take much time, as long as you have a playful attitude, an attitude that is willing to turn homework time into fun or turn housework into games.
A friend lets her children play with their friends in the kitchen. Toys, paints and dirt fly into the food from time to time. A few years later, her son who went to college took an old friend home for dinner. "I always thought it would be great to go to your house," said my friend. "We used to laugh here-the toy fell into the soup."
Being a mother is a responsible job, but it doesn't mean it is a burden. Sometimes you need less responsibility-never mind what you ask of yourself and play with your children.