But in the middle of June 5438+February, the child suddenly cried resolutely, saying that he didn't want to be so tired, go back to school, and don't want to take the college entrance examination. And roared: at my current level, I can't live without believing it.
The mother tried to denounce the sermon, but was resolutely stopped by her son's irrational attitude. The child says he knows everything, but he doesn't want to go back to school!
Why do children have such a big emotional expression? How to pull the child's mentality back? Mom, calm down.
Wait quietly and give the child time to calm down. The mother was silent, but she watched the child attentively, expecting the child to calm down and give her some answers.
For a day or two, the mother left the child in the room without urging him. Whether to go out for dinner or not is up to him, without asking.
The mother knows that when the child is emotional, preaching is asking for trouble. In this case, the child must have encountered something uncontrollable and need to give him time to calm down first. Fortunately, children have a certain learning foundation, and the school is now systematically reviewing knowledge with teachers, and there is no pressure to learn new knowledge. So, don't force the children.
Three days later, the child seemed to be more rational and felt the difference in the atmosphere at home. His mother, who has always been strict and unwilling to give in, has given him a quiet time these two days. The child was a little grateful and finally came out to talk to his mother calmly.
Patiently looking for reasons and making clear the key to solving problems Vernon Howard once said: "A clear understanding of negative emotions can eliminate them."
When the mother saw her son calm down, she asked calmly, "Can you tell me what's going on?"
"I just feel too stressed and don't want to learn."
"Is that right? Because of this? "
"How do you women change so fast? If you say no, you ignore it. Ah ... "The son suddenly became angry again.
Then, from her son's intermittent angry and sometimes sad narrative, the mother finally understood the real reason for her son's sudden change of mood: her son fell in love with his puppy and fell in love again! It seems that the whole world has lost its commonality, so I feel that life is meaningless and everything does not attract him. The real reason why I don't want to go to school is that I don't want to see that girl and I don't have the courage to face her.
The point is that the timing of this outbreak is too inappropriate. If my son is in this state, don't go back to school. I'm afraid he really can't take the college entrance examination this year. If he spends a year not talking, his son's will may be depressed. The mother didn't expect her son to fall in love early and regretted her negligence in this respect.
After learning about the child's specific situation, the mother knows that it is useless to say empty words and emotional problems are invalid. So I further confirmed the firmness of children not going to school, and then made an understanding attitude: children can not go to school to review, but they have to make three chapters.
Chapter 3: Chapter 1: Do activities at home according to the school schedule, get up at 6: 00, wash breakfast after running for half an hour, and sit at the desk to review books at 8: 00 on time after breakfast, even if you can't review, you should sit at the desk; /kloc-take a 50-minute break at 0/0, have lunch at 12: 00, and then relax until 1: 00 to continue studying in the afternoon. You still have to sit at your desk and relax until 5 pm. After dinner at six o'clock, watch the news at seven o'clock, and continue to study at night at seven thirty, at nine thirty. Can't be lazy in bed, can't play games, can't read idle books and newspapers.
Chapter 2: When sitting at a desk, parents must accompany and supervise to prevent lazy beds.
Chapter 3: During studying at home, you should not lose your temper with your parents, do your own thing and control yourself.
After listening to the contract, the child agreed: "As long as you don't go to school, you can do whatever you want", so you signed it in writing and the agreement was formed.
Strict implementation:
According to the third chapter of the contract, the mother specially asks for leave at home, and wakes up the children on time to go out for self-help exercise in strict accordance with the schedule. After breakfast, the mother sits at the desk on time and lets the children do what they want, that is, they are not allowed to leave the desk or move anything unrelated to study. Children are born with no intention to study, hold their heads in boredom and say that they are thinking. Mom didn't bother him either, just supervised him not to sleep lazily in bed and not to play mobile games.
At the end of this day, although the children are not in the mood to review anything, they also feel another kind of freedom. At ten o'clock at night, I went to bed early. The next morning, I was woken up by my mother on time. According to my schedule, everything started again. Knowing that his mother was ill, he expected her to feel tired and gave up his supervision. In fact, it was really hard and tiring to sit with him for a day, but for the sake of the children, her mother gritted her teeth and persisted. On the third day, the child felt a little bored, flipped through the books at will and looked at his watch from time to time to pass the time, but his mother still didn't blame him.
Asking for regression:
In this way, on the fifth day, the child finally shouted, "This is so boring. Sitting at your desk all day, you can do nothing else. It's like sitting in prison. It's worse than being in school. I'd better go back to school! "
Mother said, "That won't do. Go to XX when you go back to school, or you can't study hard when you see XX again. Let's stay at home. "
"I sit at my desk at home every day and stare at you like this. It's better to be at school! I've been sitting at my desk for nothing these days, and I want to understand that it's better to face her at school than to be so free at home. Besides, you tortured me these days, and I'm exhausted. I have no mind to think about her. I promise I can face her calmly without looking for her. "
This is what mother wants to achieve: let him be cherished by school freedom with a greater sense of freedom; Let him feel that there are more important things worthy of his action than lovelorn.
Carefully arrange and take children to experience the actual experience of life.
In order to make the child's mind return more thoroughly, the mother specially arranged the following experience activities for the child:
1. Go to relatives who have land in the countryside and help them farm for a day; Contact the foreman of a construction site and let the children participate in the construction work for one day; Go to the sanitation workers to negotiate, let the children do sanitation work for a day, and let the children really feel hard. Tell your child that you can do these jobs now without taking the exam, but can you stand such hard work and be satisfied with it all your life without regret.
2. Visit the nearest office building, see the working conditions and working environment of the staff in the office building, and feel different, so that children can feel with their own eyes: to survive at a higher level and play themselves in a better environment, they don't have the corresponding academic qualifications, or even the qualifications to enter. So, whether to take the exam or not, think about it.
3. Take the child to visit the libraries and classrooms of key high schools and universities after 10 in the evening, and feel that he is not alone in this tense environment. More and more students are working hard, and there are also many children with very good family conditions. No one leads an easy life. Don't just look at your own efforts. Everyone is working hard, even the children with better conditions are working harder than you, so you should look farther.
4. Tell the stories of great men and famous artists who are broad-minded and win glory for the country, and watch relevant film and television dramas together to further influence children and improve their internal strength. Tell children that life experiences may be different and it is normal to meet them. People's pursuit should not only be immediate. The world is so big. Let go of things that don't belong to them, and things that are more suitable for them will come to them at an appropriate time in the future.
Thanks to the efforts of the mother, the child finally got out of trouble and really returned to the classroom, and finally got into his ideal school with excellent results. After graduation, my child worked as a reporter in a financial magazine and accumulated some experience. Now, he has become a sunny, happy, confident and free self-media person.