Part one: growing up with children. 1. Care about your children, but don't spoil them.
1, concerned about children's learning. Be a good teacher and friend of children, and strengthen moral education for children through the role of example and example. Create a learning atmosphere at home to enhance children's consciousness and initiative in learning; Create an atmosphere of striving for Excellence in the unit, share the joy of harvest with children, enhance children's belief in striving for the upper reaches, and set a high starting point from an early age.
2. Communicate with children equally. The purpose of communication is to keep abreast of children's learning and life trends and help them learn to sum up. Positive encouragement is the biggest motivation for children's learning, and correct outlook on life, values and learning is instilled in children in communication. The ubiquitous social competition mechanism warns children to accept competition, adapt to competition and be brave in competition, and establish the determination to challenge the strong.
3. To prevent children's problems from dragging on for too long, find them in time, prevent them in advance, and help children analyze and solve their feelings of weariness, fear of difficulties, laxity or complacency as soon as possible, which can be solved through daily communication.
4. The requirements for children cannot be fully accepted. Reasonable demands should be met by creating conditions as much as possible, and unreasonable demands can't be agreed even if there are conditions, such as excessive computer play, sleeping late, low learning efficiency, money worship and so on. This is the standard to test the value orientation in family education.
5. Treat children's mistakes correctly. To allow children to make mistakes, no one is perfect, and parents themselves are not perfect. When we ask our children to do better, can we also reflect on whether we are doing well enough? We should warn children that everyone grows up in the process of constantly correcting mistakes, and it doesn't matter if they make mistakes, as long as they can find problems from mistakes and don't make the same mistakes next time.
Second, rest assured that the child will not let go.
1, to fully trust children. Every child has his own bright spot. We should be good at discovering the advantages and strengths of children. Don't let children become slaves to study. Let children learn in happiness and enjoy happiness from learning. Let children have a happy childhood.
2. Allow children to have their own space. We should respect children's independent personality, at the same time respect their privacy, and allow some abnormal behaviors of children in adolescence, as long as they are properly guided.
3. Regularly help children sum up their learning experience, analyze the existing shortcomings and gaps, and put forward alternative plans accordingly, so that children can truly win without arrogance and lose with grace.
4, the study plan should be practical, step by step, don't sell yourself short. The formulation of goals should vary from person to person, be effective in a short time, let children enjoy the happiness of success while paying, and let children constantly enhance their self-confidence.
Third, care for children should not be turned into a stumbling block. Caring for yourself is the greatest comfort to children.
1. Be proactive at work and make children happy and proud of having such parents;
2. Take care of yourself in life. Taking good care of yourself means taking good care of your children, without increasing the burden on them, and letting them study with zero burden;
3. Cut off children's dependence and enhance their sense of crisis. Let children know that parents can't stay with their children all their lives, and the road ahead depends on their own efforts. It's better to retreat and build a net for the fairy fish in the forest garden. Instead of spending a lot of time admiring others in idolization now, it is better to spend more time and energy now and let others envy you in the future.
For children who are homesick, it is better to study hard and create a better home for themselves in the future!
For parents, it is better to take care of themselves and let their children go their own way if they miss their children.
Children grow up day by day and gradually become sensible and mature. Let's grow up with our children while witnessing their growth!
Chapter two: How to treat children's naughty behavior? Children's naughty and disobedient are almost a headache for every parent. If our parents don't have a deep understanding of their children's psychological development, then we can't master their personality characteristics and get rid of some bad habits. Therefore, our parents should patiently and meticulously guide their children to develop in a healthy direction through various attempts. Children's mischief is mainly manifested in:
First, children can do whatever they want. For example, when a child is preparing for dinner, it is taken for granted that he must drink Sprite first, or put his hand into the dish when eating. I don't think parents should always indulge him. I tried not to give him anything else before dinner, so that he could remember what it was like to be hungry. After a while, he naturally formed the habit of eating.
Second, the child's unreasonable troubles. Sometimes children realize that the more they cry, the more toys adults usually give them. If adults obey him, over time, they will let him do the same next time. In this regard, my method is: treat him coldly first, and then communicate with him after he calms down, which makes him feel unreasonable and boring. After a period of time, it really received unexpected results.
Third, children are disobedient and go against their parents. A wayward child often disagrees with his parents' ideas. Sometimes he is told to get dressed, but he insists on taking off his clothes. He was told to wash his hands before eating, but he did the opposite. I think it may be effective to provoke him and then educate him to do his own thing.
When dealing with children's mischief, we should also properly apply the principle of combining criticism with praise. When a child takes the initiative to take shoes for an adult, he should be praised to make him achieve something, and the principle of combining criticism and praise should be properly used to treat children's pranks. Children should be praised for taking the initiative to bring shoes to adults, so that he will have a sense of accomplishment; When he asked his parents how to arrange their holidays, they should seriously discuss with him to make him realize the importance of his opinions, instead of simply perfunctory children. Of course, we must resolutely oppose and seriously criticize some unreasonable demands of children.
Chapter 3: Let children grow up by themselves. By chance, I will take my baby to attend the red, yellow and blue audition course. Although I consciously paid more attention to children's early education, I didn't think so at that time. I was concerned about its commercial purpose. Later, I experienced it with the mentality of trying. Fortunately, both the teaching objectives of the institution, the teaching skills of teachers and the teaching facilities used are close to my expectations.
At that time, there happened to be a class suitable for my children's age ready to start, so I signed up for a one-year course with the mentality of giving it a try. Anyway, before the age of 6, it is the best time for children to learn a language. As long as he doesn't resist, it's just exercise, and there's little hope. At first, I was afraid that he would have conflicts with extracurricular study. Before the first class, I used McDonald's as bait to "trick" him into going to class, because McDonald's was the only place he could hope for before. Anyway, he doesn't know when he goes to McDonald's, and he doesn't eat fried food. He only ate a cake for breakfast. No loss! Surprisingly, I told him about the content of the first class the night I came back. He is very happy and follows the lessons seriously, so as long as there are no special circumstances, he takes the initiative to review every night, and his favorite is to sing funny music. A month later, I found that he was very motivated to study in class and after class. Now he has just studied for two months, and he usually sings and dances happily at home from time to time. Some children's songs can often be blurted out, and the intonation is particularly appropriate. I think this is the biggest gain for children to learn music at this stage.
How to cultivate children into talents is believed to be one of the most concerned aspects for every parent in the process of their children's growth. Personally, I think the following principles are worth sharing with you: First, respect the wishes of children, respect their personality and respect their growth laws. In the red, yellow and blue course I share with you, respecting children's wishes means that I will not force them to take this course, respecting children's personality, that is, my children are outgoing and lively, and respecting their growth rules is the best time for children to learn languages. Secondly, I think we should not have too high expectations in cultivating children, as long as we create conditions and guide them well. Relatively speaking, I will focus on how to improve his interest in learning. For example, I took him to an audition class a long time ago, attended a birthday party and treated McDonald's as a "pie" in the hope that he would like the red, yellow and blue learning environment. Therefore, I think it is a process of choice to train children into adults, including choosing an attitude, choosing a way and creating some conditions.
I have to mention the teachers and consultants of the Red, Yellow and Blue Wanda Parent-child Park. They are young, especially the teachers. In the eyes of our parents, they are more like older children who are not familiar with the world. Perhaps it is because of their naive nature that children feel their sincerity and integrate into their activities. They are very friendly. Every time I go, I see the smiling faces of teachers and staff, even the aunts who are responsible for cleaning. Maybe they know that I must be happy before my children can be happy. They are also very caring and will provide all convenience for children to get through the adaptation period; Every week, the class teacher will communicate with the parents on the phone about their children. If you encounter problems, you will help them in time until they are solved.
Finally, I wish all children in red, yellow and blue can gain happiness and progress here!
Chapter four: The cold and warm education in preschool education needs the intimacy of parents and children, and parents and children need to fight against each other for their wrong thoughts and behaviors. In the process of fighting with my son, I found that silence is also a good way of education and has its unique role in family education. If parents can use it properly, it can convey rich and unspeakable information to their children and play an educational role of "silence is better than sound".
Once, my son used scissors to cut things at home because he was naughty. I was very angry at that time, but I thought that beating and cursing could not educate my children, so I suppressed my anger and turned away from him. My son was angry when he saw me, but he didn't say anything about him. He was a little upset. He kept following me, pleasing me, teasing me, or crawling around me. I did my own thing and talked as usual, but I didn't say anything about his mistake. It can be seen that he has realized his mistake, but he refuses to admit it, thinking that he can get over it by coaxing me. I have always insisted on not mentioning his mistakes. After a while, he really couldn't hold on. He stood timidly in front of me and whispered, "Dad, I was wrong. Sorry. " Seeing that children really realized their mistakes, I knew it was time for education. I immediately pulled him into my arms and asked him, "How are you wrong?" He spoke out his mistakes very sincerely. I forgave him at once and told him that it is a good boy to correct his mistakes, but if you don't admit and correct your mistakes, no one wants to be good friends with him. Since then, not only has my son not made the same mistake again, but his relationship with me has become closer and closer. Children are uneasy when they make mistakes. Proper silence of parents can not only give children enough time to reflect, but also punish children for this wrong behavior.
In the process of educating children later, I found that silent education is more and more a good way.
Choosing silence does not mean turning a blind eye to children and letting them go, but giving them hints all the time. In normal life, parents should first do what their children are asked to do. Hint and inspire children with silent behavior, so as to receive the effect of "having orders but not doing them".
Choosing silence can better reflect the majesty of parents. Parents should not let their children "fear" you, but let them "respect" you. When children are found frivolous or unruly, adopting a silent attitude can often make children feel that their parents have an awesome power, so they will consciously restrain their bad behavior.
Choosing silence can replace rude scolding and beating. When children make mistakes, the most common mistake parents make is to make a fool of themselves in public and not tell their children anything. This can easily hurt children's self-esteem and lead to children's resistance and disgust. Therefore, sometimes using silence instead of direct criticism and reprimand to children can achieve the expected educational purpose.
When children make mistakes, proper criticism and education are necessary. When children lack self-confidence, we must give them some encouragement and support.
I remember once my son came home from school, listless, like a sunburned eggplant. After asking, I realized that the teacher taught the child to draw small fish, but he didn't draw well. I quickly comforted him. It doesn't matter if it's not well drawn. Just draw well next time. My son is still unhappy. He pursed his lips and said gloomily, "But the children all call me stupid." I'm not in a hurry to persuade my son. My husband and I discussed it quietly, and after dinner, we told our son about the stupid things we did when we were children. I told my son that when my father was in kindergarten, he often couldn't remember what the teacher told him and often wore the wrong clothes. The husband went on to say that out of curiosity, he once put his grandfather's watch into the water. As a result, the watch could no longer walk ... The son listened with relish and kept shouting "What a fool!" . Gradually, my son's little face turned into a flower and said, "Oh, how come everyone is a' stupid' child!" I pulled him into my arms and said softly, "No one is born a child prodigy, and anyone can be a' stupid' child. Don't be afraid that others will say that you are stupid, as long as you study more, you will make progress! " The son nodded and played happily.
Chapter 5: Experience in educating children: Knowing the rules will make you grateful. China has attached great importance to family education and family style since ancient times, and those famous families in history have benefited from this. The ancients have long known that family education determines the future of children, and family style determines the upbringing of children. Parents always want to give their children the best things, knowing that the best things are good upbringing and excellent personality. Because only with these can we truly be a good man and a good woman at home. Especially the following three points.
Know good and bad
Most people couldn't read or write before, but most people were reasonable. It is precisely because of the ancient family education and family style that they educate their children to be kind, diligent, dutiful and not humiliate their ancestors. This is the basic family style and the foundation of family education.
To put it bluntly, it is to teach children to know good and bad. Knowing the goodness of a child's nature will guide him to do good and refuse to do bad things. The good quality of children is slowly cultivated in this process. In the future, when children step into the society, these qualities can also play the role of fixing stars and guiding street lamps, so that children will not go astray and get due rewards from kindness.
Knowing what is good and what is bad is related to children's emotions and inner recognition, so the best way is to give them relevant edification from an early age, so that they can accept and recognize in a subtle life and internalize their own values.
Nowadays, many children are ungrateful and even do unnatural things. In the poor times of the past, when people followed the old adage, children dared not be ungrateful or hurt the world. That is, kneeling in front of the ancestral tablet and being beaten by the board. In the past, if children hurt small animals, parents would say or even beat them. Now a group of college students will abuse a kitten for excitement and watch the old cat cry and laugh. This deserves our deep reflection.
Know the rules
Mencius has a famous saying: No rules, no Fiona Fang. Rules are the guidelines for people's actions, and what is behind them is to make people understand. To teach children to understand the rules is to teach them to reason. Then children can know what to do and what not to do; Will do what should be done and stay away from what should not be done. So you can naturally do it correctly and stably in the future.
In Augmented Sages, it is said that strict father gave birth to a dutiful son, but the loving mother lost more. Han Feizi also said: Yan Fu's family is not easy to fight, and the loving mother is defeated (the family with strict parents has no fierce servants, and the loving mother who dotes on her children is easy to spoil the black sheep). It is of course right to educate children to advocate tolerance and love and guide them according to the situation. However, because children's characteristics-understanding ability and self-discipline ability are still relatively poor, this ancient strict family education method should be abandoned, but it is still worth learning. It is not advisable to beat and scold roughly, but it is good for teaching children to understand the rules.
Teaching children to understand the rules is mainly to clarify the rules and clarify rewards and punishments. If children's words and deeds conform to the rules, they should be praised and encouraged in time; When you break the rules, you should also criticize and punish. Parents have principles, and children can have awe of the rules. Besides, it is very important for parents to set an example for their children. Parents can't do it, and children are not convinced in their hearts. Parents do it, and children are likely to follow suit.
feel thankful
Gratitude, that is, gratitude for kindness, plays a very important role in China culture. The ancients said a lot about this, telling us why we should be grateful and the importance of gratitude.
The experience of educating children: you will be grateful if you know the rules.
"Sheep have the kindness of kneeling and nursing, while crows have the righteousness of feeding back", which means not forgetting the kindness of parents; "One day as a teacher, life as a father" means not forgetting the teacher's kindness; "A drop of water is rewarded with a spring", which means not forgetting the help of others; "Drinking water does not forget to dig wells, and predecessors planted trees to enjoy the cool", which means not forgetting the gratitude of predecessors ... A grateful heart can string together so many precious qualities, how can parents not plan for their children? The best way is to guide children in things and cultivate them in life, and accumulate over time.
Now that life is good, parents are afraid that their children will fall into their hands and be held in their mouths. Children's status at home can be described as "high status". The whole family is child-centered, and children are in a position of being loved since childhood. Over time, many children will take what they get from their parents and relatives for granted, so they only ask for it and don't know the return. They naturally don't want to care and thank others. Parents should be alert to this.
To sum up: The Warring States Policy says: Parents love their children and have a far-reaching influence. How to plan far-reaching We should teach them the most fundamental and important things in life as soon as possible. Knowing good and bad, knowing rules and being grateful are all great qualities and principles of being a man. Teaching children these things will definitely make their lives smoother and more stable.