Tang Guoqiang, a famous artist, said in the program "Star Fun Club" of Hebei Satellite TV that I don't want to forget my old friend. It's because I walk forward every day and meet more and more people. It is impossible to remember all the people and keep in touch with all the former friends.
With the development of modern science and technology, the communication between people has become more convenient than ever, but the real connection between people is constantly widening. In other words, what we used to say together can now spread thousands of miles away. Friends circle and friends circle bring hundreds of our friends together, and everyone's life seems to be paying attention to each other. We all live in the virtual world, but in reality we are more isolated than ever.
A question is raised here: How can we meet the needs of getting along with others without affecting independent thinking?
People are sometimes "isolated"
In the traditional concept of our country, gregarious is very important. If a person is unsociable, he will be regarded as "sick" and will be further excluded and isolated. Gregarious is also a criterion for judging right and wrong. For example, if everyone does this, but you prefer the other way, you must be wrong. It is an official tradition for everyone to give gifts to their superiors on holidays. You think you can do your job well, that's your fault. For example, the unspoken rule in business is to get kickbacks through relationships. If you act impartially and treat others equally, it's your fault. You will be considered ignorant and inappropriate. As a result, they are isolated and persecuted.
In an environment where most people pursue vulgarity, it is undoubtedly the "safest" way to keep vulgarity. Acting according to official rules is called pretending to be sick. This is a typical "bad money drives out good money" behavior. The common way of doing things in China society is to act according to the standards set by the state on the surface, but actually to operate according to the hidden rules. It is the most economical and safe way for individuals to join most people. Either, stick to the relevant national policies and regulations, be isolated and excluded.
Low-quality social life is a waste.
In college, there was a macho man with outstanding academic achievements. At least it is also the top university in China. There are not a few top candidates in the college entrance examination and the Olympic champion in all provinces of the school, and the outstanding feature of this macho man is that he can get the first place in almost all exams regardless of arts and sciences.
At first, I felt that Brother Meng was somewhat withdrawn and seldom communicated with other students:
Incredibly, he goes out to exercise after five o'clock every day. After exercise, I went to the self-study class, spent the whole night in the school classroom, and when I came back at night, everyone basically slept. Four-year-old classmates rarely see him except for necessary activities.
Then one thing changed my view. On that occasion, after passing through the school auditorium, there was a heated debate inside. Moreover, I think that "withdrawn and not good at words" Meng Ge talks a lot on the court and seems to be the main force of the debate team.
Later, I consciously studied with Brother Meng, only to find that his social activities were far more exciting than I expected.
He is not only the main member of the school debate team, but also the backbone member of the drama troupe. At that time, the school organized a "Challenge Cup" competition with the theme of scientific and technological entrepreneurship every year. Meng Gelian won a first prize and a second prize, and there are countless friends in the school geek circle.
At the same time, what are I and many other students busy with? Either you are addicted to online novels, or you stay up late playing Blizzard's "Big Pineapple" game. The topic discussed every day is nothing more than which teacher can get cut class and which elective course is easy to get high marks.
Brother Meng is not without socializing, but the social circle is too far away from us. He concentrates all his time on what he thinks is valuable, but in our opinion, he is "withdrawn".
On the other hand, most people waste their time on low-quality and ineffective social interaction. After all, they still need to find a sense of security in the group without thinking clearly about what they should pursue.
Successful people are relatively lonely.
I saw a sentence on social media, "How ordinary it is for you to be so gregarious", and I deeply agree. R> Everyone has heard the story of the race between the tortoise and the rabbit since childhood, but the real world is actually much more cruel than the story: in our world, the tortoise may not stop, but the rabbit is running rather than sleeping. What reason do we have to slack off?
As far as I can see, anyone who can take root and develop in a field will cherish time like gold and wish for 48 hours a day.
The farther you run, the rarer your peers are. So winners are often lonely, not because they don't need companions, but because we are left behind and he never stops.
The existence of any social behavior is based on the common topics and interests of both sides. When two people's concerns are not on the same channel at all, any effort to "pretend that we know each other well" is futile.
A friend has worked hard in the city for many years, and most of his best friends used to stay in small counties for development. At first, he went back several times a year to meet his best friend. Slowly, the number of times to go back is getting less and less. I may not be able to go back for several years.
Talking about this matter, my friend also gave a wry smile.
He said, actually, I miss the past very much. At that time, everyone was not sensible. Perhaps the biggest dream is to find a stable job and have a happy family.
But now every time my best friend talks about the shortage of parents, salary and children's education, he is still single and tries to make the enterprise a new third board.
He is not interested in the topics discussed by his girlfriends, and he is particularly embarrassed every time because his girlfriends don't understand the topics he cares about.
Socialization brings us a sense of belonging, a sense of identity, and an indispensable pleasure for people to live in this world.
At the same time, socializing takes a lot of time and energy, and the effect may not be as you wish. There are also high-quality and low-quality social interaction.
Some people's career and social interaction are inseparable, so the circle is the basis of their survival and development. But for most people, socialization and growth are contradictory. The more time you spend here, the less time you spend there.
Therefore, it is necessary to leave the group properly to ensure Excellence. This multiple-choice question is not difficult to do after everyone understands it.