A gentleman will not change his character even if he is cornered. You can compare it with Wen Tianxiang. And once the villain comes to suffering, he ignores it, such as traitors.
How did Confucius face setbacks, where did he fall and where did he stand up? Of course, he really didn't know what he was thinking.
How to teach a child to get up by himself in the face of setbacks and falls, and give him more common short stories that he can understand. What will he do in such a situation?
How do children face setbacks? First of all, don't impose success on children. Learn to let children lose at the starting line. If only success will make children's hearts easily frustrated, then learn not to put pressure on children and give them a relaxed and happy feeling.
How to educate children to face setbacks I remember a story about the great Scottish king Robert. Bruce followed the example of spiders and returned to his own kingdom. The poor king was expelled by the hateful traitor. He has been trying to take back his kingdom. He fought many wars, but he was defeated again and again. Finally, he began to think that all this was in vain. He wants to give up and stop fighting. Just then, one morning, he woke up, lay in bed and saw a spider weaving a web. This spider is about to drag a silk from one end of the room to the other. It tried twelve times and failed twelve times. Twelve times, fell to the ground. Twelve times, it got up and tried again. It refused to give up, but persisted. Thirteenth time, finally succeeded. When the king saw all this, he said to himself, "why don't I keep trying to get back to my kingdom?" Although I have failed so many times, who can say that I can't succeed in the end? " He pulled himself together, tried again, and finally defeated his enemy, succeeded and ruled his kingdom again. People in this life, how can you not encounter setbacks! In the face of setbacks, different people will choose different attitudes and deal with them in different ways, which will lead to different results. Frustration refers to the tension and emotional reaction caused by the fact that individuals are hindered from carrying out purposeful activities driven by motivation, resulting in their motivation not being released normally. As young people, it seems that they often encounter more and more specific setbacks, which may be related to the fact that young people's emotions are relatively easy to fluctuate and face more life changes and choices. But no matter what the reason, young people are required to strengthen their understanding of setbacks and improve their ability to resist setbacks. Nowadays, the failure of the college entrance examination brings deep pain to many families every year, and even makes some young people end their teenage life; The increasing employment pressure of college students has brought them heavy psychological pressure, and repeated job-hunting failures have caused many people to have serious psychological diseases. If the above two problems are recognized as great setbacks, such as lovelorn, poor communication, bad relationship between teachers and students, and poor academic performance, if they become very serious social problems, people will feel that something needs to be done. To solve this problem, we must first understand the root cause of modern people's frustration, that is, they have received too little education and training since childhood and are not fully prepared for related concepts. Once they encounter a little trouble, they will have a strong sense of frustration. Young people living in peacetime, especially the one-child generation, have been carefully cared for since childhood, and almost all their requirements will be easily met. They lack the spirit of hardship and social experience. On the one hand, they are easy to hit a wall in real life. On the other hand, they are easy to overreact to the difficulties and troubles they encounter, and they are also most likely to lose their motivation to move forward and even their confidence in life after encountering setbacks. In the most extreme cases, individuals will also have a strong revenge on society and embark on the road of crime. Once the reasons are clear, we should take corresponding measures from the perspective of society and ourselves to help children and parents solve this problem. First, we should cultivate people's endurance and anti-frustration ability from an early age, not just flowers in the greenhouse. In addition to the important responsibility of the school, the role of the family is particularly important. The reason for this is that after the implementation of the one-child policy, every family dotes too much on the only child, so that the child is completely separated from hardships and hardships in the process of growing up and loses a good opportunity to cultivate the spirit of suffering and the ability to resist setbacks. These children who lack a minimum understanding of the complexity of society and the hardships of life are called little emperors. After they entered the society, it is strange that there is no problem. At this point, we should learn from our eastern neighbor Japan. Japanese children, in the cold winter, don't wrap up like children in China, but wear thin clothes and are even asked to play barefoot in the snow. This is naturally not because Japanese children's families can't afford clothes, but because of this, they have cultivated the spirit of hard work and hard work. Education in western countries attaches great importance to self-reliance, which is also an important reason why our education is very lacking, which eventually leads to poor psychological endurance and strong frustration among modern young people. When a toddler suddenly falls down, foreign parents will encourage the child to stand up bravely without paying too much attention to the child's crying. In fact, foreign children seldom cry after falling, because they know very well that crying is useless. Such children grow up and know that everything depends on themselves. Just like the United States, 18 years old will be independent. One of the most important reasons is that these children have made independent psychological and physical preparations. Let's take a look at the reaction of domestic parents to this situation. Most of them will rush to pick up the child almost at the same time when the child is crying. After confirming that there is no serious problem, I will try to persuade. At the same time, according to the scapegoat they found-or someone or something that may not be the real reason for the child's fall-hit them a few times to comfort the child, but I don't know that this has laid the foundation for the child's lack of endurance, being good at evading responsibility and being unable to stand on his own feet. Kepler, a German astronomer, was troubled since he was a child. He came to the earth early in his mother's womb for only seven months. Later, smallpox made him pockmarked, and scarlet fever damaged his eyes, resulting in a semi-disabled hand. However, with his tenacious character, he studied hard and his academic performance was far ahead of his peers. Later, because my father was in debt and lost the opportunity to study, I taught myself astronomy. In his later years, he experienced a series of blows, such as illness, the death of his tutor and his wife, but he still did not stop his astronomical research, and finally discovered the three laws of celestial movement at the age of 59. He turned all his misfortunes into a driving force to push himself forward, won the laurel of science with amazing perseverance and became a "legislator of the sky". Frustration plays an important role in helping students grow up quickly. "Jade must be cut to make a tool", everyone's growth process is a process of constantly adapting to social requirements, and adaptation is to learn to adjust their motivation, pursuit and behavior. When a person is born, he is like a blank sheet of paper. He has no view of right and wrong and lacks the corresponding ability to cope with difficulties. It is through constant setbacks, mistakes and hardships that we can finally learn to take appropriate actions in different environments, different times, different objects and different normative conditions. Today's children have been living in a caring and caring environment for a long time. Therefore, they have no profound experience of all kinds of difficulties, their mental preparation and ability to bear setbacks are seriously insufficient, and they have no strong will. Once they encounter setbacks, they are easily defeated completely. In fact, the more parents train their children to overcome setbacks in life and study, the more they will gain a good attitude and further establish their ability to bear setbacks. Psychologists compare minor setbacks to "spiritual supplement", that is to say, every time a child overcomes a setback, it adds strength and spiritual wealth to himself to better face setbacks. First, be more sure and encourage children. When children encounter setbacks, parents should care and encourage them in time and give them comfort, encouragement and necessary help, so that children will not feel lonely and helpless. At this time, parents should try to avoid negative comments, such as "Don't try again, it's useless to try again", "Don't do it if you can't do it well" and "Why are you so stupid, others have already done it", which will only strengthen children's self-confidence and sense of failure. Parents may wish to adopt some positive comments. For example, "although you didn't succeed, I want to praise you because you have the courage to try, which is good." "You have to believe in yourself. Mom and Dad believe that you can do it. " Doing so will make children realize that their efforts are affirmed and praised, and they don't have to be afraid of failure at all, so they gradually learn to bear and cope with all kinds of difficulties and setbacks. Second, cultivate children's correct attitude towards setbacks. As children, their attitudes towards people and things around them are often unstable and easily influenced by emotions and other factors. When we encounter difficulties and failures, we often have negative emotions and can't treat failures and setbacks with a correct attitude. At this time, parents should tell their children in time that "failure is not terrible, as long as you are brave, you will do well" and "learn from failure and see what to do next time". Parents should consciously take their children's failure as an educational opportunity to guide them to regain their courage and try again boldly and confidently, and at the same time educate them to face difficulties and setbacks directly and improve their ability to overcome difficulties and resist setbacks. Third, provide children with opportunities for exercise. Parents should raise awareness, change their original attitude towards parenting, and let their children go out of the "protective circle" of adults and let go of their hands and feet. Don't be afraid of children falling, bruised, hungry and tired, and encourage children to get up by themselves when they fall; For children who are picky eaters, partial eclipse and anorexia, it doesn't hurt to starve him for a meal or two. Let children do their own things, and parents should not help them solve problems that they can solve. For example, they should have their own toys and wear their own clothes and pants. In family life, they should arrange their children to do what they can, and never solve all the difficulties in their growth and remove the obstacles to their progress. Fourth, let the children get a little criticism appropriately. Some parents always fear that their children will be wronged. Even if their children do something wrong, they never say anything wrong. Over time, children have developed a bad habit of only listening to praise and not accepting criticism. When they are criticized by teachers and peers at school, there will be incidents of truancy, truancy and conflicts with their peers. Therefore, parents should make their children realize that everyone has shortcomings and they don't know them, but others can easily find them. Only when others criticize them can they know where they are wrong. Others point out that their shortcomings are not to hate themselves, but to help and care for themselves, so that children can understand that shortcomings are not terrible, and correcting them is a good boy. 5. Let the children experience a little failure. Some parents don't want to see their children fail. In chess, cards, games and competitions, they always try their best to let their children win, which is not good for their growth. In fact, as parents, sometimes it is not a bad thing for children to experience a little failure, and they can take the opportunity to cultivate their courage to overcome difficulties. Sixth, frustration education should vary from person to person. The same frustration has different psychological reactions to different children. Therefore, parents should carry out frustration education according to their children's personality. If their children have high self-esteem and love face, they are prone to frustration when they encounter setbacks. Parents of such children should not complain and criticize too much, but should stop and encourage more; Children with low self-esteem lack confidence in their abilities. Parents should not criticize too much, but comfort more. They should be good at discovering their own strengths, creating opportunities for success and enhancing their self-confidence. Secondly, we should educate children according to their abilities. When children with strong abilities encounter setbacks, parents should give priority to inspiration, let them find out the reasons for setbacks and let them solve problems. It is necessary to help children with weak ability to set realistic goals, make plans from low to high and from easy to difficult, so that children can constantly see their progress and gradually form the ability to overcome difficulties and setbacks.
How to face setbacks through The Analects of Confucius? In the usual study, we should humbly ask teachers and elders, and also ask everyone who looks less knowledgeable than ourselves. Don't be ashamed to do so. Learning is a way to increase knowledge and improve moral cultivation, not a measure of evaluating ability, nor a tool to pursue fame and fortune. The purpose of ancient scholars' reading is to cultivate self-cultivation, while the purpose of modern scholars' reading is to decorate themselves with knowledge in order to gain fame and fortune. It can be seen that Confucianism, represented by Confucius, advocates learning for oneself and pursuing moral self-improvement.
If you are satisfied, please click Adopt in the lower left corner. Thank you. If you are not satisfied, please ask. Your support is my motivation.