Ten kinds of scientific and intelligent punishment education methods, parents must not ignore their children's mental health, children can make some small punishments when they make mistakes, education is a long process, and then I will show you ten kinds of scientific and intelligent punishment education methods.
Ten scientific and wise methods of punishment education 1 1, persuasion
Case: quarreling with peers and grabbing toys ...
Way: first put down the work at hand, go to the child's side and let the child know that you are paying attention and paying attention; Then ask the children about the causes of disputes and quarrels, and listen to their thoughts patiently; Instilling children with beating, smashing and looting is an incorrect behavior and concept, requiring children to learn to say "please, thank you, I'm sorry".
Suggestion: don't suppress or threaten children loudly; Don't directly pull the child away and then yell at the child; Avoid hurting children's self-esteem between words.
Step 2 clap your hands
Case: fighting, littering ...
Methods: Make a paper stick with newspaper, which can be covered with a layer of paper. Give it a name, such as the warning stick and the Chen family stick. Put it in a fixed place as a warning.
Suggestion: make it when you are in a good mood and discuss with your child the reasons for making the warning stick; When punishing a child, let him say where he is wrong first; Remind the reasons for punishment; Pay attention to safety, the main parts to be hit are palms and hips, and other parts should be avoided.
Step 3 punish sitting
Case: Noisy. ...
Way: put a mat or chair in the restricted area and take a name; Prepare an alarm clock or clock to record the punishment time.
Suggestion: the punishment place should not be directly facing the gate or in an obvious place; Limit the punishment time, or let the children talk about how long the punishment will last; After the punishment, let the child tell the reason why he was punished today.
Step 4 help with housework
Case: scribbling, littering, toys ...
Methods: Prepare a rag, broom, washbasin and other cleaning appliances, so that children can learn to clean up and form a neat habit.
Suggestion: Parents should always pay attention to the safety of their children; Younger children can be led by their parents to do housework; Cultivate children to develop the habit of returning things to their original owners; While helping with housework, ask the children what they have learned.
Step 5 paint
Case: Like swearing, like arresting people, like kicking people, like biting people.
Mode: according to the family situation, put a small table in a fixed place (this punishment table is best not to be a desk, dining table, guest table, etc. Those used at ordinary times, lest children be afraid when they use these tables in the future); Prepare an album and brushes with different colors, let the children draw and write down their own ideas.
Suggestion: when a child is injured, deal with the injured part first and then punish it; Let the children draw the time when things happened and what they did wrong; Adults should control their emotions first. From children's paintings, we can know that children will make mistakes. This is art therapy and won't hurt children's self-esteem.
6. As punishment
Case: jump from a height on purpose and run and jump in the car.
Methods: Plan a forbidden area with a name at home, which is mainly located against the wall and not facing the gate; Spread a mat on the ground; Prepare a clock or alarm clock to record the punishment for children.
Suggestion: the punishment place should not be too obvious or face the door, so as not to hurt the child's self-esteem; Tell the child that the punishment time should not be too long, otherwise it will make the child more naughty and counterproductive; Determine the height of the mat according to the height of the child; After the punishment, ask the child why he was punished, and let the child know why he did something wrong.
7. Reading and writing
Case: violent tendencies, lying, shoplifting. ...
Mode: choose a fixed penalty area to lay a mat or put a small table; Put pencils, drawing paper, colored pens, story books and colored paper into the restricted area. Let children write or read books first to resolve their anger.
Suggestion: when you can't put down your work immediately, you can let your child go to the restricted area to reflect; Don't condemn children's faults, first isolate them from each other and ease their emotions; After the mood is calm, ask the child the motive for making a mistake.
8. Confiscate what you love
Case: noisy, littering, not accepting toys. ...
Methods: Confiscate the children's littered articles as punishment.
Suggestion: first put down the work at hand and go to the child's side to let the child know that the mother is paying attention and paying attention; Tell the children to put away the littered things and don't make any noise, or they will be punished; Let the child tell why he made a mistake and why he was angry with his mother.
9. beans
Case: In view of impatience, littering.
Methods: prepare a box and plate with red and green beads and several plastic cans; Let the children put the beads of various colors in the correct position on the punishment table.
Suggestion: If the child is rebellious, modify it according to the situation and then punish it. This purpose is to train children to form the habit of putting things back; Can train hand-eye coordination and resolution; After finishing, let the child know the reason for being punished.
10, some rights and requirements are prohibited.
Case: I don't like brushing my teeth, being picky about food and throwing things around. ...
Way: temporarily forbid children to touch things they love to eat and play as punishment.
Suggestion: don't talk loudly to children in a threatening or angry way; Let the children know the reasons for prohibiting these rights, and then restore their rights after they behave well.
Matters needing attention when implementing punishment:
The key: grasp principles and control emotions.
In addition, when parents punish their children, they should pay attention to some things to avoid leaving bad sequelae.
1, safety issues, the material of the penalty items should be avoided to be too hard;
2. Control your emotional response;
3. The place of punishment should be chosen in an inconspicuous place that is not facing the gate, so as not to hurt the child's self-esteem;
4. Pay attention to words and tone, and don't talk to children with threats or intimidation;
5. The content of punishment needs to be thoroughly implemented, intolerant and compromised;
6. After the punishment, appease the child and let him know the care and love of his parents.
In short, the purpose of punishment is to get better. The object of punishment is the mistakes made by children, and it should not slander and despise the dignity of children, let alone damage the dignity of children. Multiplication is a rational behavior. Educators should convince people by reasoning, and should not rashly impose punishment when things are unclear and children simply don't understand.
Let the children gradually realize that both sides are jointly punishing a mistake. The wrong person is the relationship between the part and the whole, and the punished person is essentially good and recognized. Therefore, in the face of children's virginity and immaturity, punishment should be accompanied by encouragement, love and trust.
It should be noted that punishment is a double-edged sword. If used properly, it can play an educational role, and if used improperly, it will have a negative effect. One of the keys to the correct use of punishment is to face up to the purpose and function of punishment, respect children's personality and safeguard children's rights in the process of punishment. But at the same time, we should also strictly ask them to face up to their mistakes and turn over a new leaf.
Ten scientific and wise methods of punishment education II. The correct way to punish and educate children.
1. If a child makes a mistake, whether intentionally or unintentionally, he will be punished.
For example, the child accidentally broke the cup. Although he didn't mean to, he should be told that it was his fault. Although he didn't anticipate the consequences of his actions, he apologized for it. If he is unintentional and dares to admit his mistake, his parents will believe him.
2. The "sentencing" of punishment should be appropriate.
The purpose of punishing children is for the benign transformation of children, and the "sentencing" of punishment must conform to the behavior of children. Excessive punishment is easy to cause children's confrontational emotions, which is not enough for children to take warning. Therefore, punishing children should be based on the principle of achieving their goals. We should neither underestimate nor make a mountain out of a molehill and abuse "punishment". Locke, a great educator, said: "When children should be punished for the first time, they should not stop until they have completely achieved their goals;" And it will gradually increase. "The reason is very intriguing.
3, according to the provisions of punishment.
Parents should negotiate with their children to formulate a reward and punishment rule to let them know what punishment they will get after making mistakes. In this way, children will concentrate on weekdays, thus reducing the probability of making mistakes. When a child makes a mistake, parents should pay attention to adjusting their emotions and don't punish the child at will because of impulsiveness. If children make the same mistakes in the future, they should be punished as before according to the rules, so that parents can establish prestige in their children's hearts.
4, indicating that the "way out" is unambiguous.
Punishing children should not give up halfway, but should require the punished children to make specific corrections before stopping. Parents should have a clear attitude and clearly tell their children what to do, what requirements or standards they should meet, or what the consequences will be. If the child has the habit of littering and doesn't like to clean up, parents should let the child clean up his things and toys when punishing the child; Make it clear that you must do it well, or you will be punished again. Parents must not be vague or even let their children "think for themselves". Parents don't give a "way out", and children have no goal to correct their mistakes, and the effect is not obvious.
5. Punishment and reward are unacceptable.
Parents should educate their children to cooperate with each other, with the same attitude and clear rewards and punishments. When awarding prizes, we should seriously or even solemnly award prizes, so that children can truly appreciate the joy of winning prizes; Punishment should also be clear-cut and decisive, so that they can know where they are wrong. Only in this way can we cultivate children's character of distinguishing right from wrong and correcting mistakes when they know them. If one of the parents thinks that the child has been wronged after punishment, and then comforts him, it will make the punishment invalid. Practice has proved that the vicious circle of punishment-reward-punishment will make children have cognitive bias and wrongly link mistakes with rewards, thus making punishment invalid.
6. Don't hesitate to punish in time.
The effect of punishment partly comes from conditioned reflex, and the shorter the interval between conditioned stimulus and unconditional stimulus, the better the effect. Therefore, once parents find that their children have made mistakes, they should punish them immediately as long as the situation permits; If the situation at that time (such as the presence of guests or in public places) does not allow immediate response, conditions should be created in time afterwards to let the child return to the original similar situation as much as possible. Parents and children should review and summarize the words and deeds at that time together, make him realize the wrong behavior at that time and explicitly ask him to correct it.
7, the most taboo sarcasm
Parents punish their children to avoid sarcasm, and they can't accuse and abuse them with vicious language just because they believe that "the child was born to me and raised by me". Practice has proved that sarcastic and abusive language has gone beyond the acceptable range of children's reason and will hurt children's self-esteem. Therefore, parents should bear in mind that the purpose of punishing children is to help them correct their mistakes, not to stimulate the most sensitive corner of their hearts-self-esteem. Some parents punish their children for their uncivilized language and foul language, but at the same time, they also "export foul language", which makes the effect of training and teaching greatly reduced or even unconvincing.
8. Stop nagging.
Some parents teach their children to like endless things, and sometimes ask their children, "Did you hear what I said?" The child is in awe of his parents' majesty. In order to avoid the pain of flesh and blood, he had no choice but to say "I heard". In fact, he may not have listened to anything, even his left and right ears, but he didn't listen at all. The reason why children say they know is just to comply with parents' wishes and to end the reprimand early. Therefore, the next time a child makes the same mistake again, parents will feel "heartbroken" and immediately say that the child "doesn't take my words seriously", and the left ear goes in and the right ear goes out, saying that the child is "disobedient". In fact, this is because parents talk too much, so that children can't distinguish between primary and secondary, and don't know which sentence to listen to; Moreover, frequent nagging will also lead to children's deafness, which will have a "zero response" to parents' words in educational psychology, making training and teaching ineffective. Therefore, parents must remember to get rid of nagging when educating their children, and do everything from point to face (YIqiG. Cn).
9, talk about things, don't be implicated.
From the point of view of the punished person, children hate their parents' "dumping pickles" most, and once it happens, they will turn over old scores. Many parents do not understand this truth. When they teach their children, they can't forget to ramble, drag their feet, tell them all kinds of problems, or even tell them nothing until they forget the theme of this training. What does the child think? I'm not right at all anyway. My parents can't see the achievements I have made and the shortcomings I have corrected. I felt that I was born to be trained and punished, and I lost confidence in correcting my mistakes, so I went my own way. The educational effect can be imagined. Therefore, parents must educate and punish their children one by one, talk about the matter, don't get involved, and don't turn over old scores.
10, ex post facto reasoning is essential.
The relationship between teaching and being taught is the relationship between parents and children, but educating children still needs to convince people by reasoning. Punishment is only a means, not an end. Therefore, it is necessary to reason with the child in time after the punishment, otherwise the child will remain the same after enduring the punishment. Therefore, after punishing the child, parents should let him understand why he was punished, know the reasons for making mistakes, and clearly understand the consequences of making mistakes. Punishment is just a bad conditional stimulus, and its effect is short-term and not lasting. The fact that a punished child corrects his mistake does not mean that he has come to his senses, and there is no guarantee that he will not commit it again. Therefore, it is the key to eradicate mistakes to let children know the reason why they are punished, and reasoning is an indispensable and important step after punishing children.