Physically:

Maturity of primary sexual characteristics: the characteristics of reproductive structure, men have testicles and girls have ovaries.

The appearance of secondary sexual characteristics: the height and weight increase rapidly; Adam's apple, vocal cords, breasts, body shape, etc. Rapid development; Menarche and nocturnal emission occur; Sex hormone surge.

Psychological aspects:

The gender difference is obvious; Strong sexual curiosity; Prominent sexual impulse; Sexual attraction is more dominant; Sexual masturbation is more common; Sexual dreams and fantasies are very common.

Because of the lack of sex education, in the eyes of many teenagers, "sex" is "dirty", low-level, obscene, disgusting and unspeakable. When TA is swept away by sudden physical changes, sexual curiosity and sexual impulse, it is often uncomfortable and confused.

When there are behaviors and thoughts related to "sex", teenagers are excited and novel, but they also easily become anxious, and then fall into self-doubt, self-denial and criticism, as well as strong sexual repression. ...

In fact, for parents, the most challenging problem is that my children and I have the same view on "sex", and I also have the problem of TA.

In the process of growing up, most parents have not received systematic and scientific sex education. In the traditional concept, "sex" is often low-level and obscene, so we are used to talking about the color change of "sex", self-criticizing "superego" and habitually suppressing.

Generation after generation, depressed parents will naturally educate depressed children. We are all good at giving what we have to our children.

Frustration, conflict and depression in the process of sexual psychological development in childhood and early years will affect the individual's mood, self-awareness, intimate relationship in marriage and the quality of sexual life after marriage, and may also lead to sexual psychological obstacles. Therefore, scientific and systematic sex education should be an indispensable part of every child's growth.

If you want to guide and help children, you must first equip yourself. Adjust the attitude towards "sex" and treat sexual fantasies, dreams and masturbation rationally.

As the curiosity about "sex" increases, sexual fantasies also appear. The content of sexual fantasy can be bizarre or people or things that exist in real life.

In the eyes of many people, sexual fantasy is a manifestation of unhealthy thoughts and low morality, so it will be denied, criticized and suppressed. But in fact, sexual fantasy is a natural behavior that exists from adolescence to old age. Almost everyone has different levels and different contents of sexual fantasies in his mind.

We should give positive and correct guidance to the problem of "daydreaming" that germinates in the process of adolescent sexual development. Intimidation and accusation will only bring unnecessary mental stress, which is counterproductive.

Sexual fantasies will not cause any harm, and even have certain positive significance. Sexual fantasy is the safety valve of teenagers' sexual pressure, which has the functions of compensation and catharsis, and can meet psychological needs to a certain extent, calm and soothe psychological conflicts.

Of course, there is a limit to everything. If teenagers indulge in sexual fantasies all day, it will easily affect their study and normal interpersonal communication. Therefore, you can guide and accompany your child to make positive self-regulation. Learning with goals and a sense of accomplishment, rich and wonderful entertainment and high-quality interpersonal relationships all help to divert attention and gain inner sense of value and satisfaction.

Similar to sexual fantasy is sexual dream. Many children are puzzled: "I once dreamed of a thrilling scene, and I actually had close contact with other people." Sometimes this person is a stranger, sometimes even my classmates, friends and relatives. Sometimes there are violent behaviors and abnormal behaviors in photos. This dream can make me very ashamed ... "

Dreams are the expression of subconscious wishes. When a person reaches sexual maturity and can't get sexual satisfaction, he will often show it in the form of sexual dreams and get certain satisfaction. This is what we often call "thinking day and night".

Tell children that sexual dreams are part of healthy growth. No matter what dreams you have, they are within the normal range and have nothing to do with moral quality.

Under the influence of sex hormones and teenagers' curiosity about their bodies, sometimes TA may involuntarily want to explore and fiddle with her reproductive organs, which is what we often call masturbation, commonly known as masturbation. Masturbation is a common phenomenon in adolescence.

There are many comments about masturbation on the Internet, such as: "Masturbation is an immoral and terrible behavior" and "Masturbation affects health"? These remarks can easily make teenagers fall into anxiety and worry.

Actually, masturbation is not terrible. What is terrible is people's attitude towards masturbation. According to a survey in Cognitive Sexology, 92% of men and 58% of women have masturbated.

You can tell your child gently and treat it with a normal heart. Moderate, appropriate and timely sexual masturbation does not care about morality. It is a normal activity to meet one's physiological needs, and will not cause harm to body and mind. Of course, masturbation should also be based on health, safety and privacy.

Sex is a part of our life, which accompanies each of us all our lives. Therefore, when adolescent children have sexual impulses and meet their physiological needs and vent their sexual pressure in an appropriate, moderate and safe way, you can tell TA generously and naturally: these are normal! Let children know, feel and understand with a positive and beautiful attitude.