"Without self-education, there is no real education". For our parents in China, before educating their children, the most important thing is to educate themselves and change their minds. In the process of educating children, most of our parents in China either coax or beat and scold. Otherwise, they will move out of their poor childhood experiences and tirelessly instill in their children the truth of getting something for nothing, so as to gain their "sympathy" and influence their children. But often what our parents see is not the result we expect. Children are either used to being coaxed by us, or because there are problems in our minds, such as "a dutiful son is born under a stick" and "no one can beat a talented person". Meeting your parents is like avoiding a tiger that eats people. When we tried to tell the story of childhood sufferings, they were bored in every way, and even covered their ears to escape from our sight. Therefore, when our parents in China educate their children, I think the biggest misunderstanding is that they want to educate others and have not learned to educate themselves first. If they want to change their children, let's change our ideas first.
"Without mutual communication, there is no real education". Education is a career that affects life with life. Without communication, there will be no communication, and without communication, it will be difficult for our education to achieve the expected goals. Therefore, when the child needs us to be a listener, all we do is to be a listener quietly, listen carefully to the child, don't interrupt him casually, and pay attention to the highlights of his speech, feel his emotions, hold his hand from time to time, smile knowingly, or nod. And use some body language to make children feel that we are serious and attach importance to him. Then, when the child has finished speaking, first stabilize his emotions, and then reasonably answer some questions in the child's words with a peaceful and positive attitude. And be careful not to compare your children too much with others under any circumstances. As long as he makes a little progress, you should immediately affirm him, praise him with appreciative eyes and encouraging tone, and make him feel that he has advantages. If you do this, it will not be far from our goal.
Be the child's spiritual backing, instructor and psychologist. People often say that "parents are children's first teachers", but in fact they are children's lifelong teachers. People also say that "the family is a child's first school", but in fact, the family is a child's lifelong school. Our parents should take guiding and educating their children to "learn to be a man" as the primary task of family education. Before educating children, we must first educate ourselves. If you want to change your children, you must first change yourself. We should be the spiritual support of children, teachers and psychologists. Because we can quit any job at any time in our career, but we can't just quit our parents' job, because it is a responsibility, an obligation, and the most proud "job" in our life.