How to cultivate an excellent child?
When a child is very young, parents should constantly guide him to develop his own independent personality. People say that children will form an independent personality before they are three years old, or personality. If children are adversely affected by their parents' words and deeds, then this may accompany them for life. Therefore, first of all, parents should be strict with themselves and set up a good image in front of their children. Parents should also do the same for the basic moral and civilized qualities, so that children will be infected, become polite, reasonable and close to Zhu Zhechi.
Children are full of childish words. Parents should not blame their children for saying something irrelevant. They can tell him whether to say this sentence at the right time.
The imagination of children in China is not as good as that of foreign children. What is the reason? The main reason is that China's strict education method fetters children's imagination and stifles their budding or budding ideas in the cradle. Therefore, if you want your child to be extraordinary, you should pay attention to whether your behavior is guilty of strangulation, and encourage your child to express his own ideas and try according to his own ideas. He succeeded and made progress. Don't ignore it, praise him happily. No one doesn't like to listen to praise, which will inspire him to be more confident and enterprising. On the contrary, if he doesn't do well or fails, don't be angry, don't beat and scold the child, encourage him more and trust him more, so that his self-confidence will not be hit, and he will not be depressed and be content with mediocrity, because no one likes to be blamed, so that he will have a chance to try again.
In addition, it is necessary to cultivate children's brave, strong and decisive qualities, let them have more contact with society, and let them see the outside world and people from an early age, so that children will certainly not have any contact with people of the same age when they reach a certain age.
How to identify excellent children? 17 standards for excellent children:
1. Knowledge and skills: Have basic skills and knowledge, and can properly apply these skills to solve specific problems.
Second, concentration: not easily distracted, can concentrate on solving a problem and finding a solution in sufficient time.
Third, love learning: like to discuss problems and do homework.
Fourth, strong persistence: can take the assigned task as an important goal and work hard to complete it with eagerness.
5. Good reaction ability: I am easily inspired and can actively respond to adult suggestions and questions.
6. Rational curiosity: I get satisfaction from answering my own questions, and I can also ask new questions myself.
Seven. Meeting challenges: Willing to deal with problems, homework and arguments.
Eight. Sensitivity: alertness and observation beyond age.
Proficient in oral expression: good at using a large number of words correctly.
X. flexible thinking: able to form many concepts and be good at adapting to new and profound concepts.
Xi。 Flexible thinking: be able to get rid of your own prejudice in time and look at the problem from the correct point of view of others.
Originality: Being able to solve problems in novel or unusual ways.
XIII. Imagination: Being able to think independently and be imaginative.
14. Promotion ability: Being able to extend the established concept to a wider range of relationships and understand the established materials from the collective relationship.
Wide interests: I am interested in all kinds of knowledge and activities, such as art, drama, calligraphy, reading, mathematics, science, music, sports and social knowledge.
Caring for the group: willing to participate in various group activities, help others, get along well with others, and not criticize others.
Emotional stability: always maintain self-confidence, happiness and serenity, have a sense of humor, be able to adapt to daily changes and not be furious.
To cultivate excellent children, parents must know seven parenting concepts:
We always hope to cultivate an excellent child, but the cultivation of excellent children requires parents to have advanced parenting concepts. Learning these seven greater than numbers is the most basic knowledge for parents.
Feeling > truth
Now many parents can't forget their lofty status. They treat their children as children and are the objects that need to be controlled. Treating children as learning machines is an object that needs to be filled, but children will never be treated as people and need to be respected. They don't want to squat down and analyze, find and solve problems from the perspective of children. Apart from great expectations and heavy love, parents are simply arrogant and unreasonable. Instead, I reason with my children all day.
According to a survey, children hate their parents' nagging, "talking nonsense all the time", "saying everything a hundred times" and "talking all the time since kindergarten". What does this bring to children?
Man is an emotional animal. He only trusts his feelings. Psychologically speaking, it is not the truth that illuminates our growth, but the feeling that guides us forward, especially children.
When children say "I'm hungry", parents say "just eat, not hungry"; Children say "I'm hot" and parents say "it's not hot today". Parents will not only deny their children's feelings, but also bring more negative emotions to their children. When you jokingly ask, "Is mom or dad better?" The child looked at his parents doubtfully. His feeling is: Did father or mother do anything bad? When you say, "I spent so much money on your education, do you know?" The child's feeling is that all the money at home has been used by me to study, and my parents are very painful for this. Maybe I shouldn't study. When you say, "You did so badly in this exam, stop playing!" The child's feeling is: I can't learn well and play well, and I am a useless person. Parents quarrel every day, and the children feel that they don't love me. When parents invade their children's personal space at will, his feeling is the end of the world. There is nothing in this world that belongs to me, and I don't need to exist!
We all say that "a good parent-child relationship is better than a lot of education". Where did the bad parent-child relationship start? Don't respect children's feelings! It can be said that it is the first killer of parent-child imbalance! When a child's feelings are denied, that is, his emotional flow is blocked, his frustration, incomprehension of adults and panic about the world will be shrouded in his heart for a long time, not to mention learning. He has no interest in everything and is paralyzed like rickets. Parents take out their hearts and the children are indifferent!
It's not what you say, it's what the child hears, not what you do, but what the child feels. Pay attention to children's feelings, experience their feelings, affirm their feelings and express their feelings. You are a great parent!
Habit > prodigy
Our hope for miracles can be said to be branded in our genes. Man's hope for his miracle is a child prodigy, and the child prodigy complex of China people is particularly heavy! There are not many experiences in life that can be compared with the ups and downs of having children. If we can have a child prodigy, all this seems to be exempted. But in fact, the prodigy's family may encounter more misfortune, because stupidity itself is misfortune.
It can be said that parents who cultivate good habits are either cultivating bad habits. Many parents do everything for their children, from cooking, washing clothes and sending their children to school, to tying shoes, sharpening pencils and peeling eggshells. Children have no other opportunities to behave except to form the habit of dependence. Some parents want to cultivate their children's habits of previewing, reviewing, taking notes and doing homework on time, but their own culture is not high enough. Some parents ask too much, some parents preach blindly, and some parents have too many bad habits, which all lead to the failure of habit cultivation.
Habit means willpower, self-control and efficiency, and everything is natural: Excellence is a habit. If you really want your child to be excellent, turn the "child prodigy complex" into a "habit complex": you must help your child develop even a good habit!
Space > love
Lu Qin concluded that today's children have "three big and three small": the living space is getting bigger and bigger, and the growth space is getting smaller and smaller; The area of housing is getting bigger and bigger, and the volume of mind is getting smaller and smaller; The pressure of learning is increasing, and the motivation of learning is getting smaller and smaller. In the final analysis, "three small" is "one small": the narrow spiritual space.
People live in natural space, our growth is marching into space, we live in spiritual space, and our growth is the expansion of spiritual experience. The expansion of these two spaces can support a person's real and healthy growth.
It's the wind of passing on the family line from poverty. No parents love their children, but love brings a kind of tension between parents and children. There are disgruntled people, haters, haters and vendettas. Parent-child relationship in China is in two extreme stages, from fear in mouth to destruction at home. It is this reason that leads to mental malnutrition, mental withering, psychological premature death, leaving normal social life, and too many encounters in psychological counseling.
A person's growth is actually to expand space and deal with problems in space. If children don't get enough exercise in this respect, what can they rely on to fight for the future? The western proverb "Don't tell me how talented he is, just tell me where he has been" and "Read thousands of books and take the Wan Li Road" is the deepest understanding of space.
Space is also of great significance in personality psychology. How much of a person's quality comes from his spare-time activities, and his personality can be fully developed when he is free to control it. At the same time, space smells a person's safety range, and the problems it brings are passivity, restraint and control. This kind of person will only do mechanical things when he grows up, and he has a crazy desire to control his lover, hurting his family and the next generation. In a harmonious and relaxed family, children are adventurous, proactive and can get along with others, so it is easy to succeed and live a happy life.
Give your child a free space and you will become a great parent!
Morality > mark
When all educational skills and methods are put aside, it is found that the core is why people become human personality. Ability, expertise and knowledge mainly help us solve the problem of doing things, but not the problem of being a man. It is difficult for you to have the opportunity to do things, or it is difficult to do them for a long time. China's traditional education is "cultivate one's morality, keep one's family in order, keep one's family in order, govern the country and level the world." Adults bear the brunt, and everything starts with self-cultivation, which is the lowest goal in life.
The most important character on the individual side of personality is love of labor, and the most important character on the social side is sympathy, which leads to fraternity.
All bad morals begin with leisure and hate work. If parents are cultivating such people, then this family will be almost the same!
Status > ability
Intelligence is another deep-rooted belief in the hearts of many parents, so they make prodigies by hook or by crook. It is easier for people with high IQ to solve problems, but it does not mean that success is easier. How many things in the world can't be done without IQ 180? As long as the intelligence is normal, it is successful enough. Now many parents have realized that ability is ultimately important, so they attach importance to quality education and accept the concept of emotional intelligence. I don't need emotional intelligence here. IQ is because these two concepts are so professional that most people have a vague understanding of it, while "state" is more vivid and more important than ability.
The child's good state is more important than anything else, and one good is a hundred good. Some parents talk about their children. "If you want him to study, he will die. If he does something strange, he will live at once." Anyone who finds a state will live, and where he lives is the direction of his growth!
We are all eager to go back to childhood, isn't that the state of yearning for childhood? Please believe that anyone who can make achievements will always be childlike! Protecting children's innocence is the responsibility of parents!
Interest > knowledge
Due to the lack of the highest concept, some secondary things have become ingrained concepts, such as knowledge is power. Many parents have been fooled by the voice of this giant [Weibo], but it doesn't work now. Using knowledge is power, and knowledge will not automatically change their fate. Only by using knowledge well can they change their destiny. Many parents are still forcing their children to take the old road: reading, reading and dying.
The highest state of learning is that you want to learn, and there is only one way to achieve this state: interest. How to make good use of knowledge, the answer is interest.
What is interest? Interest is a natural curiosity, that is, curiosity. Knowledge is not important, but knowledge is important. Psychologically speaking, there is no one who doesn't like learning. The key is what to learn and how to learn. If you cultivate a thirst for knowledge, what else can you sing?
The way to seek knowledge is: interest-hobby-obsession. The task of parents is to help and guide children to this step, and children will have the advantage of standing out from the crowd. Advantage is the general trend of life. Without advantages, they are waiting for mediocrity.
Ideas > ways
The biggest drawback of the current family education is that no matter the elderly grandparents or many young parents, their educational thoughts are still in a state of swaying by feeling, showing authority or following the crowd and following the fashion. Most people never have a stable idea and method of educating children in their minds, and they often lack consistency and long-term views on children's education. This is the core of all problems in family education. What our parents lack most is a philosophy that can support their children's life. Basically, they all write articles about methods and skills, and only get a few broken things.