Every Tuesday and Friday, Galaxy Q&A (official account of Li Yinhe WeChat, ID:liyinhe6666) will be there!
Hello, Miss Li, I am a female college student of 19. Because I am introverted and have a lot of troubles in my life, I have never had a real love experience until now. Moreover, the university I am attending now is a normal university, and most of them are girls, which makes me more nervous when facing the opposite sex, not to mention the performance when facing the right object. This summer vacation, I met an art boy who is two years older than me. He is very handsome, but we only had a few words of communication at first, so I pretended to be calm. Later, due to the different driving time, there was not much overlap. Only through several conversations and other people's mouths, I learned that he is a very sunny boy, because he is an art student with beautiful handwriting, and there are many girls who pursue him, but he didn't have a girlfriend before (judging from his current state, he should not have a girlfriend yet). He is also in a normal university, and we are in different schools. What bothers me is that I like him very much now, largely because of his appearance, but it makes me feel superficial. At the same time, when I like a person, even a small advantage of him will be infinitely magnified in my heart. Indeed, I am very happy to see his photos and want to know more about him. Therefore, I have been hesitant to take the initiative to add his WeChat, but I am afraid that he will not add it. But I really want to know him. It's good to be friends, but is this an unnecessary social relationship? I'm confused now. I hope Miss Li Can can give me some advice. Thank you.
Li Yinhe: Because it is natural to like each other in appearance, there is no question of depth. There is no deep love at all, just like someone. You can take the initiative to establish contact, so that you can know him better (his friendship, his sexual orientation).
Miss Li, we have known each other since childhood. It's been over 12 years, and my family knows our correspondence, but I didn't know that with my growth, we developed into such a complicated relationship today. He is married with children, and there is a deep gap between husband and wife. He hasn't had sex for years. Morally supreme and conservative, I chose to keep such a close relationship with him (I haven't gone to bed yet) for more than a year. They are very happy together, and my heart is always suffering. He won't marry me and won't give me any promises. I don't want to touch me We are in different places at present. He was just being nice to me. When I am not at home to help me with my housework, he will give me money without paying me back. Of course, I never accept it. Every time I mention to him the essential question of what kind of role I am, he just keeps silent. It is also a marriageable age, and the marriage of friends around me makes my heart tremble. When he is busy, he doesn't even have a basic phone. When quarreling, no matter who is wrong, he just coaxes me and doesn't care much about my real thoughts. I volunteered to spend my precious time trying to fall in love with him, but he always failed. My inner pain is always there, and I don't want to hurt anyone. I want to sleep with him, but I know that one day we are doomed to separate, and then things will be more complicated and difficult to handle. Miss Li, should I continue to maintain it? Does he really like me? Thank you all the time.
Li Yinhe: He just used you to comfort his husband and wife. But since he won't marry you and doesn't really love you and care about you, I suggest you give him up and find another true love.
Hello, teacher Yinhe. My girlfriend (she is T and I am P) broke up with me the other day. At that moment, I was very sad and agreed. Later, I carefully recalled our little things and found that I still needed her very much. A few days later, I bought her favorite snacks to see her. She met me, too During the conversation, she said categorically that we can't. She was tired for five years. And she actually told me that she was having an affair (and slept with a woman, it is said), and they also talked. But I always thought she did it to forget me. I'm sure she still loves me. I told her that I had reflected on it and would pay more attention to her feelings in the future. I don't have a couple ring with that girl. Before that, she gave me many small items for couples. After my repeated entreaties, she promised to let me know as soon as she broke up with that girl. If I still liked her, she would consider getting back together with me. She is worried that it is unfair to the girl. But girls' sexual orientation belongs to the opposite sex, and I'm not sure if they have sex. A lot of words, a little long, and a lot of details. I want to ask if it is possible for us to get back together. If so, will it hurt more after the reunion? Thank you for your patient guidance.
Li Yinhe: If that girl is heterosexual, there is a great chance that they won't have a chance in the end. So there is a good chance that you will get back together. It seems that she doesn't like long-term one-on-one relationships. If you are afraid of repeating the same mistake, you should have a deep talk with her about this problem, and explore a more open relationship with your relationship as the main line, that is, allow her to go out occasionally for a change and finally stay with you.
Hello, teacher Yinhe. I am the mother of a child over two years old. My husband has lost interest in me since I got pregnant, which makes me puzzled. We were in harmony and normal until we got pregnant. Now we have been away from home because of work, but every time my husband comes back, he refuses to have sex for various reasons. We also communicated this, and he said that he was scared to have a psychological shadow when I was pregnant and gave birth. I have known him for ten years and know that he has no habit of masturbating. My question is: he is only 33 years old. How does he solve his physical problems? Will I be a widow? We traveled for a week last year. On the seventh day, he didn't show it, but he didn't succeed. Before it was over, he said he didn't feel anything. Excuse me, teacher Yinhe, what is this? I have been depressed, I hope the teacher can answer.
Li Yinhe: Your husband has ED (erectile dysfunction), and the cause is very complicated. This situation is just like getting sick. You should seek professional treatment, and a professional doctor should find out the reason and treat it. The success rate is still very high.
Miss Li, I am 48 years old, and I haven't had much sex with my husband in the last year or two. He was a little at a loss and discussed going to see a doctor. Because of this, I feel depressed and often complain, which begins to affect the harmonious relationship between the two, but I don't want to divorce. When chatting with male netizens, I sometimes talk about sex and feel very attractive. Sometimes I want to ask out on impulse but I dare not. I have never found myself so eager in this respect. What happened? What should I do?
Li Yinhe: The sexual cycle of men and women is different. Men reach their peak at the age of 20, and then slowly decline, while women maintain strong sexual desire in their thirties and forties. The first choice is to find a husband to see a doctor. Many men will still have sexual desire when they are old. If he really doesn't want to, he can get his consent and solve the problem with others.
Teacher Li, some feminists in China think that female fertility is a loss (such as the danger of affecting professional fertility and so on). ), so they think that women's childbirth should be compensated by the man or the husband's family. In addition, they think that men and women have unequal inheritance rights. In a family with both sons and daughters, women generally don't inherit any money, and the family will only give their sons money to buy a house. Therefore, women should pay a bride price when they get married to ensure economic equality between men and women when they enter society. What do you think of these views?
Li Yinhe: This is the demonization of women's rights. These views are not women's rights. Feminism only advocates equality between men and women, and there should be no idea and practice that men are superior to women. Men and women should bear and raise children together and should not put all housework on women. Inheritance rights are shared equally by children. At present, children can basically inherit their parents' property equally in cities. Most of the situations you mentioned happened in rural areas. Paying more bride price can't solve the problem of inequality between men and women. It's more like buying and selling marriage in a traditional patriarchal society.
I want to talk about my parents. I found out that my father cheated me. Although I don't know whether he is still loyal to my mother mentally, as a daughter, it is still unacceptable and disgusting. My mother should have noticed something, right? Maybe because I am not married, I want to give me a complete family background as far as possible (she is a selfless housewife). I really want to live a three-person life, but my father's behavior makes me feel that my mother has paid so much for him in vain. I want to encourage my mother to get out of this marriage and live for herself in the future. What do you think, Miss Li?
Li Yinhe: A man cheating is bullying a woman. There are only two ways for women to cope: one is to endure humiliation and continue to be bullied; One is to pursue your own happiness and perfection. You should respect your mother's choice. No matter how she chooses, she can only bear or enjoy the consequences of her choice.
Hello, Miss Li! If a boy has been married for two years and hasn't had sex with his wife, what kind of psychology is that? He said he was fine because he didn't dare. He is timid, afraid of his wife, and even afraid to ride the roller coaster.
Li Yinhe: This person is an extreme example of the lack of sex education. You can find a nature education textbook and study it carefully. It is best to ask a sex education teacher for special counseling. It shouldn't be difficult to learn, because 99 out of 100 men can learn, and the remaining one has organic erectile dysfunction and needs treatment, but most of them can be cured.
Miss Li, I am chatting with others in an international gay exchange software out of curiosity. In fact, I am a girl who wants to improve her English, but a foreigner has been asking me for a room. What should I do?
Li Yinhe: Because it is a gay dating software, you just have to tell him that you are a woman and he will give up.
Original title: This is the demonization of feminism//Galaxy Q&A 68
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