A few days ago, my sophomore called me and said, "My classmate XXX ran away crying. XXX is going to jump off a building. The teacher asked me to find them. Now they can't get through. What should I do? "
It turns out that these two college students are both good students with excellent academic performance, and the school attaches great importance to them, so that they can form a combination with the same excellent children in my family to represent the school in the performance competition. In the rehearsal of their group, they were criticized by the teacher for their poor performance. The teacher's words are a little heavy, but not too heavy. My child was scolded the worst. He accepted the teacher's criticism with an open mind and seriously thought about how to adjust. But the other two students couldn't accept the teacher's "bad words" anyway, crying and dying.
Later, the child found a student who wanted to jump off the building on the roof. After his painstaking persuasion, it didn't cause great disaster. Another person who wants to commit suicide by cutting his wrist is my child. He persuaded his partner to find him and moved him with emotion and reason.
It turned out that the children didn't cooperate, and the teacher criticized them severely. According to my child, this kind of criticism is normal. The teacher didn't use any insulting words and hurtful sentences, just a little harsh and heavy. There is nothing unacceptable.
The reason why two children want to die is because their parents and teachers have never said anything harsh to them since they were young, but whenever they behave well, teachers and parents either praise them or praise them fiercely. When they don't do well, the teacher always explains patiently and teaches seriously. Until they're finished. When they do not do well, their parents try their best to help and encourage them. Unlike university teachers, I always blame them for not doing well and have no patience at all. This is tolerable.
Listen, is it the teacher's fault? It is the teachers who are impatient and don't know how to encourage praise. They just "force" them to do well. There is nothing wrong with this truth. It seems that the problem lies with the teacher. As a teacher, we should encourage and praise more, build children's self-confidence, and make progress more easily.
This should be the common idea of most parents and teachers. They believe that children should be praised and encouraged more to make them confident, positive and progressive.
I don't agree with this idea. Have teachers and parents with this educational concept ever thought about the consequences of over-praising education for their children?
Personally, I think proper praise is beneficial to children's growth, but praise at will, whether it is family education or campus education, is far less beneficial to children's future and their growth than frustration education.
Because over-praising education means that a child will be praised for doing anything right. Over time, he will not take doing a good job for granted, but his credit. Doing a basic thing right is his great achievement. It is not that they are wrong or not doing well, but that the teachers who teach them are not patient enough and their parents are not attentive enough. You should be praised for your good work. It is natural to do something wrong, and it is the responsibility of teachers and parents. In the long run, they will take it for granted that I have nothing to do with doing something wrong, but doing something right is my credit.
Have such parents and teachers ever thought that such excessive praise and education have spoiled their children? Isn't it natural to do the right thing? Is it right to be punished for doing wrong? In the process of growing up, he made a mistake because the teacher didn't teach well enough and his parents were impatient. In the later life, he will have no responsibility, no courage to take responsibility, and will only make excuses for his mistakes. Because the factors of doing wrong in his consciousness are not personal, but objective. All the mistakes are attributed to objective reasons, not our own problems. Accustomed to praise, you will die if you encounter a little setback. Did we raise a child from blx?
Children like blx can be spoiled by parents, teachers and society? Doing the right thing is the duty, and there is nothing to praise. Why do you have to praise me for doing a correct question? Isn't it a basic requirement to do the problem correctly? It is your job to do well. Doing the right thing is the basic requirement. What is there to praise? If you do something wrong, you should do it again and criticize it. Just like we go to work. We tighten the screws. It is a matter of course to screw the screws well, which is the basic requirement for your work. If you screw them up, you must correct them. They can't go to work until they have done a good job, and they can't get paid. If you really screw up, get out and lose your job. Maybe the boss wants to praise you for screwing the screws. Will the boss blame your teacher and your parents for screwing the screws badly? Blame the teachers and parents. Will the teacher's parents be responsible for you? Don't you have to bear the consequences yourself?
On the other hand, frustration education, of course, is done right, there is nothing to praise, this is your job, you should do it right, you must do it right. If you do something wrong, you should accept criticism and punishment. Because doing things right is the basic requirement. Let the child understand this truth from an early age, and he will grow up in frustration. Only when he meets difficulties will he know that they need to be eliminated and overcome by himself. Mistakes need to be corrected by yourself. Grievance is inevitable and must be faced and borne by yourself. Such a child will not make excuses for his mistakes. Such a child can't stand any injustice.
Those children who blindly praised education from childhood screwed the screws, but the boss didn't praise them. Will they not adapt? They didn't tighten it. Can they stand the boss's criticism?
My child became the president of the student union and won the grand prize at school, which was praised by me and said with emotion; "My dad finally praised me once." I said, "Praise is your certificate, and it is for outstanding people and things. Not easy to get. Hard-won praise is the real praise, and excessive praise is worthless. This is why the teacher criticized you three. Only you are thick-skinned and willing to accept and correct, instead of complaining about the teacher and wanting to die. "
The child is very sunny and takes pains to instill my words into his classmates. The three of them fulfilled their mission and won the second prize. Two students said with emotion; "This time the teacher's praise made them taste the real praise!"
This is a true story, and I don't deny praising education. I just think that children should be praised only when they work very hard or perform particularly well. Excessive praise is far from frustrating education and cultivating children's self-confidence and sense of responsibility. Only children who are determined to move forward in setbacks will ride the wind and waves on the road of life.
what do you reckon ? Anyway, I think so!