I often hear that parents who bring their children to physical education class have such troubles.
"Our children especially like physical education class, and they can be active every time they come, but they can't draw and read, and they can't sit still." "Our daughter is just the opposite of yours. She is quiet, likes reading and drawing, and is used to being alone. We thought we should let her do more exercise and play with children before coming to class. As a result, she has been shouting tired and doesn't want to come. She is worried about me. "
We all want to get along with people we like, and we are more willing to do things we are interested in. We try to avoid things that make us hate and uncomfortable, and children are no exception.
This is because whether we do something or not is closely related to our mood and attitude towards things. Children often refuse to do something because they have a negative attitude towards it.
"Planned behavior theory" holds that when people have time to think about what they are going to do, the best prediction method is to examine their intentions, which is determined by three factors: 1, attitude towards behavior; 2. Subjective norms; 3. Perceived sense of control.
In other words, we can change the above three factors, so that the child's behavior intention becomes one thing, thus affecting the child's behavior. Help them realize: don't try to change voluntarily.
0 1
Change attitude towards behavior
If you want children to do things they don't like so much, you can start by changing their specific attitudes towards things.
Our attitude towards one thing can be divided into cognitive attitude and emotional attitude. The attitude based on cognition should be changed by rational argument, and the attitude based on emotion should be changed by emotion.
Children aged 3-6 often look at a thing with "Can this make me happy?" We should take an emotional attitude towards the basis of measurement. Therefore, it is difficult to fundamentally change children's attitude towards "rationality".
Telling a three-year-old child who doesn't like reading "Ten Benefits of Reading" is like casting pearls before swine. Only when his feelings for books change will his reading intention change.
Combine "things that children don't like so much" with things that they like, so that children will have more positive experiences in things that they don't like so much.
If you want your children to read more, say, "Baby, you should read more. Let's read some books. " It is difficult to attract children who don't like reading.
If children eat snacks, put one or two brightly colored pop-up book or picture books beside them, so that children can read at will while eating delicious snacks. In this way, books are associated with sweet snacks, and you can feel happy when you think of books.
When "something you don't like so much" becomes "something you like", who will resist?
02
Establish subjective norms
"Subjective norm" refers to people's specific behavior beliefs about how people they care about will treat themselves. For children, subjective norms come from parents or grandparents.
Children are more likely to do it when their behavior belief is "mom encourages and supports me to do this". Therefore, parents need to give their children a push to encourage them to do things they are not so keen on.
Just like having physics class twice a week, not every child can insist on full attendance. When children show slackness, if they are cultivated with the attitude of expecting children to attend classes on time and encouraging them to persist, then children will be more likely to persist, and regular classes will become a rule and habit.
Establishing rules is actually an important way to cultivate children's sense of security. Rules are like fences around the yard. The children will know that I am safe in this range and I can abide by them.
When "something you don't like so much" becomes a habit, it becomes a natural thing to do it.
03
This thing is very simple.
"Sense of control" is an important factor that affects our behavior. It refers to how easy people think it is to show some behavior. Humanity makes us more willing to do simple and effortless things.
Which is easier, going to bed directly or brushing your teeth before going to bed? This is also the reason why many children are unwilling to brush their teeth-it is troublesome to think about it!
Some children are reluctant to come to physical education class when they hear the word "class". As a result, they are happy and unwilling to go home after class.
Many times, a child's "dislike" may be just because he thinks it will challenge his ability. Physics class certainly sounds more difficult than "playing". When they hear that they are going to class, they will instinctively shrink back.
If we want our children to try something, we must first simplify it. We can simplify this matter from the description, for example:
Replace "class" with "playing games with teacher xx". In addition, the behavior can also be simplified: prepare what you need for class in advance, and then go out directly with your backpack.
The more you think about it, the easier it is to become difficult.