Fan, encyclopedia of family parenting knowledge
Smart parents often show weakness, and children will get better and better.
There used to be a saying: if we do everything and children see that they have nothing to do, then they will not do anything, and over time they will have no practical ability; If parents don't do these 20% things, then these 20% things can only be done by children, so children will try their best to complete these 20%, so their actual ability will be 20%.
In real life, children's ability is inversely proportional to what their parents do. The more things parents do for their children, the worse their abilities will be. So what is the reason? Next, I'll tell you something.
In children's eyes, the stronger their parents are, the more they can rely on them, so they have less and less responsibilities, so their abilities will get worse and worse. On the contrary, parents who know how to show weakness to their children have made their children? Powerful? .
Mom and dad must first make it clear that weakness is not what everyone thinks, but actually the wisdom in the eyes of excellent parents. With the help of children's desire for independence, parents will seize the appropriate opportunity, show weakness to their children at the appropriate time, and give them some autonomy. This will enable children to have greater confidence and ambition when doing things, and children will also exercise their own abilities, which is conducive to their growth.
The first step is to learn to show weakness to children in life.
A mother was sick, but worried about her child's life, dragging her tired body to cook and wash clothes for her child, but the child still sat on the sofa watching TV and complained that her mother's cooking was not delicious. Another mother was ill, but she did it anyway. Her mother made it clear to the child that she was ill today and felt very uncomfortable. The children have to cook by themselves and take care of her mother at the same time. As a result, the children not only cook by themselves, but also take care of their mothers before and after running.
The second step is to learn to show weakness to children in learning.
Many children encounter difficulties in their studies and always ask their parents at the first time. Mom, how do you pronounce this word? Dad, I can't solve this problem. For the sake of children's blood, most parents will take the initiative to answer their children. It seems that if you can't answer it, you can't reflect your knowledge level, and you are afraid of dampening your enthusiasm for learning.
That was not the case. If children can easily get help from their parents, they will habitually ask their parents in the future and will not think for themselves. So at this time, they should learn to show weakness and let the children try to solve the problem by themselves. ? Mom doesn't know this word either. Can you try to look it up in the dictionary? ,? This problem is really complicated. Let's take a look at the example and see who can come up with the solution first. .
Parents can also take the initiative to ask their children questions, so that children can feel like teachers and have the ability to think independently, which is very good for their development.
Finally, learn to show weakness to children in communication.
Some children don't like to associate with others, and even are afraid to associate with others. They are always reluctant to do what they should do, and then ask their parents for help, such as attending various remedial classes, and are afraid to sign up themselves. They can only ask their parents to help them register; I was wronged in class, but I was afraid to tell the teacher directly, so I asked my parents to call the teacher. In this case, it is best to show weakness, let the children learn to handle it by themselves and exercise their children, so that they will have experience after a few more times. Maybe children can do better than their parents.
Fan, encyclopedia of family parenting knowledge
Five things to be a good father.
How can a busy father be a good father? Next, a researcher with more than 40 years of educational experience will tell you with examples.
First, play sports with children.
A study by Harvard University found that babies have different feelings about their parents' love about half a year after birth. When his father hugs him, he will feel why his father is so powerful. The reason is that his father holds him high and makes the children feel comfortable. Therefore, dad is the best coach for children.
Li Hong, chief representative of the International Olympic Committee in China, why is she so fierce? The reason is that she started running with her father at the age of 7, and she has been like this until she went to college. She is healthy, energetic, tenacious, and excellent in character and study. So sometimes she joked with others that she had run into the International Olympic Committee since she was a child.
Second, give your wife more care and support.
In family relations, the relationship between husband and wife comes first, and the relationship between parents and children comes second. Only when mom and dad have a good relationship can the whole family be stable, and parent-child relationship is the branches and leaves of the family. If the family relationship is good, then the parent-child relationship will be better accordingly.
An American mother came to work in Qingdao, China, and was rated as an excellent mother by Qingdao Women's Federation. She told her story. When she was young, she asked her father what the best gift was for her. Dad thought for a long time and said? Love her mother forever? . At that time, she didn't know much about it, but after having children, she understood what the best gift was.
Third, set a good example for children.
The child grew up watching his father's back. The child learned from his father what a man should do, what a husband should do, what a father should do, and also thought about what independence and courage are. We have the following metaphor for dad. Dad is a declaration of children's independence, a textbook for children's courage and a beacon for children's success.
I once asked Peking University, an academician of Chinese Academy of Sciences and former president, why did he embark on the research road of physics department? He said that his father played triboelectricity for him in a thunderstorm, which made him feel that scientific exploration was a very magical thing. His father is a famous children's literature writer, but he is also committed to cultivating children's spirit of scientific exploration and accompanying him to watch biographical films of scientists such as Madame Curie and Edison.
Fourth, even if you are on a business trip, you should take your children to heart.
Dad is usually in charge of work and always works overtime on business trips, so he will spend less and less time with his children. However, if you have a child in your heart, you can feel the love of you and your father wherever you go. For example, no matter where you go, you should talk to your child by phone or video every day.
A female doctor recalled that her father was never at home when she was a child, and as soon as she came back, she would bring her a pencil sharpener. After years of accumulation, there are thousands of pencil sharpeners, which are still in the collection. One year on her birthday, although her father was not at home, he sent a telegram from far away to congratulate her on her happy birthday. She thought it was amazing.
Fifth, take children to experience professional life.
The division of responsibilities in family education proposed by researchers can be dominated by mothers when children are still young. Parents' responsibilities are divided equally in primary school, and fathers are the main ones in middle school. The reason is that after the child grows to such a big age, the influence of the mother begins to decline, and the influence of the father begins to rise. Middle school often has a great influence on children's later life. Dad has an advantage over mom. It is natural to create more positive and expanded experience opportunities for children and let them know what they like.
A driver's father in Xinjiang took his children to various places in winter and summer vacations, and talked about life in combination with difficulties and setbacks, so that children began to learn to think about life. Not only did all three children get a doctor's degree, but they all relied on their own strength, and the family didn't spend any money.
Fan Wensan, encyclopedia of family parenting knowledge
Principles of early education that parents should abide by.
Mom and dad always have great expectations for their children, hoping that their babies will learn a lot of knowledge and have the character of a gentleman in the future, and hope that they can become a very successful and excellent person after exercise. Therefore, many parents will give their children all kinds of education in the early education stage, but what kind of early education methods can cultivate a good child? I am here to tell you some principles of early education that need to be followed to help parents educate their children.
If parents educate their children in the right way, they can make their children more excellent and perfect, and make them more and more successful. If you choose the wrong method, there will be many bad effects. Then tell parents some principles of early education so that children can receive education and develop healthily.
1, the principle of starting at the age of zero
When we say zero years old, we mean that parents should give prenatal education to their children, make full use of this ignorant age and give them some necessary education. When the child is 6 years old, his brain is almost mature. They have their own ideas and opinions. Many times, they don't want their parents to care too much about themselves. They need their own freedom, so more and more children will not listen to their parents. Tell parents to educate early. Early education can help children lay some quality foundation and form some ideas in the subconscious, which is very helpful for their future growth. And every child is talented, and there is a certain possibility of becoming a top figure in the industry in the future, so parents must dig and cultivate. Early education is of great significance, and parents need to seize the opportunity.
2. Explore children's interests
If children are interested in one thing, then parents will feel relaxed in the later training and don't need to pay too much time and energy. Therefore, parents should pay more attention to their children's hobbies when they are young. For example, children like dancing and music. It is also possible that their imagination is good, fresh and curious. These are places that parents can explore. The reason is that the baby has no concept of many things, so he is interested and curious. It is best for parents to instill some knowledge into their children during this period so that they can accept it quickly. If they teach well, children will become excellent in the future.
Step 3 encourage more
Children have been unhappy, irritable or other negative emotions from the beginning of three months, and need constant encouragement from their parents. Parents' praise can make children feel great, so their self-confidence will be better and they will be happy, and children will like to do these things that can be praised more and more. Secondly, children will not feel inferior and give up on themselves in the process of growing up, nor will they have jealousy and resentment. It is very helpful for children to grow up happily in the sunshine and have a positive attitude towards life.
4. Don't be spoiled.
Some parents will feel very distressed after their children fall. In fact, it is very common for children to walk and wrestle at home, and children will not feel too painful. If mom and dad don't come forward to help them, but let them stand up by themselves, they can exercise their children's courage and strong quality and make them braver. Therefore, it is best for parents to love their children with forbearing care, rather than doting.
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