As we all know, the following four aspects have the greatest influence on children's growth: family, school, peers and mass media. In these respects, family is the first and the first stop for children's enlightenment. For children, its importance is not only reflected in the present, but also related to the future, which affects their future to some extent.
? Therefore, we suggest that parents must perform their duties well, instead of putting all the responsibilities on teachers and children.
The famous writer Chi Li introduced herself in "Come on, Children". When she was educating her children, the kitchen, the garden and the road ... as long as any "100,000 whys" appeared in her mind, these places would immediately become classrooms, and biology, geography, history, philosophy and psychological counseling classes would be given anytime and anywhere. She consciously seized the opportunity at any time and place and guided the children naturally, so although the children lived in. The so-called elephant is invisible, which is worth learning by many parents.
It takes ten months for us to become physical parents, but it takes us a lifetime to improve ourselves to become qualified parents and do a good job in family education. To be a practical parent and a qualified parent is a drop in the bucket. What I want to say today is "a drop in the bucket", which may be a little missing, but it is also a little feeling that parents must be good at grasping the opportunity to educate their children and do a good job in family education.
This is a true story.
This is a true story that happened around me.
Xiaoming's mother is far away from home, accompanying her brother to school, and Xiaoming is studying in a vocational high school in other places. One day, my mother received a phone call from the landlord, saying that Xiaoming was cooking corn in a rented room. As a result, he was probably fascinated by playing mobile games and forgot the corn on the fire. If the neighbors don't find out, the fire will cause great disaster. The landlord then called Xiao Ming's mother and told him about it.
Mother flew into a rage when she received the phone call. She swore at once, not only swearing, but also accusing Xiaoming of never doing good deeds. Turned him down for one thing. Xiaoming's father didn't say a word.
? This is a failed subject.
? In the face of such an accident, parents' reaction was furious. If the child is in front of her, she will definitely scold the child like a dog. Complaints, accusations, insults and total denial are taken for granted by parents, but there is no doubt that this is a wrong discipline.
First of all, parents didn't take this opportunity to express their concern for their children. Because this time it almost caught fire, the child must have been scared himself. How much children hope that when they are so worried, their parents can express their concern for themselves! However, my mother's abuse swept through me, and my father didn't even call, obviously cold and indifferent. How can this parent-child relationship be intimate?
? Secondly, parents didn't take this opportunity to teach their children how to treat mobile games. Because of the obsession with playing mobile games, this accident happened, which almost caused a disaster. The child is guilty and guilty at heart. If parents persuade their children at this time, they will realize their mistakes in the future, listen to their parents' advice and use their mobile phones reasonably, so that they will not play around and do housework carelessly.
? Third, parents did not take advantage of this opportunity to educate their children about safety. A minor child returned to the rental house from a technical school, and his father went back to his hometown to visit relatives. He knows that buying corn and cooking it at home alone means that he wants to take care of himself, but cooking corn does not use liquefied gas safely and has no safety awareness. If the parents explain, the child will definitely accept it at this time. Crisis is often an opportunity for education, but also a turning point in educating children about wrong behavior. However, many parents often don't realize this and add mistakes in their mistakes. On the issue of educating children, they are ignorant and condescending, bossing around and missing the opportunity to educate children.
? In this accident, the child was actually in danger. When parents face the danger of their children, the mother's angry cry will not help solve the problem. She doesn't care about the safety of her children. Although the father didn't scold the child, he didn't call the child to comfort him. In terms of educating children, parents' education is either counterproductive to children's growth or absent.
? In fact, looking back at ourselves, even as middle-aged people, we can't guarantee that we are foolproof. Once I went out to see a doctor when I was cooking towels. When I remembered, I ran home, and the towel had turned into black charcoal, and the pot had been baked red. Fortunately, there was no fire. Fear and guilt, and feel lucky in misfortune.
At this time, I don't need anyone to criticize me. I'm already reflecting on how inappropriate my behavior is. Imagine, at this time, if someone comes to scold me, I will think: since things have happened, they have not changed. My heart is so annoyed, so sad and so broken that you don't care about me, but you still have to scold me. You are a saint, haven't you done anything wrong?
What I need is comfort, kind reminder, not accusation, because this is what I don't want to happen. You are my parents, why don't you comfort me?
It's a pity that many parents care about foreign temporary, and don't care whether their children's body and mind are hurt, but blame them first. China's parents are often anxious when they can't find their children. When they found their child, they didn't feel glad that the child was safe, but beat the child in a rage. This thunderous education method is everywhere, and it is also the root of the problems in family education.
? What kind of education does a child need to grow up?
? At this point, what should parents do is correct?
I think the first thing to do is to make the child feel warm. Call the child at the first time and ask if he is injured. Do you want to eat? Secondly, when the child tells the story, keep calm, let the child finish, understand the situation, and give the child some suggestions according to the situation. At this time, the child will gladly accept it. Put yourself in the child's shoes. How can there be a so-called rebellious period?
It is said that companionship is the longest confession. When you accompany your child through his guilt period, he will be moved and then learn self-discipline. Parents can't accompany their children all their lives, so we must cherish the time spent with them and cultivate their children's social consciousness and independent consciousness from an early age. If parents discipline their children with abuse and blame, the children will receive a nuisance who spits dirty words at others.
Family education has a long way to go. For a child, it takes hardships to grow up, and the hardships in the middle can be accompanied by Tang Priest and his disciples to go to the Western Heaven to learn Buddhist scriptures, which is the same as the "81 difficulty". The Tang Priest knew who he was from the day he went on the road. Where did it come from? Where are you going? what are you going to do？ Unfortunately, many of our parents have never realized the heavy responsibility on their shoulders, failed to perform their responsibilities effectively and didn't know what they should do.
? Once there are discordant notes in children's development, parents begin to complain: you are not born to learn, and the bones you generate have grown into meat, and you can't be taught by a Tathagata. Or compare your children with others: Why are your children so obedient? Even simply accuse: you are a pig! What can you do besides eating and drinking?
Parents don't realize that family is their children's natural school, and parents are their children's first teachers. What parents say and do has a profound influence on their children. This subtle influence is the basic way of family moral education, which is much stronger and more profound than school moral education and social moral education. Parents are responsible for their children's development. Parents are the strongest reliance of children. Their devotion to family and love for children are likely to have a far-reaching impact on children's future character. Lu Xun believes that children's education should start from the family, and parents are the earliest educators. Parents not only have the responsibility to raise their children, but also have the responsibility to educate them.
It is often said that children are the shadows of parents, and parents are the mirrors of children. This is a fact. It can be seen that family education plays an important role in the healthy growth of children. Every parent wants their children to grow up healthily, with good personality and integrity. We know that a healthy family may not produce healthy, optimistic and excellent children, let alone a defective family.
Gorky said that loving children is what hens should do. It takes wisdom to educate children. In fact, there are often some educational opportunities in life. Faced with every detail in life, families should make good use of it to awaken and encourage their children to thrive.