Bauer, who is less than two years old, is already a bookworm.

Read books with her for a long time every day (she has to specify the bibliography, and it is clear whether she likes it or not). Sometimes I have to brush the same book n times a day.

In Bauer's book list, picture books and children's books compiled and drawn by Japanese writers account for a large proportion. Among them, there are Itsumi Taro's picture books.

Bauer especially likes Itsumi Taro's The Little Goldfish Escaped. When she first saw it (about 10 months), she quickly found a special little goldfish from a pond full of goldfish on the last page. We were all shocked at that time.

Speaking of Itsumi Taro, I believe that children's shoes with children at home are no strangers. He is considered as the most popular picture book writer in Japan and the most famous picture book writer in Japan overseas.

From the age of 30 to 76, he has published more than 400 picture books with high quality and quantity in his creative career of nearly 50 years.

The industry commented that his brain hole is like a whirlpool, and his inspiration is endless. This kind of thing will never appear in his story! Therefore, some people joked that he is a "ghost talent" in the Japanese picture book industry.

With the rising status of Jianghu, many parents began to ask Itsumi Taro for parenting experience.

For example, a parent once told Itsumi Taro that she wanted her children to read picture books and books and hope that they would have a bright future.

I didn't expect Itsumi Taro to say bluntly, "Let children become promising. Holding this idea will limit children to a narrow framework, because there are very few people who have always been promising. "

These remarks are really "Itsumi Taro".

In the process of communicating with you, Itsumi Taro said that he gradually discovered an incredible phenomenon:

Many people are talking about children, but they don't see them at all.

Many people care about their children and tell them what to do, but they don't look at what they really need.

Itsumi Taro believes that "those worries, anxieties and unconfidence about children are simply the worries, anxieties and unconfidence of adults about themselves."

Therefore, he specially wrote a book to express his view on parenting, the title of which is "Children have no problem, adults have problems". You can guess his position just by reading the title of the book.

In this book, he put forward many very "Itsumi Taro" views:

Many times, at first glance, his views seem absurd, but when you think about it carefully, he has a thorough analysis of the current situation of education and parenting anxiety.

Today, I will share some of his "parenting fallacies" with you, hoping to bring you some thoughts and enlightenment.

Want to make children obedient? He will only figure out how to deal with you.

Anyone who has a sensible and obedient baby will be envied by everyone and will make adults more worry-free!

But Itsumi Taro thinks it is impossible to ask children to obey. Children will only temporarily compromise and maintain superficial peace. In fact, they have been thinking about how to deal with you.

For example, he is very concerned that schools require children to eat carrots in free lunches-

"I often hear that children hate carrots, because carrots have a special taste, so it is understandable to be hated. Are there no adults who don't like coffee or whisky? But why are children severely criticized for eating carrots at school? "

"There are children crying and forcing themselves to eat carrots, as if humans have an obligation to eat carrots."

In order to let children eat carrots, the school has come up with various punishment measures: clean up before eating, double homework before eating, and don't go out to play before eating.

But at this level, the school has no plausible reason.

Children have been obedient until they grow up to understand:

Life will not be unhappy because of eating broccoli, and you will not necessarily get sick if you don't eat carrots.

If you ask adults, "Do carrots have anything to do with life?" 99% of people will answer "No."

Children often waste a lot of time in order to meet the requirements of adults. They are thinking about how to write fast and how to eat carrots. "When they think about these things, they learn to handle things, learn to steal columns, and learn to cheat."

Gradually, they can't do what they want to do, and finally they don't even know what they want.

In fact, many times, as long as adults can stand up and help him analyze it, even if it's just a sentence (for example, if you don't like carrots, just put it aside? ), the problem is solved.

Itsumi Taro also believes that parents can't always be on the teacher's side. Because then the child will be miserable and he will have no other way out.

When I was a child, my father saw that he was doing the same Chinese character homework many times, and he would say, "Can't you write faster with carbon paper?"

Every time he is punished for doing his homework at school, he thinks of his father and feels less lonely.

Children's work in the first ten years is to "see"

Itsumi Taro mentioned in his autobiography "When I was a Child" that the job of teenagers is "observation" and there is only one job.

Although I will feel, think, design and try, those are children's "sideline" after all, and children's main business is just watching.

Later, he further said that children should be issued with "free passports" before the age of ten, and the first ten years were his "watching" period.

As for why it is ten years, this is just his feeling.

He believes that children should be able to observe things deeply before they are ten years old. If this step is not done well, the child may face more setbacks in his later life.

He heard that the Masai people in Africa have a similar tradition:

Children have five years to wander around before they reach adulthood. They often walk together and see different customs on the grassland.

Correspondingly, wherever they go, they will be warmly received and the social support system is very complete.

After this experience, children can better protect the tribe when they grow up.

Itsumi Taro was very observant when he was a child. Looking at the streets and lanes and the customs of all walks of life was his main "work" at that time.

When he was young, he went to new york. He couldn't sleep in the middle of the night and wandered in the street. He was surprised to find that the coffee shop was still open.

There, he saw all kinds of people: drunk, sleeping, chatting endlessly, clicking and typing. ...

Wait until dawn, and the bus starts to operate. Some people go to work, some people go home, and some people quarrel at the crossroads. People speak various languages, English, French, Spanish ... some he can understand, others he can't.

Seeing more people of all kinds, the nervous nerves began to relax. This is a very important experience for him.

Observation is indeed of great significance to Itsumi Taro.

Some media have asked him how he got the inspiration for his creation, and he said that all his creative themes came out one day.

His picture book "Let's Shit" was inspired by a scene where he saw the feces of different animals steaming in the zoo on a cold winter morning.

Because of this picture book, many children wrote to him and said, "Every time I see my own shit, I feel very interesting." Children are also surprised to have an adult who has the same hobbies as themselves.

No wonder many people have such comments on Itsumi Taro:

He is a rare author who can truly treat children as equal people and look at and explore the world with children's eyes.

Life is about finding your place.

Itsumi Taro once said in his speech: "Children don't need education".

He believes that the changing speed of the times is beyond our imagination, and it is not worth promoting to customize children's growth model with successful specimens of the current society.

"Now the environment in which we live is changing rapidly, and we can't completely control what may happen in the future. What parents should teach their children is the courage and ability to survive in any environment. For children, the ability to perceive change is the most important. "

Itsumi Taro has two daughters. The eldest daughter dropped out because she didn't like school education.

After that, they chose to study independently, and now they have all grown into excellent adults.

In Itsumi Taro's view, this society doesn't have to have academic qualifications to survive, and the importance of academic qualifications will continue to decrease in the future. School education is only one of the optional life paths.

If the child feels inappropriate, he can give up.

But giving up school does not mean giving up learning, but in another way, "everyone must be responsible for his own actions." Giving up independent thinking and entering the established track is another kind of laziness. "

Many mothers are very worried about their children's ranking: their ranking in school and their status in society ... for this reason, they often feel particularly anxious.

Itsumi Taro would humorously suggest that they go to see sardines:

The reason why sardines can live freely in the water may be that they have seen all kinds of fish, such as giant fish, small fish, striped fish, spotted fish, submerged fish, swimming fish and fish eaten before their eyes. ...

Because sardines themselves have no goal of "wanting to be such sardines", they are particularly relaxed.

They don't have the pressure of "dried sardines that make themselves delicious" and don't want to change their position in the food chain. Sardines are probably so carefree to death.

As he grew older, Itsumi Taro realized more and more deeply that the so-called life is to find his own place.

He has been looking for it, and so have his children.

"Some children can find their own position smoothly, and some children can't find it because of lack of ability, but the life of getting some living expenses every month is unreliable, and their own life position must be explored by themselves."

"In the process of children finding their own life position, when they need help, whether adults can help him is the key to success."

For children, not everything needs parents. What children need is:

When he encounters problems, there are adults who can accept himself;

When he needs to communicate and talk, adults can stop and listen to him;

When children need advice and some suggestions, adults can immediately lend a helping hand.

It is enough to be able to do this.

References:

(1) The book "Children have no problem, adults have problems", Nanhai Publishing Company.

(2) the book "always a teenager", Guizhou people's publishing house.

Ma Chuan, talk about it.

Recently, my father and I often talk about a topic. When we were young, our parents accompanied and disciplined us better. Is it a bad thing or a good thing? In some cases, this may really be a good thing. We can be less influenced by some wrong educational concepts and practices, and inadvertently provide us with a space for free (barbaric) growth. Comparatively speaking, is it a good thing or a bad thing for our generation of parents to devote themselves to their children, accompany them around the clock and control their children's growth in all directions without dead ends? Itsumi Taro's philosophy of education is a good reminder and inspires us to think.