An excellent child educator said: "Excellent character can only be cultivated when the child is still in the cradle, and there is hope. Sow the seeds of morality in children's hearts, the sooner the better. "
Makarenko, an educator in the former Soviet Union, said: "It is much easier to educate children correctly, reasonably and in line with standards than to re-educate." Therefore, educate children with communist morality and let them grow up healthily along the requirements of the proletariat from an early age.
First, the content of children's moral education
(A) the seeds of children's love for the motherland
Loving the motherland is the virtue of mankind, the glorious tradition and precious heritage of the Chinese nation, and a great driving force for success. From China scientist Li Siguang and mathematician Hua, we can see the great power of patriotism.
For children, to cultivate their love for the motherland, we should start from the side. Sumhoslinki asked his students to love their mothers first. He said, "If a child doesn't even love his mother, will he still love others, his hometown and his motherland?" My mother is easy to understand and do, which laid the foundation for patriotic education in the future. "Therefore, parents should educate their children to bring joy to their mothers, fathers, grandfathers and grandmothers, share their sorrows and misfortunes, care about adults' diseases, and let their parents and relatives eat delicious food first. Through sightseeing, visiting and traveling, children can be exposed to the beautiful scenery of the motherland, know the vast territory, rich materials and long-standing culture of the motherland, and cultivate their sentiment and sprout their love for the motherland.
We can also take vivid and diverse educational activities, such as festivals, stories, paintings and birthdays. Let the children feel the joy of being children in China, and know that their happiness today is gained through the struggle and sacrifice of the older generation of revolutionaries, heroes and scientists.
(2) Let children develop the good habit of being polite.
Civilized and polite behavior is the symbol of socialist spiritual civilization. Civilized and polite behavior habits are formed by long-term practice from childhood.
Therefore, from an early age, children are required not to swear, not to swear, to be kind, warm and polite, and not to interrupt others when they are talking; Respect the old and love the young; Visit other people's homes, don't rummage around, have a good meal, and so on.
(3) Cultivate children's good qualities of honesty and telling the truth.
Teach children to hand in whatever they find, not to hide their mistakes, and to be brave in correcting them. The most important thing for children to do this is the educational attitude of parents. It is difficult to cultivate this quality of children by blindly accusing them of their faults. When parents find their children lying, they should analyze the reasons for lying and solve them in a targeted way. If a child wants to buy a colorful brush painting, his parents refuse, and as a result, the child takes a neighbor's behind his parents' back. Some children do something wrong and lie for fear of being scolded and beaten, while others lie to satisfy their vanity and so on. If parents criticize their children indiscriminately, it will not solve the problem.
Parents should be role models for their children. Some children are not sincere to others because of the bad behavior of adults, take other people's things and lie. This subtle influence will make children form deep-rooted bad habits. Parents should not take it lightly and set an example everywhere.
(4) Cultivate children's industrious and thrifty qualities.
Children's diligence and frugality are cultivated through labor. Children's work mainly starts from the following aspects: first, self-help work, so as to do their own thing well. Dress yourself, wash your face, brush your teeth, eat, make your bed, toys, etc. Self-help labor can cultivate children's ability to live an orderly and independent life and lay a good foundation for children to participate in housework and social welfare work. Second, housework can help children care and cherish their families, take the initiative to care for others in adulthood, and maintain good relations with all kinds of people. At the same time, through the ability of working and living, I will create a happy and harmonious family with my own hands when I grow up.
Enhance children's participation consciousness and labor concept through housework. Children can wash dishes, chopsticks, clean the room, choose vegetables and buy small items nearby.
Through labor, children can be trained to cherish the fruits of labor and cultivate their good qualities of loving labor and saving money. Don't waste water, electricity and food, don't compare clothes and toys with others, and girls don't wear makeup or jewelry.
(e) Cultivate children's generous, hospitable and selfless character and refrain from getting along with others.
Now there are more only children, children live alone and eat more. It is very important to cultivate children to be generous and selfless and get along well with others. Ask them to play with their children, share food and toys, abide by the rules of the game, and tidy up toys. Let children get along well with other children through various activities.
Cultivate children's life rhythm, get up on time, sleep, eat and learn to play games.
(six) to cultivate children's brave, strong, lively and cheerful personality.
Courage refers to a psychological quality that people are not afraid of dangers and difficulties and have courage. This quality is combined with people's self-confidence and the ability to consciously overcome fear, and must be cultivated from an early age. It is necessary to educate children to dare to speak and perform in front of strange groups; Encourage children to participate in sports activities and other various game activities within their power to cultivate their self-confidence; When children hear loud talk or thunder, wind or rain in the dark, don't panic or be afraid. They can overcome all kinds of difficulties, stick to the task, and dare to admit their mistakes and mistakes.
In daily life, parents should pay attention to using correct educational methods, often encourage and support their children to participate in various beneficial activities, and don't blame, laugh at, dig at or intimidate their children casually, lest they form a timid psychology.
In order to cultivate children's brave quality, parents should teach their children the corresponding knowledge and skills, so that children will have enough self-confidence. Children's timid behavior is mostly due to lack of self-confidence, which is based on necessary knowledge and skills. For example, children will be frightened by lightning and storms and feel uneasy about the darkness, which are all caused by the lack of corresponding knowledge and ability. Parents should explain relevant knowledge to them and teach them some corresponding skills and methods, so that children's fear will be alleviated a lot.
If children are afraid of difficulties, it is often because they lack confidence in their abilities. If the child is really weak in ability and talent, parents should not only conform to the actual level of the child as much as possible, but also give specific guidance and help. When he has done what he can, he should give him an affirmation at once, no matter how small or insignificant it is.
In addition, parents can also use brave images in real life to influence and educate their children, such as facts, stories, movies, plays and other literary works, to help children overcome their fears.
Children are naturally active and develop their movements, intelligence, morality and character in action. However, uncontrolled exercise and excessive exercise affect their good development of organizational discipline and attention. Therefore, parents should correctly induce and cultivate their children's self-control in various activities, so that they can become lively, cheerful and good at controlling their own personality.
Second, the methods of children's moral education
(A) give full play to the effectiveness of works of art.
It is difficult to grasp the concrete image of children's thinking with abstract first concept, so it is very important to educate children with artistic images that children like. For example, after listening to the story of "tiger without teeth", children who don't like hygiene love hygiene and form the habit of washing their hands before and after meals.
(B) seize the opportunity of education
Timing refers to a favorable opportunity with timeliness in activities or life, and there is also a timing problem in children's education.
The opportunity of education is often manifested in the following aspects: for example, when a child succeeds, parents can put forward new requirements after encouragement, and put the toys away after playing; When children are frustrated, parents should care to help them correct their shortcomings; When children are interested in something, parents should guide them to form good behavior habits according to the situation; When the child is angry and excited, parents should calm down and wait for the child to calm down before educating; Children are sick and tired, so parents had better ask less and care more, but never give in.
(3) subtle suggestion method
Suhomlinski said: "In any kind of educational phenomenon, the less a child feels the intention of the educator, the greater his educational effect." Because suggestive education can reconcile the relationship between educators and educatees. Avoid the rebellious mentality of the educated and promote the active development of children. To sum up, the suggestion method has the following advantages: acceptability, children don't like the "naked" education form since childhood, and don't want to be educated and controlled all the time.
Hints make them feel equal and respected, and hints make children feel happy and relaxed. For example, rich facial expressions, vivid language and specific touching scenes are easy for children to digest and turn into their own actions. By means of suggestion, children can develop their moral understanding, emotional will and behavior. The methods of suggestion include language suggestion, example suggestion and so on. The most influential hints for children are body posture and expression. For example, children love to talk and adults pout; Children do little tricks, adults wave; Children doze off, adults knock on the table, etc. Can help children overcome shortcomings.
(D) Positive induction
There are many ways to educate children. Parents need to use their brains and choose a way to promote their children's active development. They can do it if they have the heart. For example, Mr. Chen Heqin, a child psychologist and educator in China, found that his eldest son was playing games with a dirty and torn cloth and wanted to get angry, but he didn't get angry because he knew that getting angry could not solve the problem. He wanted to help his children find a clean cloth, but he didn't. Instead, he inspired them to love cleanliness and let them take the initiative to find ways to change dirty cloth. This practice did not hurt the child's self-esteem. On the contrary, it overcame the shortcomings, mobilized the child's consciousness and corrected his own shortcomings.
(5) guide the law according to the situation.
It is to induce children to distinguish right from wrong and form good moral character according to their original performance. For example, Teacher Wang tells the story of Liu Hulan's heroic sacrifice, and some children laugh when they see other children painting Donald Duck. Although Mr. Wang was angry, he handled the matter calmly. After understanding the situation, he asked the children to go home and ask their parents how many kinds of "smiles" there are, and under what circumstances? The next day, the children had a heated discussion and knew that Liu Hulan should not laugh when he died. This not only corrected the children's mistakes, but also made them master the knowledge of "laughter", improved their understanding and distinguished right from wrong.
The above are some contents and methods about how to cultivate children's moral character, which is part of tonight's family education lecture. Now enter the second part, some problems that often appear in family education and their solutions. Every child is a special individual. He has his own unique perception, personality and ideas. In addition, each child lives in a different family environment. Every parent wants to educate their children well. However, due to many subjective and objective reasons, it is not easy to educate children well. We do encounter many problems when educating our children. I have done a lot of investigation and understanding, and collected and sorted out the problems and solutions that children often encounter in life and study. I hope so.
What if the child doesn't like to talk?
Indeed, in real life, some children obviously speak, but rarely speak, even if they encounter difficulties, they rarely ask for help. Others are used to shaking their heads and nodding their heads to express their meaning, and rarely answer questions directly. If these children who seldom talk get along with their peers and find that they are talking and laughing, but they don't talk much when they return to adults, then it is certain that these children have no speech barriers, but only communication barriers with adults.
Children's silence in front of their parents is the result of poor communication. Some parents will not speak for themselves, and children will lose interest in speaking if they are not given the opportunity to speak. In the process of taking care of their children, some parents had better let their children play quietly, while they are busy with housework or other things and don't pay attention to their children. Over time, the communication between parents and children was replaced by indifference. There are also some parents who don't understand the art of communicating with their children. Even if you play with children, you rarely communicate with them, and you have developed the habit of poor communication between parents and children.
In order to change children's habit of silence in front of their parents, parents should first change their habits, communicate with their children as much as possible and inspire them to speak. Children who refuse to answer questions directly can ask questions repeatedly until they give a definite and complete answer, and then give encouragement, such as "Good point!" "I see" and so on.
For a few children who seldom talk, symbolic reward method can be used, which is a behavioral therapy developed according to the principle of operant conditioning. When a child speaks a sentence, give him a token (such as a little red star) as a reward (reinforcement) for his speech. After accumulating a certain number of tokens, children can get a toy or be allowed to participate in an activity, such as going to the zoo or eating a fast food. This method can get obvious effect in a short time.
What should I do if my child is "disobedient"
Parents' question: Our children are becoming more and more deaf. It takes him several times to respond to something. Eating and sleeping are always procrastinating, which makes me very angry. How to eradicate this "disobedience" problem?
There are three reasons why children are "disobedient":
1. Didn't hear;
2. Focus on your own career and "listen without hearing";
3. Unwilling to carry out the "command" and pretending not to hear it.
You can try the following tricks:
1. Change posture and distance when speaking. Get as close to the child as possible, call his name and keep eye contact.
2. Adjust your intonation. Give simple and clear orders in a calm and firm tone.
3. Give a certain buffer time, such as "You can put it away after another 5 minutes", so that children can be prepared.
4. If necessary, support your command in some way. For example, children will be punished for delaying the execution of orders, or some rights will be revoked.
How to correct children's lying
Lying is one of the most serious shortcomings of psychological distortion.
-Montessori
Children's lying can be divided into unintentional lying and intentional lying.
Have no intention of lying
One of the important reasons is that children can't distinguish the boundary between their imagination and reality, and try to describe some imaginary things in words. A child will describe his imagination as a fact and form a lie with no special purpose. This kind of "lie" is essentially a reflection of children's imagination. Sometimes, children's weakness and retreat will lead them to make up lies on impulse. This kind of lie is defensive.
Deliberately lie
Usually with obvious deceptive purposes. Sometimes, children lie because of their reasoning. For example, when they know that telling the truth will be punished, they may cover up the truth with lies. Or, when children realize that if they don't hide the facts, they won't be recognized by society or praised by their parents, they may also use the method of lying. Lying on purpose can easily become a habit.
Parents don't have to pursue children's unintentional lies too much, because this phenomenon will gradually disappear with the improvement of children's cognitive ability.
We should take lying on purpose seriously. First of all, parents should form a tolerant atmosphere in the family, don't be too demanding and blaming their children, let alone treat their children's faults with corporal punishment, and don't let their children form fear. This is an important condition to prevent their children from lying. For children who intentionally lie, it is necessary to conduct serious investigation and analysis, expose lies with the truth, let children know that lying is subject to criticism, and block children's attempts to lie from the beginning. In addition, we should pay attention to positive education. Children should be honest, tell the truth and do honest things from an early age, and let them know that people who don't lie can be calm and happy.
In order to prevent children from lying, adults should first be honest, calm and upright, treat children sincerely, and don't sacrifice their needs for adults' own sake.
How to stimulate and cultivate children's interest in learning
First of all, parents should stimulate and guide their children's thirst for knowledge from an early age.
Children especially like to ask "why" and "what's going on?" In the face of children's strange problems, some parents are tongue-tied, while others are impatient and unwilling to be pestered endlessly by their children. In fact, these problems are just the seeds of children's knowledge. Parents should patiently explain to their children one by one in easy-to-understand language, guide them to read "100,000 Why" specially prepared for children, take them to nature, and let them have a perceptual understanding of some physical phenomena. If there is nothing wrong with the child, parents should take the initiative to tell the child. Don't think that children are too young to understand. In fact, they can learn a lot when they seem to understand. Children's brains are very active, so parents can't ignore their childhood education.
Second, parents should enthusiastically encourage their children's interest in learning. There was once a parent who asked his two-and-a-half-year-old child to learn to draw. The original intention is to cultivate children's interest, but when parents see their children draw the bird into a big black pimple, they can't help but say that the child is "so stupid! What is it? " This attitude of parents will definitely have a great impact on children's enthusiasm for learning, because parents are the first authoritative evaluators in children's minds, and they are particularly eager to get their parents' affirmation, but parents often don't realize this and often destroy their children's thirst for knowledge irresponsibly and easily. When children do well, they should be praised in time, but when children do badly or fail, they should first find their creative side and then encourage them.
Third, for children who are not interested in learning because of learning difficulties. Parents should patiently help their children find the reasons for the difficulties and help them master scientific learning methods. Some children don't concentrate in class and don't do homework after class. They are often reprimanded or even beaten by their parents, which will inevitably form a vicious circle. For children with learning difficulties, parents can find a psychologist to check and evaluate their learning ability, find out their problems and correct them in a scientific way.
Interest classes should interest children.
The period from 6 years old to 12 years old is a good time to cultivate children's interest. Because children's nervous system develops rapidly during this period, they can adapt to and accept some skills and skills training, their personality has also been formed, their interests are relatively stable, and they have certain self-control ability and sufficient learning time. Therefore, in the golden age, it is completely feasible to let children go to interest classes to learn some specialties. However, parents need to be reminded that it is counterproductive to force their children to study too much. Therefore, parents must find out where their children's interests are and choose according to their interests before enrolling them in interest classes. Letting children do what they are most interested in is the best way to stimulate children to learn consciously and actively. Parents should not regard their main concerns as their children's actual interests, or even impose their children's interests on them. In addition, parents should pay attention to the following points when children attend interest classes:
First, it is clear that the purpose of children's interest classes is to cultivate sentiment or learn a skill. If it is purely utilitarian, it is not appropriate to force children to reach a certain level regardless of their actual situation.
Second, don't let children attend several interest classes at the same time. This will distract his attention, and the result will be "a bottle of dissatisfaction, half a bottle swaying." At the same time, it will also increase the burden on children and make them feel tired of learning.
Thirdly, flexible learning methods help to cultivate interest in learning. Improve learning efficiency. Some children are willing to master knowledge from games, while others are willing to learn from others. The best way for each child to learn is different. Therefore, parents should choose interest classes with flexible learning methods.
Fourth, if the goal set for children is too high, children will lose confidence because it is too difficult and give up their efforts. Parents can always set an achievable goal for him in the near future, so that the child will have the confidence to study.
How to correct children's habit of swearing?
Swearing is a very uncivilized behavior, which will hurt people's feelings and cause others' resentment and revenge. Many interpersonal conflicts in life often begin with mutual scolding. Scold will become angry from embarrassment, move hands and feet, and even lead to tragedy. However, some parents turn a blind eye to their children's swearing behavior and think it's no big deal for their children to say a few dirty words, especially those children who are just learning to speak. I even find it interesting to hear them learn one or two dirty words occasionally, and encourage them to curse this and that with these dirty words. This is very wrong and dangerous, because over time, children can easily form the bad habit of swearing.
How to correct children's bad habit of swearing?
First, education trains children to respect others. To fundamentally prevent children from swearing, we must first educate children to know how to respect others. At ordinary times, parents should consciously introduce their children to the occupation, personality and advantages of each family and friend, and encourage their children to learn from the advantages of others. Parents should also cultivate their children's good character of modesty and prudence, not be complacent, not compare their own advantages with others' shortcomings, let their children understand the truth that "no one is perfect without gold", treat others' shortcomings and shortcomings correctly, and never make fun of others' mistakes or misfortunes. At the same time, it is more important to cultivate and urge children to respect others in daily life. For example, take the initiative to greet teachers and classmates at school, warmly greet acquaintances, politely ask for help first, then explain the reasons, thank you afterwards, and warmly welcome guests at home.
Second, educate children to correctly treat the friction with others. In most cases, children's swearing is a vent response to their injuries, such as; Things have been stolen and knocked down by others, and people often call names. Parents should educate their children to treat the friction with others with goodwill, let them understand that the earth is crowded and unpleasant things will happen at any time, and let them learn to tolerate other people's mistakes and not be angry and angry about these small things.
Of course, parents should also help their children learn appropriate venting methods. For example, encourage children to express their true feelings, ask for help from relevant people, solve frictions, cultivate children's sense of humor, and masturbate when necessary.
Third, train children to learn to calm down for one minute when they are angry. Some children are used to swearing, although he also knows that swearing is wrong and often regrets it afterwards. In view of this situation, parents can reach a tacit understanding with their children: when children want to vent their anger, parents use some pre-agreed language or eyes to suggest that children should think calmly at this time. In this case, the child will consider how to express himself in a civilized way and filter out uncivilized language after a minute of calm. Insisting on this kind of self-education and training for children with the cooperation of parents will help children gradually correct their bad habits of swearing.
Fourth, insist on insulting children to review, and parents should seriously criticize children when they curse. When criticizing, you can ask your child the following questions: Why do you curse? Can we "fight back" with goodwill instead of swearing? What problem can swearing solve? What kind of attitude the scolded person will have and what kind of revenge means to take are all aimed at letting the children finally realize that the result of swearing is harmful and useless, thus prompting the children to apologize to the scolded person and admit their mistakes. If parents insist on it several times, children will get rid of the bad habit of swearing.
Fifth, set an example and purify the family language environment. Children's language expression is largely formed by imitating adults (especially parents). Therefore, in the family, parents should pay attention to improving their self-cultivation, language civilization, not swearing, not only to be kind to outsiders, but also to their families. In this way, it is not only conducive to correcting children's bad habits of swearing, but more importantly, it provides a clean environment for their healthy growth.
Family education is a science as well as an art. All I can say is some methods and suggestions, which I hope will help everyone to think about how to better educate our children and care for our next generation.