Many children take their parents' devotion and love for granted and don't need gratitude and return. Lack of gratitude to parents is an important reason for children's disobedience. In my opinion, it is necessary for children to feel the dedication and love of their parents, and it is necessary to cultivate their sense of gratitude.
On the one hand, let children learn to manage money and develop the habit of recording income and expenditure. Rockefeller, the former richest man in the United States and president of Mobil Oil Company, gave his children only 30 cents a week in pocket money, equivalent to RMB 2.4 yuan. Moreover, he asked his children to record every expenditure every week and submit it to their father for inspection when they receive pocket money next week. Later, his children can live a happy life through their own labor, instead of relying on the billionaire's father. The new era requires us to learn how to be a man, how to do things, how to cooperate, and how to manage money. If you get into the habit of recording your income and expenditure, you can use your wealth on the "cutting edge" and plan your life in an orderly way, instead of constantly being stretched and struggling to cope with money problems. Learning to manage money means learning to plan your life. Financial management will benefit you a lot in your life. After a period of time, let the children figure out how much parents spend a semester a year.
On the other hand, children should also take part in some labor, work hard to make money, and understand that money is hard to come by and must be obtained through labor. This will help to develop the habit of thrift and help to cultivate children's sense of gratitude. Having a grateful heart is a powerful guarantee for family education to achieve ideal results.
Second, combine tolerance with strict requirements to cultivate children's sense of responsibility.
"Strictness is love and looseness is harm" is an old saying of China. For thousands of years, parents have educated their children and teachers have educated their students. What they say most is "strict requirements". Indeed, strict requirements play an important role in promoting children's healthy growth, allowing children to develop according to the ideal model of adults and avoid detours. There are many successful examples in this regard. However, the negative impact on "strict requirements" cannot be ignored. It makes children accustomed to acceptance, unable to think critically, losing their individuality and weak sense of innovation, and even some children are depressed, withdrawn and lose their innocence prematurely. The tragedy of Zeng Yongkang, a gifted child who was admitted to college at the age of 13, reported by CCTV Science and Education Channel at the end of June this year, illustrates this point. Therefore, I think the education of children should be strict and more tolerant. Strict is not harsh and demanding, but strict and moderate, strict and orderly, strict and reasonable. Tolerance does not mean indulgence, laissez-faire, ignoring children's problems and forgiving all their mistakes. Tolerance is more about emotional and spiritual tolerance for children, so that children can have a healthy mentality and receive strict education in a relaxed environment.
Parents should deal with the relationship between strict requirements and relaxed environment, strict process and tolerant results. Tolerance is the trust in children, so that children have confidence and courage, strict requirements are to cultivate children's sense of responsibility, which is conducive to cultivating children's good habits of being strict with themselves from beginning to end.
Third, democratic and equal exchanges to cultivate children's sense of independence.
The remarkable characteristics of teenagers before and after puberty are the "changes" in children's development, physical changes and psychological changes. Parents will find that I don't know when the child has been disobedient. If you want the East, he wants the West. This phenomenon is called "rebellious psychology" in psychology. This period is called "psychological weaning period" in psychology.
Children in this period are mainly manifested in their growing desire for independent activities. However, due to their lack of life experience, they can't correctly understand their self-esteem, and they just urge others to treat themselves as adults. If parents still treat them as children at this time, they will feel bored, feel that they have hurt their self-esteem, and will have rebellious psychology and sprout antagonistic emotions.
Children in this period, despite the development of self-awareness, have poor self-control ability and often violate discipline unconsciously. They like to argue with others, but the arguments are insufficient; I like to express my views, but I'm not sure; Like to criticize others, but easy to be one-sided; I like to doubt others, but I lack scientific basis.
Therefore, it is not enough for parents to be satisfied with knowing their children on the surface. Parents must learn some psychological knowledge and understand the essence of "psychological weaning period". The psychological weaning period is essentially a period when teenagers gradually become independent from the psychological state of relying on their parents with their physical and mental growth and judge and solve the new problems they face by themselves. This is a person's socialization process, and we should establish close and equal friendship with them. I believe that children have the ability to handle things independently. This is a turning point from naivety to maturity.
Therefore, parents should respect their children's self-esteem, support them as much as possible, especially when they encounter difficulties and failures, communicate with them equally, help them analyze things, distinguish right from wrong and handle them correctly. On the other hand, parents should not indulge their children's unreasonable demands and bad behaviors too much, in case their children always threaten their parents in a rebellious way in the future to achieve their own goals. For more serious resistance behavior, parents can use the method of reward training to strengthen their children's obedience behavior.
Fourth, help children know themselves and build their core competitiveness.
The new educational concept holds that "everyone is talented, but no one is all-rounder." Teach students in accordance with their aptitude and make them all successful. " The purpose of education is to make children become useful people, and teaching students in accordance with their aptitude is the only way to become useful people. The purpose of family education is also to make their children become useful people. There are thousands of roads to success, and all roads lead to Rome. Our school has Tong Nan, the second super boy voice in 2004, and Huang Yali, the second super girl voice in 2005. They can stand out among thousands of contestants, which can't be said to be talent or success. This is the result of their own advantages and disadvantages, schools and parents teaching students in accordance with their aptitude.
Every child is unique. Gardner, a professor at Harvard University and a developmental psychologist, believes that on the one hand, intelligence is related to people's value standards in a certain social and cultural environment, which makes people have different understandings of intelligence in different social and cultural environments and different requirements for intellectual expression forms; On the other hand, intelligence is not only the ability to solve practical problems, but also the ability to produce and create products that society needs. He put forward a new theory about intelligence and its nature and structure ── the theory of multiple intelligences. There are seven kinds of intelligence in Gardner's multiple intelligence framework: speech-language intelligence, music-rhythm intelligence, logic-mathematics intelligence, vision-space intelligence, body-kinesthetic intelligence, self-knowledge-introspection intelligence and communication-communication intelligence.
1. Speech-Language Intelligence
This kind of intelligence mainly refers to the ability of listening, speaking, reading and writing, which is manifested in the ability of individuals to describe events, express their thoughts and communicate with others smoothly and efficiently. This kind of intelligence is outstanding in journalists, editors, writers, speakers and political leaders.
2. Music-rhythm intelligence
This kind of intelligence mainly refers to the ability to feel, distinguish, remember, change and express music, which is manifested as personal sensitivity to music including rhythm, tone, timbre and melody, and the ability to express music through composition, performance and singing. This kind of intelligence is outstanding among composers, conductors, singers, performers, musical instrument makers and musical instrument Andhadhun.
3. Logic-Mathematical Intelligence
This kind of intelligence mainly refers to the ability of operation and reasoning, which is characterized by sensitivity to various relationships between things such as analogy, contrast, causality and logic, and the ability to think through mathematical operation and logical reasoning. This kind of intelligence has outstanding performance in detectives, lawyers, engineers, scientists and mathematicians.
4. Visual spatial intelligence
This kind of intelligence mainly refers to the ability to feel, distinguish, remember and change the spatial relationship of objects to express thoughts and emotions, which is manifested in the sensitivity to lines, shapes, structures, colors and spatial relationships, as well as the ability expressed through plane graphics and three-dimensional modeling. This cleverness is manifested in painters, sculptors, architects, navigators, naturalists and military strategists.
5. Body kinesthetic intelligence
This kind of intelligence mainly refers to the ability to use limbs and trunk, which is manifested as the ability to control one's body well, make appropriate physical reactions to events, and express one's thoughts and feelings with body language. This kind of intelligence is outstanding in athletes, dancers, surgeons, racing drivers and inventors.
6. Self-knowledge-introspection intelligence
This kind of intelligence mainly refers to the ability to know, understand and reflect on oneself, which is manifested in the ability to correctly know and evaluate one's emotions, motives, desires, personality and will, and to form self-esteem, self-discipline and self-control on the basis of correct self-knowledge and self-evaluation. This kind of cleverness is outstanding in philosophers, novelists, lawyers and others.
7. Communication-exchange of information
This kind of intelligence mainly refers to the ability to get along with and communicate with others, which is manifested in the ability to perceive and experience other people's emotions, emotions and intentions and make appropriate responses accordingly. This cleverness is manifested in teachers, lawyers, salesmen, public relations personnel, talk show hosts, managers and politicians.