It seems that material rewards can help parents motivate their children better, but as an educational method, material rewards will make children lose their initiative and even start bargaining with their parents. Parents choose to use material rewards to reward their children for studying hard and being patient and obedient. It seems that material reward is a perfect way of education, but in fact, long-term use of material reward to motivate children has caused children's bad habits to some extent.
First, long-term use of material rewards will only bring hidden dangers to children.
1. changed children's learning purpose and destroyed their spirit of seeking truth from facts.
For children, the fundamental motivation for learning comes from the desire for knowledge and the attitude of seeking truth from facts. When material rewards are used as bait for children to learn, children's attitude towards learning begins to change gradually, and learning becomes a utilitarian task. Children begin to lack the spirit of seeking truth from facts and regard learning as a means to complete tasks. Parents' long-term use of material rewards will only make children's attitude towards learning more utilitarian, even ambitious and unrealistic.
2. Make parents start to be used by children and lose the initiative.
Long-term use of material rewards to motivate children to complete tasks or study hard will only make parents gradually lose the initiative in the process of material rewards. Parents use rewards to encourage their children to study hard and listen carefully, but in the end they may become children who use their parents' wishes to blackmail their parents and rely on rewards to complete their tasks. In the end, parents will gradually lose the initiative under the threat of children, and even be used by children.
3. Material rewards will only make children more utilitarian and even more greedy.
Children are always curious about new things in life. Brand-new electronic products, even game equipment they have never owned, will attract their attention. When parents use material rewards to ask their children to complete certain tasks, children may form a wrong view of money and think that everything can be achieved through money. The child's desire will gradually expand under the reward of parents, and even go astray.
Learning and doing housework, as a child's own task, originally did not need any reward. However, in order to urge children to complete tasks that lack interest as much as possible, most parents choose to motivate their children by material means. After a long time, children will regard their tasks as requirements for completing material rewards. In fact, in the process of educating children, parents should use material rewards carefully.
Second, how should parents motivate their children?
1. Parents should set an example for their children.
In the process of educating children, parents should start from themselves and provide a good example for their children. In addition, when children are in a learning state, parents should try to reduce entertainment activities, and parents should try to avoid contact with electronic products or even play games. Otherwise, children will question their parents, thus reducing their motivation to learn. Therefore, parents should spend as much time with their children as possible, study with them and help them develop good study habits.
2. Increase interaction with children
In the process of educating children, parents should be able to increase interaction with their children, and parents can share the joys and sorrows of the day with their children through fixed activity time. Through family interaction, parents can establish a good parent-child relationship with their children, understand their bright spots and problems, and help them return to their own behavior.
3. Give children spiritual rewards as much as possible and reduce unnecessary material rewards.
According to the research of American psychologists, it is children who really inspire children to keep moving forward, and the internal driving force is parents' encouragement and support. When children make progress, parents may wish to give spiritual rewards and praise as much as possible, so that children can establish self-awareness. What can really help children realize their self-worth is spiritual encouragement from their parents and elders, not material rewards.
Children are the fruits of parents' life. Parents should constantly learn to change themselves in the process of educating their children and help them know themselves, rather than simply encouraging them through material rewards. Educating children has a long way to go, and parents should keep their hearts.
Third, material rewards should be just right, not blindly excessive.
1. Parents should give their children appropriate material rewards.
Parents should avoid excessive rewards when choosing to motivate their children with material rewards. Parents can give their children the material rewards they usually crave during the holidays. This way can not only avoid the harm of blind material rewards to children, but also give them appropriate rewards, thus achieving the incentive effect.
2. Change the reward rules and reward children from time to time.
Parents who use material rewards to motivate their children should change the reward rules instead of giving them material rewards regularly and quantitatively. What really attracts children to achieve their goals through rewards should be irregular material rewards. Parents should let their children finish the task before rewarding them. When the child completes the task as much as possible, parents can reward him unexpectedly.
Appropriate material rewards can help children gain internal motivation, but blind material rewards from parents will gradually develop a wrong view of money and encourage children to make progress. There are many ways. As long as you master a good method, children will not have too high a desire to accept, which is more appropriate and can encourage children's learning and progress.