Parents are the CEO of their children's life, so they should be responsible for all aspects of their children and educate them from cognitive physiology, social emotion, moral conduct, spiritual culture and so on. The heavy responsibility of education is like a mountain, overwhelming us. What is the right way to raise children? We will become more cautious when choosing the way to teach and educate people. As a teacher and a parent, I was born with negative prejudice, so the contradiction between me and my child became more and more intense as my child grew older. Even when the child is rebellious, the child openly says, "I just want to go against you." I am sorry to hear these words, but after learning from them, I feel that as a parent, I must make a change first!

So, I signed up for the psychology sand table class. Although I felt that many things needed to be changed in class, when I got home, I saw messy desks and littered toys, and everything was returned to its original shape! Therefore, struggling-blaming-trying-returning to the original shape has become the main mode for me to get along with my children! But fortunately, all the attempts have eased the parent-child relationship a little.

Finally, one day I saw the book "Advantage Education" and suddenly felt that there was a dawn in front of me. Yes, we can't always look at children with negative prejudice. The advantages of children need to be seen! Superiority education allows us to see the true side of children instead of forcing them to be Andy, because it provides a clearer and more intuitive scale to define advantages. Once you can discover your child's unique talent or personality characteristics, you can be unaffected by projection. Now I see the messy table and the clothes lying about. I am no longer a mother whose brain suddenly opened wide and her emotions got out of control. I will turn on the child's advantage switch in my mind and short-circuit my negative emotions. I am getting better and better at seeing the advantages of others. I often think that if I can find enough advantages in him, maybe I can inspire him to do something and stimulate their inner potential.

? I still remember when I first read this book, there was a small experiment. I take out a piece of paper and a pen and give you five minutes to write down your child's good points. Just write down the advantages that come to your mind first. Hearing this hint, my mind went blank and I couldn't even think of the advantages of a child. Three minutes later, I still haven't found the advantage of a child. But when I read this book for the second time and saw this place again, I couldn't help laughing. What a ridiculous and obvious advantage, but I don't see any advantage. Once again, I wrote down five or six advantages that belong to children: good rational thinking, high emotional intelligence, filial piety to parents, and humorous cells ... Look, the advantages of children are there, just waiting for us to calm down and learn methods, and then find out.

With a good start, I am more motivated to continue studying. Advantages are divided into core advantages, growth advantages and acquisition behavior. If we want to help children build brain regions that support the development of advantages, we need to create environments and experiences so that children can often play their advantages. The more we use an advantage, the stronger the neural connection of this advantage. These neural chains are interrelated in different brain regions in the form of networks, connecting motor functions, sensory information, abstract thinking and emotions, so these neural chains can strengthen their advantages. Therefore, the experience of exerting advantages can create a neural network based on advantages. Cultivating children's less prominent advantages is not as difficult as you think. It is a process from the inside out, which makes the child realize what positive qualities he is using and helps him practice. After repeated practice, the brain will change and the advantages will take root. What will happen to children's brains if we spend all our time consciously cultivating their advantages and removing their nagging and shortcomings? It takes opportunity and practice to develop our genetic potential, and no advantage is born. Advantage development = sincere ability * hard work is a little advantage and ability of children's genes at first. If parents give them a suitable environment and a certain time, let them use this ability many times, and multiply the two, the result is that children can achieve higher achievements than other children in a shorter time, which psychologists call "multiplication effect". A child who starts from advantages will eventually become strong and competitive, and have a clear understanding of his own advantages and disadvantages; Self-confidence, willing to explore their greatest potential, rather than blindly pursuing the success of external definition; Calm down, he can stick to himself in the face of bullying his peers, underestimating his ability, or controlling partners. The actual level of such children has nothing to do with their advantages from the bottom of their hearts. Their strengths are what makes them passionate, the strength that makes them optimistic and tenacious, and the internal source that inspires them to pursue their dreams.