The correct way for foreign fathers to educate their children
The first critical period: after the child is two years old. At this time, what can my father be like? Hate it? The third party, enter the mother-child relationship circle. In the west, it is a common understanding to let two-year-old children have separate bedrooms to promote their psychological growth. Children and mothers in China can sleep to a great extent. It is no exaggeration to say that many children's psychological problems are caused by this.
The second critical period: when the child is 6 years old. At this time, the father should actively participate in family interaction and the establishment of rules. The only child brings many challenges to family relations. Parents and children need to form an emotional triangle with each other in order to balance family relations. If a father wants to be kind to his children, he must first have deep feelings with his wife.
The third critical period: the child's adolescence. Compared with mothers, fathers who are used to leaving home are more likely to accept and agree with their children's independence. In traditional culture, fathers are often marginal people in the family. They are willing to break into this world and leave their children to their mothers. This kind of father likes to come back and induce adult boys to leave home, take risks with him and enjoy life. Because of the only child, modern fathers play more non-traditional roles, which makes children lose their natural allies and good guides. Modern fathers are subconsciously afraid of losing their only child. They are afraid that their children will be separated from them when they grow up, so they are willing to let their children grope for growth in the inner confusion of the night.
Stones from other mountains: foreign fathers participate in parenting. Let's take a look at fathers' participation in parenting in other countries. It may be a culture, a foreign culture, but it is enlightening for all fathers who love their children.
1. Israel: traditionally, men's authority has been valued. Since kindergarten, men and women have been taught separately. In this case, there is no difference between men and women, and men and women are treated equally in housework and work. In Israel, 95% of both husband and wife work, so it is natural for men to do housework or look after children at home. In addition, there is the custom that fathers talk to their children alone every Sabbath.
2. Britain: British men are famous for attaching importance to parenting. In order to send their children to famous universities, British fathers have attached importance to education since their children were young.
Germany: Germans spend a lot of time at home. Most people work from 7: 30 in the morning to 4: 00 in the afternoon, and so does school. Then most people didn't get together with friends and colleagues, but immediately went home to spend these warm and harmonious times with their families. Most fathers in Germany regard building a house for their families as their greatest wish, and the intimacy between families can be seen.
4. Norway: In Norway, women enjoy paid maternity leave for one year, while men enjoy paid maternity leave for up to four weeks. The Act was promulgated on 1979. So far, about 70% of fathers have taken advantage of this holiday, and Norwegian fathers believe that it is their right to protect their children.
Foreign parents' methods of educating their children
Popular in Korea? Natural parenting?
Among Korean parents recently, what is the natural parenting method? It began to be taken seriously and gradually became popular. ? Natural parenting? The core is to let children's life, education and games return to nature as much as possible, so that children can grow up in a natural state to the maximum extent.
Let the children sleep alone since childhood.
Whether babies or young children, Koreans have become popular to let children sleep alone. Because letting children sleep alone can not only enhance the intimacy between parents and children, but also cultivate children's sense of independence from an early age.
Dr. Park of Seoul Maternal and Child Health Hospital said: In the past, we used to put our children to sleep beside us from infancy. In doing so, some are convenient for breastfeeding; Some don't trust the baby to sleep by himself, what are you afraid of? Some are afraid that children will catch cold under the quilt and get sick when they sleep; Others are afraid of sleeping in separate beds and losing affection with their children. In fact, from the health point of view, it is more scientific to let children sleep alone, because parents and children sleep in the same bed, and the polluted air exhaled by parents is easy to be inhaled by children, which is not good for children's health. ?
What's wrong with playing with mud and sand?
In Seoul, last year and the first half of this year, a total of 50,000 children participated? Playing with mud? . Playing with mud is not only enjoyed by children, but also by parents. In the past, children were afraid that their mother would blame them for soiling their clothes, but now parents think that it doesn't matter whether they play with dirt, sand or water, as long as they have fun, soiling their clothes doesn't matter. Doctors also believe that proper dirtiness is not only good for the mood, but also good for improving the child's resistance. This will help them fight bacteria and viruses and prevent various diseases.
Breastfeeding and cloth diapers
On the issue of food, mothers in Seoul personally went out as models to advertise and strongly appealed? Insist on breastfeeding your child? . Breastfeeding has become a natural and glorious thing. Some mothers are doing breast-feeding performances in the subway, and dad is cheering.
In the past, parents loved to use disposable diapers. Now, for the sake of their children's health, more and more parents use cloth to make diapers. Li, a 33-year-old mother who uses cloth diapers for both her children, said: Although it is a bit troublesome to make diapers and breastfeed, I heard that it is good for children, and I intend to continue to do it. ? By her side, there are many mothers like her.
Don't give the child medicine.
In Seoul, there is a pediatrician who is famous for not using drugs. Dr. Gao stressed:? More than 90% of children's diseases are caused by viruses. Even if you don't take medicine, you will naturally recover after a certain period of time. ?
At the beginning, some parents asked their children to get better soon. Now, these parents believe that only when their children have been suffering, can they overcome the pain. Today, with the development of medicine, it is not too late to take medicine when it is time to take it. ? They very much agree with Dr. Gao's practice, thinking that this can achieve effective therapeutic effect with less drugs and prevent other adverse reactions caused by drugs.
There are still many parents who are upset because their children don't eat. Experts believe that children eat in a certain amount. Don't just pursue quantity, but care about quality. Even if you eat less, let your children eat a variety of diets with high nutritional value, so as to store energy and fight against diseases when they are sick.
Let the children grow up slowly
At Yonsei University School of Medicine in Seoul, Professor Shen of Pediatric Psychiatry wrote a book "Wise Parents Let Children Grow Slowly", the main content of which was against early education, because he saw that dozens of children who were sick because of excessive early education came to see a doctor every day, thus realizing the harm. Professor Shen advocates that when a child wants to learn, he should first observe what the child does, and when he finds that the child is curious about something, he should gently push it behind his back to let the child grow up independently faster.
Professor Shen said that there is no benefit in pulling out seedlings to encourage growth, and children should be allowed to grow up slowly.
Encourage children to take part in adventure activities
Encourage children to do some meaningful adventure activities, such as mountain climbing and rock climbing. Korean parents are popular in cultivating and exercising their children's strong will and brave spirit.
Kim Goodwill, an education expert in Seoul, said: In the past, most of our parents not only discouraged their children from taking risks, but also stopped them as soon as they heard that their children were going rock climbing, mainly for fear that something would happen to them. However, it is extremely unfavorable to cultivate and exercise children's brave spirit and strong will, and it is better to let children grow up in the stormy waves. Nowadays, many families have only one child, and many parents attach great importance to their children's growth, so they should let their children participate in some interesting adventures in nature. ?
Different educational methods at home and abroad
1 play
After talking for a long time, it is estimated that readers don't need me to elaborate, and they will know that Australian families and China families are different in letting their children play. When you are with your parents' friends in China, what do you hear most often? Don't do this! Don't touch that! ? Don't go there! ? Watch out! ? Eyes are tense. Once playing in the backyard of a friend's house in China, their two-year-old boy ran to the faucet in the yard. There is a small plastic bucket under the tap, which is filled with water. Mom immediately said, alas, don't go there, it's dangerous! What puzzled me at that time was that I didn't know what danger a small bucket of water only reaching the child's knees would bring to the child under the care of two adults. Of course, it is not only dangerous, but also wet and dirty, which parents in China think is absolutely impossible. Therefore, when many parents in China just sent their children to local kindergartens, they found it incomprehensible that the children there spent most of their time sitting in the sandpit playing with sand.
The author once passed a neighbor's house on a sunny summer afternoon and saw that the owner of this house was struggling to wash the car with a big sponge, and the car was full of big bubbles. What makes people laugh most is a little boy of two or three years old, with blond curly hair, a round belly and nothing on, holding a small sponge dipped in soapy water and struggling to wash his little bike. There are more bubbles on him than on his car. Both of them are serious, and neither of them cares about the other.
I don't know which of the children who grew up under these two different educational methods will have more diligent habits and independent spirit.
2 wail
I'm afraid it's hard to avoid children crying. But it is usually China children who cry for a long time in public places. It may be coincidence or probability, but this phenomenon is shared by many people, including friends in China.
I don't know why there is such a difference There may be many reasons for this. However, China's parents, grandparents and a big family spoil their children together. This phenomenon may not be disputed by anyone.
In the supermarket, I often hear the words: Mike, please put the canned fish back. Lucy, we don't buy chocolate biscuits today. Let's put them back. . Mike and Lucy are usually four, five to ten years old. If they still have something that their parents don't want to buy, their parents will repeat over and over again: Please put it back and emphasize this point? Please. Words. Usually, children put things back.
Having said that, it doesn't mean that China people have no merit in educating their children. China people generally educate their children to have ideals, ambitions and achievements all their lives (of course, there is also too much emphasis on the so-called? Success? But how do Australians usually treat their children? Anyway, you can do anything you want, as long as it is not illegal. ? In this case, Australian children lack guidance on the direction of life, and the result is often that they delay the opportunity to make progress and waste their talents.
It is said that Australians and China have different ways to educate their children. Generally speaking, Australians are too lax about their children, while China's parents are too tight. It is best to analyze it comprehensively. what do you think?
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