Paper Keywords single-parent family preschool education

Abstract: VIP is a drifting ship, and home is a warm shore. For preschool children, home is safer and happier. However, with the continuous development of society and the change of ideas, single-parent families have emerged as a special family structure. Due to the rising divorce rate and the increase of single-parent families, the education of children in single-parent families can not be ignored. Through family education, children in single-parent families can better face life, adjust their psychological activities, reach a balance point as soon as possible, and promote the healthy development of body and mind.

A single-parent family refers to a family where only one of the husband and wife lives with unmarried children because of divorce and widowhood. It is also called separated family or defective family. The emergence of a large number of single-parent families may be a relief for divorced couples or one of them, and it is undoubtedly a disaster for children. Under the same sky, the children of happy families grow up healthily and happily under the care of their parents; Children in single-parent families are psychologically affected because they lack the care and love of their parents in their lives. Many studies have proved that single-parent families have a far-reaching impact on children's psychology, academic performance and moral behavior.

The influence of single-parent families on preschool children

1. Influence on personality

Pre-school children in single-parent families often live in negative families with depressed atmosphere and lack of parental love. It is easy to form withdrawn, extreme, anxious and other personality characteristics, which will make it cold to people. Before living in a complete and harmonious family, in the face of the sudden breakdown of the family, children can't accept the reality and can't adapt to life without father or mother. The child's psychology is not mature enough to understand the reasons for his parents' divorce. They will think that they don't love themselves and don't want themselves. They are redundant, and their young hearts will not be solved if they are traumatized. Once affected, I don't know what to do, and I am very confused. Especially when other children kiss their parents and play happily, children will feel so happy before, and now life is very painful, and they will feel inferior over time. A child who lives with his father for a long time will be like his father, and a child who lives with his mother for a long time will be like his mother, which will have an important impact on his future behavior.

2. Influence on body and mind

Educating children is the common responsibility and obligation of both parents. For the healthy growth of children, it is very important to have more contact and communication with parents. The economic income of single-parent families will decrease, the living standard will gradually decrease, the father or mother will be very busy, and the children in normal families will absorb less nutrition, which will affect their healthy development. Due to the divorce of parents, children have to give up their old habits and attitudes to adapt to the new life, and can only choose one of their parents to form a single-parent family. This change from the inside out will hurt their emotional attachment to their parents, so single-parent families often have a negative impact on their psychology. Children from single-parent families have experienced quarrels between their parents, family depression and disharmony. After a long time, their dependence on their parents decreased, and they began to doubt their parents, thinking that their parents were not as good as other children, which made them very confused and confused. When this bad psychology is not relieved in time, if it is serious, the child may have unhealthy personality characteristics.

3. Impact on social interaction

Single-parent families make preschool children psychologically traumatized, overbearing and unfriendly to their parents, unwilling to communicate with their parents and unwilling to associate with others. Especially in China, parents of many single-parent families are not allowed to visit their divorced parents. Children living in this environment will feel even more sad when they see other children playing in front of their parents. Coupled with the ridicule of other children, they will be more afraid to communicate with others, and some will not get along well with children.

4. Impact on learning

Single-parent families will inevitably affect children's psychology, not attending classes and not paying attention, which will affect their academic performance. Moreover, parents of single-parent families have busy lives and great pressure, so they have little time to discipline preschool children. They play around without restraint, resulting in poor academic performance, thinking that parents don't love themselves and learning is useless. In the long run, they will not study, their academic performance will drop, and even drop out of school.

Second, the problems of single-parent family education

1. Too strict with children

Some parents pin their hopes on their children, are too strict with their children and have great psychological pressure. A considerable number of parents and children in single-parent families live alone and have higher expectations for their children than their parents' families. Some parents spend all their thoughts on their children, being frugal and trying to satisfy them. They want their children to do what they want and interfere too much in their lives. Once their behaviors do not meet their expectations, they will cause dissatisfaction and accusations. In addition, the long-term fatigue of parents in single-parent families will make them feel helpless, which will lead to excessive education. This kind of excessive education deprives children of their self-esteem, restricts their free development, and easily makes children feel negative about themselves, thus causing problems such as inferiority and self-blame.

2. Poor supervision of children

Parents of single-parent families are under great pressure and have no time, energy and material conditions to raise their children. They often give their children to grandparents of different generations, or neglect their discipline, resulting in management defects. Some parents are immersed in their own pain, ignoring their children's pain and lacking care for their children. Even some parents take a laissez-faire attitude towards their children and abandon them. With the development of China's economy, many enterprises are poorly managed or closed down, and most of their children's parents are laid off, lacking a stable source of income and having to work. For them, it is good to be able to afford their children's education. As for the care of children, there is really nothing they can do. There are also some parents who lack a sense of responsibility, or reorganize their families, and neglect their children's care and care because they are afraid that their children will affect their new families. Some parents even push their children out of the door, which will do great harm to their hearts. Because children don't get attention at home, don't feel the warmth of the family, and don't realize the role of their growth in the family, it is easy to make children feel inferior, make them feel insecure and depressed, and ultimately affect their healthy growth and life.

3. Spoil children too much

Single parents feel guilty because their children have lost their fatherly love or maternal love. In order to make up for it, they overindulge their children and can't give them normal discipline. Children buy whatever they want, and indulge and indulge their children appropriately, hoping to make up for the trauma caused by an imperfect family in this way and tend to spoil their children. Some parents in single-parent families meet their children's unreasonable demands unprincipled in order to win their children's favor. Children who grow up in this environment have problems such as selfishness, poor self-control and impulsiveness.

4. Children lack social interaction.

In single-parent families, many single parents put all their energy on their children and live alone with them. They always keep their children at home and don't let them go out to avoid being bullied and overprotected by others. They educate and train their children according to the goals they have designed for them. Children who grow up under such conditions, because of their lack of experience in getting along with others, will inevitably feel lonely and anxious when interacting with others, which will seriously affect their ability to communicate with others.

Third, the countermeasures of preschool education in single-parent families

1. Be realistic and don't expect too much.

Parents of single-parent families regard their children as their living spiritual strength, expect too much from them, save themselves, pin all their hopes on them, and put them under great psychological pressure. Some children can't adapt to it, so they go in the opposite direction, hoping that their father or mother can pay attention to themselves to reduce the pressure; Other children want to learn too much and express themselves for a long time in order not to disappoint their parents. Once they exceed their psychological endurance, they may collapse. Parents of single-parent families should proceed from reality, and the requirements for their children should conform to the actual situation of their children. At the same time, they should not make their own decisions, but should give their children some freedom.

2. Strengthen the supervision of children.

Although parents of single-parent families are busy, they should also pay attention to their children and have a sense of responsibility for them. Don't lose your temper with your child when you are stressed and in a bad mood, or send your child to your grandparents. Don't take children as a burden, but increase your care for them. At the same time, it is necessary to strengthen the supervision of children. Some parents will form a new family, and some children will be in a bad mood. Pay attention to observing children's reactions, communicate and persuade them, give them more warmth and let them feel their role and status at home.

Don't spoil, cultivate children's sense of independence.

Many single parents are afraid that their children will be unsafe and have an accident. Children are not allowed to do anything. Parents take care of them in every possible way, so that children can develop the habit of reaching for clothes and living within their means from an early age. They also take various measures to restrict their activities, which makes children unable to be independent in everything and have no chance to experience the difficulties in life. Such children lack independent consciousness, and once they leave their parents, they don't know how to face the difficulties and setbacks in life. In this regard, single parents should try to give their children a certain amount of space, don't do everything for their children, let them do something by themselves, and cultivate their independent living habits.

4. Strengthen children's social skills

Single parents should not restrict their children's free activities, but should try their best to create opportunities for their children to participate in society. Although there are few cases of single-parent children being prejudiced by society, incomplete families always make them introverted, depressed, inferior and even withdrawn. Parents should pay special attention to their children's psychological growth and encourage them to participate in society and make more friends while communicating with their children. Parents should help their children, give guidance, educate their children to be self-respecting, self-reliant, self-loving and self-motivated, encourage their children to actively participate in group activities, try not to escape from society, actively communicate with others, and cultivate their healthy, cheerful and optimistic personality.

refer to

[1] D. Family education for preschool children [M]. Beijing beijing Science Press 2007.

[2] Jiao Xiaoling. Analysis of the psychological influence of single-parent families on children [J]. Journal of Xinxiang Institute of Education, 2005(3)

[3] Yang Liling. Study on the problems, causes and countermeasures of children's education in single-parent families [D]. Northeast Normal University, 2004

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