Happiness → Let children learn to care about others.
In recent years, children's status in the family is getting higher and higher. Sadly, the more child-centered a family is, the more self-centered the child is. Lili's mother is deeply touched by this. Before, every time she ate shrimp, she peeled it for her son and never ate it herself. Once she casually stuffed a shrimp into her mouth, but I didn't expect Lili to turn her face at once, crying and making trouble, forcing her to spit it out! Obviously, a self-centered child like Lili will find it difficult to integrate into society in the future.
Myth 2: Today's children are very happy.
Happiness → Let children learn to experience happiness.
Many people think that children nowadays eat well and dress well, not to mention how happy they are.
But happiness is not happy, only the children themselves know. According to the survey, children are the most unhappy in three situations: first, parents quarrel and divorce, and children are frightened, at a loss and worried that no one wants them. Second, when no one is playing. Especially after moving to a new house, parents give their children many restrictions, such as no painting on the wall, no patting on the floor, no playing with water in the bathroom and no fooling around with their companions. Finally, many children want to go back to their old house. The third is to do what you don't want to do. I was forced by my parents to learn painting, play the piano and attend various interest classes.
Safety, communication and autonomy are all reasonable needs of childhood. If these needs are not met, children will not be happy even if they have abundant luxuries and toys. Therefore, a happy childhood is to let children live a child's life.
The main theme of childhood should be happiness and carefree, but children will also have children's minor troubles. Parents should always pay attention to their children's emotional experience, affirm and encourage their children to express their emotions and help them adjust their emotions.
Myth 3: It doesn't matter if you eat and wear. If only it were a little bigger!
Happiness points to → Let children learn to take care of themselves.
Many parents emphasize control when raising their children. They wear a lot of clothes but catch a cold first and feed them until they can't run. As a result, their survival adaptability is poor when they grow up. Many parents of middle school students make mattresses, and college students accompany them full-time.
Parents' arranged substitution deprives children of practical opportunities to take care of themselves. In fact, simple self-help tasks such as dressing, washing feet and face, and sorting out school tools can be done by children themselves. At first, parents should tolerate his incompetence and imperfection. Parents will gradually change from demonstration to hands-on teaching to all talk and no action. As long as you persist for a month or two, there is no life ability that you can't cultivate. In these aspects, adults should be consciously "lazy" so that children can be "competent", willing to let go when they are young, and rest assured when they grow up.
Misunderstanding 4; Try to satisfy the child's wishes.
Happiness points to → Let children learn to restrain their own needs.
Many parents give their children everything they want, for fear that refusing will hurt their hearts. In fact, setbacks in life are inevitable.
If we make a list of what we yearn for, and then tick the wishes that we may meet in the next three years, and 20% of them can be ticked, we will probably be satisfied. The reality is that most children can get more than 75% of their wishes. Many parents are good at restraining their material desires, but they meet their children's requirements without restraint. However, people often don't cherish things that are too easy to get, and the fun they get from them is lost. This is the same for children and adults. To make matters worse, what children learn from it is to get something for nothing. High consumption is not achieved by hard work and sacrifice, but by complaints, threats and demands.
Therefore, parents should be good at saying no to their children and ask them to learn to exercise restraint and bear. An experiment shows that children who can resist their desire to grab delicious chocolate on the table when they are young have much higher achievements when they grow up than those who can't.
The problem is that many parents lack the skills to say no on the spot. The typical process is this: before going to the street, we agreed not to buy anything today, but when we get to the street, faced with the temptation, the children will stay first, then make it clear, and then spill it, and the adults will give in when they feel humiliated. Of course, they still have to say it maliciously, or they will punish you. Obviously, this empty threat will never be fulfilled. Another couple handled it this way: when the child was in a hurry, the couple decided that the mother would come forward and say, if you want to stay here, we will go back first and then turn around and leave. As soon as the child saw that the situation was wrong, he began to chase. After dinner, parents talk to their children seriously, asking them to reflect on today's behavior and take the initiative to make a commitment.
Myth 5: Parents can do housework.
Happiness points to → Let children bear the obligation of labor
When we were young, we were all arranged by our parents to undertake certain housework, but when it was their turn to be parents, almost no one expected their children to help the family. According to the survey, the average working hours of children in various countries are: 0/.2 hours in the United States, 0.7 hours in South Korea, 0.6 hours in France, 0.5 hours in Britain, 0.4 hours in Japan and 0.2 hours in China. In Germany, children are even allowed to participate in housework after the age of 6.
The ultimate goal of family education is to help children build their own lives independently from their parents, and housework is the way to enhance their ability and self-confidence. For example, at the age of 3, he can carry a bench and pass utensils. At the age of 4-5, he can fold clothes and make the bed. At the age of 6, he can clear the table and tidy the room. Children aged 65,438+00 have to undertake certain tasks at home, such as collecting tables and taking out garbage. In short, a child is a family member, so he should be allowed to do his duty to the family.
Myth 6: The bench tripped over you and I hit it!
Happiness Orientation → Let Children Learn to Take Responsibility
Different countries have different ways to treat children when they stumble over the bench. Different ways to treat children have different personality characteristics: China's parents play the bench to appease their children, while children learn to pass the buck and complain about others; American parents "can't see" or interfere. Children learn to get up and walk, which is independent. Japanese parents criticize that children learn to take responsibility and find reasons.
In fact, there are many things that adults don't have to rush to achieve. Let him do his own thing and take responsibility. For example, if his toy is lost, don't buy it for him in a hurry, and let him bear the consequences of being left behind. There is no need to pay for the damage of children's things. Let him pay his own pocket money. Only when he undertakes, will he learn from his mistakes, which is far better than the repeated nagging of his parents afterwards.