-Meng Jiao Case Introduction: Case 1: Ms. Zhou said: "My daughter is very smart, but she is very careless in her studies. In order to urge her to study hard, I cook her a nutritious and delicious meal after work every day, and then accompany her to do her homework and help her with her homework. For this reason, I gave up many opportunities for gathering, entertainment, rest and further study, but my daughter never knew how grateful I was for my efforts. In order to buy my daughter the clothes she wants, I spent hours choosing. When I came back, she was dissatisfied, refused to wear them and lost her temper with me. If there is anything delicious, the children never want to give it to our parents. " Case 2: My child Xiaoyan is 15 years old. He is the only child in the family, so we gave him almost all our love. I didn't go to work and took care of my son every day. He is quite tall and handsome, and his grades in the class are not bad. It can be said that children are still more worry-free. But there is one thing, I have a headache. He is indifferent and selfish at home, especially not filial to his parents, and his family values are very weak. He also yells at his grandparents. Grandparents live with us. He is the only grandson, so they attach great importance to it. Ask experts for help, how can we get the child to get rid of this problem and let him honor his elders? Expert analysis: In China, there are two ideas to teach children gratitude, which come from tradition and contemporary. A traditional teaching in our country, the concept of "raising children to prevent old age" has always been recognized by many parents. They believe that it is undoubted and natural for children to thank and repay their parents in the future. The other is reflected in the new concept of parents today. "Raising children to prevent old age" does not mean "preventing old age". Many parents believe that families with good economic conditions do not need their children to support them when they are old, as long as their children live well. President Chen, who has been teaching for more than ten years, said that China has always been a country that emphasizes "filial piety", and the "filial piety" here contains "gratitude". In fact, no matter what kind of ideas, children should be taught to be grateful, not by coercion or skill. Let the children know that "in the family, not only parents pay for you, but also you should learn to pay for your parents". Gratitude is a person's basic quality, and it is also an important content of children's EQ education.

Many children lack gratitude and don't understand their parents. The main reason is: 1. Nowadays, most children are only children and are loved by thousands. Coupled with the gradual improvement of people's living standards, parents pay more attention to the cultivation of their children and have a material basis to meet their requirements. So they are responsive to their children, take good care of them and take care of almost everything. It is the unprincipled doting of parents that makes children take everything their parents give for granted. Children get too much love, too easily, and naturally don't know how to cherish it, thus ignoring the gratitude to their parents. 2. Children's gratitude and gratitude are not innate and need to be cultivated in the acquired education. In the environment of "exam-oriented education", the evaluation of students' advantages and disadvantages is more about academic performance, so moral education is negligible. Learning well represents almost everything, and the cultivation of children's morality and personality is ignored. This kind of one-sided values and training methods is also one of the reasons for the lack of gratitude. There is a cultural trend of advocating utility, practicality and individuality in today's society. In the communication between people, "practicality" and "utility" usually become the yardstick, which has a certain impact on the traditional gratitude culture, similar to "a drop of grace, when a spring pours back", which leads to gratitude being naturally forgotten in the social environment, and finally gratitude education is obviously lacking and lagging behind.

In case children don't know how to be grateful to their parents, they think that parents are obedient to their children, and they don't eat, let their children eat, don't wear, and let their children wear. It's hard. Instead, they make children feel that parents should do this. Case 2 Xiaoyan's indifference to the family is mainly because the elders did not educate the children to respect, love and honor their parents when raising their children, and did not let the children form the consciousness of respecting and honoring their elders from an early age. In addition, parents are children's first teachers, which is very important for their growth. Parents are the reference of children, and everything parents say and do is in the eyes of children. If Xiaoyan's parents are not nice to her grandparents, Xiaoyan will imitate them. Therefore, how parents treat their elders, he will treat their elders. So caring for today's old people means caring for tomorrow's self. If you are kind to your parents, children will naturally form a sense of respect and filial piety towards their elders. Expert advice:

Gratitude comes from psychological satisfaction, from tolerance and understanding of people and things, and from a good attitude of repaying others and society. Gratitude can promote mutual trust, mutual understanding and mutual respect, help to establish good interpersonal relationships, and make people have a positive outlook on life and a healthy mentality. In order to let children know how to be grateful and constantly experience and feel the happiness and harvest of growing up in gratitude, parents need to work hard in the following aspects: 1. Do something to love children, don't do everything yourself.

Adults really need to take care of younger children, but they can't replace them. If parents protect their children too much, then children will gradually get used to their parents' arrangements, get used to it and enjoy success. Over time, it will be difficult for children to thank their parents for everything they have done. The solution is that when you teach your child a service, you should let him take responsibility. For example, if a 5-or 6-year-old child learns to wear shoes by himself, parents should try to let him do it by himself instead of doing everything. Sometimes, let your children help you with your shoes and socks, and do what you can to serve them, and gradually cultivate their awareness and habits of serving their parents. 2. Rationally meet children's requirements.

Parents should first think about whether the children's demands are reasonable. If they are unreasonable, they should resolutely refuse, tell the children why they are unreasonable, and give them some opportunities to suffer setbacks. If a child thinks of stars, don't give him stars, but give him the moon if he thinks of the moon. Children should be allowed to fight for what they need. When a child gets what he needs through some efforts, he will know that he is happy with the love and protection of his parents. At the same time, parents should not give their children too many promises in advance. Some parents always want to provide their children with the best food and clothing and the best living conditions. After a long time, the child will feel that all this is easy, and even think that he should have it, so he doesn't know how to cherish it. 3. Let children learn to share.

At the beginning, children give things to adults, and adults will say no, and children can enjoy them at will. Over time, it will make children feel that it is natural for him to eat and have good things. If a child is used to being given and only knows how to take, it will be difficult for him to consider the feelings of others in his later life. A person who doesn't know how to share can hardly become a caring person in the future. Every time you give your child something to eat, you must share it in front of the child, so that the child can understand a truth: you should let your parents eat first and plant the seeds of "humility" in your young mind. At the same time, it also means trying and sharing food with each other to show concern and enhance the feelings between the two generations. 4. Let children learn from their parents.

If parents are both parents and children in the family, they should pay more attention to their image in front of their children and always pay attention to their words and deeds. How parents treat grandparents will be imitated by children. Words and deeds have a greater influence than example. If there are old people at home, give them something delicious first and give them gifts on holidays. If the old man is far away, call him often. Let children see that their parents love not only themselves, but also their elders. The power of example is far greater than words and deeds.

Many people have seen such an advertisement on TV: a young mother who just got off work finished housework and brought water to wash the feet of the elderly. The old man said to her, "have a rest, son!" " Don't wear yourself out. "She smiled and said," mom, not tired. "The young mother's words and deeds were seen by her son who was only 3 or 4 years old. The son silently brought a basin of water. The youngest son walked towards his mother with a basin of water. The water in the basin spilled all over the child, but the child still had a bright face. Put water at mother's feet and wash her feet. This is the power of example. 5. Accept the child's "giving" with pleasure.

When children want to help you, parents must not say "Don't worry, just study hard". This will dampen children's enthusiasm. Moreover, the biggest responsibility of parents is not to let their children learn to read, but to let them learn to be human first, which is the basis for him to study hard and study hard. If children know how to give and return, they will know how to cherish and understand. If your child gives you a gift, no matter how rough it is, you should accept it gladly and express your gratitude to your child. Sometimes you can show your children's gifts to relatives and friends to let them know how happy you are to receive their gifts. 6, often chasing children.

Over time, children often forget their parents' upbringing, and parents just do their duty silently, without complaining and rarely care about remuneration and expectation of return, which will lead children to "deserve it" in the face of parenting. After the child is sensible, parents can explain to the child some past events in the form of memories, which will be imperceptibly printed in the child's memory, which will gradually increase the psychological role of the child in filial piety. Don't take these things as a "mantra", it will be counterproductive.

In fact, we should be grateful not only to our parents, but also to teachers, relatives, classmates, society and so on.