Full-time nanny Xiaoxiao
On June 27th, the creator of the field of quality parenting.
With the rapid development of society, people's material conditions are getting better and better. Many parents will reward their children to do something, such as ensuring that their children eat on time and take them to the amusement park, and buying a toy when they ensure that they do well in the exam. Parents reward their children more and more, but their children are becoming more and more disobedient.
More and more parents find that children's mentality will change when they face rewards. From the beginning, parents will reward them for doing well, and in the end, children will ask their parents to reward them for what they have done. If parents don't reward, children won't do what they like, and even I don't want rewards, so I won't do it.
We say that this development trend is not good for children's future, because parents can't reward everything in their children's future life. So, what should parents do in the face of this situation? How can we use rewards correctly to motivate children to do the right thing?
First, use more spiritual rewards.
Nowadays, in order to save trouble, many parents often use some material rewards, such as buying toys for their children, taking them out to play, or letting them play with mobile phones. These are typical material rewards. When children face these rewards, they will think that I have this reward because I did it, which is not helpful for children to have internal motivation.
However, spiritual rewards are different. Can stimulate the child's inner motivation. Always use spiritual rewards, such as praising children more, taking children to meet some excellent people and let them learn. This kind of spiritual reward can fully stimulate the inner motivation of children.
Second, the reward should be changed.
Children want different things at each stage, and the rewards will vary according to their age. Children may want a car when they are one year old, and their parents may be asked to take them out to play when they are 2-3 years old.
At each stage, children want different things. Parents should learn to change the reward according to their children's different ages, and must make the reward conform to the children's true wishes in order to really play the role of reward.
Third, stimulate children's internal motivation.
No matter how parents reward them, they are not as good as children who really want to do it. So how can we make children really want to do something? It is to stimulate his inner motivation and let the children discover and understand the happiness of doing it.
For example, if you want children to learn, you should let them know what the happiness of learning is. After learning, you can meet more outstanding people and see different scenery, instead of just letting children see the boring side of learning.
Fourth, parents should learn to set an example.
Many parents obviously don't do it themselves, but they ask their children to do something, such as reading books every day, exercising every day and not playing mobile phones. However, if a parent comes home and plays mobile phone on the sofa every day,
So how do you ask your child? Just by reward? Parents should know that the role of rewards is only assistance, and the more important role is to let children realize from the heart that what they are doing is right and can have fun in things.
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