Horizontal motivation and vertical development
In China's children's education, praise and criticism are common educational means. Teachers like to use horizontal comparison methods, such as using small red pens, small red flags and ranking tables to encourage children to see who is doing well. When correcting children's bad behavior, we often praise other children and follow other children's example. On the other hand, American teachers generally don't praise or criticize children. The reason is that criticizing your child will stimulate your child, and praising your child will stimulate other children. They pay attention to the vertical development of children themselves and avoid comparing with each other.
Collective spirit and personal development
China people emphasize that individuals obey the collective, and they should be consistent with the collective. If there is any inconsistency, they need to adjust their behavior. Americans emphasize personality differences, and teachers always arrange activities according to children's different personalities and abilities. The goal is to make each child a unique individual different from others.
Steady, obedient and lively.
When China people evaluate children's temperament, "being steady and obedient" is a great advantage, and "obedient children are good children" has reached a consensus among China people. School education emphasizes order and restricts children's behavior with various rules. Americans like children to be naive. In primary schools and kindergartens, children are allowed to talk casually and even fight with each other. Americans always think that children in China are too rigid and lifeless in class.
Emphasize self-control and highlight autonomy.
Teachers in China always encourage children to specialize in something for as long as possible, so as to cultivate their perseverance and patience. They emphasize the social development of children's self-awareness and guide children to gradually learn to adapt to and control their emotions, while American teachers often encourage children to engage in various activities in a short time to cultivate their flexibility and creativity, pay more attention to the natural development of children's self-awareness and encourage children to express their thoughts and emotions freely and naturally.
Affirm the result and attach importance to the process.
China pays attention to the mastery of results and skills; No matter what you learn, study deeply for the sake of learning, no matter what you do, strive for perfection. Americans pay attention to the increase or decrease of process and ability. They pay attention to children's sense of participation, and children have many opportunities to choose freely. Teachers also strongly encourage children to play and create freely, and cultivate their imagination and creativity.
To sum up, China tried to let children discover the existence of society and create an environment for children to learn how to grow up. Children are passive and flexible, and they focus on growing up with the help and guidance of adults. America strives to make children truly children. Children are active and creative. Self-realization is the child's own nature and development. Adults only need to provide favorable conditions.
Cross-cultural comparison of family education between China and America;
In today's increasingly fierce international competition, this kind of competition is, in the final analysis, the competition of human quality and the competition of talent cultivation. We know that the primary position of talent training is family. Therefore, in a sense, the competition of talents is the competition of parents' parenting ability. Therefore, all countries in the world attach great importance to family education in the educational project of cultivating talents in the new century. Although family education has attracted great attention from all walks of life in our country, especially in the education field, there are still some misunderstandings in the education of many families in our country today, which even becomes a stubborn disease, seriously affecting the formation of good quality of the younger generation. Therefore, learning from the valuable practices of other countries in family education will be very enlightening and vigilant for getting out of the misunderstanding of family education in China. This paper attempts to compare the relevant aspects of family education between China and the United States, analyze the reasons for the differences in family education between the two countries, and then put forward some enlightenment for the reform of family education in China. We can't assert that the people trained by American families are ideal modern people, but they are reasonable components in their country's family education; It is precisely what our family education lacks. Therefore, some practices of American family education can provide reference for China's family education reform.
First, the comparison of the results of family education between China and America.
Different educational purposes, contents and methods will produce different educational results. From the comparison of the results of family education between China and the United States, we can see one thing:
Generally speaking, children and adolescents in the United States have shown the following characteristics since childhood: positive personality, calmness when encountering problems, being able to live in harmony with others, cheerful and bold personality, perseverance in overcoming difficulties, courage to think and do, and innovative spirit; Strong self-reliance ability, strong social activity ability, confidence and courage to exist independently as a member of society. /kloc-at the age of 0/8, I began to rely on my family, and most of them worked to subsidize their own consumption. With the mind to adapt to the market economy, they have participated in "self-financing" since childhood and learned some "management methods" such as sales and communication with customers. Practice has made them know that money is hard to come by, thus forming the habit of careful calculation and thrift. In a word, American children are characterized by mature non-intellectual factors and strong ability to adapt to society smoothly.
However, children, teenagers and even college students in China, although their academic performance is no less than that of American children, tend to show negative tendencies in their personalities: passivity, timidity, dependence, poor interpersonal skills, lack of self-reliance, poor ability to manage their own finances and poor ability to live independently. In short, there is a lack of ability to adapt to society. I'm afraid these characters and characteristics of China children have a lot to do with China's tendency of "academic education". Parents want their children to hide in the ivory tower of the school and study hard at the cold window to prevent them from struggling in the rapidly changing society.
What kind of educational results are more acceptable in modern society? The motive force of social development is human initiative and creativity, which requires the full liberation of human nature. With the progress of human civilization, human beings will pay more and more attention to the development of human nature and people's abilities in all aspects, so what modern society needs is dynamic and comprehensive people. Obviously, family education in the United States can better cultivate "people" with flamboyant personality, creativity and viability, while family education in China cultivates so-called "talents" who are "disciplined" and "can read". This is the result of "exam-oriented education" implemented by families and schools in China, which will seriously affect the physical and mental quality of young people in China. Therefore, it is urgent to reform the family education in China.
Second, the process comparison of family education between China and America.
Looking back on the process of family education from the results of family education, we can see that although family education is not institutionalized and the quality of parents is uneven, as an important aspect of the education system, it has certain educational purposes, educational contents and educational methods, just like school education. Among them, the purpose of family education is the starting point and destination of family education activities, and the content and method of family education are determined according to the purpose.
1. Comparison of educational purposes
The purpose of family education restricts the direction of family education and determines the overall effect of family education, so the purpose of family education is the core of family education and the root cause of the differences between China and the United States. The purpose of family education is to cultivate the educated into what kind of people through family education. Once the purpose is determined, the content and method of education are selected accordingly. So, what is the difference between the purpose of family education in the United States and China, or parents' expectations of their children?
The purpose of American family education is to cultivate children into "social people" who can adapt to various environments and live independently. The expectation of this purpose is not high. "Social man" is not an ethereal ideal, but a plain, easy-to-operate and broad requirement. Therefore, American parents can treat their children's education more easily, maximize the positive factors in their children's personality, and let their children realize their self-worth. Even if the goal is achieved, we will not pursue some utilitarian goals such as high education and good career. But in fact, such education has produced many "unintentional" effects, and genius is produced inadvertently. In addition, under the guidance of this goal, it can really cultivate children's independent consciousness and ability to survive independently. Look at American children at all stages: sleeping independently since childhood; Play by yourself when you can walk, and few parents hug you. If you are older, you will have your own space, and the children will be responsible for the decoration, layout and cleaning of the room; They have been doing paid services within their power since childhood, such as cleaning, babysitting and delivering newspapers. And when they get to high school or university, they will work hard and study hard in exchange for living expenses.
In contrast, the purpose of family education in our country is to cultivate children into "talents", who are promising and have a good career and spend their lives in prosperity. First of all, this goal has high expectations and strong effectiveness, because "promising", "good career" and "prosperity" are not general goals and are difficult to achieve. For this purpose, China's parents are particularly concerned about their children's academic performance. The only requirement for children is to sit quietly and concentrate on reading and studying art, but ignore their talents and limit their creativity. As a result, in order to cultivate so-called "talents", they stifled their talents and produced many effects of "deliberately planting flowers and not giving them away". Moreover, because children's personality, social adaptability, civic awareness and other issues are rarely considered, even if their academic performance is good, they may not be able to stand on the society smoothly in the future, and sometimes they will completely live up to their parents' expectations.
2. Comparison of educational contents
What kind of educational goals there are, what kind of educational content there will be. American family education is rich in content and pays attention to the harmonious development of children's physical strength, cognition, language, sociality and emotion, which can be called "quality education". In promoting physical strength, we should attach importance to children's outdoor activities and physical exercise, such as swinging in the courtyard and hiking in the wild; In the development of cognition, we should pay attention to training children's various senses, broadening their cultural aesthetic vision and their interest in learning. For example, when parents borrow books or study in the library, they like to take their children with them, so that they are influenced by the surrounding environment and have a desire to learn; In the cultivation of sociality, educate children to serve themselves and do their own things, and ask them to learn to cooperate, share and help each other with their peers; In terms of emotional cultivation, we should guide children to appreciate the beauty of music, art, dance and literary works, such as taking children to art galleries and museums to watch various exhibits, encouraging children to participate in artistic creation activities, and letting children personally contact and experience the mysteries of nature, such as taking children to travel in forest parks, swimming in waves, rock climbing, etc.
Although the content of family education in China can also be divided into four aspects: morality, intelligence, physique and beauty, it is often when children enter school age (some even before school age) that they begin to put intellectual education in an overwhelming position, which makes the educational content tend to be unbalanced. In sports, families in China ensure the nutrition of children's growth and development, protect children's safety and attach importance to the prevention and treatment of diseases. Compared with the United States, this kind of education is defensive, static and passive protection, and greenhouse cultivation can not play a role in strengthening the body. In intellectual education, it is necessary to impart knowledge and skills to children, such as buying children all kinds of informative and interesting reading materials and training children's reading, writing and calculation skills. When children begin to receive school education, family education tends to be school-oriented. Parents supervise learning, check homework, buy problem sets, conduct naval battles with problems, and cope with endless exams. In aesthetic education, more and more parents realize the importance of "one skill", so they blindly cultivate their children's special artistic talents, such as sending their children to painting classes, singing and dancing classes, and hiring tutors to teach them to play the violin and electronic organ. On the one hand, this kind of quick success and instant benefit ignores children's interest, on the other hand, it often increases children's burden because it consumes a lot of time and expenses.
In contrast, American family education is relatively rich and scientific, while China's family education is narrow and not scientific enough. For example, in family education, parents in China tend to pay more attention to the low-level contents such as children's body shape and posture, attach importance to ensuring children's nutrition, and attach importance to disease prevention, but often ignore physical exercise. Children exercise less outdoors, stay at home and watch more TV, and their obesity increases. Intelligence can be divided into true ability and potential, and true ability is practical ability, that is, what you know and what knowledge and skills you have. China's family education ignores skills, such as practical ability, coordination ability, life skills, labor skills, work skills and so on. And the United States pays special attention to these skills in the cultivation of sociality. In their view, these skills are the foundation of a person's foothold in society. Family education in our country ignores part of practical ability and potential, which can be divided into learning ability and creative ability. On the surface, our parents attach great importance to the study of knowledge and only attach importance to the low-level part of cognitive ability in space. This part can cope with the exam, but it will never constitute the creativity of the future society. In a series of social surveys on the cultivation of teenagers' creativity, they were asked how parents would react if they found their children disassembling the alarm clock. 40% parents reprimand and warn their children, and 48% parents treat their children in an impatient, disdainful or perfunctory way, which shows that our parents' understanding of creativity cultivation needs to be improved. In contrast, American parents pay attention to the cultivation of children's various interests and hobbies in cognitive development and attach importance to the cultivation of innovative spirit. Many experts in the United States do not advocate letting children remember something they don't understand too early. After the children came home from school, China's parents asked their children the first sentence: "Did you remember what the teacher taught you?" "How many points did you get in the exam today?" The first sentence of American parents asks, "What questions did you ask the teacher today?" "Is today's class interesting?" . This reflects the different understanding of intelligence between Chinese and American parents.
3. Comparison of educational methods
Family education is a concrete measure and means for parents to complete the educational content. What kind of educational model to choose is closely related to a country's cultural traditions, styles and habits, historical background, and is also restricted by educational purposes. On the other hand, whether we can properly choose and creatively use scientific educational methods is related to the realization of the purpose and content of family education.
Generally speaking, American families receive education mainly in a democratic and equal way. Parents respect their children's personality and human rights, regard their children as independent and equal family members, and establish a democratic and equal relationship with them. However, there is a relative lack of democratic and equal family education methods in China, and children are not respected as equal people with their parents.
The educational model of American family democracy is: (1) children have the right to speak and participate at home, and American parents encourage their children to "reserve their opinions", "be stubborn" and "be disobedient", and allowing them to "be disobedient" mainly refers to "be disobedient" ideologically. According to the research of American psychologist torrance, a characteristic of children with high creativity is naughty and stubborn. (2) American children have the right to choose. When children's cognitive ability has been initially developed, American parents attach great importance to letting their children make their own choices and decisions. They can choose games and books. When they grow up, they can choose their friends, their careers, their marriage partners and their marriage time. American parents will not replace their children's choices. They mainly instruct children how to make choices, or stand behind them, give them confidence and encourage them to "observe with their eyes". (3) American parents are friends. They can communicate on an equal footing and have a close relationship. (4) American parents respect their children's privacy.
China's family education model is: (65,438+0) Children have less right to speak and participate in family life, while China's parents ask their children to obey the rules and be persuaded without objection. As former US President Nixon said, "China's education system has trained them to be very tame since childhood, instilling the idea of listening to adults since childhood, and not allowing them to have independent opinions, let alone' deviant' as Einstein claimed. This kind of education can only cultivate professional talents, but it has lost Darwin and Einstein in China. (2) Children in China have little choice and autonomy, and many things are done according to their parents' wishes or arrangements. (3) China's parents often appear in an authoritative position in the family, so they are far away from their children. (4) China children's privacy is often violated, schoolbags are searched, diaries are peeked, and actions are followed.
American parents advocate open education: (1) Pay attention to practical exercise, and emphasize training children in practice instead of preaching. Americans believe that children should do everything by themselves. In the process of completing tasks, they can improve their awareness, accumulate experience, master skills, enhance their abilities, cultivate their interests, and enhance their self-confidence and sense of responsibility. It can be said that American parents are "keys to open the door for their children" rather than "opening the door for their children". (2) Pay attention to playing games. Americans think that play is the most important thing for children of this age. In America, children have plenty of time for various hobbies and sports activities, and there are places for activities everywhere. Parents often take their children out to play on holidays and weekends, and develop their intelligence in the process of playing, such as perception, imagination, judgment, reasoning, interpersonal communication and emotional adjustment.
Parents in China are mostly closed education: (1) They mainly preach and despise the important role of practical activities. Parents' requirements for their children are learning, and even the self-care activities they can do are arranged by their parents, which leads to the futility for many children in China to learn a lot of knowledge, and they will learn nothing after entering the society. (2) There are few outdoor activities, because children in China have endless homework from morning till night, and they are overwhelmed by homework; Sometimes it is difficult to find a good venue even if you want to exercise.
Democratic education is a kind of relaxed education, which has many advantages: First, it is conducive to the cultivation of innovative spirit. Relaxation is an important condition to stimulate children's creativity. Under pressure, children's creative spirit will be suppressed. Only in a peaceful and happy family atmosphere can children's interest in knowledge be stimulated. To create a relaxed environment, it is necessary to establish a democratic and equal relationship with children. Secondly, it is conducive to the cultivation of healthy personality. After children have the right to speak, participate and choose at home, they have strong initiative, strong sense of autonomy, courage, confidence and sense of responsibility. In addition, harmonious family relationships make children willing to tell their parents secrets, and parents also know their emotional world, which can help children form a good character. However, authoritarian education is a way to restrain education, creativity and personality development.
Third, the reasons for the differences between Chinese and American family education
As both modern society and parents who attach importance to family education, why are there the above differences between American family education and China family education? Generally speaking, the reasons for different education are:
First of all, the differences in historical background.
The United States is an immigrant country with a relatively short history. Old ideas and cultures are rarely preserved. Under the influence of multiculturalism and ideological values, they can quickly accept new ideas and cultures, with less constraints on development. Therefore, they are more adventurous and innovative. However, China has a long history and culture, and at the same time it is bound by many old shackles, especially the long-term influence of feudal small-scale peasant consciousness. Most of its cultural values are introverted and conservative, lacking adventurous spirit and creative consciousness. Obedience and obedient education is instilled from childhood. Relatively speaking, it lacks an environment for accepting new ideas.
Second, the differences in economic models.
The United States has advanced productive forces, developed commodity economy, more employment opportunities and less pressure to survive. Moreover, the United States is a "capable society", with a sound employment mechanism, free labor circulation and many job-hopping opportunities. Therefore, Americans have a more open concept of career choice and a wider range of career choices. American parents believe that as long as their children can survive in society in the future, their careers will be high and low (legally, of course). In addition, "the commodity economy makes the relations of production always in a restless change" and the occupation is constantly changing, so parents should not expect their children to be prosperous all their lives. Therefore, the purpose of American parents' education is to cultivate "people", which is more macroscopic and broader, and should be constant and changeable. However, China is backward in economy, under great pressure of survival, and it is also a "society with academic qualifications" with poor industry mobility. Therefore, people in China tend to pin their life happiness on a certain occupation, and their choices are narrow. China's parents think that getting good grades, finding a good job and a stable life are the best way out. Therefore, the purpose of China's parents' education is to become "talented" ("talented" refers to excellent academic performance, being admitted to a good school and getting a high degree).
Third, differences in social conditions.
The United States has good economic conditions and sound social security for the elderly. Parents don't think that raising children is to prevent old age. When they are old, they can go to nursing homes without any worries. Therefore, to raise a child to the age of 18 and become an independent, responsible and compassionate person is to fulfill one's obligations and complete the task of raising a child. How the children go in the future depends on their own struggle. Parents don't think much about whether they can honor their ancestors and get promoted and make a fortune in the future. In China, due to poor economic conditions, imperfect social endowment insurance and some outdated concepts, children's education is more considered from the perspective of personal pension or personal honor and face, and children are regarded as their own private property, so the methods and methods of education have been fully reflected. Many parents regard beating and scolding their children as a private matter within the family, and no one has the right to interfere, let alone be bound by law.
Finally, the differences in cultural traditions.
1, with different values.
Americans value individuality, value orientation is individualism, personal interest, personal development and self-realization, which are the core of American culture. An American scholar hit the nail on the head and pointed out that in a democratic society, every citizen habitually ponders a very small goal, and that is himself. In the family, the individual is the standard, the individual has the highest value, does not depend on the existence of others, and is independent of family relations. Therefore, in American families, parents tend to regard themselves and their children as two independent individuals, and "ego" includes parents' ego and children's ego. First of all, the realization of children's self-worth obviously needs to respect their wishes, interests and hobbies. It varies from person to person. American parents pay more attention to personal enjoyment, and they will never give up going to concerts, movies, dances or dates for their children.
China people emphasize commonness, have the value that the whole comes first, and emphasize that collective interests are higher than individual interests. China people believe that man's way of being human is generated in the antagonistic relationship between "two people". Since ancient times, the concept of "self" has been accompanied by others, and personal value can only be reflected in the relationship with others. In China's family, parents lose their self and don't respect their children's self. In China, parents' loss of self shows a serious sense of "parent-child integration". Parents regard their children as the continuation of their own values, regard them as the whole of their lives, the hope of life, and have an inseparable sense of integration with their children. In this way, parents will replace their children's interests with their own will and design their children's future from the perspective of adults, so the expectations of parents in China are too high relative to their children's abilities.
Americans value individuality, while China values generality because of its economic background. In the modern capitalist economic structure of the United States, the vibrant commodity economy prematurely excluded the natural economy and ruled for nearly a hundred years. Individuals are relatively independent under the condition of commodity economy. Only by improving and expanding themselves can they stand and develop in the competition of commodity economy, so they have developed a tradition of attaching importance to themselves. However, China's natural economy lasted for thousands of years, and China people were habitually bound to the land, so individuals lost the conditions for independent development, and decades of planned economy failed to get rid of China people's dependence. Personal development often requires "relationship", and the evaluation of individuals is carried out by comparing with others, so I like to integrate into the collective and avoid being isolated.
2. Different ways of thinking
Americans are rationalists, and American family education advocates treating family members and family affairs with the basic principles of rationality. Most American parents regard the obligation of raising and educating their children as an obligation to society, which goes beyond their personal position, rather than looking at family education completely from the interests of the family itself or parents themselves. Since they think it is an obligation to raise children, they don't want to raise children in case they get old. When they are old, it is appropriate for them to go to a nursing home alone (of course, what these China people think is immoral stems from the social security mechanism and cultural habits in the United States).
In China, kinship is paramount, while in China, family education is based on human relations, and emotion is the law to deal with family interpersonal relationships. Parents in our country regard their children as their private property, and consider their children's education from the perspective of personal pension or personal honor and face, which implies a strong "return gift" complex in the meticulous love of parents. Therefore, it is not difficult to understand why parents in China are far more eager for their children's success and their daughters' success than those in the United States, and often make the purpose of family education utilitarian.
Four. conclusion
This article is a general comparison between Chinese and American family education. Family education in the two countries must have individual particularity, and in fact, compared with China, family education in the United States has obvious shortcomings (such as being too laissez-faire, causing many social problems to children and adolescents; Too rational makes children lack the sense of responsibility to support the elderly; Paying too much attention to "happy learning" makes the learning level of children and adolescents decline. Obviously, this article does not want to completely affirm the family education in the United States, nor does it want to completely deny the family education in China. The author tries to trigger the reform of family education in China through the comparative analysis of Chinese and American family education;
1, the purpose of education-changing "talent" education into "adult" education. Through the analysis, we can see that, on the whole, the educational purpose of American families can cultivate more innovative talents to adapt to the development of modern society. Undeniably, there are misunderstandings in the atmosphere of "exam-oriented education" in family education in China, and short-term and utilitarian educational purposes have stifled many geniuses. To change the status quo, we need efforts inside and outside the family. Macroscopically, with the improvement of social productivity, the strengthening of social competition and the opening of people's concept of choosing a job, a person's comprehensive quality will be paid more and more attention by society, and this comprehensive quality is actually the most basic "adult" education. Taking "adults" as the purpose of family education will make our family education go out of the misunderstanding and make the growth of teenagers more suitable for their own and social development.
2. Educational content-changing "one-sided" education into "comprehensive" education. At present, because the purpose of family education is "becoming a talent", the misunderstanding of educational content is that intellectual education is overwhelming. This kind of education will make children develop lopsidedly and become people who can only "study hard". Such people will not be able to adapt to the ever-changing social environment. Therefore, the purpose of "adult" education has been established. In the family, parents should improve their children's comprehensive quality. To improve their comprehensive quality, we must change one-sided education into comprehensive education, especially the cultivation of potential, morality and temperament.
3. Educational methods-change "controlled" education into "relaxed" education and "closed" education into "open" education. Influenced by China's traditional culture, in families, parents' authority over children is often greater than democracy, which is not conducive to the healthy growth of teenagers. Modern society should advocate "loose" education and "open" education.