Chapter one: Psychological decompression. Don't be a "smelly boy" in the workplace.

Chapter 2: Psychological Decompression: Analyze your personality from your ordering habits.

Chapter three: psychological decompression, shouting three times to drive away fear.

Many people are always anxious at work and easily angered by others. They are "smelly pipes" in the office. So what can be done to help us improve our temper? How does psychological decompression face mental illness?

Psychological decompression will not make the workplace "smelly"

When people are angry, what they do is often thoughtless, and the consequences may even make you regret it later. Moreover, in the workplace, it is inevitable to pay attention to many things and people, and the relationship with colleagues and superiors must be handled well. So, what should you do when you feel extremely upset?

First of all, let's look at the root cause of your bad temper and becoming a "smelly bucket". Only by knowing the reason can we find a more reasonable solution to the "symptoms".

1, dissatisfied with the status quo and disliked the job.

Tip: Will giving up this job make you happy?

People without jobs are busy looking for jobs, people with jobs hate the workplace, and there are not a few people who can't get out of trouble. Some people suffer because they can't find a job, while others suffer because they have a job. If this job is the source of your pain, why is it so difficult to quit? But will quitting really make you happy? This question is worth pondering.

My suggestion is to focus on "how to feel this job, or how to stick to your job". Don't shift your pain to the reason why I don't like this job. Instead, we should try our best to eliminate the pain, and then cultivate our mind and nature.

The boss is so hateful that he is disappointed in him and wants him to pay attention to you at the same time.

Hint: That's someone else's life. You have no right to interfere, just be yourself!

Ms. Liu, a foreign company employee, is 30 years old. She is very upset about how to get along with the female boss and often feels restless. She said, "The female boss's mood in the company changes day by day, she is disorganized, goes with the flow, never cares about other people's feelings and speaks unkindly." But what really bothers her is, "but it seems that I have bigger problems." I always hope that she can recognize my ability and pay attention to me. I can't even stand her paying attention to other colleagues. If I don't see her after work, I will also think,' Yes, she is just an ordinary person, with no vision and wandering around all day. On the contrary, I need to admit and love a poor person! Thinking like this, I seem to understand her bad temper, but once I met her in the company, I couldn't help watching her blink and act. She made many mistakes in her hurry! Then the mood is even worse. "

Let's analyze Ms. Liu's problem. First of all, she thinks there is something wrong with her boss. She thinks it is abnormal to show herself in front of this boss. In fact, her mistake is that she thinks the boss is a problem, so there is no need to worry about his opinion. So, how to solve this problem of Ms. Liu?

First, take off the colored glasses. You know, no matter what this person says or does, it's just words and actions. In fact, you feel uneasy and angry only because you are using your own values to measure whether other people's lives are tilted. Turns out she tortured herself, not you. In fact, no matter what she says or does, it is her own life, and it has nothing to do with you. You should realize that your restless and angry self is interfering in other people's lives. Your son can't grow up according to your expectations, let alone your boss.

Secondly, "believe that everyone is unique and live seriously and intently." This sense of self-esteem will make you respect others, understand and accept others.

Can't get along with some people and conflict with you on the issue of principle.

Tip: There is no absolute right or wrong in the world, and your principles may be unreasonable to others.

Why are you angry? There must be such a person whose words and deeds make you unbearable and think that he has violated your bottom line. So, have you ever wondered whether these words and deeds have caused everyone's anger? Not exactly. Some people find it hard to accept, others think it's nothing. If his words and deeds only consider his own position, it is really disgusting.

For example, when Jews express their opinions on certain issues, their Jewish compatriots are convinced, but their Christian friends nearby may be unhappy. People in some areas shook their heads repeatedly, while people in other areas applauded the policies announced by the president.

Therefore, it is not someone's words and deeds that cause your anger, but that you are now under the illusion of where you are. In other words, it is not he who makes you angry, but you are angry after hearing what you say and observing what you do. Angry because you think "I was wrong about him", so angry is actually a reaction when you are too attached to your own views or values.

My advice is, if you don't want to get angry, just let go of the idea that "I'm right". There is no absolute right or wrong in the world, and your principles may be unreasonable to others. Know how to reflect on yourself when you are angry: I am extreme again, and I think only myself is right. This is a kind of cultivation.

Psychological decompression: analyze your personality from your ordering habits.

When you go to a restaurant or hotel with friends or others, when you order, you usually:

A. Regardless of others, just order what you want to eat.

B.order the same food as others

C.tell me what you want to eat first.

D. sequence first, and then change according to the surrounding conditions.

E. hesitate and take your time.

F. Ask the clerk to explain the dishes before ordering.

Answer analysis

Answer:

A: You are an optimistic and completely informal person. Decisive, but hard to say right. It is reasonable to look at the price first and then make a quick decision; Choosing the person you want to eat is enjoyment; Those who decide by comparing price and content are stingy.

B: Most of these people follow the crowd and do things cautiously. Often ignore the existence of self. People who have no confidence in their own ideas and often follow others' opinions immediately are easily influenced.

Type c: straightforward and open-minded, saying things that are difficult to say easily and casually. This kind of person treats people casually. Maybe it's for people, sometimes it's a little bitter and won't be annoying.

D: You are a cautious person, and you are hesitant about work and making friends. This type of person gives the impression of weakness. Rich in imagination, but too rigid in details, lack of overall awareness.

E: Be meticulous in doing things and put safety first. But your caution is often caused by over-consideration of the other party's position. You can listen to others' persuasion sincerely, but don't forget your own point of view.

Type F: People with high self-esteem hate other people's orders and always stick to their own opinions before doing anything. Pursuing Excellence in everything. Take the initiative in dealing with people and pay attention to the faces of both sides.

Psychological decompression shouted three times to drive away fear.

Once fear is spoken, the past will be ironed on the clothes of life and will not attack you like a ghost in the air.

Teacher Huang of Taiwan Province Province believes that the final and most effective way to eliminate fear is to find the bottom line of one's own fear and then face it.

According to the face of fear, face it frankly, there are three levels of fear: the first level is the fear of things themselves; The second level is fear of losing the value behind it; The real fear is that you feel powerless to cope with this loss.

For example, many people are afraid of public speaking, which is the first level. On the second level, you find that what you are really afraid of is not public speaking, but speaking out loud. However, in the deepest place, what you are really afraid of is not your failure, but your inability to lift it. That's your inner confidence and fear.

A teacher from New Oriental came to Beijing to compete for a trainer from New Oriental Group. This man is the chief lecturer of New Oriental Campus, and he is quite famous now. However, the thought of facing trainers (a group of older trainers in New Oriental) tomorrow makes him feel weak. I don't think I can do anything about it. He knocked at my door in the middle of the night and said you were a psychiatrist. Is there any good way?

According to the degree of hate analysis:

The first level of fear: this person is afraid of public lectures.

The second level of fear: this person is not afraid of giving lectures in public, but he is afraid that he will not be recognized by the judges.

The deepest fear: he is not afraid of not being recognized by the judges, but afraid that he is unable to face the situation of not being recognized. He didn't dare to think that the self with the highest evaluation in the central school would be evaluated: you are actually very average.

I took him to test the bottom line of fear: "What will you do if you are scolded tomorrow?"

He thought for a moment and said, "Actually, it's nothing, and their comments are not necessarily right. This is actually an opportunity for me to learn. "

I said, "Don't be so rational. This is not your style. What is your inner sentence? "

He thought for a moment and said, "Actually, I want to say that this is my level. It is also the first place in the local area. Do you like it or not? "

"Very good." I said, "Now you can go out and shout three times,' I am the best at this level, and I am the first in the local area. "Do you want to hear it or not?" I'm not afraid to shout three more times before I go on stage tomorrow. "

It is conceivable that the trainer judges in the classroom were scared by his foul language outside and shocked by his wonderful lectures.

From then on, every time the New Oriental teacher was afraid to go on stage, I accompanied him at the door of the classroom and shouted, "This is my level." It is also the first place in the local area. Do you like it? "Very effective.

This is fear. A coward, when you touched his bottom line, accepted the worst result, and then began to prepare for a big fight with him, he didn't know where to hide.

Conclusion: Everyone's personality has small shortcomings of one kind or another. Only by constantly changing yourself can you make your character more perfect. (The article was originally published in Urban Healthy People, serial number: 2065438+March 2002, by Liu Jingting and Zhang Jian, and the copyright belongs to the author; The purpose of reprinting is to convey more information, which does not mean that 360 Common Sense Network agrees with its views and is responsible for its authenticity. Please contact us as soon as possible if it involves content, copyright and other issues, and we will delete the content as soon as possible)