Parents' confusion about educating their children
Confused 1 Children don't want to be good students.
The netizen asked:
As a businessman, I seldom care about children. Now my child 10 years old. One day, he suddenly told me that he didn't want to be a good student. I was surprised and helpless, and asked the experts for help.
Dai, executive vice president of Chengdu Dai's Education School, replied:
Generally speaking, children aged 10 are unlikely to rebel. If you don't want to be a good student, you may have witnessed what is called? Good student? Some of his children's experiences or performances made him reject.
Is the diagnosis correct? Good student? standard
Parents are advised to find time to talk to their children about what a good student is, make clear the concept of a good student in their children's minds, and ask them if the good students they meet have any bad performances or experiences. Then through the children's answers to the above questions, we can understand the children's moral orientation and value judgment. Give active guidance on the basis of understanding children's ideas and help children establish correct? Good student? Standard. At the same time, let powerful teachers intervene and establish lasting influence channels, so as to actively and effectively correct children's ideas.
Confusion 2: The child moved to a new kindergarten and didn't want to go.
Netizen asked: My daughter is six and a half years old and has been in the original kindergarten for three years. I transferred her to a new kindergarten in early June, but she still didn't want to go to this new kindergarten. Crying every morning. Sometimes the teacher is too crooked (terrible), sometimes I want to play at home, and sometimes I don't like the teacher here. There used to be a class of 40 children in that kindergarten, but now this class is only 19. In the past, the kindergarten had two dance classes and two abacus mental arithmetic classes every week, which she liked very much. There are none in this kindergarten now. I wonder if this is the reason why she doesn't want to go to kindergarten. Ask the teacher to help me analyze it.
Wang Ying, director of renhe spring Avenue Kindergarten in Chengdu and Singapore Caierfang Kindergarten, replied:
In this case, first of all, the mother should understand the crux of the problem, not only to go to the kindergarten where she once attended to understand the child's usual hobbies and performances, but also to the kindergarten where she is currently attending.
Diagnose the crux of the problem and give children more time to adapt.
Kindergartens communicate with teachers about children's current situation and find out the root causes. Then, we should communicate with the children and find out the reasons why the children refused this kindergarten.
In my opinion, the former kindergarten had her good friends, hobbies, familiar environment, teachers who recognized her, and a kind of psychological security protection, but these things have not been completely given to her in this kindergarten now. So she will find all kinds of ways and reasons to refuse everything here. Or because the child enters a completely unprepared and unfamiliar environment, she will feel that her parents have not given her the opportunity to choose and have not respected her ideas.
At present, parents should give their children enough time to adapt, tell them why they chose this kindergarten, let them accept it voluntarily, continue to cultivate their hobbies and help them adapt to the new environment smoothly.
Confusion 3. If the child has bad study habits, diagnose and make plans and supervise the implementation.
Netizen asked: My son will be in the sixth grade next year, but his study habits and enthusiasm are not good. Do you have any good ideas?
Teacher Qin, the special-grade teacher in Sichuan Province and the director of primary school Chinese teaching in municipal schools, replied:
Children's study habits are gradually cultivated by their parents when they are young, so parents should spend more time on their children.
First of all, parents should communicate with their children more often and ask them about their study.
Secondly, it is necessary to make a reasonable study plan for children and supervise the implementation of the plan. When children show a series of bad study habits, parents should find the reasons and then patiently guide them to make them aware of the influence of bad study habits on their studies.
Finally, parents should encourage their children and give them confidence in learning. As long as they have good study habits, they will gradually become interested in learning and their enthusiasm for learning will be improved.
Confusion 4 children don't want to go to cram school
Netizen asked: My child scored 30 points in the college entrance examination English, and he signed up for a cram school. After a few days, if he doesn't go, he will die. What should I do?
Ye Jianming, the principal of Chengdu Jianming Foreign Language School, replied: There are many reasons why parents enroll in cram schools, but children are unwilling to cram. Most children, especially those with poor grades, have not made much progress after the cram school. Parents spend money, students spend time, and as a result, their grades are always criticized and they don't want to make up any more.
Let the child try to read the diagnosis for a few days before making a decision.
Parents must understand such children. Parents' responsibility is to find schools and teachers that their children are satisfied with, and to avoid the situation that students are unwilling to go because they don't like cram schools.
The simplest way is to ensure the learning effect by training institutions and teachers; It is best to let children try it for free, and then make a choice on the basis of understanding the teacher's teaching methods and contents.
If the school doesn't guarantee that there is no free audition, but just tells you that you are a famous teacher or how many excellent students you have taught, such classes may not be suitable for your children.
Confused 5 children are stingy
Diagnose as soon as possible and cultivate children's ability to resist setbacks.
Netizen asked: What should my son do if he is stingy? Who has any ideas?
Teacher Chen Shulin, educational consultant of Chengdu New Thinking School, replied:
Children are stingy, which may be related to introversion. This kind of children always hope that everything they do is successful and correct, and they will feel sad if they have any shortcomings and failures.
As parents, on the one hand, we should cultivate and train our children's ability to resist setbacks as soon as possible, such as giving them in life.
Set some small obstacles, take children to participate in activities and games in training camps, and encourage and support children to overcome obstacles; Encourage the child when he can't finish it, and make him believe that he has the ability to finish it, but it takes a long process.
As a father, we should bring our children into contact with unfamiliar environments and people, let them communicate with different people, open their minds, broaden their horizons and enhance their self-confidence and independence.
Parents' methods of educating their children correctly
First, lead by example: example is an important way to influence and educate children with other people's good thoughts and behaviors. For example, classmates, neighbors, teachers, heroes and model figures, positive figures in literary and artistic works, and excellent qualities of revolutionary leaders are all objects for children to learn and imitate. Whether parents' words and deeds are right or wrong, they have a far-reaching impact on children. Therefore, parents should always show themselves everywhere in their daily lives.
Second, environmental edification: parents should consciously create a good living environment so that their children can be infected and edified. Family is the main place where children live. Parents should organize their own lives, handle the relationship between members, adhere to the correct moral behavior as the criterion, form a United and harmonious family atmosphere, establish an orderly life order, and cultivate children's beautiful sentiments.
Third, criticism and punishment: both criticism and punishment are negation of children's bad thoughts and behaviors, but the latter is an educational means for serious bad thoughts and behaviors. When criticizing and punishing, we should first fully understand the situation, grasp the specific situation and severity of bad thoughts and behaviors, and proceed from the wrong reality. Criticism means pointing out the harm and ideological roots, denying their thoughts and behaviors, making them feel ashamed and miserable, and then generating the motivation to correct their mistakes. When criticizing, don't be sarcastic, sarcastic or abusive. Punishment is mainly deprivation of certain rights, not corporal punishment, not insulting personality and destroying body and mind.
Fourth, guide the arrangement of life order: a good life order is an effective way to cultivate children's good habits. Guide children to arrange their daily lives, arrange their living environment, and teach them to study and use their time in an orderly way. Let the children make their own arrangements, and parents can give directions.
Specific methods for parents to educate their children.
First, educate children? Learn to be a man?
Educating children to learn to be human is the main and fundamental task of family education, and it is also the core issue of implementing the concept and requirements of quality education. Educating children to be human is to attach great importance to children's ideological and moral education. As parents, we can't value intellectual education over moral education. Because what is more important than knowledge is ability, and what is more important than ability is morality. Family education focuses on educating children to be human beings, mainly to improve their ideological and moral level, cultivate their habits of observing social morality, and enhance their legal awareness and sense of social responsibility.
Second, educate children? Learn to seek knowledge?
There are many ways to learn knowledge, but the most important one is to cultivate children's good study habits. Bad memory? Knowledge, but focus on understanding, learn to use knowledge flexibly.
Third, educate children? Learn to work?
It is necessary to guide children to participate in housework as much as possible, support children to participate in social welfare work, and cultivate their self-care ability and work habits. Children who study and work from an early age will benefit for life. Diligence is the foundation of all virtues, and laziness is the root of all evils. Therefore, it is a compulsory basic course for family education to arrange children to participate in labor from an early age.
Fourth, educate children? Learn to stand on your own feet?
Children will encounter many ups and downs when they grow up. Therefore, parents should cultivate their children's independent ability, the ability to face setbacks bravely, and the ability to improvise, so that children can learn to hone their wings, spread their wings and fly, and educate their children in a vast world? all-round development
Fifth, family education needs innovation.
At present, the current situation of family education in China is not optimistic, the biggest reason is the fracture and failure of family education tradition in China. In fact, most of the contents of family education are inheritance rather than innovation. As long as children are educated according to their parents' experience, they probably won't make mistakes. But the problem now is that the family education experience we have gained cannot be referenced today. Therefore, every parent in contemporary China is groping.
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