Xicheng Town, Youxi County, Fujian Province, Hangmo Hall Calligraphy Training Center.
Hanmo Hall Calligraphy Training Center, Chengguan Town, Youxi County, Fujian Province.
Many parents told me that when educating children, there is a problem that is very tangled: everyone knows to teach children to be kind, but they are afraid that children who are too kind will be hurt by others. They asked me: What should I do?
I told them that children must be taught to be kind. But it is not enough to teach him kindness, but also to let children understand that society has a sinister side and learn to protect themselves.
Some time ago, our circle of friends was screened by the first anniversary of Jiangge's murder. I believe everyone knows this. Jiang Ge, a China girl studying in Tokyo, took in Liu Xin, a fellow countryman who just broke up with her boyfriend. Liu Xin's boyfriend Chen Shifeng came to harass and threaten many times. Jiangge wanted to call the police, but Liu Xin begged again and again for fear of revealing her privacy. Finally, Jiangge didn't call the police. When Chen Shifeng came to see you again, Jiangge let Liu Xin into the house to protect his friends, and kept Chen Shifeng out by himself. As a result, Jiangge was stabbed to death by Chen Shifeng outside the door. Liu Xin didn't come out to stop him. He hid in the room unharmed. Even more chilling, after the murder, Jiangge's mother came to Japan, and Liu Xin refused to see her. She didn't even say a word of comfort to a person who raised her daughter, and she didn't send Jiangge the last journey, so it has nothing to do with her. Jiangge can be said to have sounded the alarm for all the good children in the world with his young life.
There is a passage in Mencius' Heart to Heart: "It is not fate, but obedience, because those who know destiny do not stand under the rock wall." It means: nothing is not determined by fate. Conforming to fate means accepting normal fate, so people who know fate will not stand under dangerous walls. This passage of Mencius can be understood as follows: suppose you are wandering in the street at ordinary times and suddenly the billboard falls and hits you. This is your destiny and a normal phenomenon. But if a typhoon comes, you don't know how to find a safe place to hide. You walk in the street and get hit by a billboard. This is not a normal fate, but you find yourself dead. As a gentleman, you should have a sense of self-protection, know what danger is and try to avoid it.
Jiangge has more kindness than self-protection. She should know that she is just a weak woman, not Iron Man, and she can't protect another woman in front of a crazy man. She should know that a person who refuses to let his friends call the police because he is afraid of revealing his privacy, and puts all the troubles on his friends, without considering his own personal safety, is extremely selfish. This kind of person is not suitable to be a friend at all, and it is not worth risking your life to help her. By the way, it is said that Liu Xin broke up with her boyfriend because she was kept by others and was afraid of calling the police to reveal her privacy.
We should educate children to be kind and help others, but we should not ask them to help others regardless of themselves. For a long time, we all took educating our children to "sacrifice themselves to save others" as a virtue, but now I find that this kind of education is hooliganism. The premise of helping others is that you must have this ability, and you must first ensure your own safety, otherwise it is not kindness, but stupidity. 20 12, an incident happened in Loudi city, Hunan province. In order to save a family of three strangers, 27-year-old Deng Jinjie jumped into the rushing river to save people. The last three people were saved, but he was drowned by the river. A family of three who were rescued ashore drove away in a hurry, moved overnight after coming back and disappeared without a trace. Deng Jinjie's father can't stand the blow. He had a stroke, and his mother cried her eyes half blind. Deng Jinjie ruined his family because he "sacrificed himself to save others". Is this what our education wants to see?
There is a passage in chapter 22 of The Analects of Confucius, Yan Yuan, asking about benevolence, and Confucius said, "Love". Confucianism advocates "benevolence" and that people should be kind and love others. But the "benevolence" advocated by Confucianism is hierarchical. There is a passage in Mencius Hui Liang Wang Shang: "The old are old, the young are young, and the young are young". Take care of your own old people, then put yourself in others' shoes and take care of others' old people; Take care of your own children, then put yourself in other people's shoes, and take care of other people's children. The "benevolence" advocated by Confucianism means loving yourself first, then putting yourself in others' shoes, and then loving others. Confucianism does not advocate "self-sacrifice". It doesn't even take care of the elderly and children of its own family, but thinks about the elderly and children of other people's families every day.
I saw a piece of news on the internet earlier. A father took his son fishing and met a mother with another child. The two children were playing by the river. As a result, they accidentally fell into the river. After hearing the cry for help, the father jumped into the middle of the river to save the child washed away by the river, ignoring the pleading of another child's mother. When the father rescued the child ashore and went back to save another child, the child had been washed away by the river. The mother cried and accused her father: "You are really inhuman. My child is close to the shore and your child is far from the shore, but you have to save your child first. How can you be so selfish! " The father hugged his shivering son who had just been saved and said, "Sorry, for me, children are my life. Let me give up my child to save yours. I can't do it! " "
After reading this news, I think what this father said is very good and very human. Asking a father to "sacrifice himself for others" and abandon his own children to save others' children is a kind of abnormal moral concept that violates human nature. Every child is irreplaceable to parents. As parents, we must teach our children to learn to protect themselves before considering kindness and others. If possible, never drag other people's hatred on yourself, whoever causes trouble will solve it, never use your body as a gun target of others, and never use your life to pay for other people's mistakes at any time.
Article source: Empty talk