This year, you didn't come to my dream. I know you don't like me crying, so I don't cry. You said you wanted me to be fine, so I'm fine now. You said that Yin and Yang are different, so you can't come to me and let me take care of it. I just hope you can take time to give me a dream and chat with me. I have a lot to say. Although time can heal wounds, it can't dilute unforgettable memories.
How can I put it? It has been half a year since my husband died at the age of 4/kloc-0, and it has been more than three years since he died. In the first year, my son and I didn't even go to other people's homes for fear of being rejected by others. However, in order to make children grow up healthily and reassure their loved ones, I have no time to be sad. I want to be optimistic and cheerful, work hard and work part-time at weekends to make money and pay off my debts. Tired to the extreme, but unable to sleep and afraid of the dark, I gradually got into the habit of having to drink and turn on the light before going to bed. I also want to find someone who loves my children and me, but I have a high degree and have experienced such a difficult few years. Now, I attach too much importance to the tranquility and warmth when I get along, so I am really afraid of the "excitement" involving too much second marriage life. Even if my son teases me at any time and doesn't find out, I will become a table tennis player, and no one wants it. In the past four years, I have used all kinds of unusual "crazy tricks" to turn this introverted child into an increasingly sunny 178cm boy. With my own efforts and the help of my parents, I paid off all the loans and debts at the end of 20 19. After unloading the huge economic burden, I can finally find a quiet post and tidy myself up. My 15-year-old son is also striving for the military life he yearns for. Everything is fine, as long as you work hard and actively adjust your shyness.
How to get rid of the pain and loneliness after widowhood? It is difficult for people who have not experienced it personally to understand the ups and downs.
A few years ago, the death of my lover gave me and this family a heavy blow. How painful it is to lose a spouse in middle age, a father in childhood and a child in old age! I can't eat, I can't sleep, and I lost weight in three months 17 kg. One day, looking at my parents' old back and a monk's underage son, I suddenly realized that this family needs me, and my parents and son still need me. I can't fall down. I must be strong!
When my classmates from other places knew about my situation, they invited me out to play, and my parents also supported me to go out for a walk. Special thanks to parents and classmates for their help. When people are very depressed, they especially need family and friends to lend a helping hand. Chat with friends, have a chat, and pour out the bitterness in your heart. On the way back, looking at the mountains and rivers of the motherland, I felt a lot more open-minded.
Although I have suffered the misfortune of life, I still have to live. Since I want to continue to live, why not make my life better? In order to use the car at home, I began to learn to drive; Pick up the half-finished doctoral thesis and continue writing. A year later, I passed the defense of my doctoral thesis. Since then, my teaching and research work has gradually been on the right track.
Although life and work seem normal, I am still lonely inside, although I have parents and children to accompany me. A kind friend introduced me to someone, but I still couldn't accept it at that time. I have a good relationship with my lover. At that time, I even thought that I would never find a second person in my life.
Admittedly, time is the best medicine to cure mental trauma. Three years later, I really got out of the bereavement and met him now.
Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get, bitter or sweet. All you can do is savor it. As long as your heart is full of hope and positive energy and you dare to be yourself, you can still taste the unique fragrance of chocolate.
In the face of widowhood, pain and loneliness are inevitable stages. To learn to accept and face the reality, it is best to chat with family and friends often, go out for fun and find something to enrich yourself. In this way, you won't have too much time to let yourself fall into pain and loneliness, and leave the rest to time.
I am 37 years old. /kloc-my lover died unexpectedly 0/2 years ago. At that time, I felt completely deceived. My relatives were afraid that I would be frightened and told me that it was okay to go to the hospital. I have dilated pupils and comforted myself to go to the hospital. Taxis will not be pulled when the situation warrants. There's nothing I can do. I took him to the hospital with a tractor. When I checked the equipment, I saw a line, and I was completely scared. I picked up the phone, but my mouth was silent. Two people sat down. I was really dead at that time, as old people often say. I haven't touched a drop of water for half a month. My relatives are so scared that I can't get over it. Indeed, I forgot my son. I only knew that there was something important in my heart, but I couldn't remember it was a child. Looking back on the road we have traveled in recent years, it is really sad to turn an 82-year-old man into a 60-year-old man. The environment has really changed a person, but it is also destroying a person.
The pain of thanking people after the death of their spouses should be the same, but how to get out of the lonely predicament in spirit is different for everyone who has had such pain. This should be mainly related to the different influences of emotional factors and personal psychological factors of the original husband and wife after the widowed. Frankly speaking, after my wife died, it was probably five or six years after my wife died that I really recovered to a normal mental state. During this period, I lost the confidence to continue my life several times, both mentally and physically. Later, two things changed my wishes for my future life. First, my children drive me to travel. The second and most important influence is that my son let me have grandchildren. I'm terribly sorry. I have no good way to introduce myself in this respect. I can even say that I am a failure. To sum up, it is a little memory after my wife died. If there is anything worth learning, it is luck. thank you
It is difficult to get rid of the loneliness and helplessness of widowhood. It will take a long time. People who haven't experienced it will not feel the pain and helplessness. Only those who have experienced it have an unforgettable experience: the once warm home has become cold, and there are too many warm memories at home. Seeing everything at home, every corner is a painful memory. Because these are the things he (she) touched and the places where he (she) lived together. Every time I see the faces of children who look like lovers, I feel very painful and unable to extricate myself.
I have endured this kind of pain, and I can't get out for years. I used to work hard, make money desperately, arrange my time well and reduce my thoughts. But every time I come home after a hard day, I can't help but climb into my heart as soon as I open the door. How can you find a new lover in this mood?
Later, I had to buy another suite a little far from home, and left the home where he lived with the children without anything. Including the clothes he once bought for me and my children. I haven't been back for a long time. I only call my neighbors once in a while to ask how they are doing. It's been almost nine years now. Although I have come out of pain and helplessness, I still can't forget it and can't accept new feelings.
This is the pain and helplessness of our widowed group.
I am very moved to see this problem. Some time ago, a relative died unexpectedly, leaving a lonely wife and two daughters.
The eldest daughter is married, the youngest daughter goes to college, and the once happy family is broken overnight.
The saddest and most helpless thing is my wife. After the funeral, everyone returned to normal life, and the wife could only cry silently at home all day.
She wanted to talk to someone, but she was afraid of disturbing other people's lives, so she decided to go out to work so that she didn't have to look at things and think about things at home. All her relatives support and encourage her, hoping that she can get out of the pain as soon as possible.
In 20 14, I started mining in Kunlun mountain. When I entered the mountain in August, I once photographed the love of a pair of cormorants. At the end of September, I entered the mountain again, leaving only one. I was turned away when I asked the workers. /kloc-entered the mountain again in October, and the surviving cormorants were still waiting in the deep valley of the glacier. You know, cormorants. When the next spring came, there were no cormorants in the valley. ...
Widowhood is one of the most painful things in life. Only those who have experienced it can understand loneliness and helplessness. Migratory birds are still like this, let alone people.
If I say I'm out of danger, in fact, if I were you, I wouldn't be able to get out. And I know I can't make the same mistake as San Mao. In fact, doing that that night was just like Sanmao's father criticizing her. It was selfish.
The only thing that can be suppressed is time.
Strictly speaking, it is useless to get out of bereavement and comfort and consideration from relatives. Only time can make the strong come out slowly.
To answer this question from a psychological point of view, I personally think that I can also let myself cry, cry and shout, that is, release my emotions. If not, even find a quiet place to play the piano and sing.
In this way, you have spent the most difficult initial period of widowhood, so you need to change your environment (an environment that can't evoke the past) and adjust your heavy mood.
Only those who have experienced it can appreciate the loneliness and helplessness of widowhood. How to get out of the predicament? Let me tell you, that is, you will never get out of this predicament, and this pain will accompany you all your life. It can only be said that with the passage of time, the feeling of loneliness and helplessness changes from heavy to light, and loneliness will become more lonely with age. Because there is no room for others in your heart, and no one will bring you happiness. Loneliness means losing happiness and happiness. If you are happy every day, you will not feel lonely. Sometimes, I also want to try my best to forget everything, get out of the predicament and face the reality, but the reality is not as simple as I imagined. Every festive season, for the widowed, the holiday is the most difficult, and it is sad at the sight. In daily life, nothing can go smoothly. When you are confused, you will feel lonely and helpless, and sometimes you will be happy because you have happy things occasionally. At this time, you will think, if only he were here on this occasion. Therefore, I said it is really difficult to get out of loneliness and helplessness, but I can only give time to let time dilute sadness, loneliness and helplessness. Time is the best medicine, there is no choice!
You will feel lonely and helpless after losing your spouse. How can we get out of this dilemma?
According to what I have seen and heard, I think there are several ways to learn from:
First, after being widowed for a year, my sad mood has calmed down a little. You can find a matchmaking agency or introduce yourself through friends, get to know each other, get to know each other and share the same interests, and then you can form a new family. Holding a group to keep warm is better than being lonely! It is said that a good mood can lead to a long life.
Second, live with children, help each other in life, and enjoy family happiness with grandchildren. The feeling of loneliness and helplessness will also be alleviated.
Third, playing cards, playing chess, singing and dancing in nursing homes. Or go to the university for the aged, increase new knowledge, have new fun and make new friends. In this way, the feeling of loneliness and helplessness will disappear.
Fourth, join a tour group and go out for fun.
Fifth, keeping some small pets, cats and dogs can also make people forget their troubles and feel lonely and helpless.
Sixth, if conditions permit, you can also live in a nursing home.
In short, mentality is the most important thing, depending on what you think and do. I think as long as you have confidence and a good attitude, you will get out of the predicament of loneliness and helplessness after widowed. I hope the widowed people in the world will not be lonely and helpless.