At noon today, I finished reading Natsume Sasaki's classic work Heart. Seeing this book reminds me of his classic quotation: The moonlight is really beautiful tonight. Natsume Soseki's works are very delicate, hands-on, step by step immersed in the book, and his mood fluctuates with the change of the protagonist.
This book mainly tells the story that the protagonist in the book used some careful machines to satisfy his own desires because he was not sincere to his friends, which led to his friend's suicide, condemned by his conscience and finally chose to commit suicide.
The author and Mr. Wang met at the seaside. Because I am curious about Mr. Wang, I try my best to get in touch with him and want to be friends with him. When I first met Mr. Wang, he was very cold and always gave people a sense of alienation, which made me very depressed and made him want to get in touch with Mr. Wang more. He also wants to find out why Mr. Wang doesn't like to have too much contact with others and wants to go into his life and heart to get to know him, but Mr. Wang never takes the initiative to talk about his feelings and experiences.
In the process of getting along with Mr. Wang, the author understands that Mr. Wang is a man with many secrets, and he is unwilling to trust others in his heart. It is not easy for him to ask questions without telling the author. Until the author had a dispute with Mr. Wang, Mr. Wang expressed his willingness to tell the author about his past when he was ready, hoping that his experience could be used for reference by the author.
After graduating from college, the author went back to his hometown for some time. In the meantime, I received a letter from Mr. Wang, hoping that the author could go to Tokyo. Because his father was ill and his health was getting worse, the author had to stay in his hometown to take care of his father and could only refuse his request.
Soon after, the author received a heavy letter from Mr. Wang, in which Mr. Wang described his past experiences and the reasons for his suicide.
Mr. Wang's parents died in high school, and his son was entrusted to his uncle before his mother died. However, a few years after his parents died, his uncle embezzled his property. This incident makes Mr. Wang suspicious and hardly trusts anyone.
After leaving his hometown, Mr. Wang moved out of the school dormitory and wanted to rent a house outside. Soon, he moved to the home of a military widow and rented a single room. In the process of getting along with the military spouse (wife) and his daughter (young lady), he slowly opened his heart and fell in love with the military spouse's daughter, that is, young lady, but he still often doubted the thoughts of his wife and young lady and never showed his mind.
A year later, in order to rescue his friend K from the quagmire, he invited his friend K to live with him, hoping that his friend K could communicate with others more and become interested in things and people in the world. With the help of Mr. Wang, K is no longer always silent, and his words are gradually increasing. But K also fell in love with the young lady in the process of getting along with her and confessed his thoughts to her husband.
Hearing K's idea, Mr. Wang was very envious. When K asked himself how to deal with this feeling, Mr. Wang said that K should pursue his so-called "Tao" instead of indulging in the ambiguous relationship with children. At the same time, in order to avoid K getting ahead of me, I took the lead in confessing to the landlord's daughter. Mr. Wang secretly told the landlord that he wanted to marry a young lady secretly, without telling K. Mr. Wang got what he wanted
K was heard from the military wife, and I heard that K was no different in peacetime. Mr. Wang always thought K didn't know. When Mr. Wang was ready to confess to K, he found that K committed suicide. His suicide note reads: I don't know why people who are already dying are still alive.
Mr. Wang understands that K actually had the idea of suicide a long time ago, but he stayed with him to support him and invited him to live together. In the process of getting along with the landlord's daughter, he gradually found the meaning of living, had the expectation of life, and temporarily gave up the idea of leaving this world.
However, when Mr. Wang wanted to marry the landlord's daughter, K's last ray of sunshine was blocked by dark clouds, and his hope of life was dashed. There was no reason to live, so he chose suicide to end his life. Only then did Mr. Wang realize that he had saved K and killed K himself.
Knowing this, Mr. Wang condemned himself day and night. First, he was intoxicated and paralyzed himself. Later, he felt that his work was meaningless and he did nothing all day. His wife's love for him and his love for his wife made him tear back and forth between suicide and not suicide. Finally, I made up my mind to die and make amends.
Mr. Wang said that no one can be trusted. Many people are good people in their daily lives, but when faced with key issues, such as money and love, they will become completely different people. Because of the dispute with his uncle, Mr. Wang was full of doubts about human nature and vowed never to be an uncle. But for the sake of love, Mr. Wang changed from a person who hates his uncle to a person who likes his uncle.
Many people say, don't test humanity, because humanity can't stand the test. Everyone is a natural egoist, and he will put himself first in everything. Knowing this, we can understand many things that we are angry about.
However, we are our own masters and can choose our own choices. If you know that once you do something you regret, you will be condemned by your conscience day and night. It is better to be strict with yourself from the beginning, set up your own principles, and match words with deeds.
I also hope that when we see the darkness, we will always believe in the light, and we can still pursue happiness after experiencing sadness.