Family is the first school in life, and parents are the first teachers of children. The importance of family education has long been self-evident, especially in the highly competitive social environment, young parents are more aware of the importance of family education for their children's future growth and success. But the reality tells us that children's education is not a simple matter, it is a systematic project that needs to consume a lot of time and energy. Many successful parents have told us a common experience, that is, to strengthen communication with children. Having a harmonious family and good communication is very important for a child's growth. An educator once said: "The most basic form for parents to educate their children is to talk to them.
I am convinced that the best education in the world is obtained unconsciously by talking with parents. "Obviously, communication plays an important role in family education. However, how to communicate effectively is the most difficult and urgent problem for every parent.
1. Strengthening communication between parents and children has become an important part of modern family education.
Marx once pointed out: "The occupation of judges is law, the occupation of missionaries is religion, and the occupation of parents is educating their children." As a child's first teacher, parents must educate their children in various ways, and communication is one of the most important ways. The rapid development of the times also exerts a subtle influence on children's ideological changes. Therefore, parents should learn to put themselves in the shoes, follow the changing pace of the times, and observe and think about the world with their children. If parents always keep their educational methods and concepts at "when we were young" or "when we were young", there will be a gap and a generation gap between them and their children. We should know that "different times have different methods", and we should not treat children living in today's world with old methods and old thinking. Therefore, the unique effect of communication plays a particularly important role in family education.
Family education is essentially an activity process of parent-child communication, and its communication effect is directly related to the success or failure of family education. In real life, we often hear parents complain about how difficult and disobedient their children are, and even run counter to their parents' ideas. When something goes wrong, children often take an evasive or even lying attitude. They would rather close themselves than let their parents get close to their world and participate in their lives. In children's psychology, they think that there is a generation gap between their parents and them, and they can't understand and communicate with each other, so they completely despise their parents' discipline and even have a rebellious attitude towards their parents' preaching, thus forming an antagonistic deadlock. It can be seen that poor communication not only causes incomprehension and emotional obstacles between parents and children, but also seriously affects the effect of family education, making the extremely important family education lose its due role and significance.
Second, the reasons for poor communication analysis
People need to improve their understanding and deepen their feelings through communication, so for innocent children, their young hearts are growing and changing all the time, so they need the care and help of their parents more. And good communication will build a bridge between parents and children, connecting and blending with each other. It is helpful for parents to establish a deeper emotional foundation between parents and children, and help parents find and understand their children's psychological problems in time, which is not only very beneficial to their physical and mental development, but also enables parents to become friends and bosom friends who share happiness and grow together. It can be seen that good communication plays an important role in family education and is one of the important factors that affect and determine the success or failure of education. So, why are so many families trapped in communication and communication in real life?
First of all, there is a lack of understanding of the importance of communication education in the concept of family education. In the concept of modern family education, the importance of communication education is often ignored by many parents. Many parents only care about their children's physical health and academic performance, and think that as long as they are healthy and have excellent academic performance, they are the most successful education, thus ignoring the important role of communication and communication between parents and children in the whole family education. Without exception, many families who failed in education found that the main reason for a series of educational problems was that parents and children did not exchange ideas and communicate feelings frequently. At the same time, due to the lack of communication and exchange, the role of parents in family education has been greatly affected and restricted, and family education has fallen into a passive and embarrassing situation. Many parents want their children to succeed and their daughters to succeed, so they spend a lot of energy and money on their studies. 3. The inertia of daily life of1minute makes the communication between children and parents very short, thus ignoring the concern for children's psychological growth. Parents are at a loss about their children's thoughts, their confusion and what help they need. Over time, the distance between parents and children is getting farther and farther, and the generation gap and separation from the depths of the soul are getting deeper and deeper.
Secondly, incorrect communication methods cause communication obstacles. Many times, communication barriers are caused by parents' inattention to ways and means in communication. Many parents do not adjust and grasp the ways and methods of communication according to their children's age, personality and actual situation. Some parents like to use imperative language, not allowing their children to express their views, so that communication becomes an order; Some parents also like didactic communication, and always like to lay out some big truths and talk about some big theories. However, children have long been impatient with this boring preaching, and this way of communication will only make children bored and have no effect at all; Other parents simply ignore the size of their children's ability to accept, and only express their views from the perspective of parents, thus making children rebellious and unwilling to communicate with parents; Other parents always use their own subjective ideas to measure their children's needs and feelings, which leads to many misunderstandings and deviations, which leads to the failure of parent-child communication.
Third, when communicating with children, parents often don't pay attention to the tone and wording of communication, so that children always feel that they are in a weak position, and parents are in a strong position and are unwilling to open their hearts to communicate with their children; Some parents can't control their emotions very well, and sometimes even communicate with their children with resentment, so this makes them unable to communicate except fear. In family education, many parents always criticize their children more than praise, prohibit them more than advocate them, criticize them more than encourage them, belittle them more than appreciate them, and command them more than discuss them. In this way of education, children are often in a position of being disrespected and passively preaching, which is easy to have a rebellious attitude towards their parents and seriously affects the quality of communication.
Third, good communication should pay attention to ways and means.
Effective communication between parents and children plays an extremely important role in promoting the healthy growth of children's body and mind. Learning to communicate well with children can fully convey parents' expectations and care to children and provide them with the best growing environment and happy living space. However, the lack of communication time and poor quality with children have troubled many families. Therefore, in order to establish a good communication relationship, parents also need to master the correct ways and means, so as to make communication easy and harmonious.
1. Communication between parents and children should be equal.
The most important premise of parent-child communication is equality. Many parents always like to be above themselves and think that "I am the parent, I have the final say, and the children must listen to me", thus ignoring the children's spiritual feelings, killing the children's right to speak and making the communication between parents and children "centralized". This kind of communication not only makes children have rebellious psychology, but also makes communication become a "form" and loses its due significance and function. Therefore, in communication, parents should put themselves on the same level as their children and discuss with them like friends to avoid turning communication into instructions and preaching. At the same time, parents should also conduct democratic consultation and equal dialogue with their children in view of the difficulties and problems they face; And fully respect children's personality, treat children equally, convince people by reasoning, thus enhancing children's self-confidence and trust in their parents, and finally achieving effective communication.
The communication between parents and children should be mutual trust.
Parents' trust in their children is the greatest encouragement to them. Only communication based on trust is the most acceptable communication, thus producing the effect of "knowing everything and saying everything".
If parents want to be fully trusted, they must let their children feel that they are trusted. Parents can convey their parents' trust and affirmation to their children through positive language, appreciative eyes and reward measures, so as to build a bridge of trust between the two sides. In this way, children are more willing to open their hearts to their parents and voluntarily accept their parents' teaching, thus making the parent-child relationship more harmonious.
3. communication should be kept regular.
Parents should arrange the content and time of communication reasonably according to the ever-changing situation of their children. Don't take communication as a task, treat it as a routine like a meeting. In fact, the communication between parents and children is a kind of spiritual communication and emotional interaction. Parents know their children better through communication, and children are more considerate of their parents through communication. Therefore, parents should regard communication as a common thing like caring for their children to eat and sleep, rather than making surprises and temporary.
At the same time, communication must not be based on parents' mood. You can communicate when you are happy, and you can wait until you are in a good mood when you are unhappy. In the final analysis, communication is to understand the development and changes of children more timely and accurately, and to make full preparations for solving the problems existing in children. Communication once a month, or even once every six months, has little effect on family education. For children of different ages, we should adjust the frequency and time of communication in time, especially when we find that children have changed, we should communicate and understand in time to find and solve problems in time.
4. In communication, we should grasp the proportion of language use, praise more and criticize less.
In parent-child communication, we must pay attention to the use of language and grasp the proportion from the aspects of words, speech speed and intonation, because different expressions will have completely different communication effects. Appropriate praise is a stimulant and lubricant for parents to communicate with their children. Parents give their children proper affirmation and appreciation, which will enhance their self-esteem and self-confidence, increase their goodwill towards their parents, and make them more willing to communicate with their parents. Civil servant's home
At the same time, don't exaggerate the children who made mistakes, but calmly point out the reasons for the mistakes and how to correct them in the future.
Parents should communicate in the way their children like.
In the process of communicating with children, we should not only consider whether children can understand, but also choose communication methods that children can easily accept. Preaching, ordering and coercion will only make children rebellious and fail to achieve the purpose of education. Chatting, telling stories and playing games are more suitable for children's psychological characteristics, so as to achieve the expected communication effect. Parents should put themselves in others' shoes. Before communicating with children, we should choose a more suitable communication method according to their personality and age, so as to get rid of traditional and didactic communication methods and let children know more about life in their favorite communication methods.
It can be said that the importance of communication has been realized by more and more parents and families. Therefore, how to truly achieve effective communication so that every parent can establish a good communication relationship with their children is a subject that we need to explore and think about for a long time to come. But we believe that as long as we master the correct communication methods, it will be no longer difficult to establish a harmonious communication relationship. We expect every family to establish a good communication relationship and wish all children in the world to grow up healthily in a harmonious family atmosphere.