Among them, Jane and Bingley, Darcy and Elizabeth, Lydia and Wickham, and even priests Collins and Charlotte are all expounding a social problem-marriage.
The composition of love is too complicated. If we divide it into idioms, it must cover time, personality, appearance and understanding. In all kinds of love, butterfly lovers finally fell in love after three years of old classmates' friendship. Beauty and the beast, beauty can find the loneliness, arrogance and prejudice of the beast in the castle, from the long misunderstanding to the final wedding, so two people who love each other must need one core thing, that is, equal understanding, in order to let love continue. But marriage is not like this, only balance can be maintained.
This kind of balance, like the equivalence of weight or volume, does not mean the equality of the same attributes, just like Mrs. Bennet and Mr. Bennet. Because of Mrs. Bennet's beauty when she was young, Mr. Bennet married Mrs. Bennet, so beauty and wisdom became a balance. This is the balance of marriage, similar to the balance of interests. Love needs a balance between * * and material.
In the love story between Darcy and Elizabeth, obstacles were set for them from the beginning. Darcy's arrogant refusal to invite Elizabeth to dance prejudiced Elizabeth against him, while Darcy unilaterally assumed that they had those disgraceful relatives. In western society, especially in class society, "etiquette" has a very special position, covering almost all the civilized education levels of a person. /kloc-at the end of 0/8th century, politician and thinker Burke once wrote: "Etiquette is more important than law ... They either preach morality, preach morality or completely destroy morality according to their own character." The disgraceful relatives made Darcy feel that Elizabeth was badly brought up.
There is an impressive passage in The Great Gatsby. When Gatsby showdown with Tom, Tom immediately exposed his family background, so he can never be a real gentleman. Daisy's eyes also explain the problem. Although Tom is rude, his natural wealth enables him to wear the title of gentleman, thus becoming an educated person in the eyes of outsiders. Gatsby, a real gentleman, should use lies to prove his gentlemanly character.
But obviously, in Pride and Prejudice, upbringing is no longer a family privilege. It is almost attached to people, just like kindness and honesty, so when Darcy and Elizabeth get along, at Pemberley Manor, Darcy completely eliminates the prejudice against Elizabeth.
What about Elizabeth? When Sister Jane asked when she fell in love with Mr. Darcy. Elizabeth replied, "It should be counted from the moment I saw the beautiful garden of Pemberley Manor." This sentence seems to refer to Darcy's property, but it also refers to the changed Darcy. If Darcy is still so arrogant, there will be no love between them, let alone a future marriage.
Although they are biased in interest, they are balanced in education. So this marriage is full of love. So did Bentley and Jane.
In contrast, in the marriage between Charlotte and Reverend Collins, Charlotte pursues "a reliable storage room to avoid being hungry and cold in the future." Pastor Collins needs a docile wife, who will understand and accompany him. So there is a balance point. Charlotte got a comfortable little home, such as a house, garden and furniture, and Collins got a wife. Lydia and Wickham were driven by sexual instinct and totally reckless, so that they became a scandal of elopement.
Can we compare the ancient marriage and the Book of Songs in China? Yao Tao is a typical wedding poem, which also represents China's typical view on marriage.
"Tao Yao Yao, burning its China. The girl is going to get married and be happy at her husband's house.
Peach blossoms are in full bloom and there are countless fruits. The girl is going to get married, and the heir who gave birth early is going to make a fortune.
Peach blossoms are in full bloom, and green leaves are lush and never fall. The girl is getting married, and Comix is in harmony. "
This poem is to congratulate people on their wedding, without boasting about how prominent the man's family background is or how rich the woman's dowry is. Instead, she repeatedly said "it suits her family" and tried to make the family beautiful. It can be seen that in China's ancient marriage concept, the greatest advantage of a woman is that she suits her family. In essence, this is also a kind of balance of interests, just like pastor Charlotte and pastor Collins, each has his own needs, and this balance of interests must be the same class. In China's series of plays, such as The West Chamber and On the Wall, etc. The right match is an important weight to measure marriage.
In The West Chamber, Zhang Sheng and Cui Yingying got married on their own initiative, put aside their parents' orders and matchmakers' words, and bravely pursued free love, thus satisfying people's desire for a happy marriage. When Cui Yingying held a lamp for Zhang Sheng in the farewell pavilion, her feeling was: "But if you get a lotus flower with the same head, it is better than the champion." In her mind, "love" is put in the most important position, just like all women in love. This has the free thought of breaking the secular and family shackles, but for a happy ending, Zhang Shenghui will be the last top scholar in high school and we will be the top scholar in the feudal imperial examination system. As I discussed before, the balance of love comes from the equivalence between the same things, while marriage emphasizes the balance of interests. Therefore, in order to have a happy marriage, Zhang Sheng must be a top student in high school and reach the same class as Yingying.
This is especially true for "Going to the Wall Right away". The story tells that Pei, the son of Shangshu, was ordered to Luoyang to buy flower seedlings and happened to meet Li Qianjin, the manager's daughter. They fell in love at first sight and made a private life. Li Qianjin hid in Pei's back garden for seven years and had a pair of children, but the elders of Pei's family still didn't know. One day, it was smashed, but it was not allowed for Pei Shaojun's father. Li Qianjin struggled fruitlessly and was abandoned to go home. Pei became famous, remarried Li Qianjin, and the husband and wife finally reunited. First of all, Li Qianjin is not an ordinary civilian woman. She is the daughter of the general manager. She is equal to Pei in class, and even in clan, she is higher than Pei. So the ending is happy.
We might as well say that in China's ancient view of love, the exchange of * * * with material things produced free love, and they longed to break the bondage of family and secular, and stay together with their loved ones, but the end of love must be marriage, and the balance of marriage must require class equality. Therefore, if women's status is low in most of China's ancient operas and novels, men's status as another class will not be too high. This also shows that in patriarchal feudal society, women have no way to change their origins and classes. Therefore, advocating free love is only free love, not free marriage.
This is not uncommon in foreign literary works. In Jane Eyre, Rochester and Jane have completely different classes, so in the end, the author gave Jane a large inheritance to make her rich, and Rochester lost her eyes in the fire, which shows that the author still can't convince himself that equal love can bring equal marriage. Only equality of interests can make a happy marriage. In the marriage between Dr. urbino and Fermina, urbino needs a wife from an ordinary family, and so does Fermina. Their marriage was loveless at first, but now it can continue and the interests are balanced. In this way, the biggest balance point of ancient marriage in China is class, while in foreign marriages, the balance point of marriage is interest.
Family is a combination in the process of social civilization, and marriage is its bond. We can believe that free love exists, just like Darcy and Elizabeth, Bingley and Jane in the story. However, free marriage does not exist, no matter now or in the past, no matter in the East or the West. Although modern China society has gradually abandoned clan class discrimination, in an information explosion society, other class discrimination still exists. Therefore, the class and equality of interests that maintain the balance of marriage will always exist in the family, which will determine whether the marriage is long.