Love psychology paper 1
On Love Psychology
Abstract: Since 1970s, the research of love psychology has been carried out abroad, and some achievements have been made in theory and practice. In recent years, the research on love psychology in China has also been gradually launched. In this paper, the concept of love, the discussion and analysis of college students' love psychology, the structure and measurement of love psychology, the influencing factors and other aspects are summarized and evaluated, and the future research direction is prospected.
Keywords: love psychology; The concept of love; Structure; Measurement; influencing factor
1. Introduction
Love is complicated and changeable. It is an eternal topic for human beings and an important part of human life. The research on love psychology abroad started earlier, starting in the 1970s. The research in this field has been carried out gradually, and some achievements have been made in theory and practice. However, there is little research in this field in China, mainly focusing on the discussion and analysis of college students' love psychology, the structure of love psychology and its measurement, influencing factors and so on. From these aspects, this paper summarizes the research on love psychology by scholars at home and abroad in recent years, and puts forward some thoughts and prospects for the shortcomings of previous research.
2. The concept of love
There is no unified concept about the psychological definition of love. Different psychologists have given many definitions of love according to their own ideas. Wstson( 1924) believes that love is a natural emotion caused by sexual consciousness. Freud (1922, 1952) believed that the desire for sexual union was the center of emotion. When this desire is limited, people will idealize others and fall in love as compensation for this setback. Fromm (1956) thinks that love is a tool to reduce people's sense of separation and loneliness. Rubin (1970) defines love as an attitude towards others, which makes people think, feel and act in a specific way. Svencen (1972) thinks that love is an action, such as giving gifts, * * * activities and revealing private information. According to Centers( 1975), love is the reaction that people cause when their interaction with others is rewarded. Skolnick( 1978) defines love as a constructive experience established by emotions, ideas and cultural representations. Some of these definitions focus on the origin of love, some on the function of love, and some on the description of love. In a word, love is a complicated thing, and everyone will have their own different understanding of it.
3. Analysis of college students' love psychology
Love is an important topic in life, occupies an important position in human life, and has a unique charm for college students who are in their prime of life and full of fantasy and romance.
3. 1 Problems in College Students' Love Outlook
Love in university campus is influenced by many social factors, and there are many problems in college students' view of love. Chang Hong and Hou Zanhua (2008) think that the main problem of college students is: 1. Lack of understanding of the true meaning of love. 2. Deviation of love motivation. 3. The weakening of the moral concept of love. 4. Irrationalization of love behavior. As for the psychological problems of college students in love, Wang Suzhen (2003) thinks that there are mainly: 1. Dislocation of love values; Through the questionnaire survey and random interview of 1005 college students, it is found that college students can correctly locate the position of love in life and handle the relationship between love and career, love and learning, but the survey also shows that some people have some problems: ① value the position of love in life. (2) affect your studies for love. (3) advocate "love first". ④ Misunderstanding of "specificity and exclusiveness" of love. 2. Love setbacks. 3. Improper love behavior. . What attracts people's attention is that there are not many college students who really fall in love for love. Qin Wang Zhan Zaofu (1997) According to a survey of nearly 1,000 college students in1/kloc-0, "What is the main reason for your love?" According to the investigation of this question, the order of students' answers is: to meet the needs of physiology and development, to enrich their after-school life, to make love through contact as a pastime, to seek a kind of excitement, to be lonely, to be influenced by people around them, to be curious about their own behavior, to accumulate experience, and to choose a partner for establishing an ideal family. This result should be worrying. Huang (2005) thinks it is necessary to combine the new characteristics and new trends of college students' love to explore their psychological problems: 1, the universality of the coexistence of love and anxiety. 2. The emptiness of love "process experience". 3. Boredom caused by indiscretion in love.
3.2 Establish a correct view of love
Facing the problems existing in today's college students' love view. Chang Hong and Hou Zanhua (2008) think that the following countermeasures should be taken: 1. Deepen the understanding of the nature of love and enhance the moral concept of love. 2. Cultivate healthy love behavior. 3. Correctly handle the relationship between love and study. 4. Strengthen the ideological and cultural construction on campus. Wang Suzhen (2004) expounded the adjustment methods from the aspects of love values, love frustration and improper love behavior, and thought that the following self-adjustment should be realized in love values: 1. Learn to think. 2. Learn to handle the relationship between love and study, and the relationship between love and success. 3. Improve the moral cultivation of love. In terms of love frustration, we should do: 1. We should correct our understanding of love. 2. Analyze the causes of lovelorn. 3. Take the right action. Love is a manifestation of morality, an ability and an art. College students' love must be healthy, civilized, elegant and generous, which is conducive to promoting physical and mental development.
4. Measurement of love
Looking at the measurement of love at home and abroad, the research is mainly carried out from three aspects: the measurement of love concept, the measurement of love components and the measurement of love types.
4. 1 love view measurement
Rubin first began to measure love scientifically. Rubin (1970) thinks that love is a measurable independent concept, which can be regarded as a person's various attitudes towards a specific person. It is the deepest intimate relationship, including not only psychological factors such as aesthetics and passion, but also complex factors such as physiological arousal and desire to live together. Rubin established the love psychology scale of 13 item and the liking scale of 13 item through item analysis and reliability and validity test, which was the first study to distinguish liking from love. And identified three themes of people's thoughts in love: attachment, care and trust. The scale of love psychology created by these three themes can be used to measure the intensity of one person's love thoughts for another person. Researchers often evaluate the effectiveness of RLS in questionnaire research and laboratory experiments.
4.2 Measurement of Love Components
1) Davis (1985) once compared and distinguished love and friendship, and thought that love in friendship includes eight main elements: joy, mutual assistance, respect, freedom, acceptance, trust, understanding and heart-to-heart; In addition to these factors, love also includes clusters: passion and care. The study found that this can make people realize when friendship has been transformed into love relationship, or love relationship has gradually degenerated into ordinary friendship. On the basis of this theory, Davis and Todd designed a relationship rating scale, which consists of six sub-scales of 19. It is used to distinguish various types of friendship, and can predict which type of friendship the characteristics of different relationships belong to. 2) Robert Jeffrey Sternberg (1997) put forward triangular theory of love by combining quantitative analysis with qualitative analysis. He believes that human love includes three parts: intimacy, passion and decision/commitment. By comparing the structural models of love types and evaluating the effectiveness of these models for various intimate relationships, Sternberg developed a three-factor love psychological scale with 36 items and 3 subscales. 3)Yela(2006) conducted an empirical study under the guidance of stemberg's model, and proved that the most commonly used dimensions of love: care, sexual desire, passion, intimacy, respect, commitment and attachment can be combined into only four components: sexual passion, romantic passion, intimacy and commitment, and compiled the corresponding love test scale. The scale contains 55 items to measure the four factors of love model, each factor is evaluated by 15 items, and each item is answered by Likert 5 subscale. 4) According to the activation diffusion model, Li Zhaoxu and others used the word "love" as a stimulus to make 278 college students associate freely, and then made a systematic cluster analysis according to the intimacy degree. The results show that the implicit love theory of contemporary China college students includes the following five aspects: ① Ethics and responsibility; ② Romantic experience; ③ Conflict and pain; 4 rationality; ⑤ Friendly care. 5) Wang Juan (2006) took college students and social figures in five regions of China as subjects, and determined the structure of China people's love psychology through open questionnaires and exploratory factor analysis, including acceptance, care, passion, love values and romance. A formal questionnaire of China people's love psychology with 26 items was compiled, with 6 as the score and 4 as the inverse score. 4.3 Measurement of Love Types
The measure of love type is mainly loveattitudessscale(LAs). American psychologists Hendrick and Hendrick (l986) compiled a love attitude scale with 42 items and 7 items of each type according to Lee's (1977) theory of love types, including six subscales of romantic love, game love, partner love, real love, possessive love and dedication love, and answered with Likert's 5 points.
5. Influencing factors of love
The influencing factors of love psychology are very complicated. On the basis of previous studies, this paper analyzes the influencing factors of love psychology from the following aspects.
5. 1 Gender factors in different cultures
David(2003), a study involving 52 countries, shows that in ten major regions of the world, men usually demand more sexual changes and diversity than women. Roy and Jean(2002) agree that women's sexual behavior is suppressed in various cultural backgrounds. Domestic research on college students' love view has also reached a similar conclusion. For example, _ _ and Peng Jianguo (2000) found that people often use "double standards" for people of different sexes, that is, men can be more open than women because their standards are different.
5.2 Relationship factors between family atmosphere and family members
Donnellan, Larsen-Rife and Conger(2005) used longitudinal research methods to investigate how adolescent family characteristics predict early adult love relationships. The results show that different growth experiences and family relationships will lead to different love relationship abilities. The conflict between parents in the family has an influence on teenagers' cognition and emotion in love. Moreover, early family relationships can predict whether a person's love relationship and marriage will last long. Wang Juan (2006) adopted the second edition of the Family Intimacy Scale 1982 compiled by Olson et al., with *** 16 entries. Later, China researcher Fei et al. (199 1) revised the scale three times to make it suitable for the family environment in China. The scale is divided into 5 points. According to the scores of the subjects, the family intimacy scale divides the subjects into four types: loose type, free type, intimate type and tangled type. It is found that the psychological structure of China people's love includes five dimensions: acceptance, care, passion, love values and romance. Subjects from families with high intimacy often have high feelings for each dimension.
5.3 Other factors
Based on the research in recent years, we can find that other factors also have an impact on love psychology, such as love state, love purpose and motivation, family income and so on. According to the questionnaire survey and random interview of Wang Suzhen (2004) to 1005 college students, it is found that the purpose and motivation of college students' love are mostly emotional sustenance. Most students think that falling in love is emotional attachment. They attach importance to the emotional experience of falling in love, pay attention to the process of falling in love, and don't think much about what will happen after falling in love.
6. Shortcomings and prospects of love psychology research.
The research on love psychology abroad is becoming more and more popular, and the research on love psychology in China is also getting more and more attention. However, the research on love psychology in China is still in its infancy, so there are inevitably some shortcomings in the research.
6. 1 The research object needs to be expanded.
From the research object, most of them are undergraduates, while there is little research on the love psychology of middle school students and graduate students. With the rapid development of society and the improvement of people's living standards, teenagers mature early, and students' puppy love frequently appears in middle school campuses. So their understanding of love needs further investigation and study. Although graduate students are mature in age and mind, many graduate students are single and have been in love, so it is of practical significance to study their causes and countermeasures.
6.2 The research content needs to be enriched.
Judging from the research content, the domestic research on love psychology mostly stays in the investigation of college students' love view, the theoretical research on existing problems and educational countermeasures, and the research on the relationship with other variables. There is little analysis on the causes and mechanism of the formation of love psychology, and there is no specific discussion on the love psychology between different social groups. How to form a correct concept of love and put forward some effective countermeasures according to the concept of love of China people today, so as to improve the happiness satisfaction of China people, should be the ultimate goal of the study.
6.3 The research methods and tools are single.
Judging from the research methods, most of the existing studies are qualitative and few are quantitative. Although qualitative research can find and explain some problems, a lot of empirical research is needed to make the argument more convincing. Judging from the research tools, there is no unified and authoritative scale to use. Most measuring tools either learn from foreign scales or researchers' own scales, which inevitably leads to differences and even contradictory conclusions.
In view of the above shortcomings, the following aspects can be studied in the future:
First, theoretical issues about love psychology, such as love concept, love psychological education, structural model and influencing factors, will continue to be concerned, but more attention should be paid to the causes and mechanisms of China people's love psychology. At the same time, the effect evaluation of love psychological education countermeasures is also carried out simultaneously.
The second is to explore the development of China people's love psychology scale with reasonable structure and high reliability and validity, so as to provide a scientific and effective tool for effectively diagnosing and predicting incorrect love views.
Thirdly, combined with different research methods, scale method, experiment method, interview method and observation method are combined to verify and complement each other.
[References]
Wang Juan. (2006). China people's psychological structure of love and its influencing factors. Wuhan: Master's degree thesis of Huazhong Normal University.
[2] Zhang Yu. (2009). Love psychology and its relationship with interpersonal satisfaction and subjective well-being. Wuhan: Master's degree thesis of Huazhong Normal University.
[3] Chang Hong, Hou Zanhua. (2008). Contemporary College Students' Love Psychology: Problems and Countermeasures. China Business,10,223-224.
[4] Wang Suzhen. (2004). Investigation and Reflection on College Students' Love Psychology. Journal of Lianyungang Teachers College, 1, 14- 17.
[5] Lin Yanyan, Li Zhaoxu. (2006). A summary of love theory in the field of psychology. Journal of Gannan Normal University, 1, 40-44.
[6] Huang Zhu. (2005). Contemporary college students' love view and mental health. Economic and social development, 6, 87-89.
Papers on love psychology II
An analysis of the love psychology of military college students
The love psychology of military academy students has the unique characteristics of military academy, such as the taboo of military academy students' love, the easy failure of campus love, the imbalance between male and female in military academy, and the easy occurrence of unrequited love. It is necessary to guide military cadets to establish a correct view of love, and then correctly treat unrequited love, love and lovelorn.
Keywords: love; Unrequited love; Love; Lovelorn/abandoned
After graduating from high school, military cadets joined the army and lived a life of more same sex and less opposite sex. Compared with local college students, they lack many opportunities to communicate with the opposite sex, and their love psychology also has the unique characteristics of military schools. It is necessary to guide military cadets to establish a correct view of love, and then correctly treat unrequited love, love and lovelorn.
First, cadets and love
1, the military academy explicitly forbids students to fall in love.
Military schools don't allow students to fall in love. The management mode of military schools is higher and stricter than that of the military. There is no room for ambiguity in front of military discipline. In the military academy, every day's study and training are fully arranged. In such a tense atmosphere, few people have time to control. Inappropriate, discipline does not allow love. There are also some individuals who violate the discipline against the wind and leave the team privately and are dealt with seriously. The lesson can be described as profound. If you and he (she) may have a good impression on each other, but even if there is strong love in your heart, you should remember the rules, control your emotions with reason, and learn to refuse this love that should not come early. At the same time, military cadets are not mature enough in physiology, psychology, thought and life experience, and they are blind in falling in love. They are under great academic pressure. If you fall in love too early, it will not only affect your studies, but also your career and future.
2. Campus romance is easy to fail.
Love needs a cool head and strong self-restraint, and a serious attitude of both men and women. However, the personality and values of military college students are still immature, especially the choice of lifelong partners is uncertain, the contradictions in love can not be properly handled, and feelings can easily change with the environment, which will eventually lead to failure. As far as long-distance love is concerned, due to the influence of distance, lovers can't fully communicate emotionally, which is easy to cause suspicion, and the chances of breaking up after a long time are high; However, local love violates discipline and is not recognized, and the other party is under great psychological pressure. Besides, obeying orders is the first duty of soldiers. If two people live far apart after graduation, the pain of breaking up after graduation is indescribable.
3. The imbalance between male and female in military schools is prone to unrequited love.
Love is the emotional communication between two people. If only one person is in love, and the other person has no feelings or doesn't want to communicate with him, it will form unrequited love, also called unrequited love. Because there are many only children among military academy students, the military academy environment is closed, the management pressure is high, and students are prone to loneliness and loneliness, so the concern from the opposite sex is particularly precious. In addition, military cadets are prone to unrequited love due to emotional allergies because they have fewer opportunities to contact the opposite sex. For example, Xiao Zhang, a freshman, went to the library one day and was depressed because he was homesick. A sophomore girl came to comfort him. Since then, Xiao Zhang has been deeply moved by this girl. Every day, whenever he has time, he will run to the library, hoping to see her again. Xiao Zhang's situation is not uncommon in military schools.
Second, how do cadets cope with emotional problems?
A soldier's career means sacrifice and dedication, but a soldier is also a natural person and will encounter emotional problems. When you are interested in the opposite sex, when you have feelings with him or her, and when you suffer from lovelorn pain, how can you reconcile your emotions and free yourself from them?
1. What should I do if I have unrequited love?
Unrequited love, also known as unrequited love and unrequited love, is a kind of abnormal love, which shows one person's wishful admiration and love for another person. The secret admirer's love does not ask for anything in return, even though he knows that the other person does not love himself, he still pursues it blindly. People who have a secret crush are constantly fighting inside, and reason tells them that such feelings will not have results, but it is difficult for them to break free from this net. So how to surpass yourself and overcome feelings?
First of all, we should distinguish between love and friendship. Friendship may develop into love under certain conditions, but it is not equal to love, because love is based on heterosexual relations and is a noble and pure emotion established between men and women; The purpose and destination of love is the combination of the two sexes and the composition of the family; Love is exclusive, exclusive, and can only be a special feeling formed between men and women. Friendship does not have these characteristics. Therefore, when interacting with students of the opposite sex, we should grasp the scale and realize that love is based on mutual love. If the other person doesn't love you, just out of courtesy, or treats you as a friend, then such a good feeling is not love.
Secondly, we should calm down and analyze whether our feelings are illusions. People who secretly love each other often ponder each other's words and deeds, eyes, and feel that they are also loving themselves. In fact, this distorted feeling is often an illusion. People who secretly love each other tend to idealize each other, and all his happiness and happiness are closely linked, forming a halo effect on him or her. It seems that with him (her), the world will be so beautiful. In fact, this is just an illusion. True love is not an imagination in people's minds, but can be felt in real life. If love is a dream, you'd better wake up early and tell yourself to wipe off the dust, start a new life and find yourself lost.
Third, sour grape effect and sweet lemon effect. The sour grape effect refers to the lovelorn saying that "grapes are sour" in order to relieve their inner pain, just like the fox in Aesop's Fables. For example, pointing out the shortcomings of some ex-lovers helps to break the idealistic tendency. The sweet lemon effect is to make a list of your own advantages, find your own good places, restore your confidence, and thus reduce your pain. While reducing the self-improvement of others, you may feel that your unrequited love is completely unnecessary. Maybe one day, you will find a more suitable person waiting for you.
Finally, the sublimation of emotion. Secret love is just a mirage of love. Therefore, unrequited lovers must break through their own woven network as soon as possible, grasp the direction of the emotional rudder, overcome emotions with reason, and achieve ultimate transcendence. If unrequited love is painful, then put your pain into your life and study, turn your pain into a driving force to inspire your life and study, resist the erosion of sadness with profound knowledge, and care for others with a kind and broad mind.
2. What should I do if I fall in love?
We don't advocate that military students fall in love, but in real life, some boys and girls often come into contact because of study or work, and gradually develop a good impression, and some students even fall in love secretly. In fact, the two lovers who violate the rules are very contradictory in their hearts. Subjectively, they don't want to continue because of the ban, but they can't get out of their feelings immediately. How can we help them out of trouble?
First of all, please remember that cadets are not allowed to fall in love. Although the mood is very painful, you must keep saying to yourself, "If you really love him (her), you can't accept his (her) love, you can't let him (her) violate school discipline, and you can't let him (her) delay studying for me; If you love him (her), you must protect the bud of love, don't let it be exposed prematurely, and let the flower of love bloom when it is in full bloom. " You should tell the other person euphemistically that if he (she) really loves you, he (she) will understand you, respect you and support you in action, so that it is not too late for the flower of love to bloom again after graduation; If he (she) is depressed because of your refusal, or begins to hate you and insult you, it proves that your refusal at this time is completely correct. Secondly, it is more important to distinguish between love and learning. Love is an important part of life, but it is not the whole of life. University time is an opportunity for a person to set up lofty ideals and develop in an all-round and balanced way. At this stage, students are full of energy, eager for knowledge, good memory and quick to accept new things, which is the best time for learning. Since you are a student, you should concentrate on your study. In military schools, various assessment standards will follow, and the requirements are very high. Military schools are eliminated from the whole process, and all of them must pass the exam. At this time, once you are distracted, distracted and cranky, you will definitely not learn well. Once eliminated, all the auras on your body will suddenly be eclipsed, which is equal to self-destruction of your future. Therefore, college students should put their studies first, straighten out the relationship between love and study, and can't spend all their precious time in love and relax their studies. Love without research is like sowing seeds in the desert. Without a solid foundation and fertile soil, it will wither sooner or later.
Third, learn to calmly deal with emotional impulses. Students' emotional world is very rich, but because of their immature thoughts and personality, their thoughts fluctuate greatly, and they still lack comprehensive rational thinking about what to do in the future, what path to choose and what kind of person to choose as their lifelong partner. Therefore, the love between two people is often controversial, and the success rate of this romance is low. If this feeling develops at will, regardless of rules and regulations, regardless of school spirit and discipline, it will inevitably affect future study or work. True love is that both sides have the same ideals, values and beliefs, and it is a rational and noble feeling. "If two kinds of feelings last for a long time, it will be sooner or later." Only by rationally grasping the temperature of "love" and controlling the temperature of "love" will love always accompany you.
Fourth, support each other in love. Some students in love think they have found true love, and he or she is the person I have been looking for all my life. If you really love each other, you should strictly abide by the rules and regulations of the school and keep a sense of proportion in communication. You should not encourage and support each other because love affects your study and training. We should strive to appreciate ourselves, encourage and support each other, correct our shortcomings and carry forward our advantages; Strive to overcome the negative effects of love, strive to play the positive role of love, and make love a catalyst for progress.
3. What if you are lovelorn?
Lovelorn is that one party in love no longer loves the other party, so the relationship with the other party is terminated. Lovelorn is a two-way street. Maybe you are in love, and the other party proposes to break off the relationship, or maybe you find that you can't adapt to each other in the process of falling in love. No matter what the situation, it is a painful experience. How to treat lovelorn correctly and get out of the shadow of lovelorn as soon as possible?
First of all, it is obvious that love is not the only content of life. A writer once said, "Is a man's life just to control a woman, and a woman's life just to control a man?" No, never. "Love is an important part of life, but it is not the whole of life. The meaning of life mainly lies in the pursuit of career and contribution to society. Knowing this, you will rationally realize that pain is useless and should be relieved as soon as possible.
Second, don't lose confidence in yourself and others because you are lovelorn. In real life, lovelorn people always like to attribute the problem to one party, or my problem, or his (her) problem. Either you are unworthy of love, or the other person is unworthy of love. Serious people even equate lovelorn with failure and lose trust in themselves and others. No longer believe that there is love in the world, no longer believe that there will be someone fall in love again himself, and no longer believe that there will be someone worthy of love. If we can change our way of thinking, we can regard lovelorn as two people who find each other unsuitable in the process of getting along and decide to terminate the relationship. In this way, lovelorn is no longer such an unbearable mistake. On the contrary, it can help us accumulate the experience of finding another lover. This is an experience that can make us take fewer detours.
Third, establish the belief that there are plenty of fragrant grass in the sea. Love is not the only love in my last life. In fact, the opposite sex that suits your conditions exists in all walks of life. In this case, there is no need to hang from a tree. . The world is big, and we can try many opportunities. As long as we have patience and confidence, we will certainly find a life partner who is satisfied with each other!
Fourth, don't fantasize about the unrealistic "second time" and become a martyr who is lovelorn. Some young friends can't get rid of their past relationships for a long time after their lovelorn love. They make a living by reliving their old dreams every day, and repay them with luck, expecting a "second start" and getting back together. As we all know, love is based on mutual willingness, and the combination of wishful thinking and reluctance will bring more misfortune. Therefore, it is very unwise to pursue an unrealistic "castle in the air".
[References]
[1] Gu Nanxi. It is very important to grasp the "degree" in heterosexual communication, adolescent health, 20 15, 15.
[2] Yao Li. Analysis of interpersonal communication characteristics and communication obstacles of contemporary college students. Journal of Jiangxi Radio and TV University, 3 issues, 2002.
[3] Lin Wei. The influence of online violent games on college students' interpersonal communication. Dissertation of Liaoning Normal University 20 14.
[4] Luo Jianhua, Liang Bin. Analysis of interpersonal communication and mental health of college students. Journal of Yunnan Police College, issue 3, 2003.
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