First, the meaning of the complaint behavior

Complaining behavior is a typical social behavior unique to children in China and one of the common behaviors in children's social speech process. He is the interaction between children and teachers. Specifically, complaining behavior refers to children's verbal behavior against teachers because of peer attacks or finding that some behaviors of peers do not conform to collective rules.

Second, the characteristics of middle school students' complaining behavior

By the middle class, children have a certain social communication ability, and the disputes over "fighting for toys" are gradually reduced, "attracting the attention of adults"

Disputes and complaints about "defending honor" began to dominate. As long as we pay a little attention, we will find that middle school students often tell their teachers some advantages that have nothing to do with themselves. For example, which children robbed other people's things, which children were undisciplined, which children disturbed other people's games and so on.

Wait a minute. Generally speaking, children's behavior begins to develop from "for me" to "for him", that is, as they get older, their social needs begin to strengthen. They began to pay attention to their image in the eyes of others and to their old age.

The teacher gave them a good evaluation. So middle-class children pay special attention to expressing themselves. Therefore, most middle-class children complain about the attention of their peers and adults, especially teachers. They complain and expect nothing in return.

When adults nod or say "grace", they will feel satisfied. In addition, middle school students' complaining behavior has the following characteristics: boys

There are more complaints than girls and more "defendants"; Lively and extroverted children are more likely to complain than introverted children, and are more likely to be the object of complaints from others; "Seeking protection" is the cause of the complaint.

Lord, this may stem from human instinct to protect themselves.

Thirdly, the influencing factors of middle-class children's complaining behavior.

(1) The complaining behavior of middle school students is related to the characteristics of children's moral development.

There is no gender difference in middle school students' complaining behavior, which is a common phenomenon among children in this period. This is consistent with the interview and observation results of preschool teachers.

In the process of pre-observation and post-research, we found that most of the middle school students' complaining behaviors are inspired by moral sense.

Piaget believes that middle-class children are in the pre-operation stage, and in terms of moral development, they are in the heteronomous morality stage or the moral realism stage. The so-called heteronomy of the middle class means that children's moral judgment is dominated by values other than their own.

In the attitude towards the rules of the game, children at this stage regard the rules as sacred, although they have not fully mastered them. When children judge their own behavior, they mainly rely on the material consequences of the behavior, that is, the behavior conforms to or.

The degree of violation of the rules! Regardless of the subjective motivation of the actor. Because of this characteristic of children's moral development in the middle class, when the behavior of peers does not conform to the rules formulated by teachers, it often leads to children's complaining behavior, rather than.

We should consider the subjective motives of our peers.

In kindergarten!

Children are the main body of their life, study and activities. So! When the teacher makes class rules and activity rules! Children should be guided to participate in the formulation of rules. For children's complaints caused by peer behavior that does not conform to the rules, teachers

We should take a calm attitude to deal with it! On the basis of finding out the motivation of peer behavior, guide children's moral judgment purposefully,

Moral evaluation ability develops to a higher level. Teachers can also organize some thematic activities to let children discuss what kind of behavior is reasonable and what kind of behavior is incorrect, and guide children to gradually learn to pay attention to their peers' behavior.

Material consequences, we should pay attention to the subjective motivation of peer behavior, thus promoting the development of children's moral judgment ability.

(2) Middle school students' complaining behavior is related to children's activity types.

There are significant differences in the influence of different types of activities on middle school students' complaining behavior, with free activities and game activities accounting for the most.

Complain the least. Game activities are children's favorite activities, and children often have rich materials to operate and the most concentrated attention in game activities.

In an interview with the teacher, the teacher also said: "In the game, children's attention is very concentrated, and peers occasionally provoke them. Children don't complain because they concentrate on playing, but when they don't concentrate, their peers will touch each other slightly. "

Next, children should also complain. "

Children's free activities are mostly concentrated in narrow activity rooms, or corridors and aisles outside activities, with very limited space, and these free activities are mostly transitional activities, which are not restricted by norms.

Can make their own decisions, can only wait passively. One of the characteristics of children at this age is "lively and active" and "doing nothing"

Or in the process of waiting, it is easy to "anger" peers, which leads to children's complaining behavior. Unintentional collisions will inevitably occur in narrow spaces, which is one of the reasons why children complain.

In view of children's complaining behavior in free activities, teachers should reflect on the rationality of established routines, reduce unnecessary management behaviors, organize children's free activities reasonably, provide healthy and rich activity environment for children, give children sufficient activity space, and reduce behavioral problems caused by crowding.

(3) Middle school students' complaining behavior is related to their cognitive and social development level.

Middle-class children complain the most about aggressive behavior. Some of the complaints caused by aggressive behavior are because children have limited cognitive level and can't tell whether their peers' behavior is a game or a provocation.

Middle-class children are in the concrete image stage of thinking development, and one of its main characteristics is egocentrism.

I tend to understand things from my own standpoint and viewpoint, but I can't understand things from the internal laws of objective things themselves and from the perspective of others. "

Therefore, children's recognition of peer situation signals often leads to deviation, misunderstanding of peer's behavior motivation and causing aggressive reaction, which leads to peer's complaining behavior.

Therefore, teachers should guide children to learn to communicate while solving their behavior problems, and guide them to learn to use polite language purposefully in order to get the permission and help of their peers.

Teachers can also carry out targeted theme activities! Robbery around children

Problems such as provocation lead children to discuss how to solve them, thus helping children gradually master communication skills and skills and learn to solve problems by themselves.

Problems in the process.

(d) The complaining behavior of middle school students is related to the influence of children's living environment.

According to Urie Bronfenbrenner's bio-ecological theory and existing research results, children's development is closely related to the surrounding environment.

One of the characteristics of children's age is "easy to imitate". In the modern society filled with many media, children's behavior is not only influenced by many things.

The influence of important people is also influenced by various audio-visual media. Children like Altman-related toy books and cartoons very much, and these books and cartoons are often filled with Altman and Altman.

Monster "battle scene, the children in the game are free to move!" I love playing the role of "Altman" and imitating the actions of "Altman", which leads to aggressive behavior! Initiate peer complaints. As Bandura pointed out,

For this reason, even if the anti-social behavior in the media or role models is punished, it cannot prevent children from learning this behavior unconsciously. As long as you encounter similar situations in the media, these behaviors that children learn are likely to be

Reproduce in real life.

Therefore, teachers and parents should attach importance to the positive effects of their actions on children, communicate with others and children in a friendly way, and set a good example and demonstration for children in an effort to offset the negative influence of the media. Of course, when teachers and parents choose toys, books, cartoons and other audio-visual media for their children, they should be alert to the possible negative effects and guide them to correctly understand the aggressive behavior.

Fourth, how to treat children's complaints

However, when they have differences with their peers, due to the lack of basic social experience and skills, they can't handle disputes well, solve contradictions, and even intensify contradictions, so complaints happen from time to time. Children's complaints in games

Form is a normal phenomenon in their social development. We can't regard this phenomenon as a child's own mistake and deny it afterwards, or arbitrarily regard it as a child's "foul" behavior, otherwise it is

However, it has also brought some negative effects. If we can find out the causes of children's complaints and guide and educate them correctly, it will help to promote children's social development.

2. Complaining behavior also marks the level of children's language and thinking development.

In kindergarten, children complain from time to time. In the complaints, we found that there are always some children with poor tongues, incomplete sentences and unclear expressions. They must be guessed and repeated by adults.

Only by asking questions can we express ourselves intermittently, and even some children remain "silent" in kindergarten, so there is no way to complain. On the contrary, other children are complaining.

A glib tongue makes sense. Therefore, we can peek at the development of children's language and thinking from their complaining behavior, and take this as an opportunity to understand and educate children. Speech is of great significance to children's psychological development.

Influence, in short, is achieved by forming and improving the generality and intentionality of children's psychological activities. Therefore, in the process of complaining, children can express themselves in words by reading the narrative of the things told.

And logical thinking have been exercised. Usually, when solving children's conflicts, teachers tend to mediate, persuade and arbitrate with the requirements of mutual love, unity and humility, while ignoring the opportunity to improve children's language ability.

Cultivate. Therefore, when dealing with children's complaints, we should seize the opportunity to further develop language and thinking, and let children explain the ins and outs of things, their own views and suggestions for solving problems.

V. Problems that should be paid attention to in handling children's complaints

Teachers and parents should pay attention to the following points when dealing with children's complaints:

First of all, we must distinguish the nature of children's complaints. The so-called "nature" refers to the motivation of children to complain. Children have many motives for complaining-

First, some complaints are inquiries in disguised form; Second, some complaints are to make teachers pay attention to their performance; Third, some complaints are for sympathy and help; Fourth, some complaints are out of concern for peers or collectives; Fifth, some complaints are caused by children's jealousy or revenge.

Therefore, as kindergarten teachers and parents, we should analyze children's complaints in detail, understand children's psychological needs and other children's activities, and then choose appropriate educational content and methods according to children's psychological needs. Cultivate children's trust and closeness to their parents, so that their self-esteem can be protected.

Second, we should educate children to deal with conflicts between partners. Children are highly dependent, even if there is a little contradiction, they always want to help solve it by recognition. So teachers and parents should not interfere with children's complaints.

To guide them to deal with contradictions and disputes. In the process of handling children's complaints, teachers and parents also play a subtle demonstration role for children, from which children understand who is right and who is wrong. When encountering similar problems,

Sometimes, children will find a way to solve it by themselves, which not only exercises their ability, but also reduces their complaints.

Third, we should educate children to see the advantages of others. Children often rely on comparison with others to evaluate themselves, so when children "demand", "ask" and "demand attention and recognition", they will always learn.

I am used to using other people's shortcomings to show how good I am. Therefore, teachers and parents should pay attention to overcoming children's thinking limitations and evaluation habits, so that children can learn to evaluate themselves independently instead of relying on the shortcomings of others.

You should be good at learning from others' strengths and finding out your own shortcomings, so that the number of children complaining will gradually decrease. In addition, children should be educated to be role models for their partners consciously, instead of criticizing others.

Higher self.

Fourth, we should educate our children to say what they want to say, and let them believe that teachers or parents appreciate people who have something to say. If the child speaks obliquely, he can pretend that he doesn't understand. At this time, the child has something to say. Grasping this point is very important to cultivate children's good moral character.