First, what is a psychological crisis?
Psychological crisis: Everyone is trying to keep a stable state of mind and keep the balance and coordination between themselves and the environment. When there are major problems or changes, individuals find it difficult to solve and grasp. The previous methods of dealing with problems and their usual support systems are not enough to cope with the immediate situation, that is, when the coping ability of individuals is exceeded, the balance will be broken, the normal life will be disturbed, and the inner tension will continue to accumulate, which will lead to confusion and even disorder in thinking and behavior, and enter an unbalanced state. This temporary psychological imbalance is a psychological crisis. I recently watched Psychological Crisis Intervention for Teenagers.
Second, the four endings of psychological crisis:
1. The parties not only successfully survived the crisis, but also learned new ways to deal with difficulties through this life change. The whole mental health level has been improved, experienced threats and gained life growth. Just like the student I accompanied, I experienced the crisis of jumping off a building, and I know how to cherish life better.
2. Although the crisis has passed, the parties have left a "scar" psychologically, forming prejudice, leaving pain points and limiting their future social adaptation. For example, when a girl experiences lovelorn love, she may think that a man is taking part in accidental amusement, playing with feelings and avoiding talking about feelings again.
3. Suicide. The parties can't stand the strong psychological pressure, despair of the future, and get rid of it by death.
4. Failing to survive the crisis and falling into neurosis or psychosis. From then on, any life changes experienced by the parties will induce psychological crisis. The psychological adaptation level of the parties is obviously reduced. Just like a friend, because of the marriage crisis, she was mentally ill and sensitive.
Third, how to save children with psychological crisis?
Teenagers are full of vigor and vitality, active in thinking and full of beautiful expectations for the future, but they are also prone to conflict with the external environment, and their inner world often faces many doubts and puzzles. There are more and more teenagers with anxiety, depression and internet addiction, and self-injury is also frequently reported in newspapers, which has aroused widespread concern in the whole society. The mental health of teenagers is related to the quality of our future citizens, to the happiness of families and individuals, to the harmony and stability of society, and to how to save children from psychological crisis.
1. Stabilize your mood.
Don't let the grief of the client affect your judgment. The client needs someone to help him regain his reason and objectivity, but he doesn't need someone who is emotionally unstable to help him. Empathy, but don't get emotional.
2. Point out the advantages.
The parties rarely feel the love and warmth of relatives and friends, and rarely see their own advantages. Let the parties see their own advantages and strengths. For example, the parties are polite, helpful, diligent, sincere, lively and cheerful. People who are in deep psychological crisis may only see the bad side of their lives and forget the good side.
3. Pay attention to demand.
A person who is overwhelmed by various problems and pressures may not be able to evaluate himself and the environment calmly and objectively. We should keep an objective attitude and help the parties to look at their environment objectively and grasp their desire for survival. It is almost contradictory to pay attention to their psychological needs and want to hurt their own teenagers. On the one hand, they want to die, on the other hand, they want to live. It is very helpful to find and stick to their desire for survival.
4. empathy.
Avoid arguing with the parties about the philosophical issues of life and death. At the same time, you should also avoid saying some platitudes, such as "there are many beautiful things waiting for you" and "your life has just begun", so that the parties feel that you are talking in general terms instead of really understanding their inner feelings. What teenagers who try to hurt themselves need most is objective and empathetic understanding and support.
5. Expand your mind.
Due to personal experience, life pressure and other reasons, people often fall into a dead end and a black hole. They may only see the current crisis and see nothing else. Sometimes people who want to hurt themselves are at the lowest point of their emotions. They think they are born bad and will always be bad. In fact, life is like a tide, with ups and downs. Help the parties to see the ups and downs of life. Expand your mind and see more possibilities.
6. Find resources. The most powerful and concrete support for all parties is to help them get what they want. Because people who want to hurt themselves are generally lonely, we should help them get all kinds of resources. These resources include family and friends, and may also help the client meet the movie star or psychologist he wants to meet.
Fourth, why do children hurt themselves?
1. the theory of perfection
Children are not allowed to do poorly in exams, fail quizzes, take their grades seriously and do their best in everything. When the reality fails to achieve the results that they and their parents want, children will be particularly anxious and feel that they are not good enough and have no sense of value, and a sense of inferiority will arise. Sometimes I feel guilty that my parents have paid so much for themselves, but they have not done what they asked for, especially when I feel that I have worked hard, but I still haven't achieved my goal. After several times, I slowly disappointed in myself. There is no perfect life, but also a complete life. People who pursue perfection are strict with themselves and others, and when the results are not satisfactory, they tend to be negative or go to extremes. The child failed the quiz three times in a row, and she felt that she couldn't live!
2. Negative language
If you have listened to negative language for six years, when you are in a bad mood, you will hear these words that make you hate it again. What would you do? The child listened to his mother's negative language for six years. I've heard enough of the child's words. It happened that he was upset because the exam was not ideal. At this time, his mother has been saying a word is enough to make him hysterical, and negative language will subtly affect the child. As time goes on, negative thoughts will gradually solidify. Everything is used to looking at the negative side, unable to actively cope with setbacks, and has an escape mentality. Negative language can do harm to people just like boiling a frog in warm water, which will gradually make people lose confidence and strength. Mother didn't realize that everything she said was for the good of the child. I remember a girl who was raped by a gangster, and she was already very sad. As a result, her mother often unconsciously said. Her mother meant to remind her children not to forget and to be self-reliant, but every time she said it, the girl fell into fear and hatred again, and she had better commit suicide at home.
have a guilty conscience
Mothers are used to saying things like this to their children: "Because of you, my father pushed the outside entertainment, my grandparents came to cook for you, my mother took care of you at home, and my brother couldn't." Can you afford to test us? " The purpose of my mother's saying this is to let the children study hard, but in fact, the children receive a sense of guilt. Because of my existence, my family made sacrifices for me, and I didn't do well in the exam. I feel that I am a burden to my family, and I have no value in living. Guilt is the lowest energy. He stole the child's positive attitude and became more and more fragile. In retrospect, I once told my children that I thought it would encourage them to study hard. Talking too much will not play a positive role.
4. Life is boring
In order to make children concentrate on their studies, parents do all the housework by themselves. The child wants to sweep the floor, and the mother says to study hard. They can recite a text when sweeping the floor. The child is going shopping, and the mother has already bought it in advance! In order to better support children's learning, they attend remedial classes on Thursday and Friday, one day on Saturday and one-on-one tutoring on Sunday. Children's world is nothing more than learning, and excellent grades are the conditions for them to stand in this family. Once the results are not excellent, children will not feel the value of living, and learning has become the only reason for children to live. The mid-term exam is coming soon. After three consecutive exams, children feel that their grades are not ideal, but parents can't do without learning, even. Plain life, coupled with the excessive protection of parents, rarely have the opportunity to do things independently, let alone feel the joy of life.
5. Excessive internal attribution
The child also has a cousin, because something happened at home, and the cousin was left unattended. The child thinks he can take his cousin to live with him, and his parents have two children. He will not let his parents invest more money when he dies, and he can also use the money to train his younger brother. Because of his existence, my brother can't get more love from his mother, and my cousin can't take it. When he died, his grandparents didn't have to cook for themselves every day ... if you have any questions, just look at yourself. I am the root of everything. Take a good look at yourself if you have any questions. But if you blame yourself for everything, you will bear a heavy burden, be at a loss, over-attribute and over-criticize yourself, making yourself very tired and unable to bear setbacks.
6. Death dynamics
The child said that there seems to be a kind of inaction to guide him to a tall building. In the child's own words, it seems that high-rise buildings have gold. If you have the power to lead yourself to death, there will be the family's death power at work. Parents are advised to visit family members who died unexpectedly or have never been seen. Look at them more in your heart and connect them with love.
? With the great physiological changes in adolescence, the psychology of teenagers has also changed greatly. At this time, boys and girls are full of vigor and vitality, active in thinking, and full of beautiful expectations for the future, but they are also prone to conflict with the external environment, and their inner world often faces many doubts and puzzles. What can be done to reduce self-harm and better support children?
1. Change communication mode
Communicate with children in positive language, see their bright spots, encourage and affirm their progress, look up to them and trust them. If what you say is good for your child's physical and mental health, give your child enough warmth and strength to continue talking, or lock yourself up. The meaning of communication is to increase each other's energy rather than reduce each other's strength.
If the child's mother's unconscious negative language does not increase the child's strength, then say less or not.
2. Learn to let go slowly
Give children more opportunities to grow up and let them do their own things. Even if it is not done well, the key is to lead the children to do it, praise and guide them more, such as cleaning their own rooms, packing their own schoolbags, washing their own clothes and cleaning their own rooms. If children take the initiative to do housework for their parents, they should be praised more! The process of children doing housework is also a process of improving self-confidence. This ability will be transferred to study, they will actively cope with the pressure of study, and their ability to resist setbacks will become stronger and stronger. The child said that she went to junior high school, but she went downstairs for a while and didn't come back. Her mother was going crazy. My mother won't let me do anything except study hard. I can't do housework that others can do.
Lower expectations
Sometimes unrealistic high expectations can also bring high disappointment. Seeing that children can't meet their own requirements, it is easy to control their emotions and can't help sending them to their children. The higher the expectation, the greater the disappointment. As long as children are physically and mentally healthy, kind and sincere, honest and generous, love life, respect their elders, know how to be grateful, and are willing to work hard! Love life, love life, no matter what you do when you grow up, you can stand on your own feet. If the mind is distorted and split, it is useless even if the grades are good.
Set a good example
One person can't change another. If you want your children to change, you should set a good example first. Children should look at what their parents did, not what they said. One is more than a hundred thousand truths. They should be calm and optimistic when they encounter difficulties, always see the positive side of things, live a relaxed and happy life, have a harmonious family, be happy and harmonious, and have a warm harbor. Family members can understand, help and care for each other. Childlike heart.
Coordinate all kinds of relationships
The relationship between husband and wife is greater than that between parents and children. At home, father loves mother, mother loves children, and children love classmates. Father is the sky, mother is the earth, and the weather is sunny and peaceful. A child prodigy was born at home, the sky were to fall, and the family was ruined. In order to better support children's growth, parents should first coordinate various relationships, including husband-wife relationship, mother-in-law relationship and relationship with leading colleagues. Good relationship is greater than education, and harmonious relationship is beneficial to children's physical and mental health.
Afterwards, I had a thorough communication with the child's mother, and the mother realized that she was anxious to make her son succeed, and sometimes she was a little too anxious and had to adjust and change herself. Children and parents also communicated effectively, and everyone opened their hearts to reflect and adjust.
The child successfully survived the crisis, and at the same time, through this dangerous experience, he learned new ways to deal with difficulties. The overall level of mental health has been improved, and he has experienced a crisis and gained the growth of life. I also know how to cherish life.
? There is a unique story behind every child who wants to hurt himself. First, make clear the reasons why children want to hurt themselves, and parents should adjust and change themselves to actively influence and drive their children. Everything is the best arrangement. Find the problem, analyze the problem, and actively solve it! Find it early and adjust it early. If it is not discovered until it is terminally ill, it will be difficult to change the adjustment! Problems are not problems, but how to solve them is the real problem. Children's growth is not smooth all the way, but also tempered by rugged mountain roads. After tempering, they will gain a stronger and braver child, and wish every child a healthy and happy growth! I wish every family happiness!