The secretary is a special social role. The constitution of the National Secretaries Association requires secretaries to be as good at understanding other people's thoughts as psychologists and dealing with various communication relationships as diplomats ... The society has an expectation for secretaries: being good at handling things, being modest and friendly, etc. As a secretary, you should have high expectations of yourself. Social psychology believes that people who have high expectations of themselves are more likely to succeed in a certain field. Dealing with interpersonal relationships is a science. "The world is cold, knowledgeable, and human relations are all articles." If a secretary is good at communication, familiar with each other, accessible and trustworthy, then the success rate of doing things is relatively high. What abilities should a secretary have to deal with interpersonal relationships? 1, comprehension ability: that is, listen quickly, listen accurately and remember firmly. Only by clearly understanding other people's intentions can we understand other people's positions and achieve harmonious interpersonal relationships. 2, learn to speak: this is a science, is the basis of the success or failure of interpersonal relationships. It requires language to be infectious, persuasive, elegant, polite and so on. 3. Resilience: The interpersonal relationship that the secretary contacts is diversified, and sometimes it is inevitable that there will be disharmonious factors among all kinds of people in the office, which requires the secretary to handle these disharmonies flexibly in principle and make them harmonious. 4. Learning ability: learn from others, get along well with others, understand and support each other, and make progress in mutual help and learning. 7. Ability to control emotions: Keep a high emotional state at work, and never bring negative emotions to the office or work. Principles to be followed in dealing with secretaries' interpersonal relationships. 1, equal. In interpersonal communication, equality is the premise of establishing good interpersonal relationship. Interpersonal communication emphasizes equality of personality, that is, respecting others' personal rights, self-esteem and feelings, without involving others' privacy rights. 2. Integrity. Honesty is very important in secretarial work. In fact, it is an intangible asset of a unit or individual, and honesty is the external expression of a unit or individual's loyalty, reflecting the regularity and stability of a unit or individual's behavior. When a secretary is "sincere and trustworthy" in interpersonal communication, he can give full play to his ability, get support and encouragement from others or organizations, and better show his value. 3. Tolerance. Tolerance means being broad-minded and patient, regardless of personal interests. "A hundred rivers, tolerance is great." In interpersonal communication, the secretary is required to be strict with himself, be lenient with others, care about others, understand people, be clear about big things, be confused about small things, adhere to principles, be flexible in methods, repay kindness with kindness and be reasonable. 4. Know what people say. Everyone in society has different temperament, personality, motivation and purpose. When a secretary conducts interpersonal communication, he should have a deeper understanding and grasp of the object of communication and take the initiative to attack. We must know that "it is a human loss to know what it is without words;" Knowing that you can't say it, it is rude to speak with it. " 5. etiquette. Etiquette is etiquette and ceremony, which is the external expression of morality and plays an important role in the adjustment of interpersonal relationships. Smiling is an important part of etiquette. It can turn strangeness into intimacy, alienation into harmony and unhappiness into happiness. 6. Be cautious and independent. Secretarial staff should abide by the rules, regulations and disciplines inside and outside the eight-hour period, stick to moral integrity and prevent going astray. Laozi said, "If you are cautious to the end, you will never fail." . How to achieve "cautious independence"? First, beware of "impetuousness", be indifferent to pure heart, be far-reaching, guard against arrogance and rashness, and be used to introspection; Second, be careful to "make friends", remember that "those who are close to Zhu Zhechi are black" and avoid stumbling in social circles; Third, be careful of "selfish desires". If selfish desires are inflated and interests are smoked, problems will inevitably arise. Secretarial staff should stay away from all decadent and vulgar things. The relationship between secretary and leader, colleague and subordinate The specific content of secretary's interpersonal relationship is to get along with people, which is also an important problem that interpersonal relationship theory will eventually solve. The interpersonal relationship in secretarial work is mainly divided into: the relationship between secretary and leader, the relationship between secretary and colleagues, and the relationship between secretary and subordinates. The relationship between the secretary and the leader. The communication between the secretary and the leader is the most complicated and subtle. There are not only working relationships between leaders and being led, service and being served, but also interpersonal relationships in thought, knowledge and emotion. As a modern secretary, under the premise of respecting the leader, we should not do what the leader says, but help the leader make suggestions, help the leader make some decisions and prevent some mistakes. Giving advice to the boss is only a small part of your work, and striving to improve, improve and move towards new heights is the ultimate goal. To make your boss accept your point of view, you should be polite, disciplined and measured in an atmosphere of respect. However, before asking questions and opinions, you must come up with a detailed information plan that is convincing enough for the other party. So as to create a more cooperative environment with the boss and give full play to their abilities. When getting along with many leaders, we must focus on our career, proceed from our work, try our best to maintain the unity and prestige of the leading group, and we must not be biased in our thoughts, feelings and behavior; You can't show who you are close to, who you are alienated from, who you listen to, and who you don't listen to; You can't flatter the leader of B in front of the leader of A and the leader of C in front of the leader of B; When there are differences between leaders, we can't talk nonsense and pick things up actively and unilaterally, nor can we look on coldly. They can only do it with the passive comfort, bridging and elimination of both sides, and with the support of love and emotional friendship in work and relationship. We should always maintain a pure, sincere and tested friendship with many leaders like revolutionary comrades. The relationship between the secretary and his colleagues is an important part of the interpersonal relationship between the secretary and his colleagues in the office, and two basic principles should be observed: sincerity and interpersonal communication. Sincerity is the most basic requirement of interpersonal communication, and all means and skills of interpersonal communication should be based on sincere communication. Secretarial staff should avoid the following points when getting along with colleagues in the office: avoid pulling small circles and spreading gossip to each other; Taboo bad mood, full of complaints; Taboo attached to the potential, climbing the dragon attached to the phoenix; Taboo everyone complaining, endless; Avoid posturing and behave differently. After avoiding the above taboos, a secretary must achieve the following ten aspects if he wants to have a harmonious relationship with his colleagues. 1. Treat people sincerely: walk into the crowd with your own courtesy and charm and with a caring attitude. 2. Keep your promise: keep your word, work hard and be efficient. 3. Concentration: Concentrate and actively participate in the organization of collective activities. 4. Water frequently: invest time in cultivating interpersonal relationships and keep in touch with others by telephone, card, fax and email. This breeds mutual trust and support when others are not needed. 5. respect each other: don't just treat people as objects of contact at work. 6. Praise others: Do not hesitate to give praise and encouragement to express your appreciation for others. 7. Always be grateful: Don't forget to say thank you after others' praise and well-meaning criticism! 8. Take responsibility: Be brave enough to take responsibility for your mistakes, and don't look for an interface to shirk it. 9. Never take credit or take credit. 10, don't forget humor: keep the sensibility and humor of life and enjoy the process of establishing interpersonal network! The relationship between the secretary and the subordinates Because of the characteristics of the secretary's work, the secretary has become the closest person to the leader, and often issues some orders on behalf of the leader to direct the following employees to deal with some things. At this time, if the secretary fails to handle the interpersonal relationship with the lower-level employees, it will directly affect the enthusiasm of employees, thus affecting the efficiency and quality of work. Therefore, secretaries should communicate with subordinates on an equal footing, admit that everyone is in a cooperative relationship, and there are only differences in positions in their work, giving people an approachable intimacy and winning everyone's goodwill and support. Be tolerant of the mistakes made by subordinates. At the same time, in order to work efficiently and accurately, when dealing with subordinates, secretaries should also care about things other than work, such as family status, personality hobbies and daily life. And establish a good image among them. Methods and Skills of Secretary's Interpersonal Relations After investigating countless stars, tycoons and military and political dignitaries, Dai Carnegie, an American adult educator, thinks that only 65,438+05% of a person's career success is due to his professional skills, and the remaining 85% is based on interpersonal relations and interpersonal skills. Therefore, we should actively communicate with others and strive to establish good interpersonal relationships. To establish a good interpersonal relationship, we can start from the following aspects: 1, and find a common language. Both sides have the same topic, the same language, the same experience and the same emotion, which means that communication is likely to succeed. Finding such similarities has become the key to communication. Because everyone is a collection of diversity, from culture, nationality, region, knowledge, ability, occupation, age, personal experience, ideas and opinions, we can always find the basic point of * * * in language to facilitate communication. This is the truth that "a thousand cups of wine is a bosom friend, but more than half a sentence is a lover". This requires our secretary to pay close attention in daily work and grasp the characteristics of others, so as to better seek the same topic. 2. Open yourself to each other in a limited way. Treating each other sincerely is the basic moral principle in interpersonal communication. In communication, if one party wants to attract the other party, communication will succeed only if he opens his heart, takes a clear-cut stand, arouses understanding and sympathy, and gains trust. False cover-up, or showing strong self-protection and being too wary of others, are all difficult to make communication successful. Under certain conditions, we should adopt the method of "taking what we want, giving it first" and reasonably implement communication strategies and skills to achieve the purpose of communication. For our secretary, we must grasp a yardstick, that is, we can't speak absolutely if we can speak. 3. Be considerate and consider the problem from the other side's standpoint. "Don't do to others what you don't want them to do to you." Successful communicators are always good at listening to each other's comments, understanding each other's views and intentions, always thinking from each other's standpoint, putting themselves in each other's shoes, considering each other's needs, interests, hobbies and conveniences, and reducing the trouble caused to each other. Although it has paid a price in communication, the benefits to organizations or individuals will be stable and long-term. 4. Learn to listen. Patiently listening to others and respecting the speaker's mood and attitude not only show your self-restraint, but also show your concern for him. Everyone needs someone to listen. When people are angry, sad, angry, sad or excited, they all want someone to associate with them and listen carefully. When talking with visitors, the secretary should listen carefully to their complaints, receive them warmly, and keep abreast of the situation. 5. Thank you sincerely. Everyone wants to be affirmed by others and confirm their importance, so they are very eager to be appreciated by others. Praise each other's behavior, often will receive unexpected results. Therefore, the secretary should not be stingy with praise in communication, as long as it is sincere, healthy and heartfelt. Selfless and appropriate praise can not only bring happiness to each other and win their good feelings, but also get their sincere understanding and enthusiastic support and help, which is conducive to doing a good job. 6. Respond calmly. In interpersonal communication, unexpected things will happen from time to time, which requires the secretary to have the ability to deal with all unexpected things. Because communication activities are definitely not carried out according to the "procedures" designed by one party, we should readjust and reorganize in the process of change, adapt to the changed situation, ease the atmosphere, reverse the situation, resolve contradictions and turn passivity into initiative. We should learn to avoid the topic we are talking about skillfully, answer vaguely, be flexible, avoid reality and be empty, and respond to emergencies with humor.