Interpersonal communication problems of contemporary college students —— Attribution and educational guidance of interpersonal communication problems of contemporary college students
College students' interpersonal communication has an important influence on their college study and life, on their all-round and healthy development, and on their interpersonal relationship in future social life. At present, there are some obstacles and shortcomings in college students' interpersonal communication, which are related to their social needs, cognitive level and personality characteristics. Starting from improving the comprehensive quality of college students, we should strengthen the education and guidance of college students' interpersonal communication and promote the coordination of college students' interpersonal relations.
[Keywords:] Attribution education guidance for college students' interpersonal problems
[Author's Brief Introduction] Ma Yaping (1968-), female, Hui nationality, Yinchuan, Ningxia, assistant researcher, master's degree, majoring in ideological education and management of college students. (Beijing 10008 1)
【 China Library Classification Number 】 G642 【 Document Identification Number 】 A 【 Document Number 】1004-3985 (2014) 20-0188-02
In talent training, colleges and universities should not only pay attention to the study and research of college students, but also pay attention to their ideological, moral and personality development and their all-round quality training. In the quality structure of college students, interpersonal communication ability is an important indicator to measure the degree of socialization of college students and an important symbol of their personality quality and social life ability. The university period is a crucial period for the maturity of students' personality and psychological quality, and it is also an important period for the development of college students' interpersonal communication ability. According to the reality of college students' interpersonal communication, especially aiming at the problems existing in college students' interpersonal communication, we should adopt corresponding education and training strategies to improve college students' interpersonal communication ability.
First of all, there are some obstacles and deficiencies in interpersonal communication among contemporary college students.
As a special group, college students' specific study and life experience, age characteristics and specific social life environment determine their specific communication motivation, psychological state and emotional needs in interpersonal communication, which makes them show certain purpose, direction and even utilitarianism in interpersonal communication, and there are certain obstacles and shortcomings in interpersonal communication.
1. Self-isolation in interpersonal communication. College students live in modern living conditions, and the environment is superior. Most of them are curious, enthusiastic, willing to contact and communicate with people, generous and involved in a wide range. However, a considerable number of college students show another state, that is, they are unwilling to contact and associate with others and close themselves up. These students often come from relatively closed families. They grew up in a small circle and lacked the practice of interpersonal communication. When they are in contact with people, they are often timid, nervous, at a loss and shy. Don't they want to show in school activities? What about yourself? Highlights? Myself. There are also some students who are psychologically traumatized due to the lack of care from their relatives and the warmth of their families, which leads to their autism, inferiority and loneliness. They have never experienced the happiness of mutual trust, mutual encouragement and interactive communication in interpersonal communication, so they are psychologically indifferent to the outside world. Although they are willing to try to communicate with others, they are afraid of being rejected. These students are often nervous, anxious and uneasy at the beginning of contact with others, and some are unwilling to contact and communicate with others. They go their own way, go their own way, and close themselves off.
2. The utilitarian pursuit in interpersonal communication. Nowadays, the communication between college students is mostly based on the same personality, interests, hobbies, ambitions and geographical relations. The communication between college students is mostly sincere and healthy. Because of college life, they get together, communicate with each other and encourage each other, which is a classmate friendship based on pure love. However, there are also some college students who tend to pursue utility in interpersonal communication. Suffering? Money first? The influence of students is often manifested as indifference to classmates and teachers. Some students do well in seeking the benefits of joining the party, evaluating students and evaluating scholarships. Mass relations? Set out, deliberately pull the relationship between others and teachers, once you get the benefits you want, you will show indifference to people.
3. Jealousy in interpersonal communication. Most students are friendly, tolerant and peaceful in interpersonal communication. They are proud of their classmates' good grades and their excellent performance. However, some students are jealous of excellent students. Students who are usually very close, but when the other party surpasses themselves in some aspects, they have a psychological gap and can't bear it. The result is the alienation and rejection of these students, and even the attitude of irony, sarcasm and revenge. These students are sharp to others in their classmates' relationship, and they can't tolerate and understand others, which often causes tension in classmates' relationship.
4. Simplicity in interpersonal communication. There is an old saying in China. Birds of a feather flock together? In interpersonal communication, people often because? Zhitong? And then what? Daohe? . College students interact with each other because of some connection. These like-minded interpersonal relationships are conducive to the establishment of good interpersonal relationships and the formation of friendship between classmates. However, the level of this kind of communication is simple, and it also has negative effects, such as interpersonal communication? Like-minded? On the other side? Like-minded? . Some people walk together because of bad habits, bad hobbies and bad goals, which will strengthen their bad ideological and moral development and is not conducive to the healthy growth of students. At the same time, the oneness of interpersonal communication also limits the social function of interpersonal communication, because only by interacting with people of different types, interests, hobbies, experiences and knowledge can people have the opportunity to learn from each other, learn from each other's strengths and make progress together.
Secondly, the obstacles and deficiencies in college students' interpersonal communication are restricted by many factors.
Interpersonal communication is a manifestation of personality quality, which is influenced by individual genetic quality and acquired education and training. Judging from the social psychology and social needs of college students, the obstacles and deficiencies in their interpersonal relationships are mainly affected by the following factors:
1. Different directionality of purpose leads to the influence on interpersonal communication. Judging from the existence and development of human society, it is necessary to maintain the existence of social relations through interpersonal communication. Without interpersonal communication, human society would cease to exist. In social life, people's interpersonal communication is first to survive and maintain their relationship with society, that is to say, to meet the needs of safety, and then to achieve their own development and spiritual satisfaction. So we must recognize the purpose of interpersonal communication. This purpose has many manifestations in college students. First of all, in order not to break away from the relationship with classmates, college students should communicate with them more or less, so as to get the information of the school, understand the dynamics of the school and keep themselves in response to the changes in the surrounding learning environment. Among some students with psychological inferiority, their interpersonal communication is inevitably insufficient, so they will also have shortcomings in different degrees in their development. It can be said that interpersonal communication is the most basic demand of college students. Secondly, due to individual differences, some college students have a strong demand for more external information, so these students have a strong initiative in interpersonal communication, while students with some utilitarian purposes are different from other students in the crowd and have different energy input in interpersonal communication, which also leads to the abnormal development of some students' interpersonal relationships. Students are jealous because they have strong emotional needs in social interaction. They want others to have a good evaluation of themselves, but when others surpass them, they are prone to psychological imbalance.
2. The influence of the lack of cognitive structure on interpersonal communication. Because everyone has different social experiences and accumulated different knowledge, the perspective of observing and analyzing the external world is also different. Some people have a wrong understanding of things because of their narrow vision and lack of cognitive structure. In interpersonal communication, it often has different influences. College students are in the period of knowledge learning and broadening their horizons, with imperfect cognitive structure, limited thinking and cognition in a small circle, and inevitably there are various deficiencies in interpersonal communication. In many cases, due to lack of understanding, college students tend to be divorced from reality and subjective assumptions when dealing with interpersonal relationships, full of idealism, which easily leads to misjudgment of the relationship with other students and misunderstanding and tension among students.
3. The difference of personal background leads to the influence on interpersonal communication. There are many students with different personalities, hobbies, regions, family growth environment and economic conditions among college students. There are many differences in their values, moral feelings, ways of treating people and things, and ways of expression, which all affect the mutual recognition and communication among college students. Some students with better family economic conditions may be generous and enthusiastic in interpersonal communication, but some students show arrogance; Other students with poor economic conditions may feel stiff or even inferior in interpersonal communication. But in either case, it may cause obstacles to interpersonal communication.
4. The influence of individual personality differences on interpersonal communication. It should be admitted that there are individual differences between people, which will inevitably affect interpersonal communication. Especially in terms of personality differences, people with lively and cheerful personality can close the distance with others in a short time, but sometimes they may be grumpy and easily cause resentment or conflict of others; However, introverts are often not talkative and indifferent to others, which is not conducive to establishing a relationship of mutual understanding and smooth communication. Some people are easily excited, which easily leads to conflicts in many aspects, while others are selfish, jealous and self-righteous, which easily leads to contradictions and obstacles in interpersonal communication.
Third, starting from the all-round healthy development of college students, strengthen the education and guidance of college students' interpersonal communication.
The interpersonal relationship of college students directly affects their daily study and life and all-round development during their school days, and also has a far-reaching impact on their interpersonal relationship after entering the society in the future. Therefore, colleges and universities should strengthen the education and guidance of college students' interpersonal communication, and promote them to form harmonious, friendly, inclusive, mutual assistance and healthy interpersonal relationships.
1. Pay attention to the cultivation of college students' comprehensive quality and improve their personality charm in interpersonal communication. The success of college students' interpersonal communication is influenced by their personality charm. Personality charm comes from college students' comprehensive quality, which is closely related to college students' ideological, moral, sentiment, psychological development, knowledge mastery and ability embodiment. This requires schools to make full use of various educational platforms through various channels to improve the all-round quality training of college students, enrich their spiritual world and enhance their personality charm.
2. Improve college students' understanding of good interpersonal relationships and correct interpersonal motivation. Although we should recognize the purpose of communication in interpersonal communication, as a university, we should educate and guide college students to establish a correct orientation of interpersonal relationship, so that college students' interpersonal communication can be based on enhancing friendship, learning from each other and making common progress. Therefore, in college students' communication, we should put an end to utilitarianism, abandon the vulgar concept of interpersonal relationship and correct the motivation of interpersonal communication.
3. Enhance college students' self-confidence and encourage them to communicate actively. Enhancing college students' self-confidence is conducive to college students breaking through psychological barriers in communication, boldly communicating, and making it easier to succeed in communication. Encouraging college students to take the initiative to communicate is also the key to make college students strive for initiative and success in communication. Therefore, it is necessary to enhance the communication confidence of college students by improving their own quality and training their communication ability, and to promote their active communication through the enhancement of self-confidence, so that college students can break through themselves, break through the deadlock and take the initiative to attack.
4. educate students to know how to do things? Cautious? Let college students master it in interpersonal communication? Moderate? Principle. Distance produces beauty. In some cases, people should keep the necessary distance and leave their own space for each other. In interpersonal communication, language and behavior should be civilized and moderate, and the frequency of contact should be appropriate. Similarly, we should be moderate in the scope of communication. Don't associate with anyone, which leads to your own caution, and don't be very cautious with anyone and exclude others.
5. Educate students to be tolerant and let college students learn tolerance and understanding in interpersonal communication. In real social relations, it is difficult to avoid interpersonal friction or contradiction in interpersonal communication because of the differences between people. As a college student, we should learn tolerance, empathy, understanding each other's attitude, treating each other's abnormal emotions correctly, and learning tolerance and patience. Students should be guided to deal with contradictions and conflicts in interpersonal relationships with a broad mind. Especially when the other party is emotional, or makes inappropriate actions for reasons, it is necessary to have self-restraint, win friendship with tolerance, and gain the recognition of the other party with care.
6. Educate students to know themselves correctly and establish correct communicative roles. It is not easy for a person to know others, but it is more difficult to know himself to some extent. Self-awareness and correct evaluation are helpful for college students to form a positive attitude and maintain a good mood to deal with interpersonal relationships. At the same time, college students' rational understanding of their own advantages and disadvantages is conducive to grasping their role in interpersonal communication and expressing themselves appropriately, so as to gain the recognition of the other party more easily.
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