Frustration may mainly occur in: poor communication with the boss; A job given by the boss feels arduous and difficult to be competent; Worried about trivial and repetitive work; Have an argument with the boss; Emotionally.
Life will inevitably encounter setbacks, and a life without failure is not a complete life. Without the erosion of the river bed, there would be no brilliance of diamonds; Without the test of setbacks, there will be no unyielding personality. It is because of setbacks that there is the difference between a warrior and a coward. Remember, "Heaven has a great responsibility to the Sri Lankan people. We must first suffer from their minds, their bones and muscles, starve their bodies, empty their bodies, and mess up their affairs, so that they can't do anything." Balzac said: "frustration and misfortune are the steps of genius;" The baptism water of believers; The priceless treasure of capable people; The bottomless pit of the weak. "
Failure and frustration in life have an inevitable side; It also has positive and negative effects. It can not only make people mature and succeed, but also destroy their future. The key is how you face setbacks.
Moderate setbacks have certain positive significance, which can help people get rid of inertia and urge people to forge ahead. Frustration is also a challenge and test. British philosopher Bacon said: "Most miracles beyond nature occur in the conquest of adversity."
First of all, setbacks help you grow. The process of human growth is a process of adapting to social requirements. If they adapt well, they will feel relieved and harmonious. If you don't adapt, you will feel embarrassed and frustrated. Adaptation requires learning to adjust one's motivation, pursuit and behavior. When a person is born; I have no idea what is right or wrong. It is through encouraging, stopping, allowing, opposing, rewarding, punishing, guiding, persuading, and even physical corporal punishment and restriction that I learn to adapt to my own behavior and learn to adjust my behavior in different environments, different times, different objects and different normative conditions. On the contrary, children who have been lawless since childhood will be drowned in contradictions and setbacks once they live independently.
For example, Kepler, a German astronomer, was troubled since he was a child and came to the world early in his mother's womb only seven months later. Later, smallpox made him grow acne pits, and scarlet fever damaged his eyes. However, with his tenacious character, he studied hard and his academic performance was far ahead of his peers. Later, because my father was in debt and lost the opportunity to study, I taught myself astronomy. In his later life, he experienced a series of blows, such as illness, the death of his mentor and the death of his wife. But he still didn't stop studying astronomy, and finally discovered the three laws of celestial bodies at the age of 59. He turned all his misfortunes into a driving force to push himself forward, won the laurel of science with amazing perseverance and became a "legislator of the sky".
Secondly, setbacks enhance your willpower. Going out of society from school will bear greater pressure. When I was a student, I didn't have a deep understanding of all kinds of difficulties, lacked endurance and strong will, and was crushed when I encountered setbacks. In fact, many small setbacks in life are "playgrounds" of willpower. When you sweat through the whole journey and overcome the setbacks in life, you will get a pleasant experience. Psychologists compare minor setbacks to "spiritual supplement", because every time they overcome a setback, they strengthen their own strength and provide "spiritual strength" for the next setback.
At the same time, setbacks also have negative effects. In daily life, everyone reacts differently to setbacks. On the one hand, it depends on the emotional understanding of setbacks. If a friend criticizes you, you may listen to him and even appreciate him, but if you misinterpret this friend's criticism and think it is detrimental to your dignity, your reaction may be very different. On the other hand, emotional loss is more intense than material loss. When the goal you pursue represents love, reputation, status and dignity, once the goal is lost, it will have a negative psychological impact, which is the negative effect.
When people encounter setbacks, they often feel insecure and difficult to settle down, and their work and life will be affected. Then, when people suffer setbacks, how should they debug?
(1) When encountering setbacks, we should calmly analyze, find out the reasons of setbacks from the aspects of objectivity, subjectivity, goals, environment and conditions, and take effective remedial measures.
(2) We should treat setbacks dialectically, always maintain a confident and optimistic attitude, and realize that it is setbacks and lessons that make us smart and mature, and ultimately it is failure itself that creates success.
(3) Talk to others (friends) about their frustration and future plans, and change their depressed state in order to relax physically and mentally, so as to look to the future.
(4) Learn to comfort yourself, tolerate setbacks, be open-minded, optimistic, work hard and strive for success with confidence.
(5) compensation. If the original expected goal is frustrated, we can switch to other ways to achieve it, or switch to new goals and win new victories, that is, "falling off the corner and harvesting mulberries." This is a psychological defense mechanism.
(6) sublimation. After being frustrated, people strive to make progress and transfer their emotions and energy to beneficial activities, thus sublimating to a height that is beneficial to society. This is also a psychological defense mechanism.
(7) Be good at turning pressure into motivation. When you encounter setbacks and failures or are about to encounter setbacks and failures, you will face great external psychological pressure. At this time, are you discouraged, deserting, or stand up and continue to pursue bravely? This is a great test for people. Many celebrities and great men never bow their heads in the face of setbacks and failures, but are good at turning pressure into motivation and rising from adversity. Their successful experience deserves our deep thought and study.
According to the characteristics of the post of secretary, when talking about a certain setback, we might as well analyze it one by one:
Poor communication with the boss is more likely to happen to introverts. What is the importance of communication in the post of secretary, so we should constantly cultivate our communication skills and improve ourselves.
A job given by the boss feels difficult and incompetent, which is similar to the above situation and "sleepy".
The difficulty is lack of ability, and the trouble is lack of ability. "If you encounter the above difficulties, you have some shortcomings, and the best solution is to improve your ability through learning.
If you are tired of trivial and repetitive work, it is usually because you don't have enough values about your life. You may feel that what you have done is insignificant, or that all these jobs are a waste of talent. You should fundamentally realize that being an excellent secretary is not an easy task, and what you have learned in this position is not only the general skills, but also the reference of how others manage a company or a department well, which will be beneficial to you in the future.
Arguing with your boss is a serious problem. It is normal for leaders and secretaries to have disputes on some major issues of principle. If handled well, the result of the argument can make things solve correctly, which is good for your career and leadership. On the contrary, you may lose your job, or be criticized and unhappy.
A correct argument should do the following:
A) the question is very important
As I said before, we should avoid arguing on small and unprincipled issues, but this does not mean that all issues should not be debated. You clearly see that the leader's opinion is wrong and you don't refute it. When serious consequences occur, the leader will also say that you can't. Otherwise, why didn't you find out and remind me in time?
You must be prepared for an argument.
The idea of the leader has its own basis. If you want to deny his basis, you have to have more and more telling basis than him, which requires preparation. Unprepared arguments will only slide to sophistry. Without adequate preparation, we should give up the argument.
C) The argument should have a good start.
Don't argue extemporaneously, it will make the other person feel suddenly and think it is a sign of your emotional impulse. For example, you can go to the leader and say, "I have some ideas about this problem." Can you spare some time to discuss it with me? " In this way, the leader will feel the seriousness of the problem and your friendly attitude, which is conducive to solving the whole problem.
D) We must proceed from the problem, not from people.
Don't say "how are you", let alone speak ill of each other's views. For example, using the language of "your opinion is totally nonsense" will hurt the other person's self-esteem and is also a rude behavior. Not to mention things beyond the question, such as "this is the result of your careless investigation and research" or "you are just not modest", which are beyond the scope of argument.
E) Don't take too long.
Whether the argument has an ideal result or not, don't spend too long. At a certain stage, it is over. You can end this argument by saying "Let me think about it".
F) end it politely.
When arguing about reunification, you should finally say to the leader, "My opinion may not be right, please ask the leader for instructions." Or "I made some inappropriate remarks in the discussion. Please forgive me. " This ending will be good for continuing to argue or not arguing next time. Never pull your face and leave just because you are not United in the argument.
G) Don't argue the same question many times.
Problems that cannot be unified can be tested in practice. Nothing will be right from the beginning, and it should be allowed to be revised in practice, which is also in line with the principle of practice first. It is naive and unrealistic to try to completely unify our understanding before acting.