A woman whose identity has been replaced
In a small village, most girls my age dropped out of junior high school and became the wives of others in the town. A year later, they quickly changed their identities and became mothers. They were arranged by their parents to go on blind dates before they had a life plan, or they took their boyfriends from the factory home to get married. Unlike women with higher education, they have a clear understanding of themselves. After jumping from one family to another, they live the same life as their parents. Most of them adapted to the change of identity as soon as possible. My cousin married a net friend when I was in high school. The other party is a young man from other towns. Like her, her education level is not high, but fortunately she has money at home. My cousin fell in love with him soon, so the kindergarten teacher stopped reading and went home to get married. As usual, I studied by telephone with my sister after the evening self-study in Senior Two. I had to prepare for the exam at that time, so I couldn't go back to the wedding. My sister cried and advised her that her cousin could receive further education, but in vain, she finally became someone else's wife. Today, I remember asking my sister why she was so sad about a relative who only lived with us for more than two years. She just said that she thought her cousin would be the wife of a short man with poor eyes but only rich families. She can't accept it, and she thinks they are very inappropriate. As a result, even outsiders knew to persuade them to get married, but the parents who were cousins happily took 110 thousand colorful gifts and sent their last daughter away. When I returned to the door, I saw her. I said, "What are your plans for getting married? Will you have children soon? " She smiled and said, "I talked to him about regeneration next year." A few months later, my family told me that she gave birth to a boy, and both parents were very happy. I didn't understand it before. I thought that women in the new era had the right to control their bodies, but with the progress of society, people's ideas remained in the old society. In the past, married women were trying to have children, but not having children meant that they had physical problems and were losing money. The head of the undergraduate dormitory is now facing this dilemma, which is a marriage trap. Once a woman gets involved, she becomes a fertility machine, and even a woman with a college education can't get rid of it. The marriage tragedy between Petro and Elena is a true portrayal of thousands of women. We have received higher education, are interested in entering the society, want to make a difference, marry the man who loves us, become his wife, and enter the cage of the family. Once the identity changes, the body will lose control, thinking that there will be mutual respect for marriage and reproductive autonomy. On the contrary, the elders at home will push the baby, their careers will stagnate, they will become mothers, and they will turn around the children all their lives and become the mothers we hated when we were young. Men respect you before marriage and promise to love you as always when they are pregnant. The truth is, the vows of eternal love will soon be forgotten. He hates your bloated body and has his eye on those young girls. Childbearing is just a woman's war. If you expect him to lighten your burden, he will get bored and like to compromise and say, "OK! Then I will help you! " Raising children has become a man's help to women. They are like Nino and Pietro in the novel. Only during sexual intercourse, husband and wife are one, and you are within them. At other times, women are outside men. Everything about you is not in their plan. It is only your obligation to have children. When can a man clearly realize that having children and raising children is never a woman's business, and the family belongs to both husband and wife? He can't use words like "help" to express his great male identity, as if he were a woman's savior, and as a husband, he could never straighten himself out.
A factory full of contradictions
The development of modern industry has promoted the establishment of factories all over the country. The factory is a contradiction, in which there are people with different identities, stowaways, young people who have dropped out of school, poor couples, lost students and arrogant managers. I have known the concepts of factories and workers since I was a child. When I was in the sixth grade or junior high school, I knew that there were hourly workers and various child laborers in the factory. My work experience came earlier than my peers around me. I lived in the southeast coastal area when I was a child. There are many factories in Guangdong. My parents are workers, and I am a worker's child. Children of migrant workers, to be exact. My sister and I have hated factories since childhood. I study hard just to avoid going to the factory and become an assembly line worker. On the whole, I am disgusted with factories. I hate the crowds of men and women inside, the body odor and perfume they exude, and their unscrupulous teasing.
During the summer vacation of my sophomore year, several classmates and I went to an electronics factory in Wuxi to do summer jobs. We are like standardized robots, doing the same work every day. My job is to guard the automatic chip machine so that it doesn't break down. When there is a fault that cannot be solved by itself, in order not to delay production, the technicians in the workshop should be called to repair the machine. I am lucky, my workshop is more relaxed, and sometimes I can chat with my classmates when the monitor is not paying attention. Unlike another roommate, she was assigned to a strictly managed workshop. The female monitor was critical of their work every day and had meetings and training after work. Working in a factory is boring. We eat breakfast in front of the apartment every day, wait in line for the factory bus to take us to the factory, wear work clothes every day, pass the security check and enter the workshop in two shifts. I have worked day shift and night shift. Night shift is generally difficult, and we will secretly hide from the monitor and get together to chat. This factory is located in a big suburb of Wuxi. Looking up at night, you can see the stars, surrounded by surveillance and iron nets, just like a prison. Technology makes it easy to monitor at different levels. There are booths at exits everywhere, and security guards take turns to be on duty. Laborers are like prisoners in a prison. They work regularly, eat regularly and excrete regularly. Under long-term discipline, we are a docile body without thoughts. For a while, I suspected that I was going to be depressed. I count the time to go back to school every day, thinking that this is just a summer job, not my life. Remembering a conflict between students and women, a female worker cut in line with a female student while waiting for the bus. Usually, if it is me, I can only curse in my heart, but unfortunately, the female classmates had a bad temper that day and scolded each other. The female student said, "People like you deserve to work all their lives and can't do summer jobs." "Summer jobs" have always been just students. Speaking of which, we are college students, and the managers will not arrange for us to do dirty work out of respect. It seems that workers are not as good as college students. I remember our vice monitor graduated from junior high school. Once a male manager asked him to write a form. When talking about a word, he would ask, "Do you know which word it is? Can you write? If you can't write, ask the college students in your workshop. " I feel ashamed. This is not a word that is difficult to write in my memory. He may just want to humiliate his employees. In fact, I will listen to the instructions of the vice monitor with prejudice at the meeting. I think it is very rare to say something profound from his mouth. This is college students' misunderstanding of workers, thinking that workers are people with low education level and saying some vulgar words. But now times have changed. Many junior colleges and undergraduates will go to factories after graduation, and then re-plan their careers after saving enough money. Factories are increasingly becoming a transit point for graduates with financial difficulties to change their identities. The factory provides food and accommodation. If they work in two shifts, their salary will be higher. For newly graduated students, the cost of living is lower, which can help them transition from campus to society as soon as possible.
Nowhere to go.
While watching the original Napoli Tetralogy, I also watched TV series. One of the scenes that impressed me in the play was not the violent scenes, but Lennon's disorientation when she graduated from Pisa Normal University and her father took her back to downtown Naples, much like the scene when I returned to the village every year. My hometown changes every year. I will always be like an outsider, unable to blend in and have nowhere to go. I speak in dialect mixed with Putonghua and the elders in the village. They don't know whose daughter I am. I have to tell them who my father is, so that they can say "Oh" and then suddenly realize it, and then ask me how I am doing. Different from the ancient town of Xiangxi beautified by Shen Congwen, the remote villagers in Jiangxi are fierce. They are not kind villagers. They envy the people who have made a fortune in the village and look down on unmarried female college students, not to mention the female graduate students who are still gnawing at the old. Maybe when you study in front of others, they will praise your efforts, but when you turn around, they will criticize your family with vicious words. They stick to traditional ideas and ignore the development and changes of the times. "Reading is useless" is still rampant. The children trained by these stubborn old men will always be ordinary people, and their children have cars and houses. To outsiders, successful people, only those who know them well, know that houses and cars are sold by loans or by marrying their daughters. They regard their daughter as a commodity, waiting for the price to be sold, and the bride price is used to improve the living standard of the family or as a book for their son's wife. As a result, someone else's daughter hollowed out her home and then sold her daughter to fill the hole. This is a vicious circle, an unchangeable custom and the fate of young men and women in backward towns.
I have never thought about the concept of hometown. I have been wandering with my parents since I was a child. For me, my relatives are my spiritual hometown. I don't like the Chaoshan area where I grew up. I also hate my real hometown, dirty and shabby towns and vulgar and backward villagers. If there is anything I miss, it is probably the natural environment and farmland there. I didn't grow up in the countryside, and I have lived in the countryside for a year or two, so it is even harder to come back from studying abroad. What I am doing now is to flee my hometown like Lennon. If there is no attachment in the countryside, how can cities find refuge? It should be a stranger all its life. Every time I go back to my hometown, it's like visiting relatives. Going home for the New Year is like going back for the holidays. More often, when I get home, I don't want to go out, or I dare not go out. The villagers' eyes scared me, and the rumors from their mouths would hurt me. I don't want to hear what they say about me. Generally speaking, I won't leave home unless necessary, which also makes many villagers don't know me, just regard me as a stranger studying abroad. Fortunately, my parents never let me go out to socialize, and I hate women who like to chew people's tongue.
Forever fetters
I used to live in a bungalow in a freight station. In summer, the room is as hot as a stove. We will turn the TV set near the door outside, and the family will sit in the aisle to play cross-flow, eat watermelons and watch TV dramas. My brother likes Japanese, bought a lot of CDs, and we watched a lot of passionate movies together. I was moved by the friendship between Sasuke and Naruto in Naruto. I remember an episode with the word "fetter" in its title, but I didn't understand the meaning of this word at that time, and vaguely felt that it should be synonymous with "fetter". After reading The Missing Children, the last book of the Napoli Tetralogy, I feel that the "missing children" refer not only to Tina, but also to those children who left home and disappeared in Anabel when they grew up. In this article, Lennon's children have a beautiful home, a prominent position and a happy family. It seems that everything is perfect without so many twists and turns, and the children in Anabel are either missing or semi-illiterate. After her daughter disappeared, Anabel lost her enthusiasm for life and wandered around Naples like a walking corpse every day. Finally, she decided to give up everything and erase the traces. Lennon waited for the appearance of Anabel day after day, and established a Anabel in her heart through memories. They struggled with each other all their lives and became the most important concern for each other.
Although there is no one I can care about in real life, I have never experienced a long wait. I am an irritable person. Waiting makes me feel that life is the biggest waste. At the last moment of my life, Anabel became Lennon's endless concern. Lennon is willing to wait for Anabel with his life, which is undoubtedly very touching. In the four-part series, the weakness of family ties is described. But two unrelated women, like lovers and relatives, let people see the brilliance of human nature.
After reading the life of two women, most of them were Lennon, who kept climbing in order to improve their social and economic status, ignoring everything around them in the process. Life is a vulgar struggle, seeing everything clearly in the materialistic world of mortals, experiencing love, hate and ignorance, and dying alone. This bleak life has long been written in a dream of red mansions, and parasitic grass is my favorite poem. "Nothing can be separated in a blink of an eye. Naked people can come and go freely." Even if I know the truth, I am still floating in the sea of people. This life is long, when will it end, until the oil runs out and the lamp dries up, but I think about the contradictory life I have never lived in the bustling world.