No one who has read this article doesn't cry. If you don't read it, you will regret it! ! ! But this article is too long for me to paste. I can only give you a link address. If you don't read, you'll never know what touching means! ! !
Address:/r-10030-51539-0-14-0.html.
2. "The woman I don't love loves me so much! ! ! "touching! ! !
After a hard and heartbreaking love, I lost my feeling for love. Seeing that friends and colleagues around me have built nests, I also want to have a home. So I met Xin under the introduction of my colleagues.
Xin, a technician in a state-owned enterprise. He is average-looking, petite and has a bad face. He looks a little sick. She always has a warm smile on her pale face, which makes me feel as warm as home. I'm tired of wandering. I just want to have a woman, a woman with a family, even though it has nothing to do with love.
Xin often sits next to me, holding my hand and listening to me, fascinated. Eyes full of worship. Since the proud Lin left, no one has listened to my inner thoughts so seriously, and I have never communicated with anyone seriously. From morning till night, I bend over in the laboratory and do regular movements with microscopic particles such as quantum and proton. It was not until a year later, when my doctoral thesis was finished, my colleagues in the college saw my haggard appearance and dragged me to go on a blind date with Xin.
My colleague's sister and Xin's family are neighbors. There is only her and her sick mother in Xin's family, and her life is very poor. The only valuable place in her home is this ordinary house in the busy downtown area. In this small room, I felt the warmth of home for the first time. I strongly wanted a woman to get married and live with me for the first time. It was in this small house that I kissed Xin blushing for the first time, touched her smooth skin for the first time and became the first man in her life.
Those days were the happiest days of my life. Every day after school, I will go to that small house, bake the oven with Xinbao and eat her hot pot. After dinner, snuggle up to her and watch the falling snow outside the window.
Winter in Shenyang is cold and long. One day, I took Xin's hand and wandered the streets of Shenyang. When I passed the marriage registration station in Shenhe District, I saw many young men and women coming out of it happily with marriage certificates. Looking at others with admiration, he didn't move.
I said to Xin, "Do you want to get married?"
My heart trembled slightly, looked me in the eye and said, "Yes."
It snowed heavily, falling on Xin's face and forehead one by one, and melting one by one. I held Xin in my arms and said Xin, let's get married. At that moment, I was in tears. Is it a long love journey, too many ups and downs, and a longing for home? Or do you just want to marry a woman and live an ordinary life? I don't know. I wanted to cry at that moment. Once upon a time, Lin and I approached the marriage hall, but she pulled away. We met and got married after my doctor graduated, but now she is lying in the arms of an old foreign man in a strange and distant country. The day I proposed to her, it was also at the gate of this marriage registration station. She said to me very sacredly, "I must be your wife in this life." It also snowed heavily that day.
Do I love Xin? I don't know. Why do you want to marry her? I don't know, either. Ever since I promised to marry Xin, I have been thinking about Lin and missing her inexplicably. I keep asking myself this question. Do I love Xin? Why should I marry her? But there is no answer, I just think she can give me the same warmth.
The night I got my marriage certificate, I saw Xin sleeping soundly beside me, as serene as a child, smiling happily in her sleep. I sighed, but it was Lynn dangling in front of me. I know I can't compare with Lin who has been in love for five years, even though Lin has hurt me so much.
If Kathleen doesn't come back after she leaves, my life with Xin will be dull. But she appeared in front of me the day after Xin and I got the marriage certificate.
That day, I was in class, and the teacher in the teaching and research section called me and said that someone was looking for you. I walked out of the classroom door, turned around and found Lynn standing beside me. She is still so beautiful and has an extraordinary temperament, but she has lost a lot of weight and her eyes are very depressed.
I said coldly, "Miss, what can I do for you? Are you mistaken? " Lynn looked at me, her lips trembled, tears flashed in her eyes, shook her head and turned to leave. I always look strong in front of Lynn, but I'm actually weak. When she was about to disappear at the end of the corridor, I went after her, and I still don't know why.
She followed me to the dormitory and cried a lot. She told me that she left me for Germany because the old German man could let her go abroad, which was her lifelong dream. She doesn't want to give up her dream because of her feelings for me. She always does.
"I told you, I'll pick you up when I get a foothold in Germany." Lynn did tell me, but I don't want her to take me to Germany in this way. "Now I'll pick you up." After that, she put an invitation letter from a German college on my desk. "Now you just need to take it to get a passport, and that college will provide you with a full scholarship."
In the evening, I called Xin and told her that the college had something to do and I wouldn't go back. This is the first time I have lied to Xin. That night, in the hotel where Lin fell, I held Lin's body and touched Lin again, very happy. I completely forgot about sheen.
I'm thinking about my next plan: fly to Germany with Lin to live a rich life, or stay at home with Xin to live a plain life? Lynn divorced the old German man and got a large fortune.
When I returned to Xin's house the next day, Xin hugged me with joy and said, "Where did you go last night? I called you several times, but you didn't answer. I am worried to death. " She served the freshly cooked jiaozi, which is my favorite jiaozi stuffed with sauerkraut.
"Xin, I want to tell you something."
"Ah, go ahead. I have something to tell you, too. " Xin is very happy and shy. "I want to go to Germany, where a college sent me an invitation letter and invited me to study there." I made up an excuse to lie to her.
"Kang Er, this is a good thing. Can I take my family? I will go, too. " In Xin's eyes, we are already a family. She is really my wife. Seeing me staring at her seriously, she quickly stuck out her tongue and said it was a joke.
"Kanger, I have something important to tell you, too." Xin's face went red. "What is it?" I asked. "I am pregnant." Xin hung her head, shy like all happy women, and her pale face was flushed.
"What do you want to do?" Her words seemed to be a bolt from the blue and completely shocked me. It took me a long time to recover.
"I want to have him. I want a child that belongs to both of us. "
"Hit, don't know when to come back to Germany. The college stipulates that married people can't go. " I told Xin the reason for my arrangement.
Xin's face suddenly turned pale. "Why can't I go when I get married?" She asked, her voice trembling.
After that, Xin never spoke again, ate silently, cleaned up the dishes and chopsticks silently, washed my socks and hung them on the heater as always. Then curl up in my arms like a helpless kitten and cry silently.
"Xin, don't be sad, or I won't go." It pains me to see Xin crying silently. I tried to comfort her, but I couldn't find a reason.
"Why? Why not go again? " Xin looked up and asked me.
"Well, it's like this ..." I continued to collect reasons and sort out lies. "That school doesn't offer scholarships, well, so I can't go." I lied.
"You mean, you won't go without paying your tuition?" Xin asked.
"hmm." I want to comfort Xin first, cancel the marriage formalities, and then explain to her. It may hurt her less.
After getting up the next day, I found Xin's eyes were red and a little swollen. She stayed up all night.
I told Xin, "I won't be back for two weeks." There are still many things to do in college, and it takes time to get a passport or something. "A Xin smiled and said," well, you do your thing. I'll call you after we finish the formalities. "
The procedure of dissolving the marriage relationship with Xin is quite fast, less than five minutes. It was still snowing when I came out of the marriage registration station. It always snows in Shenyang these days. When I turned to leave, Xin's tears suddenly came out again, but she still smiled. Snow fell on her face and nose, but when I tried to brush it off for her, it melted into water drops and flowed down.
"Let's go and sit there." She said.
There is a small coffee shop next to the marriage registration station. There is no one inside, only a few waiters are standing at the door. There was soothing music in the coffee shop. I sat there watching Xin drinking coffee and couldn't find any reason to comfort her. It only takes two weeks from getting a marriage certificate to dissolving the marriage relationship. Xin obviously lost weight and turned yellow.
"When are you going to Germany, I'll see you off." Xin spoke first.
"Not yet. The visa did not come down. " At that time, the plane ticket to Germany had been bought, and it was in my trouser pocket. I don't want to tell Xin. I'm afraid she'll be more sad when she knows I'm with Lin.
"You go there, a stranger, you should take good care of yourself. Call me if you need anything. " Xin's tears flowed down again.
"hmm." I replied, and there was another silence. "After seeing you, I don't think you will belong to me. Are you a university teacher or a doctor? I am a technician in a factory, and there is a big gap between us. But I like you and worship you. Later, you offered to get a marriage certificate and marry me. At that time, I thought I could finally be with you. I was very happy at that time, but now ... "Xin said slowly. "You go, go for three or four years. I will wait for you. When I come back, we can get a marriage certificate and then get married. Do you still want me? " She asked. My heart ached badly and I nodded.
"This is ten thousand dollars. Just be a tuition fee. " Xin took out a stack of green bills from her bag.
"How did you get so much money?" I was very surprised.
"My mother gave it to me."
"Your mother doesn't even have a job. How can she have money? " I asked eagerly.
"My dad left. My dad is an engineer. "
I am speechless, and my heart is very sour. It is this 10 thousand yuan that makes me feel heavy. At that time, I went to Germany with a scholarship, and the plane ticket was bought by Lin at no cost. Besides, she found a job there very early and had enough money for my school.
On the one hand, my beloved Lin and my beloved Xin stand in the middle of these two kinds of love, which makes me in a dilemma. Ai Xin? No love. She's just emotional comfort and glue to make up for the wound after Lynn left me. I want to tell Xin, don't be silly, I don't love you. But I can't say that. This will only increase her pain. It is better to leave her a little dream and let her comfort herself with an impossible dream.
should i stay or should i go？ After two days of hard weighing, I decided to leave Xin. Before I leave, I will return the money to her and tell her the truth, so that she can't wait here, which is unfair to her.
When I knocked on the Xin family's small house, a strange man poked his head out and scared me. "What about Na Xin?" I asked.
"She moved away, she sold the house to us. Go find her somewhere else. "
"Where did she move?" I asked eagerly.
"Well, it seems to have moved to the other side of their factory." I was in the neighborhood next to her factory, and when I met someone, I asked, "Is there anything new here? There is a girl named Xin. "
Finally, I met Xin's mother at the gate of a small courtyard in the deepest part of an alley. She is building a coal stove there, and the smoke makes her cough. She was surprised to see me coming and asked me, "Kang Er, didn't you go to Germany?"
The room is small and cold, the windows haven't been pasted, and it's still windy everywhere. "Aunt, why did you move here?" I asked.
"Hey, I'm going to pay your tuition and sell the house."
"Didn't my uncle leave that money?"
"Where is he rich? Can you make money during the Cultural Revolution? "
When I stopped, I sat there and felt very painful. When a woman gives everything for you and loves you madly, you tell her cruelly that I don't love you and I love others. I can't do it.
Xin was surprised to see me when she came back. I hugged Xin and said, "Xin, I'm not going to Germany." Let's get married, now. "A word let sheen's tears flow down. She leaned on my shoulder and wept bitterly.
"Kang son, you go, I know everything, Lin saw me today. This is the money she gave me. You give her the money back. I don't need money-"Xin said, and took out twenty thousand dollars from his bag and put it there. "Kanger, you know I love you. I don't want money." After crying for a long time, she calmed down and said, "Kang Er, I know you don't love me. Even if you marry me, you will leave me. Don't be silly. Let's go. Lin is a good girl, you should treat her well. " Xin still has a smile on her face, but tears keep flowing down.
When the plane left the airport, I looked down at the night sky in Shenyang and my tears rolled down. Not for anything else, but for the woman I don't love who loves me-Xin.
After studying in Germany for one year, I was hired in advance by a research institution. The next year, Lin opened a communication equipment company, I was in charge of technology and she managed it. Because of her excellent organizational and management skills, the sales of this small communication company have soared year after year. By the fourth year, the company had made millions of profits. But I'm not happy at all. I am always crushed by the cross in my heart. I feel guilty about sheen. I wonder how she gets along every night. Is she married? Does she have a man who loves her?
In the past six years, I have sent hundreds of thousands of dollars to Xin again and again, and I have been returned again and again. The receipt says there is no such person.
For six years, I have been thinking about Xin. Is Xin laid off? The situation in their factory has not been very good. When I left Shenyang, they stopped paying for several months. Xin has no skill, strength and thin body. How can such a weak woman survive?
For six years, I have been blaming myself on my conscience. Finally, I boarded the plane back to China in May this year. I have traveled all over the streets of Shenyang, but I have never seen Xin again. Some people say that she went to other places, others say that after her mother died, she made a living by collecting garbage; Some people even said that she stood in the street and became a "miss".
I hate myself because I brought her to this state. Although I don't love her, she regards me as her spiritual pillar. When she knew that this pillar was going to be taken away by another woman, she still smiled and sold the house to raise his tuition.
When I went downstairs to her original cabin again, I heard a little girl childishly ask, "Uncle, do you want steamed bread?" Sauerkraut stuffing, 50 cents each. "
I quickly squatted down and hugged her and said, "By the way, where is it?"
"There," the little girl pointed, and a thin woman was selling steamed buns to passers-by.
My heart is shaking violently. Isn't that Xin-er? She was shocked when I held her tightly with trembling hands. Then, tears kept falling like broken beads, and then fell on my shoulder and cried.
"Mom, why are you crying?" The little girl cried with Xin-er's leg in her arms.
"Little girl, what's your name? Where's your father? " In order to hide my feelings, I secretly wiped the tears from my eyes when I was holding the little girl.
"Read kang, my name is read kang. I have no father. My father has gone abroad. " Ah, this sentence breaks my heart again.
I know that in this life, no one can forgive me, including myself.