It is often said that the purest friendship in the world exists only in childhood. This is an extremely sad sentence, and so many people agree. It is conceivable that life is lonely and difficult. I disagree with this sentence. Childhood friendship is just a pleasant joke, and what adults add by memory is very unreal. The true meaning of friendship comes from adulthood, and it is impossible to reach the best state before it is meaningful.
In fact, many people suddenly find themselves growing up in the sudden change of friendship and feelings. As if it were noon or evening, the difficulties encountered by a good classmate made you feel an unshirkable responsibility. You slow down and begin to understand the weight of life. At this moment, you suddenly grow up.
Yu Boya and Zhong Ziqi is clearly saying that no matter how important you are in the future, you will one day escape from the excitement and ride alone, just wanting to meet the mountains and rivers. If you go far, you may meet someone, like a woodcutter, like a hermit, like a passerby, who appears between you and the mountains and rivers. Just a few words will surprise you and make you regret it for life. However, God can't tolerate such perfection. You are doomed to lose him, and at the same time you will lose most of your life.
The story is led by music, then leads to Wan Li's loneliness, then leads to an eternal bosom friend, and then leads to the fragments of the lyre. A wordless starting point leads to a wordless ending, which is friendship. People can't express its sublimity and rarity in other words, so they can only keep it? High mountains and flowing water? Four words have become a strong and ethereal expectation in China culture.
Of course, I didn't know the position of this story in China culture that day, except that yesterday's friends were eclipsed, none of them counted? Confidante? . How can I have a bosom friend when I haven't made a decent voice? If you are a bosom friend, how can you give up searching hard in the vast sea of clouds and just land on your side and class? These questions made me seriously raise my head for the first time and stare at the streets and people in confusion. The friendship between Li Bai and Du Fu is probably the most admirable in the cultural history of China except Yu Boya and Zhong Ziqi, but their communication is so short. It's too late to get to know each other, and farewell is in a hurry. Li Bai's farewell poem is:? A thousand miles away, a cup in hand? Never met again. Affectionate Du Fu missed Li Bai from now on, and wrote unforgettable poems no matter where he lived. Li Bai should also miss him very much, but he has a wide range of friends, and Du Fu's name has never appeared in his poems. There seems to be a huge imbalance here, but the best feeling in the world is not conditional on balance. Even though Li Bai no longer missed him, Du Fu made a unilateral promise. Li Bai wants nothing from him, and he wants nothing from Li Bai.
Friendship is profound because there is nothing, whether it is balanced or unbalanced. The poet Zhou Tao described a profound balance:? Two trees talked noisily for a long time in summer and saw each other's yellow leaves falling in the autumn wind. They were silent for a while and said goodbye to each other: See you next summer! ?
Chu Chu wrote a profound imbalance:? I really want to live for you, but I'm exhausted. You didn't come at the end of my life. Just to see you one last time, I fell here. ? They are all unrequited depravity and poetic nobility.
In fact, what else can friends be wary of? No matter whether it is done or not, there is no explanation or explanation. It doesn't matter if you don't understand. Understanding is everything. Friends can always understand. If you don't understand, you are still friends? However, when misunderstanding inevitably comes into being, all the original unknowns turn into doubts, which is tantamount to adding injustice to the suspected party; There is no way to complain. His performance is definitely abnormal. Abnormal performance can only arouse greater suspicion, and mutual friendship immediately becomes unmanageable. Until now, the inertia of trust has made it impossible for both sides to tear their faces and expose them publicly. They still convey gloom in the darkness, and anger is superimposed on anger. This has formed a horrible psychological black box, in which the cable of friendship winds and circles, making a knot, forming a short circuit, and disastrous consequences are inevitable.
On Friendship (Montaigne) Human beings love communication more than any other activity, which may be given to us by instinct. Aristotle once said that the best judges value friendship more than justice. Friendship is varied and usually maintained by desires, interests and public or private needs. Therefore, the more mixed with other motives, purposes and interests, the more difficult it is to have something beautiful and sincere, and the less friendship there is.
From ancient times to the present, there are four kinds of friendship between men and women: blood, sociality, etiquette and love. Whether alone or together, it is not the perfect friendship to be discussed here.
Why is there no friendship between father and son? Because most children respect their fathers. Friendship needs communication, and the gap between father and son is the biggest. It is difficult to have such communication, and it may even hurt the natural obligation between father and son. A father should not reveal all his inner secrets to his son, resulting in inappropriate father-son relationship; At the same time, a son can't blame and point out his father's mistakes, which will stifle the most important duty of friendship.
Comparing love and friendship between men and women, although the former comes from our free choice, it does not belong to friendship. Although the flame of love is more active, hotter and braver, it is a rash and wavering flame. Hot and cold, changeable, make us very nervous. But in friendship, it is an ordinary warmth, stability, tranquility and durability; It is gentle and peaceful, and will not make people feel pain and discomfort. But in love, we have an arrogance to pursue what we can't get urgently.
? If love enters the stage of friendship, that is, mutual appreciation, it will gradually fade away and then disappear. Love aims at physical pleasure, and once it is satisfied, it ceases to exist; However, the more desirable the friendship, the more people will like it. Friendship will further grow, expand and develop after it is acquired, because it is spiritual and the soul will sublimate from it.
As for marriage, it's a transaction. Only the population is free, and its continuation is mandatory, depending on something beyond our will, and this kind of transaction is usually full of other motives and good purposes. In addition, there are countless complicated and intractable complexes to be solved, which are enough to destroy the relationship between floats and disrupt the process of feelings. However, friendship does not involve any other transactions except itself.
What we usually call friends and good friendships are frequent exchanges and intimate relationships linked by the same opportunities in our hearts.
Roman consul is going to execute Tiberius? After the Gracchus incident, he continued to persecute some people he knew, his best friend Caius? Blosius is one of them. Lerimas asked Brosius what he was willing to do for his friend in front of the Roman consul, and Brohughes' answer was everything. Lelimas said again,? What? Everything? What if he wants you to burn down our temple? Brohughes retorted. He would never do such a thing. But he insisted on doing so, Lelimas continued. Brohughes answered? Then I will do it. ? According to historical records, if Brohughes is a true friend of Gracchus, he should not give up his trust in Gracchus's personality. But those who accused him of inflammatory remarks didn't know the secret, and they didn't know what Brohughes had. Actually, the two of them are very close. Because of their deep friendship, they trust and admire each other. Let reason and reason guide such trust, and you will find that Brotheus should answer like this. If their actions and ideas are inconsistent, then they are no longer friends.
Never compare ordinary friendship with friendship here. If you confuse the two, it is easy to make mistakes. For general friendship, people walk as carefully as a rope that can only be used. The rope must be carefully cared for so as not to break. ? To love him, you must think that one day you will hate him; When you hate him, think that you may love him again. ? Kay Long Xing said. This rule is extremely disgusting for noble friendship, but it is very necessary and beneficial for ordinary friendship. For the latter, we must use Aristotle's words: Oh, my friends, no one in the world is a friend. ?
Grace and interests gave birth to this common friendship, but in the supreme friendship, we can't find its trace, because our will has been completely blended. We will get help from our friends when necessary, but no matter what the Stoics claim, our friendship has not deepened. We won't appreciate what we have done. The combination of friends is the real perfection. Friends have no sense of obligation, and they hate words that cause differences and disputes, such as interests, obligations, gratitude, prayer, etc. , has disappeared from their field of vision. In fact, everything between them, including will, thoughts, opinions, property, wife, children, honor and life, belongs to * * *. They acted in unison. According to Aristotle's definition, they are two bodies occupied by one soul, so nothing can be given or obtained between them. This is why legislators forbid couples to give gifts to each other, so that marriage and this sacred friendship have some imaginary similarities. Once we can infer that everything belongs to both husband and wife, nothing can separate each other.
Ordinary friendship can be shared, and you can appreciate the beauty of this person, the romance and wisdom of that person; You can also like this person's fatherly love, that person's brotherhood, and so on. However, supreme friendship commands and controls our souls and cannot be shared with others. If two friends ask you for help at the same time, who will you help? If two people asked you to do something of opposite nature, who would you listen to? If one person asks you to keep a secret for him, and another person wants to know, how will you handle it and get out of trouble? Unique and noble friendship will link all responsibilities and exempt all obligations. The secret you swore to keep, you will never break your oath and tell anyone except yourself.
It's amazing that a person can be divided into two. Those who want to divide themselves into three are really ignorant. Nothing unique in the world will be the same.
Minand, an ancient man, believed that only when he met the shadow of a friend would he be considered happy.
From the perspective of human culture and happiness, I don't think there is an invention in human history that is more meaningful and important than smoking, drinking and drinking tea, and has a more direct contribution to enjoying leisure, friendship, communication and conversation. These three things have several characteristics: First, they have such a great influence on culture that our trains have not only dining cars but also smoking carriages, as well as pubs and teahouses. In China and Britain, drinking tea has at least become a social fashion.
The proper enjoyment of cigarettes, wine and tea can only be developed in an atmosphere of leisure, friendship and intimacy. Because only those who have the feeling of accompanying life, make friends carefully and love leisure can enjoy cigarettes, wine and tea. Without the social essence, then these things are meaningless. Appreciate these things, appreciate the moon, snow and flowers, you must have quite a few friends, because I think this is what life artists in China often insist on. Some flowers must be enjoyed with some people and some scenery must be enjoyed with some women. If you want to enjoy the rain, you must also enjoy it on the bamboo couch in a remote mountain temple in summer. In short, the most important thing is the mood. Everything has a particularly suitable mood, and inappropriate friends will completely destroy that mood. Therefore, the first point that living artists insist on is that anyone who wants to enjoy life must find some friends with similar interests, without having to bother to promote and maintain friendship, just like a wife holding her husband, or like a clever chess player visiting another chess player thousands of miles away. With such a relaxed attitude and good friends around, we can have tea. Because tea is for quiet companions, just as wine is for lively social gatherings. Tea is another kind of nature, which can bring us to the meditation realm of life. Drinking tea when the baby is crying, or drinking tea with men and women who talk a lot, is as bad as picking tea on rainy days or cloudy days. Tea was picked on a sunny morning, when the air on the mountain was thin and the dew was still there. The enjoyment of solid tea is still related to the illusory fragrance and elegance of dew. Taoism strongly advocates returning to nature, and in our concept of nourishing the universe by yin and yang, dew represents? Liquid nectar? In the imagination of ordinary people, this dew is a wonderful food. If humans and wild animals drink enough of this stuff, there is a good hope of immortality. Dickens said it well. He said, tea? Always the favorite drink of intellectuals? However, China people seem to go further and associate tea with superb hermits.
Then tea is a symbol of human purity. From picking, baking, storage, and finally brewing and drinking, we should use the cleanest method, greasy hands or greasy cups. Not being clean at all is the elegance of drinking tea easily. Therefore, it is best to enjoy drinking tea in an environment where there are no extravagant things in front of you and no extravagant ideas in your heart. When a man is with a prostitute, he finally finds pleasure in wine. Instead of finding pleasure in tea; Prostitutes are qualified to drink tea, and they are the favorite people of China poets and literati. Su Dongpo drinks tea again? Lovely girl? However, Tian Yiheng, the author of Boiling Spring Essays, immediately restricted it, saying that if tea must be used to compare women, it can only be called Magu Fairy. As for it? Peach face and thin waist, should want to screen the golden curtain, my spring stone is not vulgar. ? He added:? Forget the noise when sipping tea, which means you can't speak. ?
People who really love tea find it a pleasure to fiddle with the utensils for cooking and drinking tea. For example, Cai Xiang. He is too old to drink tea, but he still uses it to cook and play every day, and he is used to it. Another scholar, Zhou Wenpu, drinks tea six times every morning to evening. He liked its teapot very much and was buried with it after his death.
The art and skill of drinking tea is as follows:
First, tea leaves are most easily polluted by other smells, so they must be absolutely clean from beginning to end and must be isolated from wine and other odorous things.
Second, tea must be placed in a cool and dry place; In the wet season, people must put the tea they often need in a special small pot, preferably a tin pot; The rest of the tea is hidden in a big pot and will not be opened until it is necessary; If the pickled tea leaves are moldy, put them in a pot and bake them with slow fire. Don't use a pot cover, always use a fan to fan the wind to prevent the tea leaves from turning yellow and fading.
Third, half of the art of making tea is to obtain fresh water; The spring water on the mountain is the best, followed by river water and well water; If tap water comes from a pool, that's good, because the pool comes from a mountain spring.
Fourth, to appreciate good tea, one must have some quiet friends, not too many at a time.
Fifth, the normal color of tea is generally light yellow. Dark red tea must be drunk with milk, lemon or mint, or what food should be used to disperse the astringency of tea.
Sixth, the best tea has a aftertaste, which can only be achieved in the last half minute when the chemical composition of tea interacts with saliva.
Seventh, tea must be brewed and drunk immediately. If you want to make good tea, you shouldn't put it in the pot for too long, which will make the tea taste too strong.
Eighth, be sure to make tea with freshly boiled water.
Ninth, there are no impurities, although if someone likes to mix some other flavors (such as jasmine or cinnamon), that's fine.