People are like a magnet, attracting people with similar ideas and like-minded, and rejecting other heterogeneous people. If you want to make friends with kind and generous people, you must first become such a person, as you sow, so you reap. All your thoughts will eventually come back to you.

As early as 2500 years ago, Confucius said an old saying: "Don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you." . This sentence tells the true meaning of being a man.

The so-called "don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you" means pushing others with your own heart; How do you want to live, you think others will want to live; If you don't want others to treat you, don't treat others like that; I hope I can stand up and understand in society, and I will also help others stand up and understand. In short, start from your own heart, push yourself and others, understand others, and be kind to others. "Don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you" simply means putting yourself in others' shoes, which is the same as what China folks often say: put yourself in others' shoes.

Why do some people think so well of others?

The real reason is: as you sow, you reap.

Sow an action and you will reap a habit; Sow a habit and you will get a personality; Sow a personality and you will get a destiny; Sow a good thing and you will get a good result; Sow evil deeds and you will get a bad result.

You have the right to treat others unfairly, but your unfair attitude will make you "eat your own fruit" Moreover, further, the consequences of every thought you release will return to yourself. Because all your behaviors and thoughts about others are recorded in your subconscious through the principle of self-suggestion, the nature of these behaviors and thoughts will modify your own personality, and your personality is equivalent to a magnetic field, attracting people or situations with the same personality to you.

To be exact, "don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you" means: civilization. It is not easy for a person to truly become a civilized person. It is precisely because this is a very high and difficult requirement that our society now always advocates "spiritual civilization construction" repeatedly.

There have been many sages in China, who pushed themselves and others. The story of Dayu's water control is a noble example of "Don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you" and "Don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you". When Dayu accepted the task of water control, he just married a girl from Tushan Stone. When he thought of someone being drowned, his heart was as painful and uneasy as that of his loved one being drowned. So he bid farewell to his wife and led 270,000 flood control people to carry out flood relief work day and night. In the process of water control, Dayu went through the house three times and refused to enter. After 13 years of fighting, nine big rivers were dredged, and the floods went into the sea, eliminating the floods, which made immortal achievements. After that, there was a folk song called "Dayu Harnessing Water":

Dayu has been managing water for thirteen years and devoted himself to solving problems for the people.

Field observation and investigation, unity and diligence to listen to opinions.

3. Stay indoors, forget to eat and sleep.

Rivers were dredged, floods were destroyed, and everyone was happy to irrigate farmland.

During the Warring States Period, a man named Bai Gui talked to Mencius about this matter. He boasted, "If I were allowed to control water, I would certainly do better than Yu. Wouldn't it be much easier if I dredged the river and let the flood flow to neighboring countries? Mencius said to him rudely, "You are wrong! If neighboring countries are used as catchment areas, floods will flow back and cause even greater disasters. People with kindness don't do this. This is the origin of the idiom "beggar thy neighbor".

Judging from the two stories of Dayu's water conservancy and Bai Gui's talk about water conservancy, Bai Gui only thinks of himself, not others. This wrong idea of "don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you" is inevitable. Dayu's efforts to control the water and the sea, though arduous, eliminated the disasters of both his own people and those of neighboring countries. How worthy of our admiration and imitation is this spirit of putting yourself in others' shoes.

The moral feelings of "putting yourself in the other's shoes" have a wide influence not only in China, but also all over the world. It is said that in the headquarters of the International Red Cross, Confucius' famous saying "Don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you" hangs, which reflects the human yearning for good interpersonal relationships.

China has a saying: "Man and everything prosper". Good words and deeds of others are the lubricant to achieve "harmony between people". May all descendants of the Chinese people always push themselves and others everywhere, so that the flowers of the splendid civilization of 5,000 years will bloom more brilliantly and fragrant. The popularization of this point is of great significance to the whole society, thus achieving global harmony and glory through the power of China's traditional culture.

Confucius, another great saint in China, said, "Don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you." Christian classics also advocate "don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you." This is actually teaching us to treat others as ourselves in interpersonal relationships. Impose what you don't like on others, as the officialdom says: "Marxism gives people, liberalism gives yourself." This is only bad for interpersonal communication and the establishment of good interpersonal relationships.

Under normal circumstances, others will not like what they don't like; What you hate, others may hate; What you like may not be acceptable to others. Therefore, we cannot impose our likes and dislikes on others. It can be said that others are forced to be like us.

Anonymous bought a fashionable coat. After she went back, she looked in the mirror for a long time and found that her skin color was not suitable for this dress, so anonymous insisted on selling the clothes she bought to her friends. My friend has never been in line with anonymous's aesthetic, and she really felt that the dress didn't meet her temperament, so she refused. Anonymous tried every means to get this dress from his friend. The two eventually broke up in discord, and a pair of good friends parted ways because of a dress.

If others scold you, you will be unhappy. Don't call names casually. You don't want to be cheated, so you'd better not cheat others; You hate people telling you what to do behind your back, so don't criticize others behind their backs and gossip about them. This is "don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you".

People are used to understanding and treating others from their own roles and positions, so there are different degrees of self-centered thinking. People are used to blaming each other for contradictions in communication. The two sides hold their own words and do not give in to each other. Naturally, it is difficult to reach mutual understanding, because people are used to "don't do to others what you don't want them to do to you".

Fuller said, "He who throws dirty things at others makes himself the dirtiest."

For thousands of years, human beings have always followed such a law when dealing with interpersonal relationships: as you sow, you reap. No matter how you treat others, whether you plant good causes or evil causes, what you impose on others is your own likes or dislikes, which will eventually be repaid to you.

You can impose your own preferences on others, but you will soon find that you have been imposed by others. Although you feel uncomfortable, what can you do?

Wolf and Pei are good friends. They often steal chickens and ducks together, so there is a story of collusion. Once, they stole a farmer's chicken. Wolves who like to drink chicken blood suggest that wolves who like meat also drink chicken blood. The wolf and the wolf were unhappy, had a big fight and parted ways.

In fact, as long as you learn to exchange roles, you can solve the problem of "don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you".

The so-called "role exchange" is to look at and evaluate the self as the subject as the object from the other side's standpoint. Only in this way can we understand others fairly and treat ourselves objectively.

When a person works as a waiter in a hotel, he always feels that people who come to eat find fault with him, which is really difficult to serve; But if he goes to the restaurant as an ordinary person, he will think that the waiter is not responsible enough as a customer. This is the result of considering the problem only from one's own standpoint.

A person may feel that his superiors don't understand the situation and the difficulties of the masses when dealing with the orders of his superiors, but when dealing with his subordinates, he often looks at the problem from the standpoint of leadership and thinks that subordinates should obey their own wishes. This is precisely because they only look at the problem from their own standpoint.

The role of role exchange can overcome the shortcomings of self-centeredness.

Role exchange in interpersonal communication can include the following two aspects: First, put yourself in the other person's shoes. Only in this way can we reasonably understand each other's behavior and attitude. Some people often feel smart and like to talk about other people's behaviors. "If I were him, I would never do that." There are actually three possibilities for people who say these words:

1. He is indeed better than others, but not necessarily worse than others.

He likes "being wise after the event" and belongs to "Monday morning quarterback". Only when others' actions are effective will he make the right choice.

He didn't consider each other's situation. Putting yourself aside may not be as good as others.

Only by realizing the difficulties of others can we understand others well and improve the communication effect.

The second aspect of role exchange is to treat others with the attitude that the object is me. When you do something or express an attitude towards others, you should first consider what kind of psychological impact it may have on the other party. If it will cause pain to each other, we should consider how to change our behavior. Role swapping can make you feel the other person's feelings in this situation and prevent you from doing anything that hurts the other person's feelings.

People should be open-minded and patient. Some people are narrow-minded and vindictive, or play tricks on others with malicious jokes and spread lies to hurt others. The result is both harmful and isolated. Therefore, to establish a good interpersonal relationship, we must "do to others what you don't want others to do to you". We should be strict with ourselves, take the lead, be meticulous and conscientious; Treat people with courtesy and keep your promise in daily communication. If you have conflicts with others, you should first review yourself and think more about each other. Be humble and polite to others, understand others, be considerate of others, and be "reasonable and pleasant". In this way, you can unite more people, build good interpersonal relationships and create more chances for success.