The most thought-provoking thing is the parent-child relationship. The parent-child relationship of wealthy families is the weakest among all groups, just like that of poor families. To borrow a sentence from Dr. Levin: praise can't replace warmth, and grandiose self-confidence can't replace self-sufficiency. Parent-child relationship has nothing to do with family economic conditions. What he needs first is warmth and sincerity. )
First, I watched the battle songs of Tiger Mother, and then I watched the tragedy of gifted children. The former made me relive all kinds of childhood wounds, while the latter helped me heal them. These two books happen to coincide, but from completely opposite angles, they re-present all kinds of frustrations and traps I experienced during my growth. From then on, I felt my heart began to melt and become relaxed. (Not everyone has to succeed)
4. The missing part of my life: give yourself the opportunity to find happiness and create the opportunity to find freedom.
In Paradise Lost, Milton's Satan is not the monster described in the poem, but the cleverest angel. It was his inflated ambition that led to his downfall. He came to the Garden of Eden and ruined the happiness of Adam and Eve. He looked around, in the heart initiation:
The more I see my happiness,
On the contrary, the more I feel tortured inside,
As if surrounded by hatred;
Good things can turn into bad things,
I will be more miserable in heaven.
This is the essence of jealousy-the better others are, the worse you feel, because that good situation doesn't belong to you. Satan expressed this meaning more succinctly in his poems: "I am hell." The people of the world are United, so allow others to live better than you. )
6. "Universities forget that their greater educational responsibility for the growth of college students is to help them find themselves and their mission. In fact, universities have been unable to prove the essence of their education. "
7. The curriculum design of a university simply "has no firm long-term goal, let alone the ability to define the qualities that an educated person should possess".
8. Began to develop "general education". The most famous examples are the "classic courses" of Columbia University and Chicago University. The reason why colleges and universities still have professional classification today is essentially a competition between the two concepts in depth and breadth. This kind of competition exists not only between professional and non-professional categories, but also between professional and professional. Almost in other parts of the world, whether in Britain or France, a chemist only studies chemistry.
General education is very important.
9. But it is essentially a vocational technical school, because their teaching spirit is like this. Everything is centered on technology. Although famous schools like to tell the world that their teaching purpose is to cultivate students' thinking ability, what they really do is to cultivate students' analytical ability and speech ability, paving the way for their success in business and professional fields.
10 Students who have received praise education since childhood, their self-confidence comes from perfectionism, so they do not have the ability to accept criticism. Because of his excellent study since childhood, he is called a perfect student, and he is under great pressure (so the baby who praises blindly can't stand criticism. )
1 1. In top universities, the main business is all kinds of extracurricular activities that make people physically and mentally exhausted. It turns out that learning is really a by-product. But sensory learning is the most important thing, and participation in extracurricular activities should be done, not done.
12. Low-level factors measure the degree to which a person participates in something and finally the quality of this thing is completed. This data is obtained by dividing 24 hours a day by the time individuals spend on each study and extracurricular activity. Therefore, where time is spent, growth is there.
13. The only way for the whole system to work is for everyone, including professors, to lower their requirements. Admittedly, elite students really work hard. As a group, they have always been smart, but now the quality of what they do may not be able to maintain a high standard.
I see. Reading can really solve doubts.
14. We have to ask: How can a person be so smart, so talented and so enterprising? The answer is no and no. Franco is not, and neither are the others. Getting into a prestigious school is almost unattainable, but once you get in, as long as you attend classes, to a great extent, you can survive.
It turns out that, like China, this book can give us a glimpse of American elite education, which is really good.
15. However, because SAT scores are often closely related to family background, colleges and universities actually allocate funds to students who do not need financial aid, ignoring families who really need financial aid.
Yes, the better the family financial situation, the greater the possibility of reading well. Now reading is also a kind of resource allocation.
16. The commercial operation of colleges and universities leads schools to sacrifice students' long-term interests in order to meet their short-term needs, which is completely contrary to the original intention of education. I seem to see the shadow of Zhejiang University.
17. Socrates believes that teaching is to help individuals re-recognize their true pursuit. normal solution
18. Of course, among my classmates, some people think that college education has benefited them a lot, but they always add, "If you want to find it, you will have a chance." The implication is that you must look for it and do it really hard. Ross donat said about his alma mater, "Harvard is still one of the best educational institutions in the world". But "it will not actively educate you, nor will it profoundly guide or influence you, or even challenge you". Mark Edmundson, a professor at the University of Virginia, suggested: "To get a real education, no matter how famous the school is, you must confront it." In fact, the more prestigious schools you are, the more you must strive for them.
Universities provide resources, and top universities often provide superior resources, which is why they are admitted to top universities and go to big companies. However, the road of life needs to be taken by yourself.
19. Students have repeatedly reminded me that the education provided by the school can neither help them approach their ideals nor guide them to pursue them. They feel abandoned. It should be said that the primary protection object of colleges and universities is such students, but such students often become the most unsuitable group in the current college system.
Why? .
20. James B. Conant, the former president of Harvard University, started a talent promotion campaign in 1930s, adopting a two-pronged strategy: while attracting a few students with special talents as talents, most of the places were reserved for future business people, namely alumni donors. The two are complementary people. Now the school can kill two birds with one stone: after careful planning, screening and training, it has realized the integration of talents and donors. Rich, virtuous and talented
2 1 I have been to many places in recent years, and I feel the students' strong hunger: they want to know the greater direction and significance of life; They hope that universities can pay more attention to their growth needs as human beings, and then cultivate their abilities in specific fields; They hope that the university can guide them to answer important questions in life; Or hope that the school can give students space and time to think about life problems and get corresponding vocabulary to share, but this is what universities lack today. In the next chapter, we will focus on how to satisfy this hunger.
So the ideal is above, the reality is below, and the ideal is instructive.
22. Investigating the mission of a university is tantamount to pursuing the purpose of life, that is, the meaning of social existence and the meaning of human existence.
The responsibility of a university is to teach students how to think first.
24. Before learning, first "empty".
25. Extensive knowledge and elegant life
What is liberal arts education?
26. Self-taught people are often eccentric, dull and self-enclosed. Being told by two people that I am not open enough? What do you mean, open?
Therefore, it is necessary to keep a diary. Every diary is a kind of reflection and introspection.
27. So the importance of a good university, a good university, everything it provides is top-notch, and you can learn more about the truth of the world. If we don't get into a good university, fortunately, we can still study.
What everyone really needs to cultivate in college is the habit of reflection, that is, the ability to grow from change.
29. Real education, like real religion, cultivates us into unique individuals. When necessary, we can completely ignore other people's comments on you. Of course, the goal of this kind of education goes beyond the workers who only contribute GDP to the country or qualified citizens with public awareness. Self-awareness is an extremely private space where you can find your own strength, security, autonomy, creativity and happiness.
30. The reason why a person is interesting is that he reads a lot, is used to thinking, slows down, has in-depth dialogues, and creates a full inner world for himself.
At the same time, I happened to visit a friend who was studying in the School of Architecture. I found her unhappy, too. Her course is so theoretical that all the students are pretentious, so she wants to give up. The moment that changed my life happened on the day when our two old friends were talking and laughing. When she announced "I must go to graduate school", my first reaction was "I must go to graduate school". I must give myself a chance to learn English literature. I won't let myself miss it again, otherwise I will never be happy. What happened was incredible, even my reaction at that time was a little unreasonable, but I could still accurately point out the specific place at that moment.
32. If you want to cross this mountain, why not be afraid of the tide? It is time to set sail.
This sentence is super cool
33. Choose to do something spontaneous and pure, just like when I was a child; Choose to do something you would choose to do even without external rewards; Choose to do something you can focus on; Doing what you like best is not what you think you like or should like, but your true love. ? Work and life are like this. Choose true love and you will have no regrets.
On the basis of satisfying basic material conditions, a person's happiness comes from a healthy social circle and engaging in meaningful work.
35. Modern society gives individuals the freedom to think and choose, which is both a gift and a burden. Freedom may bring panic and loss, so it is easier for us to give up. Yes, but I still want to live in my own way, just need some guidance.
36. Ideals are like religious beliefs. In my observation, students with religious beliefs have the strongest spiritual autonomy and the lowest dependence on external voices.
What she found in these people is that they are more willing to take risks. I like being my own boss.
The purpose of a university is not to work, but to experience education.
39. Skill, making mistakes is the foundation of wisdom ". Always successful (that is, never failing) is not a manifestation of ability, but a manifestation of vulnerability, because out of fear of failure, individuals often give up some opportunities that could have made them achieve themselves.
Samuel beckett's famous aphorism warns us that "even if we are defeated, we should get honor", and "honor" here refers to personal gain and growth. If the standard we set is to be truly responsible for ourselves, then in the process of striving to meet the standard, we should experience constant failure. We may be complacent because we got straight A's and reached the unified standards of the masses perfectly, but this kind of success obviously cannot be compared with real Excellence.
A new understanding of mistakes, yes, when you don't make progress, you basically don't make mistakes. When you are making progress, you are exposed to different things, and the chances of making mistakes are high, but you are making progress and really growing.
When I complained about my parents' lack of discipline, I have now embarked on the road of self-discipline.
40. American philosopher ralph emerson likes to quote oliver cromwell, an outstanding British military general: "A man can only reach the top if he doesn't know where he is going.". On the other hand, when you try to reject uncertainty, you reject the meaning of life.
4 1. Rem Bond's life and works inspired many young dreamers, and his humble wisdom inspired me a lot. Who is Rem Bond?
42. I wonder if today's young people still have the courage to explore the blueprint for rebuilding themselves!
43. It is better to devote yourself to the work itself than to strive for success. This principle has become the Polaris that has always accompanied me in the dark.
44. The reason why more and more people tend to look at higher education with the relationship between investment and return is that the cost of investment is increasing day by day.
I see
45. Children in real low-income families face much stronger internal contradictions than others, and the room for making mistakes is much smaller than others.
46. The simple life in peacetime is a kind of freedom in itself, because you can adapt to the simple life better.
Parents let us know from childhood that work is to make a living, and occupation is to do what you love and get economic returns. My success in my career is based on my parents' work. "
48. The first relationship between parents and children should be "friends". This is an extraordinary relationship!
49. I want to give some suggestions on how to improve myself during my college years. Communicate with your parents not more than once a week, preferably once a month. You don't need to tell your parents about your achievements in papers or exams, or even your days at school. Meanwhile, don't expect to ask your parents for help. If they are involved in your course selection or details of college life, please politely refuse. If they don't accept your rejection, then you need to tell them loudly that the university belongs to you completely, not to them. new thought
50. Combing all the questions, I found that the most common question is also the most difficult question to answer, which is generally nothing more than the following: "What should I do?" "What school should I go to?" "What major should I study?" "Which direction should I go after graduation?" Wait a minute. Of course I can understand the feelings of the questioner, but these questions are not for me or others to answer. The practical advice I can give is what you have heard: take time to rest or slow down, jump out of the endless trap of chasing fame and fortune, get rid of the state of being managed all the time, explore the outside world, and develop skills that you have never had a chance to acquire.
5 1. Although I regret wasting a lot of time in college and the next few years, I finally realize that some form of "waste" and "laziness" is also necessary and healthy. Waste is not really waste, just like being unpractical, especially when it makes you unhappy. Writer Charles Whelan summed up his observation: "Interesting and successful people often lead irregular lives."
Aristotle once said that happiness comes from our ability to play what we are good at, that is, each of us has some special skills, but only some. An important part of knowing yourself is knowing what you have; Going against one's nature can only get twice the result with half the effort. Each of us came into this world with a golden spoon in his mouth.
We have to ask, how did he get this position? Who knows! He kept the secret so tight that he couldn't even fly out. Perhaps his heart is simply empty, which has to make people reflect.
Several adjectives that describe the characters, ordinary, ordinary, and then ordinary, can't leave an impression. When I read this book for the first time 15, I suddenly realized that this kind of character description is simply the perfect epitome of my former boss, a person who rose to a stable position smoothly under the bureaucratic system. She also has a wooden expression on her face, but more like a big shark.
54. Leadership means responsibility, honor, courage, perseverance, affinity and selflessness.
It is better to train leaders than to train excellent citizens and thinkers. Thinkers are a group of people who dare to question authority, not those who pursue authority wholeheartedly. I don't want to be a thinker, but a doer.
54. If you are an environmentalist, then the object of resistance is other environmentalists; If you are a liberal, then your goal is other liberals. Being with your own group doesn't mean going with the flow in your mind.
55. In any living or working environment, there are always some questions you shouldn't ask. As leaders and thinkers, we have the responsibility to find out and reveal these thorny problems. When you question and challenge * * *' s age-old knowledge, especially the present situation of life that everyone has long been accustomed to, you will attract people's disgust. Because your behavior forces everyone to question together, but they may have been trying to cover up their doubts. It really takes a lot of courage for you to do so.
56. Innovative social entrepreneurship has existed for a long time and is not a unique product of the Millennium. We might as well review the changes in the past 20 years, especially observe two fields closely related to social culture: science and technology and food. Smartphone, iPad, direct selling market of agricultural products and sustainable agricultural model are all good progress, aren't they? Of course, the premise is that you have matching spending power. In contrast, let's seriously study the changes in the other two areas: politics and economy. Iraq war, civil solidarity movement, financial crisis, increasing social inequality. We seem to prefer to avoid talking about politics or economy. In contrast, "creative" people are busy developing all kinds of "toys", but the whole world falls into a deeper abyss.
57. Politics is an ugly and long war.
58. The current service project is a group of middle-class "saviors" who come to the poor and helpless people with a sense of narcissism and virtue.
The first thing I suggest is that universities should teach young people to learn to think. Critic Lionel Cui Lin quoted the title of an article by his colleague-"Being smart is morality and responsibility". The emphasis here is not to ask everyone to have a high IQ, not to emphasize talent, but to ask students to learn to use their intelligence and realize it in an honest and ethical way.
60. We are busy perfecting our resumes, starting with perfecting our ideas. Protect yourself and help the world!
6 1. Part III What should we get from universities? It is believed that it is the educational pursuit of every family to create themselves, know themselves and cultivate independent critical thinking ability.
62. Another study found that "college graduates generally have obvious deficiencies in communication and teamwork, and they cannot look at a complex project from multiple perspectives. Only14 students have the ability to think and write for work. " Thinking and writing skills are very important.
63. The mainstream of the future is people who can build new industries and create new jobs, not people who serve existing industries.
Richard Greenwald Greenwald mentioned in his book The Microenterprise Age that the qualities that a new person should possess include "breadth of knowledge, interdisciplinary cultural knowledge, information sensitivity and flexibility in dealing with others".
In addition, "lifelong learning ability, continuous growth and innovative attitude" are indispensable.
66. The ultimate goal of liberal arts education is not pragmatism, but to cultivate your thinking ability beyond time and space, regardless of the nature of your job. Liberal arts education focuses on the rights and interests of citizens, the interests of others and the construction of a healthy, creative and free self.
67. Importance of books
? Books, like an axe, open a path for our frozen inner ocean. Books are icebreakers on the ice sheet of our minds.
68. When we read an article or appreciate a work of art, the most crucial question is not whether I understand it, but whether the article or work of art can arouse my admiration and help me understand myself better. The significance of establishing contact with yourself and being close to the development zone
69. No wonder some psychological counselors use literary works for consultation. Words have a healing effect.
Art plays down egoism, teaches us compassion and improves our emotional intelligence. Maybe art can really make you better.
70. Personally, only by knowing your own past can you understand the motives behind your words. Everyone has everyone's history, which makes that person have different coping styles and attitudes.
7 1. Since the present can be different from the past, the future can also be different from the present. To be a leader, the past is the most suitable starting point.
72. Frankly speaking, the greatest progress in the future of the United States is to enable Asians and Hispanics to exert influence in different fields.
73. We no longer deliberately distinguish between work on the left and life on the right; General education is above, and majors are below. They are the unity of integration and mutual penetration.
Both humanities and majors should be paid attention to.
74. The reason why inquiry learning is widely adopted in American schools is to enable the next generation to master the ability to ask questions, express ideas and innovate. We avoid cramming in India. We don't use the early triage system in Germany to divide children into academic groups and vocational and technical groups, and we don't follow the example of British undergraduates who only study a single subject. As a country, the United States has always wanted to cultivate versatile citizens.
We in China like to eat duck.
75. Then what are we looking for? Should everyone be dissatisfied with the status quo and learn to challenge the existing public order and work system? Yes, that's it. The United States is a * * * and country, the original intention is that everyone * * * governs the country together.
The ideal professor that students expect is a mentor who challenges students' ability and pays attention to students' personal development, with the emphasis on "mentor".
77. Excellent students can get more opportunities to emerge in state schools, so they have a closer relationship with professors. Brian Johns Luther further expressed his views in this respect:
Just like you are just a grass in Tsinghua and a treasure in Zhejiang University.
78. The more important question is why you want to go to university and how to make use of it than which university you go to. What factors will you consider when planning the list of universities you want to attend and visiting the campus? Maybe you will be attracted by luxurious student dormitories or first-class gymnasium facilities, but you should pay more attention to the quality of students and teachers. The ideal way to get to know a school is to audition in class, but most college applicants can't do this.
79. "Trying to catch everything with your brain is not more noble than catching it with your fist. Yes, there is always a division of labor in this society. Some people have to work, some people have to manage, but managers should not take all the benefits. "