The next day, the boy asked the girl, "So you should be my girlfriend now?"
The American girl replied, "no, although I like being with you very much, I'm not ready to be boyfriend and girlfriend too soon." Let's keep in touch. "
Later, after many dates, they formally established the relationship between men and women.
The girl later said, "You scared me at that time. It was too casual to say that I was your girlfriend so early. It was easy to recognize someone."
The boy was speechless for a moment, and he couldn't figure out who was careless.
It's not hard to see the differences between China and Americans in dating:
China people are used to establishing relationships first, and then having in-depth communication, while Americans are more open to "sex" on the surface, but they are very conservative about the boundary of "love relationship".
In China's traditional love stories, many beautiful free loves are always subject to secular values.
On the other hand, westerners' love view, they yearn for liberalism, pursue boldly and advocate "people-oriented".
It is different cultures and love concepts that lead to different love and dating habits in real life. On Valentine's Day, Bian Xiao will compare the differences between Chinese and American love relationships with everyone!
Dating culture in America
In the United States, dating usually means that men and women go to a movie, have a cup of coffee and have a meal together, which is a good opportunity to enhance mutual understanding and seek happiness. Different from the one-on-one dating culture in China, American men and women at this stage may not only date one opposite sex, but they may date several opposite sexes at the same time and choose the one who is more suitable for them.
In the American TV series Gossip Girl, when Serena started dating an artist who had a crush on her, she was disappointed to find that she was still dating many girls. However, after the artist explained his views on dating culture to her, Serena expressed his understanding and acceptance, and continued dating artists until they agreed to become a one-on-one relationship.
In China, there has always been an unwritten one-on-one rule in dating, otherwise it will be considered as "love rat love rat", "bad personality", "playboy" and "unreliable" by others.
Moreover, dating in China culture is often more purposeful. For example, the purpose of most men and women dating from the sky is whether they can fall in love or not, and the purpose of love is to get married, as if "love without marriage purpose is hooliganism." Therefore, the "one-on-one" between men and women in China emphasizes the purpose of marriage to some extent.
Before Americans become formal boyfriend and girlfriend, the dating stage can be long or short, and they may "evolve" into boyfriend and girlfriend, maintaining the status quo or "regress", unlike China people who are very clear about the stage of their relationship.
The following is the process that ordinary American love will go through:
meeting
The beginning of love is also the stage when men and women meet for the first time.
hang about
Go out to play together, attend parties, etc. At this time, we get along like friends. In this way, we can confirm who will be our next date.
Nud Gub Nud
Through preliminary understanding, the two sides have confirmed that the other party is the object they want to know more about, so they started a separate date. Eating, shopping and watching movies are all daily activities at this stage.
Generally speaking, the relationship between the two people seems a bit ambiguous, but there is no name, just a deeper understanding of each other.
In the process of dating, American youth mostly adopt AA system, which will not cause pressure on both sides. Even if we are not together in the future, we may naturally become friends.
In addition, at this stage, when two people send a good signal to each other, they will also grasp the discretion. Compared with the meaningful "I love you", they are more willing to say "I like you" first to maintain a relaxed and friendly relationship.
Establish a relationship
Through getting along and understanding step by step, the two sides have gradually transitioned to the stage of "establishing birthright", when the man will officially announce that the other party is his girlfriend.
The next step is engagement, marriage, and even some couples don't get married until they have children, just maintaining a "relationship" relationship.
As you can imagine, in the process of communication between men and women, if either party is not satisfied, it is natural to terminate the subsequent development at any time without taking any responsibility for the other party.
As for sexual behavior, except for some people with religious beliefs, sexual behavior may occur at any stage from meeting men and women to having sex.
For example, under the influence of alcohol, the bar culture that Americans are keen on may have sex at the first meeting stage, as long as both parties are willing.
This is not a signal that they will continue to associate or date in the future. Of course, it does not rule out the possibility that they will continue dating, blind date or even enter the marriage hall.
What needs to be added is that, unlike the bars in China's traditional impression, American bar culture is a normal social way. Some bars suitable for young people, all American young people aged 265,438+0 can go, simply drink, relax and make friends.
Of course, these behaviors are based on the high popularity of "sex education" in the United States and the strict control of "sexual assault" in American laws, which can be described as a good protective measure for women who are at a disadvantage in sexual relations.
Claire, the mother of the American TV series Modern Family, prepares condoms for her daughter Haley, who is about to go to college, in case of emergency. We can see the openness of American teenagers' sexual concept and the objective and realistic sexual education concept shown by parents in the face of such problems.
Americans VS China's "puppy love"
Most Americans start dating from teenagers and high schools, which is considered normal and casual in American society.
On the one hand, teenagers can accumulate experience and gain emotional maturity by falling in love constantly. Even if the relationship in youth is difficult to last, American teenagers can grow up quickly in their feelings after experiencing setbacks such as lovelorn and breakup. On the other hand, they can know what kind of love they are suitable for earlier and form their own love view, so they are not easy to be interfered by their parents in terms of feelings.
In China, "puppy love" is a unique concept. Most parents regard puppy love as a "scourge" and "kill at the first sign" for fear of affecting their children's grades and future.
When I was in high school in America, my host family had a son and a daughter. My son is in grade 8, and my daughter 10. Both children have boyfriends and boyfriends respectively. Usually, the mothers of host families not only send them on dates, but also often invite their boyfriends and boyfriends to play at home. This shocked me again!