Stranger, can sophomore encourage me? Even if I don't work hard at home, it doesn't mean I don't want to make progress.

Here are the answers:

Why are you afraid to let your parents know about your efforts? 》

0 1 In private, you dare to work hard.

Senior two, I want to make a simple information analysis of your question first:

First of all, external support is my motivation. You think you lack encouragement at present, and your power source tends to be external;

Second, if you dare not work hard at home, do you still need to work hard at home? The sentence "I don't work hard even at home" shows that "at home" is a kind of "existence" different from other places, and whether it is necessary to work hard at home, you have your own opinion, which is more likely to be different from others and family.

Third, unknown efforts. Your parents can't see your secret efforts. Can strangers know and give you encouragement? In fact, you are very motivated and have been working hard outside, hoping to get good grades in the college entrance examination and surprise your parents? However, just in case, if you don't do well in the exam, your efforts will only bring "shame" and you are afraid to face your inner "powerlessness" and "powerlessness".

Thank you for asking this question, because not only you have this idea, but many people are facing this dilemma:

I work hard, but I'm afraid to let others know, especially my parents.

So many people choose to hide and pretend not to work hard.

The conflict it caused is not what it seems. Hard work is a booster on the road to success, but it is hidden in the snow and becomes a secret that cannot be made public.

Why are you afraid to let others know about your efforts?

Secrets are necessary for growth. You and mom, separated from your family, have your own things that are only related to yourself.

However, some people regard it as a "trophy" and cherish the collection, whether it is emotional or emotional; Some people regard it as a "tiger", whether it is an exam or a casual evaluation by others.

Why did your efforts become a secret?

First of all, it stems from the self-defense mechanism. In fact, it is the need of self-protection, in order to avoid psychological harm. Many times, this protection is unconscious, and you may not even know it yourself.

Secondly, it stems from the wrong self-evaluation. It is manifested in the externalization and materialization of self-evaluation. The process of growth is also a process that is constantly defined by the outside world. We affirm or deny ourselves by evaluating others, and "others" is narrowly defined as parents or close people. If adolescence does not achieve a breakthrough, expand interpersonal communication and cognitive ability, and successfully build a "self-evaluation system", the external and materialized self-evaluation system may slide to middle age or even life because of inertia.

Furthermore, it is inferiority complex. Not believing in yourself is a common problem for most people. People with low self-esteem often say "I really can't" to themselves when they fail again and again, but when faced with success, they attribute it to the outside world. "I succeeded this time, because I was lucky and someone helped me ..." People with low self-esteem tend to use "ten thousand preparations" to deal with "an accident", but the process is uncertain and only the result is certain. Therefore, if you don't show the process, you will shield all kinds of uncertainties and wait for the results to prove yourself.

Don't be a face-saving person, be a wife.

To be a face-saving person is to constantly seek the attention of the outside world, and the mood and state fluctuate with the outside world, just like a walker with his hands and feet tied.

As a wife, we should pay attention to the inside, have relatively stable goals, have relatively independent three views, make adjustments according to our own needs, and have a clear direction.

I have a friend who has always been called a model of "rational person".

Not long ago, a friend entered a new enterprise, and soon got the boss's approval, and was promoted and raised in advance. Colleagues in the company group advised him not to pretend to work hard, which was both ironic and obviously hostile.

My friend was a little surprised at first, but soon found the right thinking direction:

First of all, he works very hard. He is never late, and the short-term economic benefit is not obvious for the benefit of the company, but he straightened out the internal management.

Secondly, it is understandable from the standpoint and personality of the speaker. Because the appearance of friends has shaken each other's position in the company and changed the personnel pattern of "no one can't do it", and "running" is his usual trick;

Third, friends are "thick-skinned". From the color analysis of personality, friends are people with yellow personality, full of strength and sense of purpose. Although he is a scholar, he doesn't care much about what others say. He always dares to do "hard work" because he always thinks positively.

People who make lining materials, such as my friends, refuse to be dyed or painted by others, which is also the result of their own coloring and want to change.

Zhao Wei and Li Xiang buy red wine together, which is considered as "awkward moment" and "star fall in price".

Hammer Technology sells goods live in Luo Yonghao, and it is said that he is a "middle-aged man kneeling to earn money".

It seems that with a certain identity, there are a lot of "should".

Bi Shumin compared "should" to a grinder in the devil's hands. People passing by were caught by the devil and gestured on the bed, and the extra hands and feet were cut off. Everyone was black and blue because of it.

Everyone grows up with some "should" more or less, either from parents, teachers or strangers.

In this way, the grinder becomes the mold of the mind, shaping it into what it should be, not what you want.

Write it at the end

"Birds with wings on gold will not be able to fly."

In the same way, as a senior two student, it is more important than encouraging you to untie your heart immediately, do a subtraction of life, turn your ideal into wings, and don't get caught up in too many burdens such as "achievement", "inferiority" and "fear".

We are in the best times and the worst times, but there is no doubt that we have entered the era of lifelong learning. We are not fighting for a compliment, an exam or a position, but with the growth and enrichment of life.