I watched an interview with the new actor Hu Jing the day before yesterday. Starting with Taking in the name of people, I talked about marriage, happiness and family from the perspective of a wealthy family.

Q&A and the content involved are really few.

Ordinary people have two basic impressions of actor Hu Jing. One is that Summala's performance in The Secret History of Xiaozhuang is deeply rooted in the hearts of the people. The other is the impression of being asked about getting married at the press conference on 20 12 and crying in front of the media.

Hu Jing for the situation at that time, gave this answer:

She said: "This thing is very simple. At that time, Zhu and I had a quarrel, and then I was wronged. When asked on the show, I expressed it directly. I didn't expect it to cause so much speculation. "

Then I asked her a sentence, which felt very real and representative.

She said: just after giving birth to a child. I take care of my children at home, but the pace of my husband's life hasn't changed much. I have a lot of dissatisfaction, grievances and even jealousy, but my daily life can only wait for him to get off work.

Hu Jing sighed: "In the past one or two years of my life, I actually did nothing but gave birth to a child."

All new mothers will face this inexplicable emotional problem.

The same question, a well-known mother-infant platform mother once said.

Mother-to-child rice cake mother once told the media that the account of "Mother Rice Cake" was opened because she felt weak and irritable in her life two months after giving birth to her child. My biggest wish every day is to wait for my husband to come home and chat with him. But husbands who come home after a day's work are usually weak.

In a rage, I opened the official account of "Rice Cake Mom" on WeChat.

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The professional physical representation of pregnant women describes the mother's emotions like this:

Because the uterus was originally wrapped in hormones during pregnancy, a lot of hormones were lost after giving birth, so emotions will react, such as crying, tears, discomfort, feeling that I am not a good mother and so on.

However, these reactions are normal, not the mother's own problems, but hormonal reasons!

Throughout the perinatal period, women's psychological, physiological and even social expectations have changed.

From the perspective of evolutionary psychology, mothers who have given birth are under great pressure to survive. In ancient times when the environment was harsh, anxious and alert mothers could effectively protect their children from harm. The survival of them and their descendants has passed this anxiety left over from ancient times to today.

Two problems that new mothers in puerperium may soon face are the possibility of postpartum anxiety and postpartum depression.

First of all, postpartum depression basically needs to be ruled out:

Doctors suggest that new mothers can use self-rating anxiety scale and self-rating depression scale online to assess their status if they have any emotional symptoms after delivery.

According to the data of China Psychiatrist Association, the proportion of pregnant women with postpartum anxiety symptoms such as depression, pessimism, despair and restlessness is as high as 70%-97%.

It is not difficult to understand the experience described by Hu Jing: "During that time, the topics we exchanged were obviously narrow, all shit, all my emotions. It was a difficult time for us. "

With such a high proportion of mental anxiety, the current situation of the new mother can not be seen and understood by her family.

There is a compelling environment, and there is a mother who can jump. Just like the quick response of the rice cake mother, Hu Jing said frankly: It is precisely because of this that I realized that I can't go on like this and close the door. We're just an ordinary couple. We need to make progress together and have something new for each other. Every woman needs to find her own way to grow up.

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A post-90s friend of mine experienced the same emotional experience after pregnancy and childbirth. But she can take the initiative to give timely help to girls who control their behavior, and always seems to find opportunities and conditions to mediate herself.

In a group of nearly 100 people, the organizer launched a hand-painted painting group, and the sister enjoyed it. While taking care of the children, she forces herself to get up early every day and tries to keep learning to draw before the children wake up. Because I have a sense of fulfillment and motivation to do things, my mental state has gradually improved.

Although anxiety will still pop up from time to time, actively looking for a mentality and idea to do something can still get you into the growth zone, rather than chronic emotional exhaustion.

So how can new mothers relieve postpartum anxiety?

1. Recognition of mother's new identity.

Whether it is a mother who gives birth to a baby after marriage or prepares for the arrival of the baby, she needs this recognition of re-identity. A baby is a new life, an adjustment stage of self-identity and the beginning of the fission of family relations.

Psychologists say that new parents must have enough patience and determination to prepare for learning. Especially, as the head of the family, the father needs to help the new mother to actively channel her emotions and help her build her heartfelt self-confidence.

2. Be good at mobilizing the role of personnel and electrical appliances.

For a family, a strong support system is the best care for a new mother.

From the birth of a newborn to the different opinions of everyone in the family, it is a good consideration to find a new moon and raise a child if conditions permit. It can effectively ensure the sleep of the new mother, the early functional exercise of the child, and the basic way to raise the child in the future. Instead of a family scrambling to get their hands dirty.

For families where parents-in-law and newlyweds live together, even if they have to go out to work after giving birth, they don't worry that the baby will be left unattended. For novice parents, the assistance of elders not only substantially relieves their difficulties in time allocation and technical operation, but also becomes their powerful psychological pillar.

It is a blessing to have one more person to share during the baby's birth.

Moreover, at any time, novice mothers should have an idea: you are not fighting alone. There must be a feeling that everyone is defending their home together.

At the same time, I am willing to invest in various tools that help save labor and time. If there are many people at home, clothes dryers, sweeping robots, dishwashers, children's hanging washing machines and cooking machines are all good tools to save time.

3. Too many choices are not necessarily the best for children.

When the baby is born, the first thing mom and dad have to face is dazzling choices, such as the choice of full moon wine, the place to treat guests and daily necessities; All kinds of choices, such as naming and disease treatment, make novice parents realize that behind every choice, it may affect the baby's future, especially the treatment of diseases and symptoms, which is also the main source of stress for mothers.

Don't worry about not giving the baby the best. Children are actually stronger than we thought.

At the same time, as novice parents, the distribution of work and time will also affect the family's future planning. Nowadays, many mothers choose to give up their prenatal career and enter the family in order to have more time to take care of their families and babies.

Then the family must consider discussing the economy, time allocation, communication methods and other issues. If the family does not establish a good and smooth communication channel, it is easy to feel anxious about the relationship between the two sides.

4. Stress relief of parents' role

There are many things that new mothers have to worry about in their lives, such as personal physical repair, children's breastfeeding choices, baby products choices, and physical care for newborn babies. All kinds of seemingly simple life choices have great and far-reaching choices for mothers. In particular, having a baby who is prone to illness is even more confusing.

The responsibility of a father is not idle. The new family relationship means that the time between work and family must be redistributed, and the life of burning candles at both ends may last for a long time. For many novice fathers, this is an adaptation period and re-education period for a new relationship.

Experts say that there will be various situations in the process of raising a baby, which will test the parenting path of parents and the patience and love of parents.

In the process of parenting, parents will definitely lose control because of the baby's sudden situation, and there will be various emotional setbacks such as being unable to do so and fighting alone. However, we must keep a positive attitude.

Postpartum new mothers should also pay attention to the psychological adjustment of themselves and their partners before and after the baby is born, and treat them with understanding and tolerance.

At the same time, I must give myself the opportunity to communicate with my novice father and release a signal to the other party that I am trustworthy. If the mood is relieved, the chances of being excited and irritable in life will be greatly reduced.

On the contrary, so is the novice father.