If you ask Confucius how to get along with his friends? You will soon find something worth learning. Why do I feel that I appreciate Confucius? This can be found in the Analects of Confucius (? It can be seen from several paragraphs: First of all, Confucius has many friends, which is no problem, but when he associates with friends, his values seem a bit special. What impressed me the most was this sentence: the gifts my friends gave me, even chariots and horses, were precious in ancient times. As long as they were not meat sacrificed to ancestors, I would not bow down and thank them. I won't thank you, but you gave me a piece of meat to worship my ancestors. Although it's only a few dollars, after the ancestor worship, it means that you regard me as a friend of your family. When you worship your ancestors, you still treat me as a friend, which shows that you are affectionate and thank you. How many people can achieve this value? Our friends usually give gifts and sacrifice a piece of meat. My friend said, Oh, I don't like meat either. There are many reasons anyway. But if we give horses and chariots, to be honest, some of them will get weak knees. This is a general value, but why is there such a special case? We know very well that the friendship of friends is better than property. * * There is a saying that friends have friendship that makes money. This sentence is well founded. Judging from this situation, Confucius' making friends is a noble sentiment.

In other words, my friend died and there was no reward, so I was ill. My friend died, and nobody took care of the funeral. Usually there are two reasons for this. One is a family decline, and the other is a scum of children and grandchildren. It is very sad that no one cares about the death of a friend. Confucius said, I'll take care of the funeral and see my friends all my life. He won't say it's too much trouble Let me handle this. Don't you need to spend time and energy? Confucius said after listening that everyone has a goal in life. When you find someone close to or similar to your goal, don't you feel full and full of infinite energy? Going anywhere will not be boring, so Confucius treats friends as a gift in the snow, not a icing on the cake. There are many such stories in The Analects of Confucius, from which you can see a way for Confucius to communicate with his friends. What does he care about?

Among Confucius' students, Luz was particularly generous to his friends. By the way, we also mentioned that Luz was willing to take out his car, his Mata cotton robe and share it with his friends. It is not easy to break it. I have lived to this age, and I have only seen half a sliver of the road. What is Bantiao Road? You lent him a car, he lent it to you, and you broke it for him. He's very sorry. Where can I find the real way? We attach so much importance to our friends' feelings that property is simply a thing apart. He was inspired and guided by Confucius, so when we say that Confucius makes friends, not everyone has deep friendship.

It is still necessary to explain here that the first thing to consider when making friends is morality, followed by etiquette and standardization. When talking about morality, you should consider the interests when making friends. Morality is our goal, and we are like-minded. Then the etiquette words are standardized. For example, when Confucius went to Wei, a good friend lived at home. Once, I sent a friend to visit Confucius in Shandong. When Confucius saw him, he asked the guest, what happened to my old friend? The guest replied in a word that Mr. Qu Lao had no choice but to improve his fault. What should I do? After the messenger left, Confucius said, what a good messenger, the messenger who sent letters to others. So he made friends with Qu Boyu. When they talked, they said I wanted to improve my shortcomings, but I haven't done it yet. This friend of his is making progress every day. People say that in three days, we should look at him with new eyes. That's what I said, not what I saw three days later. Oh, how did you get plastic surgery! A different person ... that's not true. This means that I feel that I am growing up, and there is a similar saying that if I don't study for three days, I feel sick and bored. It can be seen that only by constantly seeking knowledge and constantly improving Xiu De can people continuously improve their lives. Confucius and his friends can also be said to be like-minded.

So I give some examples of Confucius' communication with friends to illustrate his way of treating friends. Then let's talk about the principle of making friends. If you want to make good friends, you need the following principles:

The first has the same interests and the same ideals; When it comes to interest, it means ambition and interest. When we were young, we read a sentence in The Analects of Confucius. Is that what this sentence means?

Confucius said "nothing is inferior to oneself", and the teacher translated it and said not to teach friends who are inferior to oneself. What did everyone think this meant at that time? Find a friend who is not as good as himself. Confucius said not to teach a friend who is not as good as himself, so he found a friend who is better than him, but his friend said that I have read this sentence. What should I do? No one can make friends, so I want to say, it's a pleasure to have friends from afar? So it is necessary to adjust this explanation at this time. This "such as" is not a comparison but a similar meaning. Don't teach people with different interests. If your interests are not similar, it is impossible to communicate. For example, today is a holiday, I want to climb mountains, you want to swim, I want to play ball, and you want to play chess. If the interests are far apart. We all want to teach good friends, but teachers want to make good friends, and you can be good friends yourself. This is not the way, so we explain it this way because we want to apply it to a wider range and have similar interests.

The second is to treat each other sincerely. Make friends with sincerity. The so-called "advice when most needed is least heeded". Advice is hard to listen to. There is something wrong with you. It's hard for others to talk about it. As your friend, I should take care of you like a mirror. Good guidance means guiding you well, trying to persuade you with good words and guiding you in some ways.

Then there is "don't stop, don't humiliate yourself". If I advise you not to listen, forget it. Friends are equal. If they are not equal, they will become teachers and students. If the teacher says, the students will listen, otherwise they will fail in the exam. If friends are not equal and have the same interests, they will become farther and farther away. It's possible. Some people are friends when they are young. They did many great things together, but later they were different. When they are old, they can't say a word. So life is full of opportunities for change. This should be taken into account.

Then the third is to choose friends to go to the Bank of China. The representative of Bank of China is very decent in words and deeds. He said, "If you can't go to the Bank of China, you will be crazy and arrogant. Crazy people will make progress, and arrogant people will make a difference. " Last time I mentioned crazy people, one of the representatives was Ceng Dian, Zeng Shen's father. He is a madman. As soon as I opened my mouth, I said what ancient people were like. It seems that there are high standards, making friends with crazy people and making progress together, but it is not easy to find them. At least we can make friends with them. They did something wrong. So why do we take these three as the standard when making friends? Because everyone is receiving education. I have been teaching in school for a long time, and I have a clear understanding that the first performance of a person after being educated is jealousy and doing something wrong. The result of education is that you disdain to do something that is not up to standard. There are many things in this world that can get some benefits, but I don't want to do it, not afraid to do it, but disdainful to do it. It's too low-level After education, these are inferior levels. If you don't do things against others behind their backs, you will make a difference. So you have a very high standard and ask yourself not to do some bad things, but you don't actively do some good things. You want to separate, Confucius wants to make progress, and Mencius puts it together and does everything. You can't have everything in life You want everything, but you get nothing. If you have a coward-like friend and a madman-like goal, the highest ideal is the Bank of China, that is, the golden mean, and behave appropriately.

The word "golden mean" is easily misunderstood. It needs a person to be impartial, and finally it becomes a swing. Therefore, my understanding of BOC can be understood in one sentence: "Crazy is crazy, stubborn is called BOC."

Some people are often crazy, always making progress and not knowing how to converge. For example, Zeng Shen's father is one, and the real BOC is great. Except Yan Yuan, Confucius praised students with reservations. He admired Ceng Dian, Zeng Shen's father and his ambition. Let me briefly introduce a passage: Confucius likes to talk with students about their ambitions. Now we are most afraid to talk to students about their ambition to be teachers. When you asked them, he said, "Do you want to hear the truth? Generally, when writing a composition, it is well written. When you were young, girls were nurses, like nightingale, helping others, and boys were firefighters, fighting fires everywhere. " . The younger you are, the more ambitious you are, and the older you are, the less ambitious you are. This time is really not easy.