Interpersonal communication and communication ability of college students

According to the needs of work, our team decided to adjust the staff in each dormitory. The roommate who has lived together for one year proves that interpersonal communication is one of the basic contents of life for college students who are learning and growing up like you. The complex social communication between classmates, teachers and students, teachers and friends, and individuals and collectives constitutes the network system of college students' interpersonal communication.

First, the importance of good interpersonal and communication skills to the growth and development of college students.

Interpersonal communication is a science. It is of great significance to the formation and development of college students.

Harmonious interpersonal atmosphere is the basis for college students to successfully complete their studies.

Society is not abstract, but is woven by concrete people and their interactions. For college students, getting along well with classmates and teachers creates a good study and life atmosphere for themselves to reduce their troubles, be happy physically and mentally, concentrate on their studies and successfully complete their studies.

(B) Good interpersonal and communication skills are conducive to cultivating college students' healthy psychology.

The definition of health by the United Nations World Health Organization is: "Health is not just the absence of physical diseases, but a complete physical, psychological state and social adaptability." From this definition, we can see that mental health is an indispensable part of a healthy person. In the past, people did not pay enough attention to mental health problems, and often did not understand the problems from the perspective of mental health. A mentally healthy person is a sociable person. He is willing to express his emotions, but he also accepts other people's manners and demeanor, and is easy to maintain a harmonious relationship with his classmates around him. People who live alone, like loneliness, leave friends and are unwilling to associate are often not mentally healthy people. In this sense, communication is an important guarantee for human beings to maintain mental health. Because people are emotional animals, people's emotional experience often determines people's psychological state, and emotional troubles are mostly manifested in interpersonal relationships. People need communication. When a person has a sense of belonging to a group, he will have a sense of security, eliminate loneliness and form a pleasant emotional experience. College students are in an important period of self-development and social externalities, so it is particularly important to acquire this group consciousness. The acquisition of a sense of community requires good interpersonal communication to achieve mutual understanding, understanding and recognition. Therefore, college students' healthy psychology needs good interpersonal communication.

(3) Good interpersonal and communication skills are essential qualities for college students to succeed in their future career.

There are many factors for a person's career success, among which good interpersonal communication is a prerequisite that cannot be ignored. Because interpersonal communication is the growth of young people's learning and open mind; Adapt to the society and locate accurately; Know yourself and improve yourself; Coordinating relationships and effective ways to overcome difficulties are all indispensable factors for young people to succeed. Moreover, local trainees like you are still facing the problem of finding jobs themselves. In the future, they will integrate into society = start their careers. Especially under the impact of market economy, social competition is fierce. If you lay out your interpersonal skills, you won't be able to gain a foothold in society in the future.

Good interpersonal and communication skills will help college students to have a happy family life in the future.

Only by being good at communicating with others can we understand others, communicate with others and handle all kinds of relationships well. In the near future, you will all have your own small family. Whether your family life is happy or not depends, in a sense, on your own interpersonal and communication skills.

Second, the problems in college students' interpersonal communication

In the study life of university, due to subjective and objective reasons, some of them often have poor interpersonal communication, which affects their physical and mental health and learning progress.

(A) the types of problems in college students' interpersonal communication

1, self-centered. When dealing with people, the word "I" takes precedence, only taking care of one's own needs and interests, emphasizing one's feelings and not considering others. When you get along with others, regardless of the occasion, regardless of other people's emotions, talk and dance when you are happy; When you are unhappy, you are unhappy, ignoring everyone, or losing your temper, disrespecting others and ignoring their situation and interests.

2. Self-enclosed. There are two situations in this type. One is that they don't want others to know themselves, and they always like to cover up their true thoughts, feelings and needs. They often hold a detached attitude, only pay attention to their inner experience, artificially set up psychological obstacles and deliberately close themselves up; Another situation is that although I am willing to associate with others, I can't let others know myself because of my personality. Such people are generally introverted and withdrawn, forming a state of self-isolation. There are also such students in our team, who like to be alone and don't like to get in touch with others. Everything is done by themselves, and it is difficult to integrate into large groups, resulting in a disharmonious situation.

3. Social utility. Everyone has such goals and ideas in the process of communication, and they all have the desire to improve and progress through communication. These are all good. However, if we think too much about personal wishes, whether the interests can be realized and how likely they are to be realized, it will be easily corroded and wooed by wrong ideas such as money worship and utilitarianism, which will make personal communication with a strong utilitarian color. In our student ranks, there are also some students who use the "principle of equivalent exchange" prevailing in the market economy to conduct interpersonal communication, build feelings by eating and drinking, and achieve personal goals by pandering; Or "mercenary"; Pay more for big interests, pay less for small interests, pay no benefits, ignore those who can't give themselves "benefits" and praise those who can give themselves "benefits". Individual students attach great importance to personal interests, and the best honors and achievements are their own, while others are not as good as themselves. There are similar problems between teams, even between teams and Qu. They work hard to finish the work of their own team, but they are unwilling to lend a helping hand when other teams are in trouble, hoping that their team and team will become excellent.

4. Suspicion and jealousy. Suspicion in communication is generally manifested in closed thinking based on an imaginary goal, lack of trust in people, casual suspicion, saying that the wind is rain, which is easy to hint. Suspicion is the moth of harmonious interpersonal relationship. In addition, psychology believes that everyone has different degrees of jealousy, which is a common phenomenon. A certain degree of jealousy can stimulate people's enthusiasm for progress. Once this jealousy limit will go to the opposite side, it will affect the normal relationship between people. In our usual communication, jealousy is mainly manifested in refusing to admit or even belittle the achievements and progress of others; With achievements and honors, I am complacent, but at the same time I am anxious, too wary of others and afraid of others catching up; Some people are even dissatisfied with what others have done. Envy, envy of sages, envy of capable people, this is the so-called "envy of sages." If you can't adjust your mentality well and develop it to the extreme, you will have the psychology of mutual destruction. What you can't get, others can't get. If you don't succeed, no one else will succeed. Those who can sit here are the lucky ones who have walked through the crowded narrow path of the college entrance examination. They are smooth sailing, and their sense of superiority naturally breeds. However, entering the university campus, the situation is different. Excellent students in middle schools gather together, and some students can't stay outstanding, and their academic superiority is lost, which is easy to produce jealousy. The light person appears introversion and avoidance, while the heavy person appears mental delusion, suicide and even crime.

5. Jianghu loyalty type. Some students are keen on Jianghu loyalty. They worship the so-called Jianghu heroes. They call each other brothers and become sworn brothers, regardless of military discipline, national laws and collective interests. They did not hesitate to do anything for their partners, which was very heroic. In fact, it defiles the relationship between revolutionary comrades, is the product of feudal society, and is a sectarian gang consciousness that protects the private interests of individuals and small groups, which is essentially different from the comradeship based on revolutionary principles. In our usual contacts, we must not engage in small groups and circles, but insist on unity and cooperation, cherish our friendship, and achieve "wisdom and goodness are higher."

(2) The causes of problems in college students' interpersonal communication.

There are many reasons for this situation, and several factors need to be analyzed:

1, selfishness is the first harm. Nowadays, college students like you are basically only children. Parents' expectation of children's success and their care for the only child have become hotbeds for cultivating "all for me". When you live a collective life independently and get along with your classmates, some students' "self-centered" selfish psychology developed since childhood is exposed.

2. Due to the lack of quality education, China's current education situation is still in the stage of exam-oriented education. The negative effect of exam-oriented education is that some parents, students and teachers are more concerned about students' exam results. It ignores the cultivation of internal qualities that cannot be measured by scores, including interpersonal communication and communication skills, which are necessary for social people.

3. The negative impact of market economy. The development of market economy, on the one hand, promotes the economic and social development and progress of China, on the other hand, it also encourages the expansion of some utilitarian thoughts, which also affects the philosophy of life and behavior of college students.

Thirdly, how do college students improve their interpersonal skills?

Good interpersonal and communication skills are not innate and need to be studied, exercised and improved in social communication practice. But just like other affairs, "Fiona Fang can't live without rules". In the process of communication, college students also have their inherent regularity, that is, they communicate according to certain communication principles. Only by following the correct communication principles can we establish harmonious interpersonal relationships and master and create better interpersonal communication art in communication.

1, the principle of good faith. It mainly refers to correct and healthy interpersonal skills, and creates an interpersonal atmosphere of mutual learning, unity and friendship, and harmonious coexistence. Never engage in cliques, fair-weather friends, unprincipled and unhealthy interpersonal communication.

2. Principle of equality. It mainly refers to the equality of personality of both parties in communication, including respecting others and maintaining self-dignity. Mutual respect is the foundation of friendship and a bridge between two hearts. Communication must be equal, and equality can deepen friendship, which is the premise of successful interpersonal communication. The fundamental feature of socialist interpersonal relationship is equality, which is the expression of social progress. Implementing the principle of equality means that Australia strives to respect the legitimate rights and interests and feelings of others in communication. The ancients said, "If you want others to love you, you must love others first.": Those who love others will always love others; Those who respect others will always respect others. " Respect is not unilateral, but depends on both sides, both self-respect and mutual respect.

3. The principle of good faith. Refers to honesty and trustworthiness in interpersonal communication. When dealing with people, on the one hand, we should treat people sincerely, neither flattering them in person nor slandering them behind their backs, but treating them sincerely and with an open mind. On the other hand, we should do what we say and promise to do as much as possible, so as to win the support of others and establish deep friendship with each other. Marx once praised sincere and rational friendship as "the priceless treasure of life". The ancients also said that "sincerity makes the stone open" and "sincerity makes the spirit". Sincerity is the key to friendship. Daisaku Ikeda, a famous Japanese writer, wrote: "Only by throwing away hypocrisy and being honest with each other can we know the most powerful, beautiful and sublime."

4. The principle of tolerance. When getting along with others, we should be strict with ourselves, tolerate others and accept their differences. As the saying goes, "gold is not enough, and no one is perfect." In communication, you should tolerate others, such as "there is no room for a grain of sand in your eyes", be harsh on others, or make trouble without reason, and eventually you will become an unsociable person. In addition, to be tolerant, we must exchange honesty for sincerity, love for love, heart for heart, and be good at understanding each other from each other's point of view, so as to get a clear understanding.

5. The principle of transposition. In communication, we should be good at understanding each other's thoughts and ways of doing things from each other's point of view, put ourselves in each other's shoes, and discover the unique personality of each other in dealing with problems, so as to truly understand each other and find the most suitable way to communicate and solve problems.

6. The principle of complementarity and mutual assistance. This principle is the psychological need of college students to deal with interpersonal relationships, and it is also a basic principle of interpersonal communication. Jade college students are not independent in economic life, and they are still in the school-oriented student era, so the principle of complementarity is mainly reflected in the spiritual field. Including the temperament, personality and personality characteristics of college students. We often find that people with different temperaments, personalities and abilities can get along well, but two people with very strong abilities may not get along well. Therefore, we should be brave enough to absorb other people's experience to make up for our own shortcomings.

(2) Establish a good team.

Generally, the formation of a team goes through four stages. The first stage is the gathering period. At the beginning of a group, students lack emotional connection and keep a large psychological distance; The second stage is assimilation. Through initial contact and group activities, students constantly have the same experience and the same language, gradually form a collective consciousness, and begin to have spontaneous demands and behaviors. The third period is the core period. In the further communication, a group of core backbones supported by students emerged, who established a relatively stable position in the team, and were able to unite students and consciously manage the student team. The fourth stage is maturity. The formation of the core in the team promotes the formation of collective norms, creates a group psychological atmosphere, unites students and coordinates interpersonal relationships. When a real team is mature, team spirit is the concrete expression of the whole collective situation. Every student has the responsibility to contribute to the construction of good team spirit and create a good environment for healthy growth through their own efforts and cooperation. The backbone should set an example, do practical things for students, and create a cohesive team, which is more conducive to students and interpersonal communication.

(C) exercise to improve people's communication skills

There are many interpersonal skills, which can be summarized as follows:

1, good at making friends. In interpersonal communication, the process of making friends generally involves three stages: mutual concern, initial dissolution and intimate contact. Being good at making friends refers to the process of skillfully attracting the attention of the other party, actively creating opportunities, naturally making initial contact with the other party, and then maintaining further contact.

2. Good at expression. As the saying goes, a word with you is better than ten years of study. Conversation is a good occasion to communicate information and gain indirect experience, and it is also an important means to express feelings and enhance friendship. Being good at expression requires that the content to be expressed should be clear and clear, and the way of expression should be appropriate, humorous and witty, so that the other party can feel relaxed and happy.

3. Be good at listening. On the one hand, the purpose of listening is to create opportunities for the other party to express themselves, on the other hand, it is to get to know each other better so as to communicate with each other further. To learn to improve the art of listening, we should first listen to other people's conversation, and don't interrupt each other's topic rashly, or influence other people's conversation ideas from time to time, or jump to conclusions without knowing the content of the conversation. Secondly, to encourage each other to go on, we can guide others to go on by simply agreeing, repeating and commenting. In addition, don't do irrelevant actions, such as being absent-minded, looking around, listening to music, being impatient, looking at your watch from time to time, and distracting your eyes. These not only affect the other party's interest in speaking, but also are very rude behaviors.

4. Be good at handling contradictions. In the process of interpersonal communication, there will inevitably be various contradictions and frictions, and being good at dedication requires a person to break the deadlock when encountering difficulties, or minimize major problems, maintain good interpersonal relationships, and create an atmosphere of in-depth communication.

The above will explain the problems encountered by many college students in interpersonal communication and how to improve their communicative competence. I think, on the whole, students should be self-respecting but not arrogant, honest but not reckless, modest but not hypocritical, cautious but not arbitrary, or eloquent but not tactful, brave but not reckless, easy-going but not cowardly.